Monday, February 27, 2006

My fever has come & gone & come & gone so many times now...that when it does go down I just assume it will be back. My fever was down last night, but I woke up around 5am with 101.5; unthrilled. I've been able to eat crackers without them coming back up. I've been drinking a lot of water. It's still impossible to get comfortable. I tried eating some yogert, but I couldn't taste it. My fever has risen and fallen so many times since Thursday night that I'm...so tired of it... I didn't go to work Sunday (obviously). Around the time I was scheduled I was in the bathtub. I've taken a disturbing number of showers and baths, but I can't help it; I'm constantly sweaty, and uncomfortable, and when my body aches, I like the hot water. My temperature is down to about 98.7, which seems like good news, but I've had it down to normal, and seen it shoot back up. I've been taking ibuprofen for fever.

My niece Jillian has something similar right now. Mark was sick last week, but it only lasted about a day. And Mollie was also sick, but it was also for about a day. She says she still doesn't feel well, but it doesn't sound like her temperature is all over the place the way mine is.

Even though it's not comfortable watching movies, I've watched "Rent" twice (once by myself - louding & feverishly singing along - once with Mark). I also watched "Don't Tell Anyone" and "Dorian Blues". I watched the rest of Buffy Season 5 (which is so less fun when you're sick); I only have the last 4 episodes of Angel's 2nd season to watch now, but I think I'm taking a break. But I'm not sure. I keep changing my mind; I blame the fever.

I hope I feel better tomorrow. I'm scheduled on Tuesday & Wenesday. If I'm not feeling better by Tuesday I should probably see a doctor. I hate going to the doctor when I'm sick; even when I think it's bad; they always say: "You have a cold" and then send me out the door. Even when I was hospitalized that one time on an I.V. and everthing - all the tests they ran came back negative. I know I was sick because Janice was sick, but I don't think Doctor's believe that kind of shit.

It's so fricking hot in my room, but I don't know if that's just me feeling ill, or if it really is sweltering in here.

I was bummed that I didn't get to see Amber, Chris & Jamie more. I'm working on something for Jamie. Also, Jennifer was supposedly going to be in town last week, but I never heard from her. Not that I could have seen her since getting ill Thursday night. But still.

I ache.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:46 AM
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I had some toast this morning, and like the crackers, I was able to keep it down without too much effort. I figured this was a good sign. I woke up around noon with a horrible bout of diarrhea, which I hadn't experienced in days. I took some pepto & my temperature which was now 98.1? I slept some more, and Mark woke me up; he came home from work sick, feeling cold. I took my temperature again, and it's now 97.8. What the fuck? I feel like I have a cold now. I'm not coughing (much), but my throat is killing me, and there's a bit of phlegm. Mark suggested calling a nurse, but I don't feel up to talking to anyone, which is probably stupid, but I'm sick, and I'm stupid when I'm sick.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:28 PM
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I still feel crappy. I'm trying to eat, but I have a feeling I'll be seeing the food again real soon. I really thought I'd be find by Saturday night, but no such luck. I keep thinking that if I were reading a book it would help me forget that I'm ill, but I can't make up my fricking mind about what to read. I've started like 12 books since Friday, only to change my mind about what I want to read when feel like reading again; it's crazy. My throat hurts so bad now. I feel like I have a cold or something along with everything else. And I haven't shaved since Friday, which probably doesn't seem like a big deal, but I hate it. Maybe I'll work up the energy to shave later? Why does my hair grow at all? erg. I don't foresee me going to work tomorrow, but maybe I'm wrong and this horror will end tonight. (yeah, right)

Oh, & my voice is...interesting.

If I sound miserable, I mostly am. I'm not completely beaten...but I'm tired. And if these last few entries have been really disgusting or gross, just know that this is the somewhat edited version, and that things are even worse than they would seem from these entries.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:34 PM
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I shaved (mostly), and showered, which helped me feel less icky; at least on the surface. The food I forced down is coming back up. I'm trying to work on my webpage to distract myself, but I'm getting tired of distracting myself.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:40 PM
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I'm at 98.6 now, which is nice; hopefully I stay at 98.6 or thereabouts, as that's pretty normal. I haven't taken any ibuprofen since before dawn, so my temperature has naturally come to this place, which is probably very good news. Not having a fever helps things a lot, but my throat is still all kinds of clogged up; it feels like there are squirrels nesting in there, and if they are they should be paying me rent or something; that's all I'm saying.

Hopefully the throat part will clear up soon. I might just be able to go to work tomorrow after all! ;-0) I'm tempted to take some Robitussin, but I'm afraid to in the state that my stomack has been in. I don't have diarrhea, currently, but I took a huge swig of Pepto earlier, so I don't know if I'm in the clear yet, or if mr. pinky is just working overtime.

My arms & hands are a little achey, and I have very slight pain in my back, but that's nothing compared to the pain I felt only hours ago, so I'm ok with that.

I'm attempting to reread the Garak book "A Stitch In Time" again; only this time I'm reading it in chronological order instead of the way it's presented. It's neat. But I find I tire of reading very quickly lately.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:45 PM
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   Tuesday, February 28, 2006

After feeling better than I had in days, took some vitimin C with a Boost Protien drink, and some crackers. Later I slept. I woke up in pain. My temperature is currently 99.5 - why won't it just stop?

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:13 AM
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I feel better, again. I had a pop tart, and some more boost, and another vitamin c. I just took my temperature, and I'm back down to 98.2 - my throat just feels horrible though. I don't want to talk because it hurts, and feels odd. Yet I sing in the shower, and I'm ok. What's that about?

I don't know what to think about my constantly changing temperature. If it switches again then I'm going to have to go to the doctor today, or make an appointment, or if not I'll most likely go to work, with the understanding that I can't talk much. Or maybe I'll just speak quietly? I don't know. It's hard to work and not talk. erg. Hopefully the temperature thing stabilizes; that's my big worry right now.

The Garak book is good. ;-0) It's weird reading it in chronological order though.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:58 AM
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Back to being ill. And stupid too. I was supposed to work today. I knew this last night. And then I didn't. And then I did. And then I didn't. Know, that is. My brain has been fried for 5 days, and it's starting to show in more ways than just my voice sounding funny, or my shivery fits, or the newest symptom: obsession with '80's music.

Anyways, I called in after I was supposed to be there, which is never a good thing. It's not fair to the people you work with, and it stresses DJ out (which is one thing that the man does not need). But I swear that in my brain it made sense...and now it doesn't. DJ was at the bank though, and I left a message with Jeff. For the first time since I started feeling ill, I was almost grateful that my voice sounds off, because it was like my shred of proof that I was really ill and not just being an asshole.

I talked to Mark about all this online, and he said he'd been reading about fevers online and that my problems with alternating temperatures was normal, and that I should see a doctor if this persisted longer than 10 days. He also had all kinds of scary theories about the cause of my illness, which fit the facts, but aren't a sure thing by any means (thankfully). He's on his lunch now. I'm fine being on the computer for right now, but I know that in a little while my brain will switch or something and I'll not want to be sitting here.

I'll probably read more of the Garak Book later. It helps me forget that I'm basically stuck inside the condo; I'm a hostage of this fricking virus or whatever. erg.

I read Poppy's Blog, and then Kiernan's, and I learned that I'm cisgender; I like it.

I have Information Society ("What's On Your Mind"), Alphaville ("Big In Japan") & Howard Jones ("Things Can Only Get Better" & "What Is Love?") stuck in my head. There are worse things to get stuck in your head, so I'm mostly ok with that. Oh, and RENT songs too. Which is fine. Except that I start to sing without thinking about it, and then the pain kicks in, which is annoying.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:17 PM
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I'm feeling better than I've felt at anytime since Friday morning. Hopefully the fever doesn't return. I think it will stay gone this time, because the other times it went away I still felt all jittery, but this time I feel way better. My throat is still messed up, but I don't feel like I have a cold... Not sure what's going on in there; it's uncomfortable, and it's not pleasant...but it's better than I've felt in awhile, and I appreciate that.

The Garak book continues to be good; time hasn't killed it. It made me want to revisit the Garak episodes of DS9. He appeared in 40 of 176 DS9 episodes; though 4 of those appearances were an alternate universe version of the character, and another stand alone episode featured a group dillusion version of him. So the actual Garak character only developed through 35 episodes. That seems odd, because he's such a well done character. I skipped Garak's first episode, because I had a craving for "Cardassians"; his 2nd appearance. I talked an uninterested Mark into watching it with me, and it was great to see him laugh at the lines, and get into the episode. ;-0) It is a great episode. I'll probably watch "Past Prologue" (his 1st episode) & then watch "Profit & Loss" & "The Wire" sometime soon. It's great to see all these episodes while reading the book because the continuity is so perfect.

And I realize this is all a distraction from my illness, but I'm enjoying it. Ouch! My throat, every once in awhile will hurt really bad, and I'm not sure what's setting it off. I do know that after I sleep, and my throat is dry it hurts like a bitch.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:17 PM
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