Thursday, May 18, 2006

I finished "A Density of Souls" last night...again. I didn't read it everyday this week because it's a short book, and I wanted it to last. It's not a perfect book, and there are even some mistakes in it, but that somehow endears it to me even more than perfection. Is that odd?

So...I was late to work on Sunday because I'd taken some Midrin before bed to rid myself of my every increasing migrains. I know it's related to my jaw, and it's really scaring me. But I'm working on that with my dentist, and my doctor, so it doesn't help me to run around bitching about it to everyone, so I just try to keep that to a minimum. But...what if nothing helps? ;-0(

Mark didn't wake me either, and he was home from his mom's trailer; he said he thought I was awake. I wasn't sure if that was true, because he had a bit of a meltdown when he was cleaning the kitchen earlier in the day, and left my room in a huff.

When I got to work, Heidi was in the bathroom, and Joe was alone outfront. That's not unusual, where there are only 2 people there, but Heidi was in there for a long time, and Joe said that a customer had been very rude (a major CUNT from what I've been told - and you can print that!) - and Heidi ended up crying, and saying that she couldn't do this anymore. I talked to Heidi and she was still on the verge of tears. And to her credit, it wasn't just the bitch woman from hell; Heidi had been sick since Friday, and unable to keep anything down except a bit of water. So she was exhausted, and sick, and tired, and she had to call in on Saturday (which she's never had to do at any job, so that stressed her out), and she didn't want to work on Mother's Day, but she had to, and she came in early to relieve Matt who had covered her shift the day before!!! The young lady had just pushed herself beyond all reason, and then had some wench cut in line, ask a question, leave, come back, cut in line, and bitch her out for doing her best!!!! What the fuck is wrong with people!?! Heidi has cried because of rude customers before. I know what that's like; but usually I feel like walking, and then I talk to DJ, or Bryan, or anybody - I go home, and try to relax, and I talk to my friends, and they call the customer names, and in a few days I don't feel like a cloud of bitches is surrounding me. But Heidi doesn't have as much experience at this, and she's very sensitive, so it was bad. And I just hope everything works out for her.

I also felt super guilty that I wasn't there when this Bitch "Woman" attacked, because I know I could have said something or done something... I voiced this to Heidi, and she was so thoughtful, and she didn't blame me at all. She said that it would have happened again eventually, and we do work in retail, so I have no doubt that she was right. But it still sucks. Even if I was ontime, I might have missed the first sign of bitchdom, and been totally confused when the major bitch fest began. It's confusing when people are mean to you at work, because your expected to not defend yourself. I hate that.

Carrie stopped by Hollywood to visit Sunday night. I was supposed to give her some tv shows (Hercules/Xena, Justice League, JLU, & ALIAS) to watch, but I had forgotten them, which she knew because I left her a message. It was nice to see her, and she and Heidi get along so well. Joe had left at that point, but he stopped back in because he had misplaced a movie he wanted to rent, so Joe met Carrie as well. She said that she read in my blog about us (Mollie, DJ, Mark & I) playing the Buffy board game, and she was a little miffed that I hadn't invited her because she loves that game (even though she hates the show). I told her that I had considered inviting her, but that with 4 players we had the option of playing Euchre as well, and she hates that game. She said I made the right call. lol There was also the fact that DJ is supergeeked on Buffy right now, and she'd have to listen to us rave about it, and we also watched 2 episodes of the show while we played. I also thought that an advantage of having only 4 players was that with Mollie as the Master, and me as Willow (I love to play as Willow), and Mark & DJ splitting Xander, Oz & Buffy - then DJ could get to play either Buffy & Xander, or Oz & Xander - so he could experience more of the game. Plus no one really loves playing as Xander, because he sucks (much like on the series).

Monday morning I drove Mark to work, went to Hollywood to give DJ some cookies, and see how he was reacting to Heidi's letter, which she left for him. He was thoughtful, and not as stressed looking as I expected. He thanked me for stopping by (as did Heidi when I chatted with her later), and I was again struck by how grateful I am that I have a boss at work, who is more a friend, and someone I can go to when I'm in trouble, or be there for when they are in trouble, without it feeling forced. It's really great. We talked about work stuff, and how no one wants to bother him when things are sucking at work, but that he would much rather be called into work than have someone quit because things are bad. We talked about other things too, but I had errands to run, and DJ needed to run to the store to get some stuff, so we parted ways, but our meeting was nice.

I went to the dentist office next. I had gotten a call saying that my insurrance company had approved payment on a bite splint, and I wanted to see how much it was going to cost, and see what they had to say about it in general. The head dentist guy, who's name escapes me, is beyond excited about bite splints in relation to migrains, and he worked closely with my doctor to get everything just right, and he said that he sent her office flowers for her troubles. He's really funny, my dentist, with an odd sense of humor, but an obvious passion for life. They asked if I had time right then to have the bone splint casting done. I had no clue I was going to be driving Mark to work at all, let alone running all over town so I didn't have time to shave, shower, or floss. I asked if they had a toothbrush/floss set I could use while I waited, and they did. The toothpaste was already on the disposable brush, and while I was grateful for it, it tasted awful. The casting process went quickly...though it was odd. And while my insurance will pay over $400.00 of the cost, it will still be over $100.00, and will cut into my plans to have my fillings removed/replaced, and my cleaning appointment in November. There is only a certain amount of money that my insurrance will pay for Dental in one year, and I'm already cutting it close. But I think that with my migrains getting so bad, that if there is even the slightest chance this splint will help, that it should be the option that I concentrate on right now. I need to talk to the dentist and let them know what's going on, and then schedule my other appointments accordingly.

When I was leaving home to pick up Mark for work around 5:45pm, Travis Kelley, my ex-bf, ex-fiance, called me. He called to check up on me. I had left him a comment on his myspace profile. He eventually gave me the best fricking apology I've ever gotten from anyone who has screwed me over. He basically said that he regrets all that bullshit, and that he looks back now and sees that he fucked up something really amazing and appreciates all the space and time and energy I gave him when he didn't even deserve it. I really believe he was sincere, which really made me feel good. I feel like I could be friends with him now; perhaps close friends, but I'm not sure. He didn't remember a lot of the horrible things he did to me (or some of the really fun things we did), and when I told him the bad stuff he was aghast and how poorly he treated me, and when we talked about the good stuff, it was on the verge of becoming erotic. And though it made me feel bad for his current partner (of 3 & 1/2 years), it made me feel good to hear that Travis hasn't really changed all that much. He screwed up all his potential relationships after me, and he's not very nice to his boyfriend now. This only made me feel good, because boys tend to date me, screw me over hardcore, and then couple for life. Which hurts me...a lot. And guys always tell me later, that I made them a better person, and that's great, but I don't get to reap the rewards of that process. Anyways, that was an unexpected surprise, and I cherish it. I think it would be neat to meet his boyfriend Matt. I spoke to him on the phone once or twice a few years ago. We'll see how this all plays out.

I drove Mark to work on Tuesday, stopped at the store for some food. I've been addicted to chocolate chip cookies again for the last few weeks. I've been really good about not eating them for the last few years, but I'm now trying to wean myself off them. I actually remove as many of the chips as I can before baking them, so there's only 2 or 3 chips per cookie. I think it's working. But man, you should see how many chips are removed from those suckers - no wonder the chocolate from those suckers made me ill.

I arrived early for work. It wasn't dead, but it wasn't exactly busy either. It felt like the day was dragging. I rented the first 3 discs of the 2nd Season of Thundercats (I watched the first 2, and that's probably enough for now). DJ continued watching Firefly; I know he's enjoying it, but I don't think he loves it yet, but he's only watched a couple of episodes so far. Bryan told me that Robert was expelled from yet another school. I love Robert, but I don't understand what he's going through. Why get expelled from school after school, and then do everything in your power to do it again? It's sad, and it makes me uncomfortable.

I left work ontime, and talked to my sister Janice on my cell while I waited for Mark to get out of work. I guess she and Jamie aren't getting along. There are problems on both sides, and Janice knows it, and is trying to be fair... I hope they work it out. I worry about Jamie; A LOT. We aren't very close... And that worries me because I love being close with Janice, even when we are at odds with one another. We talked on the phone while Mark drove us home, and then I said goodbye. I went to sleep.

I had wednesday off and did next to nothing. I chatted on gay.com for awhile, and met this guy who begged me to fuck him bareback. He was hot, and fit into a lot of the things that I love about sex, but he didn't seem to want to get to know me at all, which I just don't understand. Why do people think I'm freaky for wanting to know them BEFORE I stick my dick in them? Plus, while barebacking is hot, it's also really dangerous, and I wouldn't even seriously consider doing that with a stranger. I thought I might hook up with some friends but I just ended up watching Thundercats, ALIAS, and then slept (for hours & hours). I guess I needed it. I kind of felt like I was fighting off a cold, which is within the realm of possability, as several customers at work the day before seemed to be coughing a lot. I feel ok now though.

I work today & tomorrow. And I'm going to watch the new ALIAS now.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:21 AM
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