Sunday, July 3, 2005

I got all dressed up and headed to Aut Bar, and said hey to the crowd, but realized I wasn't really in the mood to be there. I also gave Andy a call, but got his voicemail which is understandable since it was nearly midnight. A lot of peeps commented on my outfit, which I was worried wouldn't be recieved well, as it's kind of...nazi wear. But I got rid of the big red armband that really made it scary; I don't need people thinking I'm a nazi; enough stupid people think I'm a skinhead. If they could just see the people I've dated that wouldn't be an issue.

I kind of think I should get some groceries... There's something going on just up the road; there are 2 cop cars parked on opposing sidewalks with not cops inside, and what I think is a county sherrif's parked the wrong way on a one way street with it's headlights on. I almost stopped to ask them what was going on, but...didn't. lol

Well...I'm off. (Way Off)

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:48 AM
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I just got home from getting groceries which was kind of relaxing actually. But before I left I checked my e-mail and there were messages from Andy, Mollie & Scott (who I saw at Aut Bar earlier. Now all of these e-mails sidetracked me for a half hour or so. Andy's was about him missing my call & wanting to hang out, and watch Justice League, which was nice. Mollie's was to let me know she has a live journal now, which I visited and commented on; I think her journal will be extra fun for me, because I love her so much. And Scott's was about me not returning to the bar - after I told him I'd be right back (like in Scream). I e-mailed Scott back and let him in on why I didn't return to the bar...

Now, this is the first time Scott has ever e-mailed me. And he once claimed that he had never been to my e-mail because he didn't "do" that internet thing. At the bar he said that I looked very clean. I took this to mean that I looked good (which I did), or freshly shaved (which I was)... But it was a strange compliment/comment. Scott is attractive. But Scott is a smoker. Which annoys me because the smell of smoke on a person just really... Sometimes it turns me on actually. But more often than not it's a huge turnoff. Which sucks because Scott is hot, and he's a got a fantastic dick (trust me) and he's just... He's the kind of guy that I'd really enjoy fucking.

But there's more. Scott & I... We are mutually attracted to each other, but he's a complete mystery to me. I can never 'read him'. I just have no idea what he's thinking at any given moment, or what he wants, or thinks he wants. lol Sometimes I think he really hates me, but he assures me that it's the opposite. And I usually don't have this much confusion with a guy.

Scott is a cutie, and he's a bit odd. (not that I'm not odd) And I'm glad I know him.

Oh - and 4 years ago tonight I met Travis Kelley at a Denny's in Battle Creek. wacky.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:56 AM
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   Monday, July 4, 2005

Work flew by Sunday night. Heidi was there most of the night, which was fabulous ;-0) And a disturbingly handsome boy with spikey blonde hair, shiny silver belt, and the cutest shy type smile I've seen in...well, days actually, but still - tried to buy a gift card, but since the storms last week we haven't been able to do that sort of thing. I was hard for like a half an hour after he left. He didn't rent anything (I suspect he wasn't old enough), so I don't know his name or anything, but it was one of those moments that's just... It's cherished for what it is. And I made him smile.

Some of my favorire lesbians were in the store tonight. I love lesbians, and these ladies, whom I've known for nearly 12 years are just cool. They are so OUT & they are perfect together, and they have a lovely family. Though their devotion to Stargate-SG1 scares me a little bit. lol I doubt they would ever come to this site, but if you are reading this; I love you guys. I watched them walking home, hand in hand, with pride jewelry to spare, and it made me smile.

hmm hmmm hmm Heidi told me some great news that I can't write about here, which sucks. But I'm so very happy for her. ;-0)

Um...I just read the latest Entertainment Weekly. My older sister used to have a subscription to it, and she used to yell at me all the time when I would read it before she did. lol I don't know how I got this subscription exactly. I probably signed up for it at random.

And now...I shall do something else.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:49 AM
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   Thursday, July 7, 2005

Monday, July 4th, I did nothing. I slept for nearly 11 dream drenched hours, and woke up feeling fantastic, and well rested. You know how sometimes you sleep too much, or too little and you just feel like crap? Well that didn't happen, so apparently I really needed that. Monday night I rented some movies and stayed in to watch them. The movies were: "Dark Harbor" & "The Caveman's Valentine"; the first one was ok, with plot twists that I'd seen in other movies, and the latter was rather lovely actually. I had never heard of either film, and sometimes that's a nice kind of moderate treat. lol

Tuesday, I got up around 11:30am to get ready for work. Mark drove to the condo to pick me up (we do this all the time, since we share the car), and then he drove us back to his work so I could take the car to my job, since I get off before him on weekdays. So he was driving us to his job, and he started driving under the speed limit, which is odd for him in general, and odd for the day because I was cutting it pretty close and I hate being late (even though I often am late for things outside of work, which doesn't bother me at all). Mark said he felt tired all of a sudden, but that passed so I left him at his job, but told him that if he needed anything to just call me at work.

I was at work for 20 minutes or so (with Bryan & Scott) when Mark called, wanting a ride to the hospital. Bryan let me go, and Mark & I spent the next 4 or 5 hours in the Emergency Room, with maybe an hour in another place where he was tested for blood clots, which he was afraid he might have because one of his legs hurt and a was a bit swollen; they ruled the blood clot thing out, which was very good news, but he still felt crappy, which wasn't good. After another few hours, Mark said it was fine if I left, as I didn't need to be there, and I was tired & hungry, and in need of a shower.

Now some people might have felt the need to stay with their friend/love/lover/ex-bf blah blah blah, but about 2 years ago I was in the hospital and Mark was waiting for me, and while I was very comforted by his presence at first (indeed I wouldn't have gone to the hospital in the first place and would surely have died), after I had a space and had been taken care of, and exhaustion finally set in, I told him he could go, and I'd be fine, and he did, and I was grateful that he had - I was grateful because he had given me everything that I needed that day, even his absence, which didn't mean that I didn't love him or want him near me, but sometimes people need space, and you have to give them that too.

I went home & showered, and ate, and I crawled up on to my bed, and I really wanted to sleep, but I was a bit paranoid that the phone would ring, with Mark on the other end letting me know he needed a ride, or that they had found something, or...anything really, and I that the phone wouldn't wake me up. Sometimes my phone doesn't even ring; there is just the sound that my phone makes when someone leaves a message, and it only makes it the one time, so if I miss it, I'm screwed. I tried watching the remaining movie I had rented (I returned the other 2 when I went to work), which was "Chain of Desire" on VHS (it's not available on DVD) which I don't think is so much of a tragedy. Maybe it was just the day I was having, but the movie seemed kind of lame, and I shut it off after a half hour, and took it back to Hollywood.

I went to the hospital and parked in the structure. Mark was in the ER, and they were testing him for anemia, which we're pretty sure he doesn't have. Long story short, they didn't find anything, and they think he was just dehydrated, which Mark & I don't buy, because he drinks bottled water every damned day, and he's been eating better the last few days than he has in a while so the anemia thing seems weird. The staff was really nice though, and all the people who spoke to Mark and me with respect, and most of them, I'm sure, assumed that Mark & I are a couple. We are actually; a couple of old friends who have seen just about everything there is to see of the other - and that's not something I'd trade for anything.

Tuesday night I was tempted to go to the bar, but I also wanted to spend time with Mark and make sure he was alright. He enjoys watching television shows with me, which has happened less & less over the years as I've grown dissatisfied with what television has to offer. I asked him if he wanted to watch "The L Word", and he said yes. We watched 2 episodes; one of them featuring a cover of a song that I'm using on the Shawn Project - which I so have to buy!

After Mark went to bed I ended up chatting with Shawn on yahoo.messenger & it was really great. We've exchanged e-mails (sort of) but there's been no connection, which I've really hated. The conversation took care of that. After talking to him, I worked on editing some tracks for the project, and then I watched 2 more episodes of "The L Word", (which I'm enjoying a lot right now), and since I had the day off I thought I might some record some new stuff as well. I like to be alone when I record stuff, because I'm paranoid that if others are there they will make too much noise (any noise is too much noise), and also, because the recording can be very emotional and if people see you that way, they want to hug you and stuff, which does not help the recording, which is kind of the point of doing it. lol But when I went to wake Mark up for work he said that he was going to call in to work because he still felt rotten. I was annoyed, to be honest, but I was also worried about him, and just kind of cancelled my own plans and went to bed.

When I woke up around 4pm, Mark was gone; he'd gone to work after all, and I could have gotten work on the cd done. I made some lists. I do that. I make lists. I think it's fun. Lists of things. tv shows. movies. books. people. ideas. I know it's weird, but I think it's fun, and I think it's one of the things that helps my memory be so fantastic. Mollie called at one point and we talked about stuff; the day, and how today is Robert Alfaro's birthday, and we talked about gifts, and about Mark & blah blah blah. It was nice.

I was still making lists (relating to Justice League lol) when Mark got home from work around 6:30. I had lost all track of time. We worked on getting some videos on the computer from the camera, but we didn't have a lot of success. I went to Hollywood and got my schedule (for Solomon & Janella - which I'll discuss more later), and rented "Gummo", "B. Monkey" & "Groove"; none of which I've ever seen - hopefully I'll find some time to do so in the next couple of days.

So Solomon & Janella dropped by my work on Tuesday to return my Buffy/Angel dvds which I let them borrow so they wouldn't have to pay to rent them. They've had them forever, but it didn't bother me, because they rock ;-0) But another friend wants to borrow them, and has been pushing me to get them, so I let them know, and they dropped by the store, but I was at the emergency room with Mark, so they are going to bring them by the store today for me, which works out nicely because I get to see them. And the reason on get next weeks schedule was so I could e-mail it to them because we want to find time to play some games; board games, card games, computer games - whatever - we like them. And this time we want Mollie to join us, because everything is better with Mollie, but I haven't spoken to her about it yet, and I have no idea how her schedule is next week. So we'll see.

I fell asleep while Mark was working on my computer & slept until about 4am. When I woke up, my right hand was hurting really bad, but I don't know why; I think I might have slept on it or something. I watched 2 more episodes of "The L Word", and with the action that was going on in the episodes I shouted out FUCK a few times, probably a bit too loudly, and I danced for awhile too (cause I'm crazy) and so the neighbors probably think I got laid last night. lol The episodes left me in a fantabulous mood, and if I could call everyone I know and tell them that I love them, without them killing me for doing so at such an unjossly hour I would!

Oh, I read this thing in Entertainment Weekly the other day, that said that Terry McMillan, who's real life romance & marriage to Jonathan Plummer inspired the novel & film of "How Stella Got Her Groove Back", has filed for divorce after 6 years on the grounds that Jamaican native Plummer lied about his homosexuality so that he could gain U.S. Citizenship!?! The film starred Angela Bassit & Taye Diggs (yum), and I would pay big money for that sequel! ;-0)

Today I work from 1pm-5:30pm, and then I pick up Mark from work, and then we pick up gifts for Robert & then pick up Mollie & then go to the party for Robert at his grandmother's house. And then...I don't know what. lol I'm wearing one of my new wacky cool outfits, which I'm going to show Janella & Solomon when they drop off my dvds; I have to take the outfit with me to work since I won't be coming home first. So.... I'm gonna watch another "The L Word", episode; take a nap, and get ready for work. I hope everyone has a great day.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:18 AM
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I watched the 9th Season 2 "The L Word" episode, woke up Mark for work, decided to check out Mollie & Carrie's live journals for news, and another friend of mine had posted about London Bombings so I headed to CNN & found this.

I know it's become a joke, but...why can't we all just get along? There is no reason for this bullshit! This violence is pointless & cowardly, and... And I'm not gonna let this stop me from feeling great, but I will let it influence me; I'll let it inspire me to love everybody around just that much more.

I'm sending a big I LOVE YOU out to all my friends and family.

Be safe.

Bald Jason
http://www.gothboy.com

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:49 AM
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