Saturday, May 19, 2007

I swear I'm cursed. Anytime I plan anything (without 3 months or more advanced notice) it falls apart...or explodes. Sometimes, even with the advanced notice it all crumbles away.

One of the things that I liked about Corey when I met him online a few years back, was his online profile, and what it said he was looking for. Here's a quote from his current profile concerning what he's looking for in a guy:

"you say you are gonna do something do it dont make excuses about why not or why you cant just do it"

Corey can't make it again. He was really close this time. He was half way here when he got the call from his ex-bf roomie Michael who was crying and wouldn't tell him why. Corey gave me a call letting me know he was going back home to see what was going on (which was dejavu all over again for me), then called me back later to tell me Michael's mom had a stroke, and Corey's now driving Michael up north to see his mother. Last time Corey was going to come over he cancelled because Michael had called him crying because he was so sick. I'm sure he was very sick, and that his mother is very ill - I don't hate him or disbelieve him or anything...it's just really annoying, and I'm disappointed and whiney. It doesn't help that almost everytime that Corey has been here he tells me a new story about how Michael treats him like crap. Michael lies to him. Michael actually spit on him once, as they were going into work! He also hooked up with a guy that Corey had met first, and then when the guy treated Corey badly, Michael didn't defend him. Everytime I plan on us doing anything new it doesn't happen. First it was a gallery show of my friend's, which we didn't make it to. Last time it was going to Necto on Factory Night. This time I was going to introduce him to some friends from out of town.

I kind of get it though. I'm sure people who've read my blog wonder how Mark & I are friends when we have really bad fights and often don't get along. Michael & Corey hang out and do there things together...it's not like they are enemies. I just...I put a lot of effort and planning into having everything perfect for when Corey's here, and then 3 times out of 5 or 6 or whatever...he's cancelled. If he hadn't cancelled tonight he would have gotten here 30 minutes ago. :-0(

Mark installed AVP2 on all the computers and fixed the bugs in them, just so he, Corey & I could all play the game together, because Corey likes video games. Mark likes Corey, last I checked, which is rare, but I'm afraid Mark will start disliking him as he sees me getting hurt like this, and that will just make everything worse. I took Sunday off of work so I could spend time with Corey. I'm not complaining that I have the weekend off...

I'm disappointed.

End of story.

Or not.

If Michael is reading this, I'm very sorry that you were feeling ill awhile back, and that your mother isn't doing well; I sincerely wish you both the best of health, and I'm completely jealous of the times you've spent with Corey when he'd planned to be with me.

If Corey is reading this, I hope you're safe and rested and stress free, and as disappointed as I am. And I hope you find some fantastic way to reverse all this shit and make it up to me. :-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:37 PM
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