Tuesday, January 5, 2010

After chatting with Michael E, I read some more Robotech, and then randomly slept for a few hours. Mark had gone to the store and I was planning on going to Michael Slaughter's when he got home and the car was nice and warm, but I didn't wake up until around 1:30am, at which point the car was surely cold again. I read called Michael, who was also sleeping, to tell him I'd fallen asleep. He called me back to tell me he'd fallen asleep too. We had an intense conversation about our relationship; where it's going; if there's any way to fix it. We talked about his cheating and how he feels when he does that, and where I fit in, and it was all very sad. His life makes me sad; his pain makes me sad. He let me go.

I talked to Mark for a bit, and then Michael called me back and we talked some more. I want to help him, but I'm not sure how. I want to be his friend. I want to be his husband, but I can't be his husband if I don't trust him. I need time. And I don't know if he can give it to me. It's complicated and simple at the same time. But I'm keeping the conversation going. If I can be there for him, then I want to be. I love him. I like to think that's just the kind of person that I am.

Anyways, I might go visit him for a little while. But it's not all selflessness. He has chocolate I want to try! ;-0)

I'll probably finish my book later today - and I'll work on my farm too. I may start rereading the Harry Potter books next. Not sure.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:46 AM
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