Thursday, November 22, 2007

Wednesday, the cold medicine I had in my bag spilled all over everything, and some got on my sheets. It was gross. Our car is leaking oil. The dryer, with my work clothes in it, decided not to work (it does that sometimes), but then it kicked in just in the nick of time. I got to work on time, and I was in a really good mood.

Work sucked beyond the telling of it. There was this crazy woman...who wasn't horrilbe or anything, just really emotionally distraught to the point that logic and words were not getting through to her. It was sad, but annoying and stressful. I did just about everything right though, according to my coworkers, my manager and the other customers that were there, so I tried to not let it bother me. It was nice to work with so many of my coworkers at once though. ;-0)

After work, Mark & I went to Party America to get decorations for this party that I'm throwing on Saturday. Then we went to Meijer & Barnes and Noble. Then home, where I took some cough medicine and passed out for a few hours before getting ready, and meeting Michael at Necto. It was both goth and gay night, to celebrate the holiday, so I knew a disturbing number of people that were there. Colin, Mark, Freedom, Scott, Keevan, Joey, Becky, Christine...so many friends in one place. It was nice.

The only down side, was that Michael's (who continues to be fantastically adorable) friend Nate, who is dating my ex-boyfriend Paul, was there. I've never had a problem with Nate in the past. I even tried to be friends with him online. I've encouraged Paul to date Nate, when Paul was questioning about stuff that was going on. In short, I don't know him well, but I've always kind of rooted for them to work out. They broke up on Saturday I guess, and Monday night at the bar, he was dancing on all these guys, and according to others that were there, he made out with two guys. I wasn't bothered by it though because he wasn't dating Paul anymore, so there was no conflict for me, as it wasn't any of Paul's business at that point. The next day, Michael told me that after Nate basically hit on him (which pissed me off), and he turned Nate down (which made me glow), he went home and got back together with Paul. I thought that was weird, but they live together, and I figured that what happened when they weren't a couple wasn't that big a deal - I mean - for all I knew, Paul had fooled around too. But here was Nate, without Paul (who apparently wanted to come, but was told he couldn't), dancing on/around/inside of this guy...and it just pissed me off beyond all reason. It made me sick to my stomach, and I almost left. Not only was he doing this, while he was with Paul, but it reminded me of all the boys that have screwed me over, and nobody did anything to stop it. I stormed off and almost left, but went back to dance with Michael, where things on the dancefloor continued as before....

Well, eventually, I went over to Nate, who was grinding on this guy's ass, and asked if he and Paul and broken up again. He said no. I told him that if he didn't want Paul to know about this stuff, that he shouldn't fucking do it in front of me. I expected this to stop him from behaving this way...only it didn't exactly; he just went off somewhere with the boy, doing Joss knows what. Ugh. Part of me feels like I should tell Paul. Part of me feels like I gave Nate a warning, and maybe he'll get back on track now, and either make it work with Paul, or get out of the relationship. Either one is fine, but screwing around on Paul is not an option. That's gross and cruel. Paul is my ex, but I don't want to see him hurt or get screwed over. That's just wrong.

It sucks too. Because Nate is really close friends with Michael, and I liked that though we didn't know each other well, that I kind of knew him, and that we apparently got along, and now he's put me in this really awkward position, where I feel like I should not like him because of his behavior, and in fact I'm leaning that way at the moment. And now, knowing that he didn't just stop dancing with this boy, but he went somewhere then where I couldn't see what he was doing makes me feel weird about seeing Paul. Mark thinks I should tell Paul, but I just don't know. This sucks. I don't know what to do. What I think I'm going to do, but I haven't decided, is to let it go for now. But if I see any such behavior again, all bets are off. Because I gave him a warning, you know? I don't want to be a dick, but I kind of love Paul, and that shit just isn't cool. Erg.

The rest of the night was nice though, once he was out of my sight, and Michael and I were good. He asked me to call him when I got home and I did. Later he called me back, and let me know he talked to Nate about what happened. I guess Nate is bummed that I don't like him at the moment, but it's not like I didn't want to like him. He kind of forced my hand here. I want to get along with him and stuff...I just can't do that if he's screwing over someone I care about, who he should be caring about. Ugh. I'm going in circles here, I'm so tired.

Michael is coming over this evening, after I get home from work to watch the Thanksgiving episode of Buffy. Friday, I work again, but don't have any plans after that. Saturday is the party, which Mark & Michael are both also attending. I work Sunday night; have Monday-Wednesday off, then work Thursday & Friday. I have Saturday off and I close on Sunday. And that's all I know at this point. Except that I need to scrub the makeup off my face, and get to bed before the Nate/Paul angst drive me bonkers.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:20 AM
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