Sunday, May 14, 2006

Mother's Day. I should call my mom today, because I won't have the car to visit her, but when I try to do that she's usually asleep. We'll see how that goes this year. But so far, I'm having a really good day. ;-0)

I'm reading "A Density of Souls" by Christopher Rice for the 6th time; I've read the book once a year since I first bought it. I had seen him in person once, in 1995, at a book signing for his mother's latest ("Memnoch The Devil") in Chicago 1995. I was with Paul, and I recognized Chris right away from photos that were in Anne's biography, except he was older and he was really cute. I wanted to approach him and tell him that he looked amazing, but I felt like I'd be breaking some kind of rule, and I didn't want to scare him, or piss off his mom. Years later, I heard that he'd come out, and that he was writing a book. I couldn't afford it when it was hardcover, but I scooped it up in trade paperback, and was amazed at how much I loved the story. I've read his other books since, but I've never connected with them the way I did with this one. And reading it again is like looking at an old photograph, and letting the picture stir up emotions and memories. I wish I'd said hello to him now, so that if I ever do see him again I could tell him that I met him years before, at the book signing.

I wonder if Jennifer has read this book. Maybe I could send her a copy? I've been thinking about sending her a 'care package' with cds, books, and stuff. ;-0)

My dentist appointment on Thursday was really fast; man, that guy flossed my teeth in like 10 seconds! The dentist is really funny, and he seems kind, and he wears cool shoes. The head dentist guy came in and said he's really excited about making me a bite splint, and then I got a call later saying that my insurance approved the bite splint, so I'll probably go to their office on Monday to talk about that.

I slept Thursday night, and woke up around 1am, Friday morning. I didn't sleep again until after work. Mark took the bus to work, and got caught in the rain, which sucked. He tried to contact me on my computer, to tell me that I should answer my phone - something he could have just told me when picked him up later - and screwed up the recording I was making for Carrie. I was right next to my phone anyways, but it often doesn't ring while it's recharging. Mark & I are getting along, but we've both been kind of touchy lately (not in a good way); it's like we're almost always bitchy about one thing or another, but we always apologise shortly afterwards. It's probably just stress on his part, and for me, my acid reflux has been pretty bad, and my migrains seem to be getting worse - which I'm not thrilled about.

Friday, work was mostly fun. DJ finished Angel, Thursday night. He said he cried, and that he watched it again, and that he wanted to rewatch the final Buffy episode. He started watching Firefly on his break, which I let him borrow a few months ago. He's already seen Serenity, so he's familiar with some of the story, but I think that while he found some of the pilot episode confusing, that he will soon cherish the series as a whole.

I got a message from Mollie late Thursday night, asking if I was up for some Laser Tag on Saturday, or possibly Sunday. I called her back and her brother Kenny ansered her cell phone, which I thought was odd, because if she doesn't answer I can leave her a message on her voicemail. I told him that I was up for the game if it was on Saturday but not on Sunday. I didn't hear back from her though.

I stayed in Friday night, and slept, and read. Reading a good book. Nothing beats it. Nothing. I'm very grateful for good books.

Saturday morning I woke up around 1am again. I watched some ALIAS episodes; I'm nearly halfway done with the 2nd season. Jennifer called me around 3:30am (12:30 am in Seattle) from a bar that featured several drag queens, as she bemoaned the horrors of hetero men, and got drunk with Tracy and their friend Jean. She said there were 17 empty alcohol glasses on their table divided amongst the 3 of them. Jennifer let me talk to Tracy for awhile. We talked about my recent communication with Catherine, and then somehow got on the topic of abortion protesters and how annoying they are. They were about the leave the bar so Jennifer got back on the phone; she said that Tracy had told her if she didn't stop talking to Chris that Tracy wouldn't be able to talk to her or be her friend. Jennifer told Chris she never wanted to talk to him again, and she's seeking counciling, which I suggested weeks ago. She sounded so broken. She was crying and telling me how much she wanted to hug me. On one hand I know why Tracy said this to Jennifer - I don't think Chris is a good idea right now either, but I would never give Jennifer up as a friend, no matter what she decides. erg. I'm worried about her.

Later this morning, around noon; maybe a bit after, 1pm at the latest, there was a lot of noise from the neighbors bathroom. Water and yelling and hammering. They apparently didn't know how to shut the water off, and tried to work on their pipes and stuff without switching it off - causing a flood of water. Mark went to their front door and he could see water pouring down their stairwell! Idiots. Mark is super freaked about water damage. There was some water on our Kitchen floor, and a bit of the carpet, but I don't think it hurt anything there. It's possible that inside the walls there are problems, but I'm not sure how or when we will know. So that was plenty stressful.

I later talked with Mollie, and our LTG was cancelled because she hurt her back at work (in a very painful, but extremely funny way). We talked for an hour about books, and Jennifer and Bradlee, Captain Jack Sparrow, Mark, DJ (who she really enjoyed spending time with), movies, and all sorts of other random things that made my life seem blessed. I love you Mollie. Oh, and Mollie will soon have the internet again, and she'll be able to read these things. ;-0)

Carrie said she might visit me at work tonight. I close with Heidi and Pat, which should be fun. Mark will be gone most of the day, at his Mom's house. Carrie is borrowing Justice League, Hercules & Xena dvds from me. I'll try to get the new ALIAS episodes for her as well, but everytime I try to record soemthing lately it gets fucked up. We'll see. It will still be nice to see her, regardless of all that.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:51 AM
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   Thursday, May 18, 2006

I finished "A Density of Souls" last night...again. I didn't read it everyday this week because it's a short book, and I wanted it to last. It's not a perfect book, and there are even some mistakes in it, but that somehow endears it to me even more than perfection. Is that odd?

So...I was late to work on Sunday because I'd taken some Midrin before bed to rid myself of my every increasing migrains. I know it's related to my jaw, and it's really scaring me. But I'm working on that with my dentist, and my doctor, so it doesn't help me to run around bitching about it to everyone, so I just try to keep that to a minimum. But...what if nothing helps? ;-0(

Mark didn't wake me either, and he was home from his mom's trailer; he said he thought I was awake. I wasn't sure if that was true, because he had a bit of a meltdown when he was cleaning the kitchen earlier in the day, and left my room in a huff.

When I got to work, Heidi was in the bathroom, and Joe was alone outfront. That's not unusual, where there are only 2 people there, but Heidi was in there for a long time, and Joe said that a customer had been very rude (a major CUNT from what I've been told - and you can print that!) - and Heidi ended up crying, and saying that she couldn't do this anymore. I talked to Heidi and she was still on the verge of tears. And to her credit, it wasn't just the bitch woman from hell; Heidi had been sick since Friday, and unable to keep anything down except a bit of water. So she was exhausted, and sick, and tired, and she had to call in on Saturday (which she's never had to do at any job, so that stressed her out), and she didn't want to work on Mother's Day, but she had to, and she came in early to relieve Matt who had covered her shift the day before!!! The young lady had just pushed herself beyond all reason, and then had some wench cut in line, ask a question, leave, come back, cut in line, and bitch her out for doing her best!!!! What the fuck is wrong with people!?! Heidi has cried because of rude customers before. I know what that's like; but usually I feel like walking, and then I talk to DJ, or Bryan, or anybody - I go home, and try to relax, and I talk to my friends, and they call the customer names, and in a few days I don't feel like a cloud of bitches is surrounding me. But Heidi doesn't have as much experience at this, and she's very sensitive, so it was bad. And I just hope everything works out for her.

I also felt super guilty that I wasn't there when this Bitch "Woman" attacked, because I know I could have said something or done something... I voiced this to Heidi, and she was so thoughtful, and she didn't blame me at all. She said that it would have happened again eventually, and we do work in retail, so I have no doubt that she was right. But it still sucks. Even if I was ontime, I might have missed the first sign of bitchdom, and been totally confused when the major bitch fest began. It's confusing when people are mean to you at work, because your expected to not defend yourself. I hate that.

Carrie stopped by Hollywood to visit Sunday night. I was supposed to give her some tv shows (Hercules/Xena, Justice League, JLU, & ALIAS) to watch, but I had forgotten them, which she knew because I left her a message. It was nice to see her, and she and Heidi get along so well. Joe had left at that point, but he stopped back in because he had misplaced a movie he wanted to rent, so Joe met Carrie as well. She said that she read in my blog about us (Mollie, DJ, Mark & I) playing the Buffy board game, and she was a little miffed that I hadn't invited her because she loves that game (even though she hates the show). I told her that I had considered inviting her, but that with 4 players we had the option of playing Euchre as well, and she hates that game. She said I made the right call. lol There was also the fact that DJ is supergeeked on Buffy right now, and she'd have to listen to us rave about it, and we also watched 2 episodes of the show while we played. I also thought that an advantage of having only 4 players was that with Mollie as the Master, and me as Willow (I love to play as Willow), and Mark & DJ splitting Xander, Oz & Buffy - then DJ could get to play either Buffy & Xander, or Oz & Xander - so he could experience more of the game. Plus no one really loves playing as Xander, because he sucks (much like on the series).

Monday morning I drove Mark to work, went to Hollywood to give DJ some cookies, and see how he was reacting to Heidi's letter, which she left for him. He was thoughtful, and not as stressed looking as I expected. He thanked me for stopping by (as did Heidi when I chatted with her later), and I was again struck by how grateful I am that I have a boss at work, who is more a friend, and someone I can go to when I'm in trouble, or be there for when they are in trouble, without it feeling forced. It's really great. We talked about work stuff, and how no one wants to bother him when things are sucking at work, but that he would much rather be called into work than have someone quit because things are bad. We talked about other things too, but I had errands to run, and DJ needed to run to the store to get some stuff, so we parted ways, but our meeting was nice.

I went to the dentist office next. I had gotten a call saying that my insurrance company had approved payment on a bite splint, and I wanted to see how much it was going to cost, and see what they had to say about it in general. The head dentist guy, who's name escapes me, is beyond excited about bite splints in relation to migrains, and he worked closely with my doctor to get everything just right, and he said that he sent her office flowers for her troubles. He's really funny, my dentist, with an odd sense of humor, but an obvious passion for life. They asked if I had time right then to have the bone splint casting done. I had no clue I was going to be driving Mark to work at all, let alone running all over town so I didn't have time to shave, shower, or floss. I asked if they had a toothbrush/floss set I could use while I waited, and they did. The toothpaste was already on the disposable brush, and while I was grateful for it, it tasted awful. The casting process went quickly...though it was odd. And while my insurance will pay over $400.00 of the cost, it will still be over $100.00, and will cut into my plans to have my fillings removed/replaced, and my cleaning appointment in November. There is only a certain amount of money that my insurrance will pay for Dental in one year, and I'm already cutting it close. But I think that with my migrains getting so bad, that if there is even the slightest chance this splint will help, that it should be the option that I concentrate on right now. I need to talk to the dentist and let them know what's going on, and then schedule my other appointments accordingly.

When I was leaving home to pick up Mark for work around 5:45pm, Travis Kelley, my ex-bf, ex-fiance, called me. He called to check up on me. I had left him a comment on his myspace profile. He eventually gave me the best fricking apology I've ever gotten from anyone who has screwed me over. He basically said that he regrets all that bullshit, and that he looks back now and sees that he fucked up something really amazing and appreciates all the space and time and energy I gave him when he didn't even deserve it. I really believe he was sincere, which really made me feel good. I feel like I could be friends with him now; perhaps close friends, but I'm not sure. He didn't remember a lot of the horrible things he did to me (or some of the really fun things we did), and when I told him the bad stuff he was aghast and how poorly he treated me, and when we talked about the good stuff, it was on the verge of becoming erotic. And though it made me feel bad for his current partner (of 3 & 1/2 years), it made me feel good to hear that Travis hasn't really changed all that much. He screwed up all his potential relationships after me, and he's not very nice to his boyfriend now. This only made me feel good, because boys tend to date me, screw me over hardcore, and then couple for life. Which hurts me...a lot. And guys always tell me later, that I made them a better person, and that's great, but I don't get to reap the rewards of that process. Anyways, that was an unexpected surprise, and I cherish it. I think it would be neat to meet his boyfriend Matt. I spoke to him on the phone once or twice a few years ago. We'll see how this all plays out.

I drove Mark to work on Tuesday, stopped at the store for some food. I've been addicted to chocolate chip cookies again for the last few weeks. I've been really good about not eating them for the last few years, but I'm now trying to wean myself off them. I actually remove as many of the chips as I can before baking them, so there's only 2 or 3 chips per cookie. I think it's working. But man, you should see how many chips are removed from those suckers - no wonder the chocolate from those suckers made me ill.

I arrived early for work. It wasn't dead, but it wasn't exactly busy either. It felt like the day was dragging. I rented the first 3 discs of the 2nd Season of Thundercats (I watched the first 2, and that's probably enough for now). DJ continued watching Firefly; I know he's enjoying it, but I don't think he loves it yet, but he's only watched a couple of episodes so far. Bryan told me that Robert was expelled from yet another school. I love Robert, but I don't understand what he's going through. Why get expelled from school after school, and then do everything in your power to do it again? It's sad, and it makes me uncomfortable.

I left work ontime, and talked to my sister Janice on my cell while I waited for Mark to get out of work. I guess she and Jamie aren't getting along. There are problems on both sides, and Janice knows it, and is trying to be fair... I hope they work it out. I worry about Jamie; A LOT. We aren't very close... And that worries me because I love being close with Janice, even when we are at odds with one another. We talked on the phone while Mark drove us home, and then I said goodbye. I went to sleep.

I had wednesday off and did next to nothing. I chatted on gay.com for awhile, and met this guy who begged me to fuck him bareback. He was hot, and fit into a lot of the things that I love about sex, but he didn't seem to want to get to know me at all, which I just don't understand. Why do people think I'm freaky for wanting to know them BEFORE I stick my dick in them? Plus, while barebacking is hot, it's also really dangerous, and I wouldn't even seriously consider doing that with a stranger. I thought I might hook up with some friends but I just ended up watching Thundercats, ALIAS, and then slept (for hours & hours). I guess I needed it. I kind of felt like I was fighting off a cold, which is within the realm of possability, as several customers at work the day before seemed to be coughing a lot. I feel ok now though.

I work today & tomorrow. And I'm going to watch the new ALIAS now.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:21 AM
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I feel like a should be doing a dozen different things, but I have no clue what they are. I know I'm going to remember later, when it's too late. Erg. ALIAS was ok. I'm tired again; what's up with that? I feel like I should get some writing done, but nothing is coming of that. I'd like to start a new book, but I don't know what I want to read. I should shave & stuff for work, but I have time for that later...

Sleep seems best. I don't want to be tired at work.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:02 AM
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   Saturday, May 20, 2006

I was looking over reviews for X-Men & X2, and those 2 movies, which I consider the best superhero movies of all time, for the most part, didn't get very good reviews. Even in reviews that were mostly positive, they kind of ripped on the movies for the number of special effects (which seem stupid considering the storyline), or the number of characters (which I think they've handled very well in the films). So, reading those reviews, makes me suspect that the 3rd film won't be reviewed very well. The first X-Men film is actually very short, and I now consider it an extended prologue to the 2nd film. And the 1st film doesn't seem that remarkable, until you take into account that it inroduced the whole world of the X-Men without seeming stupid! But that's pretty much all it does. The 2nd film is fantastic! I'll be seeing the 3rd film a week from Tuesday; most likely with DJ & Mollie. I hope it's good.

I started reading the first of the Star Trek "A Time To..." books. This series of 9 books, sets up the unexplained character developments that ran rampant through the 10th trek film; allowing those moments resonate instead of annoy. So far I like the first book; it's not great, but it's not horrible; it's like an average Next Gen episode in that way. I've read fan comments that say the series gets a lot better as it goes, so that's something to look forward to. I've also heard in recent days that the crew of Star Trek: Enterprise appear in one of the upcoming books, so I'm excited about that. Reading this book is part of my new plan to constantly be reading; I used to read like that all the time, and somewhere along the way I stopped; hopefully I can get back on track.

I didn't go back to bed after my last entry. I've been sleeping at night, usually early evening, and waking between 3 & 5am. It's an odd schedule, but I kind of like it. Work was fun on Thursday; I worked with Bryan & Nate - and later Heidi & Andrea which was so much fun! And we had an amazing assortment of upbeat, funny, thoughtful customers!!! It was fabulous. And District Manager Gloria called to tell us what a fabulous job we were doing.

Mollie now has the internet again, and opened her own myspace account, which pleases me. It's easier to stay in touch with Mollie when she's online. We have really great cell phone plans that help us out, but sometimes we just end up playing phone tag. When we have access to each other's blogs we can see why we're having trouble communicating, and that's great.

Supposedly I might be hanging out with Elvis & Tracy #4 today, but I haven't heard back from Elvis, so probably not. That's just as well, because Mark has a bunch of errands to run today.

ALIAS ends on Wednesday. Desperate Housewives season finale is on Sunday night. JLU ended weeks ago. Nip/Tuck, and The L Word won't be back for like a year.

I was reading this article about gay characters on tv shows, and I watch almost all of them; I always assumed there were more, but apparently not. Also, this season will be the first network television season with no lesbian/bisexual female character on any tv shows (or none worth mentioning) since Ellen came out 10 years ago. That sucks. Also, Paula Marshal played a lesbian character on some show last season that wasn't picked up for another season. I've only seen Paula Marshall in 2 things; the first being Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth - and she made me enjoy that movie more than anything else in the film. I know she was in Warlock 2, but I didn't love the first one, so I never saw the 2nd. She was in a wacky Werewolf movie called Total Eclipse(?); at least I think that's what it was called. Anyways, I like her. And there's a picture of her in the article, and she still looks fantastic. I guess I could just look her up on IMDB, and then I'd know what all she's been up to. Yep, there she is. Full Eclipse was the name of that movie. She's been in a lot of stuff. hmmm.

Anyways. I'm gonna get some reading done, or something. Anything to get away from this dread machine. (Oh, Giles...)

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:26 AM
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