Michael Glen Collin31 Slaughter

I thought everything was going well. I'd been eating better than any other time in my life, and even exercising a bit. I'd reconnected with several friends, made new ones, and managed to not fight as much with my roomie. My boyfriend Michael Glen Slaughter (who is known to various other people and groups as Collin or Collin31)... he and I were doing really well after a rough patch just weeks before; he'd even texted me several times that morning to tell me that he loved me:

I Text Michael: "I love you too. I was asleep but just got up. Gonna continue with my DCAU thing."

After working on my DCAU thing [a guide / timeline to the D.C. Animated Universe], (finishing with the year 2040), I needed a break, but got bored fast. I decided to go to gay.com and upload some new pictures of me and Michael. While I was doing that this guy Sean (screen name lord_omen_6) said hello to me. Now, Sean has been hitting on me for years, but somehow manages to forget me every time! As I was explaining that we'd chatted I mentioned that he used to date my boyfriend Michael and Sean reacted badly to that. We continued to chat though with surprising (and horrifying) results; here are some excerpts:

Lord_Omen_6: GRR
Lord_Omen_6: Hestill tells poeple that.
Lord_Omen_6: That pisses me off
Lord_Omen_6: You're not the first o tell me that

Me: Well, I have a boyfriend, so that's not likely for the foreseeable future.

Lord_Omen_6: I know.

Lord_Omen_6: If you were single, and I brought it out of you...
Lord_Omen_6: You could fuck me however you want, and cumwherever you want.

Me: Well, again, that's very nice of you. But I'm not single, so I'm not gonna go there. lol.

Lord_Omen_6: Told me he never told anyone that we dated.
Lord_Omen_6: And it's going aund.
Lord_Omen_6: Around
Lord_Omen_6: An you also know whapisses me off?

Me: The only reason he told me was because we're pretty open about that stuff, and we've been together over 5 months.

Lord_Omen_6: Welcome.
Lord_Omen_6: Now I know it's you that he is dating...
Lord_Omen_6: BUT...
Lord_Omen_6: This is hard to sy, nd I am truy sorry it happened, but Michael wanted to fuck me one day, this was months ago...
Lord_Omen_6: He never told me he had a boyfriend till after he fucked me.
Lord_Omen_6: I got pissed off at him.
Lord_Omen_6: He still tries to come up to me he did the other night.
Lord_Omen_6: I kept refusing.
Lord_Omen_6: I told him this was also the reason I ddn't date him.

Lord_Omen_6: He always get so horny that he wants sex.
Lord_Omen_6: I don't remember exactly.
Lord_Omen_6: He said he was dating someone frAnn Arbor.
Lord_Omen_6: He told me after he fuckedme that he had a boyfriend.
Lord_Omen_6: I asked him why did he wait and tell me after fucking me, and he said he was horny and wanted to fuck.
Lord_Omen_6: I told him it was wrong.
Lord_Omen_6: Never would I ever fool around with him again.

Lord_Omen_6: I'm not into cheaters.
Lord_Omen_6: If he was single, fine.
Lord_Omen_6: So, I didn't know, and I'm sorry

Me: I don't think I believe you, but even if it were true I'm not sure what it would mean.

Lord_Omen_6: Well, I'm being hnest and speaking the truth.
Lord_Omen_6: Try asking him while I'm there.
Lord_Omen_6: I even want to see if he'd lie again to my face.
Lord_Omen_6: He didn't want me to tell you, but I didn't know who his boyfrien was.
Lord_Omen_6: I don't care if he knows I told ou.

Lord_Omen_6: I'm tired of him pvting me to fuck me, and I always asked him if he told you, but he said no.
Lord_Omen_6: He picked me up.
Lord_Omen_6: Went to his house in Taylor.
Lord_Omen_6: In his room.

Me: Well, like I said, I don't know that I trust you, and I'm being up front with you about it. I'll talk to Michael about it. If only there was a way to prove you were telling the truth, but I'm not sure how that could work.

Lord_Omen_6: Talk to him about it.
Lord_Omen_6: If he denies it let me know.
Lord_Omen_6: Then we can meet up with him in person, and see if he lies my ace.
Lord_Omen_6: face

Me: I will definitely talk to him about it. But even if we met up with him in person and his story didn't change, it would be your word against his, and I'd be left to decide who was telling the truth, and I'm not sure I can do that given the information involved.

Lord_Omen_6: If he keeps his story he has with you, and lied tome...
Lord_Omen_6: I will know that he was never a good person, but a low-life.
Lord_Omen_6: I kept asking him each time he pvts me if he told you.
Lord_Omen_6: He said no.
Lord_Omen_6: I could even call him
Lord_Omen_6: He rarely gets online.
Lord_Omen_6: He told me to call when I want hi to fuck me.
Lord_Omen_6: Put it on speaker phone.
Lord_Omen_6: But I honestly think you're a good guy, and don't think you deserve this
Lord_Omen_6: I'm not trying to break you up, or anything...
Lord_Omen_6: Definitely not jealous.

Lord_Omen_6: But you can do a whole lot better than Michael because he cheats
Lord_Omen_6: Lies, too.
Lord_Omen_6: What are you doing?

Lord_Omen_6: Cool.
Lord_Omen_6: Say something about me to him.
Lord_Omen_6: Ask him a question about me and see what he says

Me: I'm not on the phone with him anymore, and 1) I've asked him point blank if he's slept with anyone else since we've been together and he's told me no. And 2) I've mentioned seeing you online in the past and he's never said anything about it.

Lord_Omen_6: Ah
Lord_Omen_6: He got quietfor that.
Lord_Omen_6: You said he never said anything at you seeing me online

Me: well, he didn't shut up about you; he just didn't seem freaked out that I saw you online.

Me: I don't remember all of it. I remember you guys saw Watchmen together (right?)

Lord_Omen_6: h...
Lord_Omen_6: I thougt I saw it with someone else.
Lord_Omen_6: Must've been with him.

Me: I think the only reason that came up was because I was reading Watchmen.
Me: Did you guys use condoms? (I just ask because you said that I could cum anywhere)

The conversation, which started out light-hearted and grew increasingly stressful, ended at 3:06 PM. I didn't know what to think. Mark was home so I told him about what happened and that I wasn't sure that I trusted this guy. Mark didn't trust him either. I mean this guy was an ex "friend" of Michael's, and while his words seemed to be compelling he hadn't backed it up as of yet, giving no real proof except his questionable word. Mark told me not to worry about it and that I should just talk to Michael about it. I started to relax a little. But the conversation stayed stuck in my brain, just as all manner of other random things do...and little things from the past started coming back to haunt me.

Like Michael's Manhunt account. We both have Manhunt accounts and back in April, about 2 weeks after we started dating we visited our respective profiles together and updated them to say we were unavailable. Michael wanted to go so far as to delete the few guys on his buddy list, saying he didn't need them anymore. I talked him out of deleting trev2424, a friend of mine that I hooked up with last November; I thought it was cute that we both liked the same guy.

On Monday, August 24, I went to my Manhunt account to delete some ads so they'd stop popping up in my e-mail account. While I was there I visited Michael's profile and noticed 2 disquieting details. The first was that while his profile talked about him dating me, it also listed his availability as: "Right Now". I was pretty sure that it didn't say that when I'd visited his profile with him back in April. Had he changed it? I wasn't sure. What he did change was add an update stating that he was HIV Negative as of July 1, 2009 - when he got tested for me.

This disturbed me enough to send him a message about it, which he responded to on Tuesday, August 25:

I know this makes me seem really stupid, but he didn't comment on why he'd updated his HIV Status and I didn't even think to question him on it. Still the question remained:

If Michael wasn't looking for sex on Manhunt, then why update his HIV Status? What purpose would that serve? And why did his profile list him as being available "Right Now"? Was the 2nd part a simple mistake? Even if it was, why the HIV update if not to entice potential lovers?

Remembering this I was reminded of something else Michael did on that day back in April when we went to Manhunt together: he gave me his login name and password; he even encouraged me to go there, though I never had. He told me that he didn't want us to have any secrets, but I trusted him. Well now I could go to his account and lay some of my fears to rest. Only getting into his account only made it worse. First of all, his membership at Manhunt had obviously been upgraded from a free account to something more expansive; he'd paid for a 90 day Unlimited Membership on June 26. Why would someone do that who's account was mostly dormant?

Second, remember that back in April he'd gotten rid of almost all his buddies saying that he didn't need them now that he had me. Well visiting his buddy list was quite the shock; he now had 67 buddies!

And then the worst part. Sorting through all the mail. Messages about hooking up that went as far back as August 21, 2009; A.K.A. the date of Michael's Grandmother's funeral. Maybe that set him off on this course? I tried to justify his behavior. Then I went into serious denial mode. This was all some kind of misunderstanding. Except details jumped out at me, insisting that Michael was indeed cheating on me nearly 24/7, and knowingly having unprotected sex with me. I went to his hotmail account next (I had all his passwords) and the story was the same, if not more damning.

What kinds of things jumped out at me? Well...for one thing, there was a Manhunt message from a guy (whom Michael had apparently fucked on August 21st), that started with notes exchanged on Saturday, September 5; just 2 days before. I remembered that day well. Michael had spent the morning with me, but had left to research this Genealogy Project he's been working on. I went to visit old friends that night and even invited Michael along but he was busy; this was passed along in texts:

I Text Michael: "I'm meeting old friends afterall. Around 8ish I guess. I need to sleep before then...probably go to sleep soon. Do you want to go with me and meet some peeps? If so then aim to be here around 7:30pm. If you don't want to go just dont stop by or I won't get any sleep...and I need it. I love you.

Michael: "I love you too. You go have fun. Call me when you get home and i will come over."

Jason: "If you want to then YES. I love spending time with you. I'll probably work on my DCAU thing also; it's fun and rewarding but very slow."

Here's the exchange from that same day between Michael and this guy 'JockItaly':

The first thing that struck me about this was that Michael had fucked this guy before and he wanted to again. The second thing was that Michael said he was free after 6pm on Tuesday & Wednesday; Michael was scheduled to get out of work after 6pm on both those days; he'd told me in a voicemail. The third thing I noticed was the day and times of the exchange; it's apparent that one of the two's clocks is set for the wrong time; hard to say if the conversation took place around 5:30 and bounced back at 3:13 AM (when Michael was in bed with me), which would explain why Michael didn't respond. Or if the conversation happened by Michael's clock (which, based on another chat they had seems most likely) that would mean that 4 minutes after telling me he loved me and to be careful on my way to the party, Michael then told this guy that he's completely HOTT; loved being inside him and would love to stop in again. Ouch! His reference to the Genealogy Project was dead on too. And then the misspelled all caps HOTT (in a sentence with no punctuation) hit me like a ton of bricks. Why? Because the style was very familiar to me. Want an example? At 10:07 PM on Wednesday, August 26, Michael left a comment on my Facebook about a photo of us that I had uploaded:

So this is when he fucked that guy...August 21st? The day of the funeral? He fucked me that day...after fucking this other guy. He held my hand and his mother smiled at me and I sat next to him while a man said kind words about Michael's lost relative. And that night, when I left to visit a friend for a few minutes whom I hadn't seen in 13 years and would possibly not see ever again, on my way to the emergency room to visit my best friend, Michael freaked out on me because I was meeting my friend at a bar. Kind of funny when you think about it. Only I'm not laughing.

Did it start here? Was August 21st the day that started this madness? Was it some sort of response to his grandmother's death? People can do crazy things when someone they love dies. But Sean told me that Michael fucked him MONTHS ago... But that could have been before we were exclusive if it was that long ago. Except Michael has told me more than once that he's only slept with me since meeting me.

Perhaps it's been going on since the moment he met me, but it's only after the death of a loved one that he became reckless and started saving his sex messages. Part of him wanted to be caught. When I first found all this I thought that was maybe why he gave me his passwords to begin with; that he wanted to be caught...but perhaps he was so skilled at covering his tracks until this point that it was meant to instill a false sense of trust between us? I simply don't know for sure.

What I do know from experience is that something from the above message is very Michael; he loves to fuck a guy faced down on a bed.

And I think it's likely that the above exchange suggests that Michael's clock is right while JockItaly's is wrong; the guy points out the hour and that he's tipsy from the bar, suggesting that it's after 2am, while his clock says it's not quite midnight; Michael's clock says it was between 02:46 & 02:53 AM.

As I sorted through the small mountain of e-mails / messages, details POPPED in my head and left me aching:

That's his address and phone #. Does he really think he's Collin? I know he goes by that name sometimes, but is it more than just what it seems? Is it an entirely different persona? Does he have split personality disorder? I have to admit that I once considered this a long while back; sometimes in bed his voice and demeanor change almost completely, which has always freaked me out...but I figured it was just a sexual quirk of his and tried to go with it.

He does have 3 roomies. And reading the messages I started to understand how they might not know about his activities. In the messages he says over and over that he doesn't fuck at home, and I'm sure he could tell his roomies all sorts of stories to explain where he's going and where he's been.

Wonder who the lucky friend is? He later says that the friend is 35. Speaking of which, in several of the messages Michael lies about his age, saying he's 34-36, while other times he tells the truth and tells people he's 37.

I suggested a possible 3 way once and Michael did NOT approve...and here he is trying to get at least 2 threesomes going...

That hurts so much! First he's having unprotected sex with strangers and then knowingly having unprotected sex with me. And beyond that, he's somehow able to bring himself to tell these people that he's in a relationship, but can't bring himself to tell his boyfriend that he's fucking around? I didn't know anything could hurt this bad. It's so intense that it's almost numbing.

He's always talking about that cemetery; he drives out to that place and walks through the cemetery; says he gets wild there; has asked me to go there; and this message when he was supposedly working on his genealogy stuff... And those ARE his AIM & Yahoo names. The AIM name references me. The Yahoo name is a combination of the names of his 2 cats.

At this point I was nearly catatonic. I still am really. I haven't been able to eat. I've hardly slept. My voice sounds...like a ghost's from a movie. Working on this page is all that's keeping me from taking a knife and...

Michael just called me [September 9, 2009 - 8:35 AM]. I talked to him about my suicidal thoughts. I cried. One ghost talking to another. He sounds...so sweet and kind and perfect; he sounds like My Michael, and he is, but he's all these other things too and I'm going to lose him because he won't tell me the truth - even in the face of all this proof to the contrary (and I'm not even listing it all here; there's more). If he just told me the truth I could forgive him. If he just told me the truth we could start over. I'd like to know all of him and not just the parts he shows me now. I know that must make me seem weak, but...maybe I am. People always told me I was so strong to have survived when so many others fell, but the truth is I'm not very strong at all. Not really.

So...back to Monday, I called Michael and told him I needed him, though I lied about a few things in the process. He came over after he got out of work, so after 1am on Tuesday, September 8. I talked to him about someone I knew who just died (Al, a customer from Hollywood Video). I told him I'd lied to him about certain things to get him there. I asked him if he loved me. I asked him to tell me about the other men he was sleeping with. He denied it. When I mentioned Manhunt he said that the message I must have read was a joke. When I showed him other messages he claimed that someone had hacked into his accounts. When Mark noticed that the IP Addresses from the sex themed messages matched Michael's IP Address Michael said he has a wireless connection and whoever had hacked his accounts must be doing it from close by. But none of his explanations made any sense. Who would go through all that trouble? And why would they use his AIM / Yahoo / Phone # / Address / Personal Info - wouldn't Michael have noticed all those messages / phone calls? What about his buddy list on Manhunt; the one he deleted but had since grown to monstrous proportions. What about the message about the cemetery that he loves to visit? What about the identical spellings and punctuation screw-ups? What about the days off from work that are quoted? What about the 139 Hotmail messages about sex and fucking that he just 'didn't notice' even though he did notice all the genealogy messages? It's all too much. And yet I tried sooooooooo hard to believe him! I smiled for him and got him to smile too. I told him that part of me believed him and part of me didn't and that he couldn't blame me for having doubts given the evidence. I told him I'd still date him, but that we couldn't have sex for 3 months and we'd get tested together this time and if we were clear we'd go from there. I said we should just 'date'; start fresh; make a new beginning for ourselves... I was nightmarishly perky. But I was kidding myself. There can be no new beginning when he can't share himself with me; really share himself. It's not his behavior that's killing me; it's all the lies. I want to lay down and die because of all of those beautiful lies. I know I'm unwell; I'm thinking crazy things; but I can't seem to shake them.

By checking the logs on my website (http://www.gothboy.com) I can say that the next two entries came directly from Michael's unique laptop signature:

And by checking IP Addresses I can say that the next e-mail messages came from the same cable modem that Michael uses (it's possible, however unlikely that these did not both come from his laptop):

From: "Michael Slaughter" <mgslaughter@hotmail.com>

To: "Sharon" <pignanelli@charter.net>

Sent: Monday, September 07, 2009 1:48 AM

Subject: RE: Ferguson Family

Sharon,

Sorry to hear about your husband. I hope everything works out with him. He will be in my prayers. And I am glad to hear you are doing ok with your rotary cuff. My mother had the same thing done in her right shoulder. And from my understanding another relative in Virginia had the surgery just a few weeks ago. So house on the market huh? Where you moving to?

The last thing I received from you was the Certificate of Death for Charles Ferguson. Since it has been so long that I have worked on this I cant remember how you and I are related. SO if you could get my info on how you think you are related to the Fergusons that would be great.

I have started a new tree online. Its at MY Heritage Family Tree the title I think is Berner. Just started it so I dont have a lot of the info transfered to it yet. That will take me a few days to accomplish if I can the energy to do it. PLus the time. I have my own house here in Taylor with 3 roommates 4 cats and 2 dogs so dont have much free time plus working 50 hours a week.

Well Take care. And hope I can get that info when you get a chance and/or when you find it. HEHE

Thanks

Michael

From: "Michael Slaughter" <mgslaughter@hotmail.com>

To: <pers-taums-1361626283@craigslist.org>

Sent: Monday, September 07, 2009 1:52 AM

Hey what up? Total top here let me know if interested. Taylor area...5'11" 150lbs 29 waist brn/hzl

This picture is of Michael; it was taken by me, on August 15, 2009 - at the birthday party Michael threw for me.
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When comparing the IP Addresses of the 2 above messages with a comment Michael left on my blog in July it's clear that they were sent from the same cable modem:

The message to the guy on craigslist led to a conversation, with the last bit featuring an attached picture of Michael masturbating, labeled "hot":

[There was also another message from this guy suggesting that the screen name he sent Michael was wrong and that he should try sprong300 instead. When I looked at Michael's AIM account later that day, both of these names were listed in his 'Recent Buddies' list. After I confronted him about all this he changed his password and when I checked again later he had deleted the names.]

Their AIM chat apparently started around 3:19 AM (per the above messages). It must not have lasted for long (or he got bored) because by 3:39 AM he was hitting on an old hookup (Dave - Screen Name NDDITHARD) on Manhunt and by 3:43 AM they were leaving to meet up at Michael's work so Michael could "pound a load in him":

[Notice the "Hey what up" that starts the conversation here just as it started the conversation with the other guy.]

[The above messages ended at 3:43 AM. The message says it will take about 20 minutes to meet up (indeed it takes 20 minutes to get there from Michael's house taking the Inkster route per the above map); that's 4:03 AM. I figure sex takes an hour. That's 5:03AM. Then there's the talking afterwards, and the cigarettes, and the lonely ride home, and the shower. That's what? Another hour. I think it's reasonable to presume that Michael was done with all that, somewhere around 6:03AM.]

I Text Michael: "I love you too. I was asleep but just got up. Gonna continue with my DCAU thing."

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Also, there's a certain horrific irony in that when Michael was messaging this

to Dave / NDDITHARD on Manhunt, I was just finishing my first ever poem for Michael exclaiming my love for him:

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When I confronted Michael and mentioned Manhunt he said I must have seen the above exchange between him and Dave / NDDITHARD; Michael said he was just playing with the guy who Michael finds annoying and he told him that he would meet him with no real intention of actually going so that Dave would finally leave Michael alone for good. Only Michael started the conversation, so that doesn't make any sense. Why start a conversation with someone that you're so annoyed with as to send them on a wild goose chase in the middle of the night - especially when that someone knows where you work? And Michael could have just blocked this guy to avoid him, but instead he's on Michael's buddy list.

As if his explanation didn't fall apart when only applying the slightest bit of common sense, on Tuesday, September 8, 2009 I sent a message to Dave / NDDITHARD from Michael's account asking if he'd had fun:

Please tell me the truth Collin. Please tell me the truth Michael. If you love me at all... just tell me what I already know and you're guaranteed a friend for life. If you don't tell me about this side of your life that you've kept from me (and just about everyone else) then I'll have lost you completely, and I just don't think I can handle that right now. I could know you in ways that nobody ever has if you only let me in.

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Michael called at 01:03 PM. He asked what I needed from him. I told him I needed him to tell me the truth. He tried to deny it all again. I confronted him with the knowledge that I had over 100 e-mails that contradicted that. He said something about there not being that many in his account yesterday, and I struck back with that I had noticed he'd deleted the few in his inbox, but none of those in his outbox, and even if he had - I had copies of all of them anyways. I also told him that I'd sent a message to Dave and that he had confirmed that Michael & he had had sex. He broke down and apologized to me and admitted what he'd done. This made me feel better than I can express. I'm still hurt. I'm still in pain, but it's less so now that I've confronted him and heard the truth from his own lips. I still have oodles of questions I'd like answered and I'm sure I have a lot of anger and sorrow buried within me that needs to be explored and expressed...but this is the first step towards that and it feels like a good one. For what it's worth, even if Michael and I don't end up being a couple again (I'm not sure that's possible now, though I'd like to try), I would still like to be his friend. If that means I'm weak, then so be it. But it doesn't feel like weakness. It feels like strength.

Michael came over about 9pm. He answered questions. He said he started fucking others around the time he'd paid for the Manhunt account (June 26). He couldn't remember the first guy, or a lot of details about any of them really. He never ended up fucking in the cemetery (though he had fucked guys there before we dated). He did fuck Sean bareback, but he says Sean knew Michael had a boyfriend before they fucked. He says he fucked 3 guys bare: Sean, Brad, and Dave. Brad is a Flight Attendant (North West?) and he & Michael had fucked before Michael met me; they hooked up again in a hotel about 3 weeks ago. Dave (from Monday morning) is also someone Michael had fucked before meeting me. And they did fuck inside Arby's; on the floor in the dining room, just outside the bathrooms; they've fucked there before (2 other times); and once at Dave's house; once at Michael's - but Monday was the only time since he met me. Michael never sucked or rimmed anyone; never got fucked. After he & Dave fucked, Dave asked Michael about his roomies; they didn't talk about me. He never talked about me with these people.

At 4:55 am I sent a message to Dave / NDDITHARD apologizing for the deception of him, by me, to confirm Michael's betrayal: