Sunday, June 25, 2006

I got enough sleep on Saturday, before getting up, eating, getting ready, and going to take pictures with Mark, Jeremy & KIM (she being the most important person there). My stomach had been fine on Thursday & Friday, but I was worried that it might be messed up again, only it wasn't, which made everything 10 times better. Hanging out with Kim was a blast! She's had some really hard times lately, and this was more fun for her, than she's had in a long while, and she was just glowing! It was fabulous. We got what we hope will be some amazing pictures of her, but we won't know until their developed; then comes the painfully boring scanning process, of which I've done far too much of lately. But it's for a good cause.

Jeremy had to leave us early because he had games night at WRAP, plus some training to do. We were going to meet up later, which I was all kinds of happy about, but we wanted to take full advantage of the sunlight while we still had it, so we did, and we cut it really close. After we dropped off Kim, who was just so happy that it almost broke my heart, I got a call from Jeremy saying that it looked like it was just going to be us (Mark, Jeremy, Kim & I). Kim had to go home and let her dog out, but was going to call us to let us know if she could return and hang out with us... Mark drove us the block to the WRAP building, but I was still on the phone with Jeremy and could hear someone enter the building...Jeremy said: "Hello Danny.". And that pretty much killed all of our plans.

I was beyond disappointed. I almost cried. It was just really frustrating to be that close and then have to walk away. Jeremy said I should come over and say hi as Danny was in the basement, and we chatted briefly. It really only made it worse, except for when Jeremy expressed his annoyance; which made me feel slightly better. And I don't dislike Danny; I don't! And I know it will take time for all this strangeness to be less strange... But in my head I was thinking that he'd had Jeremy all fricking week! I enjoy being close to Jeremy, but not being able to touch him, kind of drives me insane. So...I was disappointed, and less than happy. And we left.

I dropped Mark off at Taco Hell, then went to Hollywood to return our DVDs and rent Ultraviolet, which Mark wanted to watch. Then I went to Kroger as we were out of water, and I got a Star Wars Insider magazine. Then I picked up Mark and we headed home. I ended up working on my webpage quite a bit. Not just on things that you can see when you go there, but also preperations for updates later in the year, which I'm really excited about, but the whole process of working to get there is really dull. I'm trying to make the Friends & Family section as interesting and developed as possible. It's now the Family & Relatives section, as my friends are my family more than my relatives are. It should be really cool when I'm done.

I worked on the webpage until about 6am, then went to sleep. I slept for 8 hours again, which was wonderful. I showed Mark the updates on my site, then noticed I had voicemail from Chad. I gave him a call to let him know that I probably wouldn't be over to his house before work, but that I'd like it if he visited me. He told me he sent me a text message last night (note to those reading this - don't send me text messages - I won't get them! lol). He told me about the message which was really adorable. He had also been to my webpage and read what I wrote about him in my blog, which took some effort I'm sure, since he doesn't have the internet at his house. He also asked Redcloud about me, and Redcloud said that had meant to introduce us as he thought we'd get along. Nice. I told Chad about Jeremy, and my recent dating adventures, and what I was looking for and all of that, and he said he'd stop by Hollywood tonight, and possibly rent "Batman Beyond - Return of the Joker: The Original Uncut Version", which I had talked to him about. If he's reads this later he should check out my DCAU page, which as links to even more info. I'm looking forward to seeing him. Our conversation was fun, and honest, and it was all good.

During our conversation, Mollie called me, and I lost Chad, who later called back. But what Mollie told me was that she used this Hair Gleam stuff, along with some hair remover cream (elsewhere) and she's now in horrible pain from head to tow. She was crying, and it was so sad! I just called her crying about stuff the other day, so this what friends do for each other, and I'm glad she called me ;-0) She cancelled our plans for tomorrow, which is so very understandable and then had to go. It was just...it really sucks, and I wish there was something I could do for her.

So I'm taking Jeremy (and not Mollie) to see a bunch of my relatives tomorrow. Hopefully it all goes smoothly, and I'll get to see my family, and Jeremy will get to see a mini-tour of my life. I like sharing info like this with him. I think he'll get a lot of stuff that others might not. We'll see.

So, now I've eaten, and talked to people, and updated my blog. I'm going to chill out, probably stroke off (as I haven't done that in far too long) and then shower & shave & stuff so I can be on time for work. Sounds good.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:57 PM
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   Monday, June 26, 2006

I was on time for work, and it was kind of busy for a Sunday night. I worked with Nate, Kyle & Andrea, while Tara (who used to work with us) stopped by for a visit. I got a picture taken with Tara, and another one with Nate & Andrea (taken by Chad, who visited me at Hollywood just as he said he would). Chad opened an account and rented Batman Beyond & Underwold: Evolution. He also told me I could call him anytime this week after 5pm. He actually came back into the store after leaving to tell me that part. The night seemed to drag in some places, while going by very quickly in others.

I got out fairly quickly, and realized that I hadn't given Chad the cd I made for him before work, so I gave him a call, and drove over to his apartment. I was only there for about 10 minutes, but he got his cd, I got to see his place, and I got a really good hug goodbye. He has a lot of Star Wars stuff, and is apparently a big fan, though he hasn't read any of the books; he doesn't read much. I commented on some of the stuff in his place, and several of the things weren't his, but his ex-bf, who was his boyfriend only a few weeks ago. That's a bit iffy, but not too worrysome.

After heading home, I had a snack, and actually went to sleep. I slept until a little after 3am. I got up to find Mark sleeping on the couch with the dog. I finished burning that last batch of pix to cds (took forever) and then saving the resized jpgs for my webpage, before deleting the full sized psds from my computer, which also took forever. I only finished a few minutes ago.

Mark is getting ready for work; he's taking the bus so I can have the car. I need to get ready, call Jeremy and get this show on the road...or something like that. I'll probably be really tired later. I should also have most of Kim's photos developed later, which means the slow, annoying scanning process can begin. I'll most likely have the rest of her pix developed later in the week, possilby tomorrow - as some of her pix are on the roll that currently resides within my camera.

Gotta get moving.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:11 AM
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   Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Yesterday was mostly great, despite my being really exhausted later in the day, and my stomach rebelling against said lack of sleep. I dropped off the film for Kim, and went to a flower shop to get flowers for Grandma & Janice, but the flowers were hideous! I finally saw some pretty flowers peeking around a corner...and they turned out to be fake. lol.

I picked up Jeremy from his house, which was cool, because I got to take the tour (cats & all). It was all good. There was Jeremy kissage. And he showed me his garden, and the fence that he & Danny have been working on... It was all so cute! So, I took him to my Grandmother's house, with converation, and neck rubbing (thank you), and I gave a little tour of my life. Things like homes where relatives live/lived, my old church, the first spot a made out with a boy, the farm, places I used to screw around with my cousins; that kind of stuff. I introduced him to my Grandma & Grandpa, my sister Janice, and her kids: Justin (who is 12 and getting so big), Jordan, Jillian, and Jonathan...and Janice's niece Brooke.

I think we had a great time. There was singing, and a recording of me singing (my Grandma is evil!)... There was a trip to the Little Caesars in Saline (my first job). There were family pictures, and stories, and he got to see the horror that is my mother's house. And it was great to share all that with him, because he's shared a lot with me. We have this whole give & take that I find very satisfying.

Eventually Janice and the kids had to head out. Jeremy & I stayed and chatted with Grandma some more, before I headed back to Jeremy's house. The idea was that he'd get his car, and we'd head back to my condo to try to get some sleep, as I was obviously exhausted, and he needed to be in A2 later for WRAP anyways. But the idea of me trying to sleep in bed with Jeremy when we haven't had a chance to really touch each other in something like 10 days had me pointing out that even in my exhausted state I'd probably get very little sleep in such a scenario. And my stomach was troubling me...so I figured alone time and rest was the order of the day (as did Jeremy).

Except, Jeremy dropped this bomb of a statement that got me out of the car, and into his house, and all over him. I was still a little worried about my stomach being unhappy, but that quickly faded as I was happily distracted; Jeremy is the devil! I'll spare you the TMI details, and just say that stuff happened that I had thought might never happen, and we were both very pleased by this development. Roar.

I headed home shortly after that, all glowy...even though my shirt now had evil cat fur on it, and I was even more tired. When I got home I showered, and got dressed to pick up the film and Mark, but had a little time to spare. I was coughing a lot, which I sometimes do because of the acid problems, but it was getting worse, and I think it had a lot to do with being around multiple cats all day, as I'm quite allergic. I took some cough suppressant, which made me even more sleepy, and actually fell asleep sitting in our massage chair.

I woke up about 15 minutes later, realized I needed to leave ASAP to get the pictures. I also stopped at Hollywood Video to get my schedule, because I couldn't remember what days I have off this week. I have Wednesday, Thursday & Saturday off. I work today & Friday. Sounds good. I picked up Mark, and we looked at the pictures, which we're happy with, though we want to see the ones that are still in my camera (I need to finish that roll off); I'll start scanning them soon enough.

When we got home I went straight to my room and went to sleep for 3 hours. I woke up, called Kim to give her an update (on her voicemail/answering machine), and then called Chad, as I'd talked about calling him after 5pm at sometime, and it was now nearly 10pm. We chatted for awhile, and we might hang out later in the week. I read my e-mail, and the news, and then ate, while watching JLU. And then I wrote this.

I may scan some pictures before going back to bed, or I may put that off until tomorrow night. I don't know yet. I'm playing it by ear.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:43 AM
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I did end up scanning some of the pictures, but I stopped as soon as I got tired, instead of pushing on as I usually do. I slept from around 5am to 11:30am. I have to be at work at 1pm. My stomach feels weird, but when doesn't it? Mark is here because we're getting free digital cable and the guys are supposed to come here to install it, and I was going to be asleep. That's really all the news I have. I'll work today, and scan more pictures after work & rest. That's my plan anyways.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:54 AM
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   Wednesday, June 28, 2006

I was late for work on Tuesday. My stomach was doing something; I still don't know what, but I wanted to make sure I was good before going to work, and everything eventually calmed down. Jeremy called me from Encore (with Kim in the background) - telling me that Kim wanted him to call and ask about the pictures! lol. I would have loved to talk to them both more, but I had to get to work, fast. Work was slow, but fun, with Bryan, Bill, Joe & Jeff. I started the 3rd Season of Smallville on my break, and was happy to see that it was an improvement over the semi-lame 2nd season finale. I rented the first 3 discs of season 3 before picking up Mark.

On the way to pick up Mark there was a phone call that I didn't answer because my cell was in the bottom of my bag. When I got to Mark's work I checked my voicemail, and I had 7 messages. Apparently when I was in Milan on Monday, and out of range, I'd gotten several messages, and then another one just now. Some of them were from Carrie, who had sent me some e-mail messages wondering why we haven't talked lately, but I wasn't mad at her; just tired when I got the e-mails. I called and left her a message letting her know things were cool. The call I missed while driving was from Chad, who had seen me turning on to Liberty! It's weird, because when I was turning onto Liberty, my friend James was crossing the street, and I was trying to get his attention, but he didn't see me; while at the exact same time, someone else had spotted me and I didn't see them. lol I called him back but got his voicemail, and left him a message.

Mark needed to go to Meijer. We're over budget. I didn't even get any budget money this week, as I "owed" Mark $250.00, and gave him $100.00. This is money that I never would have needed to pay, if I owned my own car. Oh wait, I do. Only I don't. It's in title only. Something Mark assured me wasn't true, until push came to shove. But enough about that; I don't like to think about it as it just pisses me off, and makes me grumpy. But obviously it still bothers me; maybe I need to write another poem. lol

When we got home, I scanned some more pictures until I was tired (around 10pm), then slept until 3am. I scanned more pictures, but started posting them as I finished different locations. I'm actually really proud of the way I handled all this work; I felt very organized. I did finish the page and the cd for Kim, but only after about 15 hours of mind numbingly tedious work. I was happy with the results, but exhausted from the effort. You can see the finished (for now) page here; what a difference a week makes. I tried to go to sleep, but the damned Heidi dog wouldn't allow it. It sucked. But I got my 2nd wind, and decided to head to Encore; thinking that Mark would be getting Heidi on his lunch, and I'd have a quiet bed to return to when I got home.

I walked to Encore, which was fun, and it was so gratifying to hear the joy in Kim's voice as she talked about finally finding pieces of herself to love, that have been absent from her for so long! That made all the hours, and cash worth it; that and getting to know her at all made it all worth while. She had seen some of the pix that I had posted, and Jeremy had printed up the others for her (awwww!). Jeremy eventually came to the front of the store, and this was the first I'd seen of him since driving away from his house on Monday, and the sparkage was overwhelming. He had this wicked smile, and this glow, and I know I was smiling, and Kim made some comment about all this, but then I was hugging him so hard that it just kind of drowned everything else out.

I eventually walked Jeremy over to WRAP where there was a little kissing and a lot of talking and looking and other wonderful things. Sam White showed up later, but Jeremy had forgotten the strangeness of this moment. We went to the basement, Jeremy & I...and I retold him that I had gone out with Sam back in January, but that he'd gotten a little weird afterwards & I had to call it quits. We had a really good date, with some great conversation, and some nice kissing at the end...I even wrote him a poem, but before we could go out a 2nd time he started going on about how I was his boyfriend (after 1 date), and that September was going to be a great month for us; it just creeped me out.

I pulled up a chair and there was still more conversation. I love hanging out with Jeremy. We have a lot in commmon, and there are parts of our lives that we talk about that usually freak people out, but we don't get freaked about it because we've both experienced it; it's really refreshing. I love hearing about his past, and his present. And this may sound weird, but I like to hear about Danny; how they met and happy times. Today I learned that Danny doesn't like to be called Dan, and that Jeremy doesn't like to be called Jerry. lol.

Oh, and I let Jeremy borrow the first 2 seasons of DS9. He asked me if this was a show that I wanted him to watch with me, and I actually thought it would be cool if he watched it on his own, or with Danny, as Danny is a huge Trek fan. There are 2 episodes that I had once mentioned wanting to see with him ("The Visitor" & "Rejoined") but if he's going to start from the beginning, there isn't as much of a point to that. I had wanted to see those with him, so he could see how amazing the show is. I could still watch those with him later. If he likes the show, that's great, and if he doesn't, it's not a big deal. But either way, there are some fantastic episodes that I hope he gets to see. First season episodes I love include "Emissary, Parts I & II", "Dax", "Progress", "Duet" (an all time favorite of mine), & "In The Hands of the Prophets". "Past Prologue" is also fun with Lursa & B'Etor, and the introduction of Garak! ;-0) Ok, I'll stop rambling about Trek now.

So it was a little after 3pm, and Jeremy had a client at 3:30pm. I was getting hungry, and the thought of walking back to the condo was less appealing than it had been earlier, and I asked Jeremy if he would mind giving me a ride home. He didn't mind, and after getting to the condo, and calming down Heidi (who was still at the condo), and both of us using the bathroom, there was more kissing / wanting / lusting / kissing. lol I really, really wanted him to stay, but I knew he had to go.

I tried to sleep (again) after he left; fearing that eating would result in major acid, having not slept. Heidi again refused to allow this. I was beyond annoyed. Mark eventually arrived home, around 7pm; walked the dog, and took care of her. I got a message from Kim asking for help getting her pix off the disc I gave her. I let Mark handle this, but she'd figured it out on her own. We both got to talk to her, and we both got to express how happy we were that she was happy.

Mark called work and he's taking the dog in with him tomorrow. I have a dentist appointment at 9am. It will probably be a longer appointment than I'm used to; they're replacing two of my fillings; this will be my last dentist appointment of the year, save a possible cleaning in November. I can't eat before going or my acid will suck beyond the telling of it. But at least I know I'll be able to sleep afterwards. It would be nice if I could Jeremy too, though I don't know if that's possible.

I got a myspace message from Jason Brooks; an old friend of mine. He wants to hang out sometime soon, which sounds like a lot of fun. I hope we can work that out. I'm also still trying to find the time to see Catherine and her family. So much to do!!! Hopefully everything works out with everybody.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:36 PM
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   Friday, June 30, 2006

As I'm typing this, my neighbors have been fucking, and then talking really loudly, and then apparently fucking again, and there are still noises coming from there, and I've no clue what they're doing now. These guys pound on my wall, when I'm watching tv, with it turned down so low that I can't make out what's being said without the subtitles on, but they've never pounded while I was fucking, so I cut them some slack. Plus they usually fuck in the morning, when I really don't care, and it's not really bothersome sound - but they were really banging the wall tonight. ;-0)

My dentist appointment was so strange. I was worried that my stomach would be all messed up, but it wasn't bad. I had eaten around 4am, to try to fend off hunger before going, which seemed to work. But I thought I was having some of my fillings replaced, when in fact I was having a cavity filled. Now, my dentist is kind of odd; friendly odd, but on this morning he just seemed really out of it. Not in a dangerous way, but he seemed...kind of lost. I asked about it, and he must have heard me because he later told me that if he seemed out of it, his wife wasn't sleeping, and they were buying a house, and also, someone wasn't at the office that was supposed to be, and so things were really hectic. I tried to get him to relax a bit... They left me sitting while they did something else, for about 40 minutes. That's very odd, as I'm usually taken care of right away. And I was actually at the office early & I got in about 15 minutes after I was scheduled, when they usually just take me early.

Then the weirdness continued. They couldn't get my mouth numb for the procedure. I discovered this when they started drilling and I could really feel it. That happened again after another shot. And later, after another. They gave me at least 4, possibly 5. When I drove home my whole face was numb; a sensation I'd never felt before. I watched a Smallville episode and went to sleep, which was great! To actually be able to sleep when I'm tired is an experience that I've been deprived of since Heidi the dog invaded my life.

When I woke later, from a dream about Jeremy & Danny...mostly about Danny, which was weird, I was energized; excited about some new projects, and really, really hungry. My face was still slightly numb though it had been hours since my appointment. I knew not to eat while my face was numb, as I could bite my tongue or lips or cheek, and not feel it - so I hadn't eaten since 4am. I remembered that Jeremy had said he'd call me, so I beat him to the punch and left him a message asking if he would like to go to Red Robin after work with Mollie, Mark and I. Then I called Mollie and left her a message. Then I called Mark, but had to let him go as Mollie returned my call, and she & I traded horror stories about dentists, which made me laugh a lot. Mollie still isn't up to going out, poor girl, but she said she was about to take a bath, read a book, and watch Breakfast On Pluto. Jeremy later called me back and was up for food, so I picked up Mark from work, we dropped off the dog, and then met Jeremy at Red Robin.

Mark & I actually arrived at Red Robin about 20 minutes before Jeremy (thanks to a really slow driver he was stuck behind), and I ordered my food before he arrived because I'd been hungry for hours. Mark waited for Jeremy, and we had fun hanging out. I like that Jeremy & Mark get along so well, and they apparently like it too. We talked about stuff. Jeremy has been going by Jeremy since going off to school in 95. He was dating Danny before his mom found out he was gay by searching through his planner - and her parental methods are so twisted that I could kill her...with my hands...um...that's not a confession. lol (She's a manipulative bitch, in case you didn't catch that). Danny called during the dinner, or just after it, and I sent out an invitation for him to join us - I actually considered inviting him earlier, but didn't; he declined but said thanks. He had plans to help his friend Mark move out of the gay frat, I think it was? This whole scenario is so unusual that I don't know if it's normal to worry about Danny like I do...but I do. I just want everybody to be ok, but I can't really control that, so it strikes me as really stupid. lol

After food and conversation we walked over to Pier 1, which was way lamer than we expected, but thanks to our mutual companionship, it was mostly fun. We then went to Pet Co., with Jeremy driving, as Mark wanted to get Heidi supplies. Jeremy talked about not being an animal person, which was nice to hear, as when I usually say things like that, people look at me like I'm evil. We spent a disturbing amount of time looking at, and discussing special bags to carry dog shit. It was all too wrong. When we left, Jeremy knew one of the cashieres; a cute, very young looking girl. And Jeremy gave Mark a quarter for a gum ball; he got pink, which is apparently his favorite.

We put the pet stuff in the car, then walked over to Borders where Jeremy got a book, and I finally got the 4th Harry Potter movie. Colleen was there. She seemed deeply afraid of me, which made me not insult her, as I was laughing too much. Jeremy has read a lot of Terry Brooks; some Andrea Norton, and Mary Zimmerman Bradley. These are random things that probably nobody cares about but me. lol

On the way back to the car, Jeremy said that he & Danny had watched the pilot episode of DS9 the night before (Emissary, Parts I & II), and that they'd be watching the next episode tonight. I told him that the Duras sisters were in that episode, and that it introduces Garak; Mollie's favorite character. I hope he actually enjoys the show. The first season is...well, a first season, and Trek shows tend to not be that great at first. Though the 20 episode season does have some winners, and I hope he makes it to "Duet", as that's a shining example of great DS9, and great Trek, period.

I gave Jeremy a kiss goodbye. Don't know when I'll see him again. He can't stop by to see me at work today as he'll still be at work. Too bad, because that would be nice. I'm enjoying him quite a lot. The drive home was quiet; I was actually tired. I slept when I got home, and woke up around 2am, just before the neighbors started their percussive bang-a-thon, which has since quieted to slight random movements, and I assume, some post-orgasmic yawns. I drank some herbal tea with my prilosec, and wrote this.

I work today. I'm going to return disc 1 of Smallville, Season 3, and rent Basic Instinct 2. I'm not kidding, but it's ok if you laughed. lol I have no plans tonight or tomorrow, which I have off. I probably close on Sunday. I may or may not have the 4th off; if I do, I have plans with Carrie & company, which Jeremy was invited to, but I'm pretty sure he's got plans; he's gotta work on his fence. I may eat something soon. I have no idea what I'm going to do now. I might jack off, as I haven't done that in days, again; what's up with that? Perhaps it's because with the J man around I haven't felt the need to spend time with the porn chronicles. Or it could just be some very random thing.

I haven't heard back from Chad, who Mark thinks I should go out with. I haven't spoken to Frank. Tracy never called me back, which I expected, as he was wasted when he told me he would... And Jennifer, who called me around 3pm yesterday & let me go as I was sleeping, never called me back, though she said that she would, which, sadly, I also kind of expected. I need to get in touch with her, and Catherine, and Jason Brooks. I need to stay connected.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:46 AM
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I think I just realized something about myself; about my memory. I remember things very clearly; things that people tell me; things that people probably shouldn't remember... But I don't remember things like that when I'm at ease with someone. If I'm comfortable with someone, then this "muscle" I've developed relaxes a bit, because I don't have to be the memory for the two of us. I don't have to remember everything; don't have to be the repository for all that remains of these people like I was for the hospital children. That's when my memory really started getting scary. So when I first meet people, I remember every detail that falls from their lips, afraid that they'll leave and what they shared with me will be lost... And later, when I feel they probably aren't going anywhere soon...the muscle relaxes and I forget all kinds of things, which would have been horrific to me years ago, but now strikes me as being kind of wonderful. Wow.

I don't know where that came from, but I hope I remember it. lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:05 AM
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