Sunday, July 16, 2006

Jeremy called me around a quarter after 7pm (Saturday night) to let me know he was still working at the salon, dying his friend's hair black & pink! He said that after they were done, she was taking him to the Aut Bar for a drink, but that he'd come over after that. Well, I was still cleaning my room and going through old photos and stuff, so I figured I could wait that long with no problem. My stomach was really upset, and I thought it might have something to do with being nervous about seeing him again. His visit to Hollywood the day before had been oddly tense, and I was worried that things would be different between us to the point of not being worth it anymore.

Nearly 3 hours later, Jeremy hadn't arrived and I decided I would go up to the bar and get him myself. I got dressed, went to the door and opened it to find Jeremy standing there - and all the tension was gone. All of it. We talked, and talked, and talked some more, and cuddled, and talked. It was fantastic. It was just like it had been before. We talked about all the things that we couldn't talk about in the 2 weeks since we broke up.

He told me he had been crushed. That he almost cried at work a couple of times, and he NEVER does that. That made me feel good. lol I showed him some of the stuff I'm working on for his cd, and he really liked it, which also made me feel great. He told me again that he doesn't use the word love, and that he doesn't believe it, and I told him I'd convince him, but he said that Danny has been trying for years. He later told me he had seen that I was falling for him (everyone could) - but I pointed out that if he could see that I was falling in love with him, then why couldn't he believe that I loved him. ;-0) And I pointed out that Seth had told me that he loved me. When I asked him about the other boys he has sex with, he told me that it wasn't like this, and that there was 1 guy that might be different from the others too (someone he's been flirting with lately, who's younger than him), but that it still wouldn't be what we had, and when I asked him why it wouldn't be the same, he almost seemed to want to use the L word, but of course he changed the subject. lol

After lots of serious talk, we were going to do the actual recording, but while he was trying to distract me from certain conversations, we ended up fucking. It was really hot! Really safe, and really great. And I loved every second of it. Afterwards, we took a shower, and got the recording done, and he said goodbye at nearly 2am. I came upstairs and started writing this, and he called me around 2:18am, to tell me that he'd heard a song on the radio that really struck a chord with him; something that could be used on his cd. I've never really collaborated with someone on a cd for them in this fashion, and it's actually a great way to work. The tension of wondering what they will think of the cd is lessened, and I get all this positive feedback, and thanks throughout the process instead of just one big burst at the end.

I should get dressed and go get some groceries. Maybe relax and watch Smallville, or maybe work on the cd some more. I won't be seeing Jeremy for at least a week; he's leaving for up North today, and won't be back until Sunday the 23rd. Erg. I want this friendship to last.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:31 AM
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I went to Kroger after the last entry. I felt like eating things that I don't eat that often, and shopped accordingly. I had some strawberries when I got home. Then I had bread and soup. I slept fairly well. I woke up around 2pm, when the voicemail went off on my phone. Jennifer is driving home from Washington; she's in Montana, but seldom has a signal. I got up, and ate an apple while I talked to Mark about stuff, and then got some cranberry juice, before leaving Jennifer a message.

I feel good today, so far.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:54 PM
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   Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Work was really busy Sunday night, and I was exhausted afterwards. Monday, I mostly just relaxed and slept, which was great. I also rewatched the Underworld movies, so I could get some of the backstory down for Bryan. I talked to my cousin Joy, and both of my sisters on the phone. I ate some more random things that I don't eat that often (this is fun) - bacon. I also snacked on some Mini Rainbow Marshmallows; I used to like those when I was a kid, and they really haven't changed. lol

Our power flickered out as I was getting ready for Necto & I lost some of the Underworld info, which sucks. But at least the power came back on. I shaved my head, but not my face. I think the facial hair looks really cool, but it makes me look more butch, which I don't FEEL at all. lol The parking lot lights were out, as were all the lights on Pontiac Trail. Some of the traffic lights were out downtown. Everything downtown is geared towards Art Fair; blah. It can't end fast enough.

I had a blast at Necto. I mostly danced with this girl Rachel, who met me once before. She & DJ Jinx (Dan) used to be an item, and might be in the future; she's really cool. After the bar (at which I got zero pictures), it was raining and Sam White is just standing outside the bar, which was kind of creepy. Rachel's car was parked right across the street from mine, and I climbed into her car and we talked about all kinds of stuff. I had to cut it short around 3am, as that's when our cars were parked where they shouldn't be - plus I was super hungry.

When I got home, I ate a hotdog, on a bun. That probably doesn't sound all that exciting, but I've never had a hotdog on a bun before! It was good. I also had some baked Doritos, which don't really taste anything like regular Doritos. I want to eat some more stuff, but I'm afraid to push it. I should take a shower. I think I might get some reading done.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:22 AM
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   Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I watched Ultraviolet last night before going to bed around 7am. Mark asked if I could drive him to work around 9am, but I begged off that, and I drove him to work on my way to Hollywood, around 12:30pm. Work was slow. I worked with Bryan, Bobby, Bill, & Jeff. Matt & Nate stopped by briefly; they were going to a baseball game. I was going to request some days off of work next week, which is common, as DJ seldom has the schedule done until Friday, but DJ's on vacation, and the schedule was already finished. Tuesday I have a doctor's appointment, so I need that off. Wednesday I may be going to Cedar Point. Thursday is Jeremy's birthday (though I have no clue if I'd actually get to see him that day). Well, I was scheduled off for Thursday, and I got Jeff to cover Wednesday, but I still need to see if I can get someone to cover me on Tuesday; I'm hoping I can switch with someone on Monday. I'm not really that worried about it though.

Jennifer called me on my break. She was driving through North Dakota. Her phone is about to be shut off. The job she had set up here fell through. She's broke; in some serious debt, and the ride she's driving doesn't have any insurance. She doesn't have any more gas money than what she has on her either, so she might not even make it to Michigan, though she has a house all her own in Dearborn. I love her, and I'm worried about her, but soon I won't be able to get in touch with her. :-0(

I was on time for work, but I forgot to punch in. Bryan mostly fixed that, and I left on time. Before Bryan left, I went out and chatted with Di, who was his ride. After work, I went to Meijer to pick up some stuff I needed and I called Mark to see if he needed anything, and he wanted some insect killer. I couldn't find what he wanted, but being in that aisle so long made me not feel well, and I left the store empty handed. Mark & I went to McDonald's. He paid, but I drove. Mark can't drive with his foot all fucked up. We went home after that & I went to bed. My neighbors have got a new bed, or pillow, or headboard, or position, and their fucking is louder than it's ever been before; they woke me up again. Maybe they've just heard me and Jeremy going at it, and just feel no need to restrain themselves anymore? lol

I went to the Aut Bar around 1am, but it was beyond dead. I came home, but then remembered I didn't get what I needed from Meijer so I went to Kroger, but they had just closed for a 6 hour period to do something to the floors. Mollie hasn't answered her phone in like 24 hours. Jennifer & I are about to lose contact for Joss knows how long... Jeremy's out of town. I e-mailed Kim, but I haven't heard back from her. I'm not really having a great night. Hopefully that will change. I'm going to sleep some more, then maybe eat, and do some webpage based stuff. I've been lagging on that.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:53 AM
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I couldn't get to sleep last night. I did get some webpage stuff done. 4 new poems, with art, plus I gave my friend Andrea her own page, and reworked the Hollywood People altogether. It still has a long way to go, but I like it a lot more. I'm super tired, and cranky, but I have to get my medical stuff filled out before I head to the doctor. The appointment is at 2pm, but I need to be there 15 minutes early. It's near Briarwood Mall, and I just know traffic is going to suck because of Art Fair. I just want to go to sleep, but I've been waiting for this appointment for like a month!

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:57 AM
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My appointment was like a nightmare. I arrived 15 minutes early, as instructed. But the woman at the desk said my appointment had been moved to this coming Monday!?! Lucky for me, I'd brought everything they'd sent me concerning the appointment, including 2 reminders they'd sent me; one of them even had this date highlited in yellow marker. They said it kind of worked out because they had a cancellation, and took me to a room where I waited for a half an hour. Since I hadn't slept, my acid reflux was bad, which was ok since that's why I was there. I was also getting a migrain, but I didn't want to take my meds before seeing the doctor or I wouldn't be able to drive home.

When the doctor came in, I was already a bit grouchy from lack of sleep, and the crap about the change in appointment. The doctor was looking at X-Rays, which I didn't understand, since I haven't had any X-Rays taken in Joss knows how long. Then he said he had another patient he needed to see, and if I minded. I told him that I kind of did; that I was getting a migrain, and that I'd already been kept waiting 45 minutes. The Doctor, who is new there, said he'd check to see what the staff said about seeing patients out of order. I didn't understand this, since I had been ontime and had proven to them that my appointment hadn't bee rescheduled, while this person was there after me. He must have seen the other patient, because it was after 3pm when he finally got back to me.

He seemed to be in a rush to leave. I had to jump into his closing statements a few times. I told him about my problems with food, and he prescribed me a new medication for that. That made sense to me, as some people respond better to different meds for the same problem. I told him about how food affected my stomach; about having diarrhea really bad sometimes, while being constipated the other times - and having stomach cramps. He said I have IBS. Now I have considered this before, but he didn't do any fricking tests before he came to this conclusion; nothing. I probably do have IBS, but I want to KNOW that I do, you know? Then he proscribed me something for when I have diarrhea, and something for the cramps. He said it was kind of like men having periods, which I had often thought myself. He seemed ready for me to leave, and I had already told him about the severity of my acid reflux, so I jumped in again, and told him that it's been really bad for nearly 5 years, and I want to know what's going on inside me - is it causing damage - is it hurting me - I WANT TO KNOW. He's setting up an appointment for an Esophagogastroduodenoscopy - where they knock me out, and stick a camera down my throat into my stomack, and maybe take some biopsies. This is what I wanted, so that was cool. I want answers. If the meds he proscribed help, that's great, but I think I might get a 2nd oppion on the IBS or at least ask for some tests of some kind - I want to be sure that what's going on inside of me, is what I'm being told that it is. I want proof, and I want ideas and alternatives and the whole shebang! I've put this off for years, and I don't want the brush off now that I've finally done something about it.

After that, he said he wanted to examine me, which was odd, because don't they usually do that first? He had me lay down and listened to me breathe in 4 spots, but didn't tell me to breathe deeply or anything, then he felt my stomach for a second in like two spots (didn't even cover the whole thing) and then said he was done. I said: "That was fast." and he replied that I was a healthy man. Maybe I am, but I've got some problems here, and he figured I was healthy without asking any major questions, and without any kinds of tests. I don't trust this. He wants me to get a blood test sometime soon, to find out if I'm allergic to some kind of wheat germ? I can't even find that written anywhere. Ugh.

I took my midrin once I got to the car, and I'm super spacy now, which is actually a relief, cause my headache was fucking killing me. I have to pick up Mark at 6pm. I need to get my perscriptions filled. We need to get plastic cups, real dishes, toilet paper, listerine, bug killer, and other random stuff...

And I need to go to bed for awhile.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:11 PM
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   Thursday, July 20, 2006

I was a little late to Mark's work, getting there around 6:10pm. I called to let him know I was outside; he said he'd be out in 5. The last time I looked at the clock before he finally arrived it was 6:43. We went on some errands. We went to Meijer to get my drugs, and groceries and stuff. Kelli Parker & her dad Rusty were there. Kelli didn't talk to me, and she looked like she'd been crying; it was surreal. I took out the trash when I got home, and watched some Smallville until I finally fell asleep. I woke up a little after 2am. I ate, and read my e-mail, and the news and stuff. I changed my myspace music to Dandy Warhols ("You Were The Last High") which sounds weird without the Beach Boys playing along; it's one of those really good mashups.

I may scan some pictures, or convert some other ones. I'm not sure. I've been in a daze lately, and that's ok. Oh, they didn't have one of my drugs at Meijer so I have to go to Walgreens to get that; maybe I'll feel up to doing that later.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:34 AM
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   Friday, July 21, 2006

Work was dead on Thursday; so dead that they asked me to come in 2 hours late, and then let me go early. I finally finished taking a roll of film. I haven't felt like having pictures taken lately, but I'm trying to carry on with that, as it was this whole summer plan thing, to take tons of pictures all summer through the end of October. I really like my facial hair; a lot. But it's starting it itch, and that sucks. I went to Walgreens a few hours ago, but the drug they were supposed to have for me, was set up at the wrong location, and that one was closed. I told them I could pick it up on Saturday. Mollie was supposed to hang out with us Thursday night but cancelled, which is fine, as I slept for a couple hours when I got home from work. I rented some porn from Video Hut, which I can take back Saturday, when I get my drug, and pick up Mollie, as she's up for hanging out this weekend.

I want to sleep, and scan pictures. Maybe take some more pictures. I have 1 more roll in my camera, and another of the black & white on Mark's camera, which I'd like to have ready for developing by the end of July at the latest. Blah. I feel like I'm stoned, but I haven't taken any pills or anything; what's up with that?

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:34 AM
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