Thursday, October 8, 2009

I watched the first 3 episodes of Courgar Town. It's not that great. I tried watching the first episode of "The Good Wife". I watched the first episode of Eastwick. Nothing is good enough to distract me from my pain. I'm so worn out. I'm tired. And I feel bad for being tired and being worn out and not being strong. I mean, I'm not giving up yet...I just...I'm tearing up, and I'm not putting on a brave face at the moment. I'm so tired of this.

Mark found someone to cover for him tomorrow morning so we can go to the clinic at 8am when they open. Until then I just have to tough it out. The way I've toughed it out for over a week now. This pain is horrible. And I'm scared it might spread and do real damage to me. And nobody is doing anything despite me crying and screaming for help. Michael & Mark & Mollie have all been there for me and helped as much as they could but the people that are in charge of giving me the medication I need and the pain killer I need are...it's like they're laughing about my pain. I don't think they are, but that's what it feels like; like I don't matter and I'm just a joke to them to laugh about before they head home from their office, with no agonizing pain in their crotches to remind them that they've just screwed over a vulnerable man who's been hurting for longer than he should.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:27 PM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [2 Comments]