Sunday, July 16, 2006

Jeremy called me around a quarter after 7pm (Saturday night) to let me know he was still working at the salon, dying his friend's hair black & pink! He said that after they were done, she was taking him to the Aut Bar for a drink, but that he'd come over after that. Well, I was still cleaning my room and going through old photos and stuff, so I figured I could wait that long with no problem. My stomach was really upset, and I thought it might have something to do with being nervous about seeing him again. His visit to Hollywood the day before had been oddly tense, and I was worried that things would be different between us to the point of not being worth it anymore.

Nearly 3 hours later, Jeremy hadn't arrived and I decided I would go up to the bar and get him myself. I got dressed, went to the door and opened it to find Jeremy standing there - and all the tension was gone. All of it. We talked, and talked, and talked some more, and cuddled, and talked. It was fantastic. It was just like it had been before. We talked about all the things that we couldn't talk about in the 2 weeks since we broke up.

He told me he had been crushed. That he almost cried at work a couple of times, and he NEVER does that. That made me feel good. lol I showed him some of the stuff I'm working on for his cd, and he really liked it, which also made me feel great. He told me again that he doesn't use the word love, and that he doesn't believe it, and I told him I'd convince him, but he said that Danny has been trying for years. He later told me he had seen that I was falling for him (everyone could) - but I pointed out that if he could see that I was falling in love with him, then why couldn't he believe that I loved him. ;-0) And I pointed out that Seth had told me that he loved me. When I asked him about the other boys he has sex with, he told me that it wasn't like this, and that there was 1 guy that might be different from the others too (someone he's been flirting with lately, who's younger than him), but that it still wouldn't be what we had, and when I asked him why it wouldn't be the same, he almost seemed to want to use the L word, but of course he changed the subject. lol

After lots of serious talk, we were going to do the actual recording, but while he was trying to distract me from certain conversations, we ended up fucking. It was really hot! Really safe, and really great. And I loved every second of it. Afterwards, we took a shower, and got the recording done, and he said goodbye at nearly 2am. I came upstairs and started writing this, and he called me around 2:18am, to tell me that he'd heard a song on the radio that really struck a chord with him; something that could be used on his cd. I've never really collaborated with someone on a cd for them in this fashion, and it's actually a great way to work. The tension of wondering what they will think of the cd is lessened, and I get all this positive feedback, and thanks throughout the process instead of just one big burst at the end.

I should get dressed and go get some groceries. Maybe relax and watch Smallville, or maybe work on the cd some more. I won't be seeing Jeremy for at least a week; he's leaving for up North today, and won't be back until Sunday the 23rd. Erg. I want this friendship to last.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:31 AM
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