Sunday, September 17, 2006

I stayed in on Saturday. I was feeling extra fragile. I read. I watched DS9. I ate. I slept. I tried not to think about anything. I jacked off a couple of times; showered a couple of times... I just tried to relax, and for the most part, it worked. I feel a lot less frail.

I've been working on my webpage for a couple of hours now. I updated some of the Star Trek stuff, and then I created a dedication page for Kevin Clark, before updating the pages for Frank Lee & Bobby Mushroe. I'm going to get back to my book now.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:29 AM
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I slept today; I slept well. I got up, took my pills, read some more. I ate well. I didn't want to go to work hungry. I showered, and I talked to Mark, and I had started shaving and then...BAM. My stomach went into overdrive, and now I'm slowly but surely revisiting every aspect of my lunch, anew. It's really gross, and I don't want anything touching my stomach. Mark called work for me, which I hadn't expected... I'm sure this will pass, and I was looking forward to closing with Matt, as I don't get to do that very often, but it's hard to close when you're naked. blah. Hopefully I'll feel better later and can go in.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:29 PM
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   Tuesday, September 19, 2006

I didn't feel better in time to work on Sunday. Mark was really worried I think, because he didn't leave me alone for long. He distracted me with "Freddy vs. Jason" which he'd never seen before, or shown any interest in seeing... Regardless, it was appreciated, and kept the acid reflux thing from completely destroying my fun. About "Freddy vs. Jason"; I saw it in theaters with Mollie, 3 years ago. I didn't love it then, but it amused me. I rented it when it was new, to see the deleted scenes, and I tried to watch it again, but thought it was stupid. This time, after rewatching all the others in the series, I enjoyed it a lot more. It's not a great film (duh), but it works as part of the series, and it's very well directed. I still wish they had kept the original ending though.

I got some rest. Monday I talked to Jeremy on the phone. I called Carrie and wished her happy birthday. Mark, Jeremy & I were all going to her party later. I chatted on gay.com for a bit, and got hit on by some really cute guys. I ate before going to the party, because it was at TGIF's and I got food poisoning last time I was there, and wasn't ready to deal with that again, on top of being all acidy. I thought my acid had calmed down, but no. The party kind of sucked for me, because I couldn't drink, and we had this annoying waitress who asked me a dozen times if I wanted anything, even after I explained to her that it would make me vomit. Jeremy almost slapped her. Still, it was nice to see everyone, and I think Carrie had a great time, which is all that matters. And I felt better by the time the party was winding down.

Mollie & Jeremy came over afterwards, and we played Euchre. It was a lot of fun watching Jeremy & Mollie interact. I had snacks while we played, and then had more acid problems later - this SUCKS. I gave Mollie her "card"; the piece of poster board that everyone at the party signed for her. I drove Mollie & Jeremy home; I got a dvd back from Mollie that she borrowed months ago. I dropped Jeremy off at home, and I got a hug and a kiss. But I had the strange sensation, that he wasn't going to stay at home, as I was leaving. It was just an odd moment, and it probably means nothing.

I came home, though there was time for an hour of Factory Night at Necto. I'm kind of broke these days, and I need my money for food; which hurts me. Ugh. :-0( I watched Will & Grace. I slept. I felt like I had a fever, but when I got up this morning to drive Mark to work, I found that he had the air on 75. yuck. I drove Mark to work and got some groceries. I wish I could go back to sleep, but I work today.

One cool thing about last night. I met Carrie's friend Susie(?) who is also a DS9 fan, and Carrie told her how I got her some DS9 books, and Jeremy also told me that he's been watching DS9 on his own, and is actually enjoying DS9, which is cool, because that also helped him bond with Mollie, who talked to him about Garak (of course). lol

Alright - I'm at least going to read, if I can't do anything else.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:36 AM
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   Wednesday, September 20, 2006

So...this week just sucks, in my opinion. The acidy thing is getting really tired, and so am I. I've been watching the 3rd Season of DS9, and I've really gotten into it like I used to be...only when I went to watch the last disc, it wasn't there. I loaned it to a friend awhile back, and I know he returned it to me, but it looks like I never put it back in the case. I just searched through all our empty cases, and all our cd cases, which took hours. Hours that I had hoped to spend sleeping. The set is already tattered anyways. I loaned all my DS9 to Mollie for awhile, and then to Carrie. Adam lives with Carrie, and spends most of his time at Mollie's. He ruined the cases of my DS9 sets. I payed over $100.00 for each of those, and he fucking messed them up. I've never spoken to him about it, as he obviously doesn't get it. It's really annoying. Mollie was going to buy me a new set, but I told her not to bother, since the discs work, but now that one of them is missing, I'd just buy it again, as the price has been cut in half, but I'm broke. And I want to watch them, damn it!

Erg.

DJ cut my hours yesterday, with my permission. Jeremy had the day off of work too, but I didn't get to see him. I've felt OFF for the last 4 days, and I just want it to stop. Everything I plan lately falls apart. Well...most everything. And everything else just sucks already. And yet I've managed to smile now & again, and be there for my friends and stuff. Because my friends deserve it, you know?

I need to sleep. Of course that's only if my body will actually allow it...

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:08 AM
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So, my friend Ryan sent me an AIM as soon as I logged on today, and told me that he'd been thinking about me, and that he just put a song on his myspace account that reminded him of me. The song is Another World by Beborn Beton. I love that song, and I've never known who sang it...so that made my night! Thank you Ryan!

So I just reordered the 3rd Season of DS9; it's less than half the cost that I paid for it originally, and I haven't gotten my last pay check, so I should be ok. Another thing occurred to me about my tv boxed sets; the Trek ones in particular: I hate the cases for them. I'm going to buy a cd folder (maybe more than 1) like I have for my picture discs, and just load them all up in there. And I can keep the 3rd season discs I already have as back ups, because I know from experience that it sucks to be missing one disc from a collection - and then just put all the cases in storage or something, or even toss them, as they just take up space. I could do the same thing with other shows too. It's a thought.

I slept all day today. I really, REALLY needed that. I don't feel as off as I have the last few days. Still not feeling fantastic, but I feel a lot better. I'm going to take a shower, and then maybe clean up my room a bit.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:58 PM
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   Saturday, September 23, 2006

Wednesday night I did get rid of all my Star Trek dvd cases, which I don't regret at all. Thursday I cleaned. I was supposed to see Jeremy that night, but didn't. I was supposed to hang out with new friends Michael & Ben, and did so; had a good time getting to know them, which was a bright spot in a rather bleak week. I'm glad something went right...this week has sucked; it's just been one thing after another, and another...

Friday I worked with Bryan, DJ & Bobby. At least for awhile. My stomach was rebelling, and there were moments where it was terrible, and then it would pass, and I'd be fine. I decided to tough it out, as I was enjoying being at work, and seeing everybody, but on my break it got really bad, and I went home. I was supposed to go to Necto that night to see some friends, but I cancelled. Mark was having a poker game, but so many peeps cancelled that it was just Mark, Mollie & Carrie, so I joined them. I came in 2nd place, and won $5.00, though I don't really enjoy the game.

Mollie & Carrie left after the game, though it was only about 11pm. I felt a lot better, and figured I should go to the bar, as I felt like I deserved some fun. I got shaved and showered and dressed, and got to the bar around 12:30am. I saw Keevan (it was/is his birthday), Will, Garrett, James, Adam & his friends, Jeremy, Anthony, Becky, Travis, Steven, Douglas, Leon, Frank Lee & Josh Lee ;-0) Plus a bunch of other people... And while I didn't get to spend a lot of time with everyone, I did have a good time.

I talked to Steven the most. He was pretty drunk, and I was worried about him. He was talking to me about some pretty important stuff, and so I payed extra close attention to him. I saw things. I heared things. I did things. Some of it was dramatic, but not overly so, and I managed to not let anything bring me down, so it was good. Later, near closing time, Steve was freaking out about people being fake, so I took him out of the bar, got gas in the nearly empty gas tank of the car, and brought him over to the condo to show him where I live. We were still talking, which was nice, but I wished he'd been sober. Doug called him, as he was extra worried about him, because he didn't know me, and doesn't know Ann Arbor that well, so I told them we'd meet up with them sooner, rather than later. It was all good.

After the bar, I came home, and read for a bit. I read my mail, and sent some. My stomach started bothering me again, and I took a bath. The pain in my gut is the one constant in my life lately, and I'm so sick of this shit. Why haven't they let me know what's going on inside me? This is horrible. I can't stress enough how horrible I feel on a regular basis now, and I just keep trying to smile, and make it through, and... I'm getting tired fast.

I slept well today, which is one nice thing. My dreams have been oddly disturbing or erotic, or both. I've been reading today, which I've been wanting to do. I have less than 80 pages in one of my books. I'd like to get some writing done soon; I have so much to say about so many people in my life... Maybe later tonight?

We'll see...

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:42 PM
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