After showering and shaving, and dressing and almost walking out the door, my stomach (which was upset last night) prevented me from joining Mark & his father. I would have gone but Mark could see how it was paining me to go and told me it was fine for me to stay home as his father was with him; saying that he wanted me to go but that as he knew me so well, that he understood what was going on with me.
That makes 1 of us.
Michael is starting to tell me that I'm too high maintenance. That he wants someone that can go out in the sun more often; who's stomach isn't often upset; who doesn't have headaches all the time. That made me feel really special... I feel broken. Like the broken toy that nobody wants to play with for long. It seems so rich coming from Michael, whom I've forgiven and given so many chances to after ripping out my heart so many times. I guess my nearly boundless forgivness just wasn't enough. This leaves me feeling, after his words and my failure this morning, as though I have nothing to give a potential partner. I hate myself sometimes.
I told you this too, but people shouldn't be so picky. There's no perfect partner. Well, except for me. You have a lot to offer. Lots of men would gladly take you as you are.