Sunday, November 23, 2008
I fell asleep around 9pm. I woke up at 3am from frustrating dreams...hot and sweaty. I drank some water. Took some Echinacea & Vitamin C that Mark left me. Had a snack. And read the news. Feeling a bit better now.
posted by Bald Jason at 03:12 AM
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Went back to sleep after last message. Just woke up again.
posted by Bald Jason at 07:57 AM
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I'm bored. And I don't know what to do with myself. It's like a milder case of what I felt after Sean's visit last month. I guess Mollie was right. She said she felt that way after anyone visited. She also said the secret was to have more people visit more often. I'll have to try that.
posted by Bald Jason at 08:33 AM
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I had a dream last night that I ventured down to this old tree fort that my friends and I built. Actually the history of it is more complex than that. Anyways... it got all dark and dramatic and exciting (like an adventure movie, not a porn). My whole family was involved. We found out that the twins (Robert & Ronnie) had died, and that their brother Kevin was posing as both of them in some sick mental breakdown. It was bizarre.
posted by Bald Jason at 10:32 AM
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I've got about 100 pages left in my book. Perhaps I'll finish it today. The sun is out, though it's cold. Perhaps I'll go for a walk.
Some of my pillows smell like Trevor. It's been nearly 20 hours since he arrived yesterday. Why does my mind go in circles like that?
posted by Bald Jason at 01:12 PM
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I miss my job. Whenever I used to feel conflicted about anything, and I had a shift to work, it distracted me from any problems I had, and helped me work through them. But all I really know how to do is retail. I can't stand Kmart & Wal*Mart. I've worked at Meijer and Target. I was thinking of applying at Target but that seems depressing all on it's own. I mean, I started working there in November of 1993. And here I am in November or 2008 and 15 years have passed and Target still seems like an acceptable job? Does that say something about me? Have I not accomplished anything?
I know that it isn't that simple. That nobody is the same, and everyone has to go their own way. And I've had real medical problems that have held me back...and that I'm lucky to have survived at all, considering that large numbers of my friends were dead and buried before I even had a job. It's just...frustrating me today.
I feel like a failure.
I tried to talk to Mark about this. I pointed out that the condo is his. The car is really his. Everything is really his. I don't really have anything; not really. I mean I own stuff, but what have I accomplished. Mark doesn't feel he's accomplished much, but he has 2 real jobs and I've never even had 1. The only 1 that I had that I loved involved me telling people what movies to rent. But Mark said that everything he's accomplished has been at least partially because I was there to help him, and I can believe that. I just wish I had something that was mine.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:07 PM
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I left a message for Trevor. He had mentioned that he goes out with guys all the time who then never call him. I didn't want to be one of those guys and now I'm not.
I talked to Mark about the last entry. About how frustrating things are right now. How I want to be doing stuff, but I've got this crushing weight hanging over me, which is my surgery in February. My whole life will change in February. And it just feels pointless to start something like school or a job when it could come crashing to a halt in February - I could lose all of that again and that terrifies me. Mark had some good suggestions though. I need look into working at UofM because that would rock. He also suggested we get a 2nd or 3rd opinion this surgery and the pills I'm taking. And he also suggested I volunteer at HARC or something; something to give my time meaning, until I can get back to work and school. Assuming I can ever. (see what I mean - there's always this voice in my head telling me that February is a death sentence). I need to conquer that voice somehow.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:28 PM
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Mark & I went to the bank. We went to Target, which left me with the strong impression that I never want to work there again...which oddly, helped. We went to Meijer for Boost, Hillards for water, and Kroger for other groceries. Michael Eisinger was working at Hillards, but we didn't talk to him. I just feel like he doesn't want to see me or talk to me, so why force myself on him, you know? Best to just let it go.
Mark brought the camera with us and took several shots of me sporting the beard I grew out for Trevor. I'm doing laundry now and shaving off the beard after I write this. Then later I'll get some pictures of what I look like after the shave.
I bought some books at Kroger. I finally gave into the 'peer pressure' and bought 'Twilight'. I also got what I thought was a standalone novel from Laurel K. Hamilton (having remembered that both Mollie & Bryan enjoyed her books at one time) only it turns out that it's book 7 of a series. I might still read it though. We'll see.
posted by Bald Jason at 05:26 PM
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Trevor just called me back. We talked about some of the rough patches of our date, and we're still talking, and still planning on hanging out...working on things to see if we can make them work. It seems like we're being very honest with one another and that helps things along nicely.
posted by Bald Jason at 06:04 PM
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Monday, November 24, 2008
I read all but the epilogue in my Trek book, which I suppose I'll finish now. I slept from around 7pm to 1:30am. We didn't take the followup pictures, though I did shave. I was waiting until my laundry was done, and then Mark went to bed just as I was getting up. Perhaps I'll take them on my own.
Here are the pictures of my beard taken yesterday evening:
posted by Bald Jason at 01:50 AM
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I just had a snack & finished the Destiny Trilogy. I had some minor quibbles with the storytelling, and 1 major problem with a single story strand, which on later reflection didn't bother me overly much. If that strand had been told in the same manner in a DS9 novel I would have been annoyed, but as it featured Next Gen characters...well, the outcome was very Next Gen, so I can't really complain I guess.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:17 AM
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I'm downloading the latest 'Wolverine' & 'True Blood' episodes, the latter of which is the first season finale. Other than that, I'm not really doing much. Mollie had left me a voicemail message while I was asleep, and I just left one for her in response. While driving with Mark yesterday I pointed out that it's been over a year since I've seen Mollie or Jennifer...and Mark said that they don't need us anymore. Mollie still needs us though. Or she wants us at least. lol. Jennifer, I don't really know. I've probably left her 20 or more messages in the last year, and the only message I've gotten was a brief voicemail on my birthday. It actually hurts.
posted by Bald Jason at 03:14 AM
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I had a dream last night that I was back in High School. And I was there with all my old classmates. There were some bullies and I kicked their asses. There was a school dance coming up that was free for seniors, but was $150.00 for everyone else. I wasn't sure if I was a senior because of my grades but it turned out I was. I also dreamed that one of kids at school was gay (I'm pretty sure he wasn't), and I kept asking people about him, and whatever happened to him, and it turned out he had died in a motorcycle accident. It was really odd. I was bummed because I wanted to ask him to the dance. And then I thought maybe I could get Michael to go with me...and I woke up.
1 year ago today, I took Michael Eisinger as my date to the surprise party I threw for my younger sister Jamie. And despite how cold it was, and how my little sister didn't even thank me for all the trouble I went through, and the money that I'd spent, and the party that I'd planned...I had fun with him there. I miss that Michael.
posted by Bald Jason at 09:13 AM
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Tuesday, November 25, 2008
I slept last night, from about 10pm-7am. I'd only meant to take a nap, but I messed up my alarm. Oh well. I slept well at least. No intense dreams. I'm guessing that means that the half a zombie pill I took on Thursday is out of my system. I'll probably take the other half later today.
posted by Bald Jason at 07:54 AM
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Alright. Here's some strangeness. The other night I had a dream. In the dream, I had wanted to take a boy to my high school prom. The boy was a real boy that I went to school with. I didn't mention his name in the post the first time around as I didn't want it to pop up in a search engine, because I never really had any interest in the boy, but in my dream I did. And actually, in the dream when I tried to find him he was dead; having died in a motorcycle accident. Anyways - his name was Matt Wilkinson. Alright. There it is. Ok. So here's where it gets stranger. I got a message on a gay site today from a mwilkinson, 35. My birthday is in August, so almost everyone in my class in school was a year older than me, which means the Matt in my dream would most likely be 35 now. If it's just a random thing, that's freaky enough. If it's actually him...that would just be...kind of neat, actually. lol
But now that I think about it I might be confusing to people I went to school with. I mean...I definitely went to school with a Wilkinson boy, and some Matts, but maybe there wasn't a Matt Wilkinson? I don't know. And the Matt in my dream, though he was definitely a real student, might not have been the same Matt that I'm thinking of now. lol. Oh well. It amused me for 20 minutes.
I watched the latest Sarah Jane episode. It had a really cute scene in it, that I think Mollie will like. 2 more episodes and this season of Sarah Jane will be over. I saw the finale of True Blood yesterday, which didn't disappoint. But I want the 2nd Season NOW. It will be back in the summer though.
I chatted with Trevor last night. Things seem to be going well there, but it feels different now that we've met. I'm not sure it will ever get back to what it was. We'll see.
posted by Bald Jason at 10:19 AM
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The Sarah Jane Adventures has been renewed for a 3rd Series! It's being rumored that this 3rd series will be the last, and that a 4th series of Torchwood will bring a close to that series. Basically what this all means is that we'll get these episodes:
Enemy of the Bane, Part I
Enemy of the Bane, Part II
Final 2 episodes of Sarah Jane Series 2.The Next Doctor
2008 Doctor Who Christmas SpecialDoctor Who 2009 Specials
4 hour long specials to air throughout 2009. The first is set to air around Easter.Torchwood Series 3
A 5 part 2009 mini-series event.Sarah Jane Series 3
3rd and final 2009 series.2009 Children in Need
Possible Mini-Episode.Torchwood Series 4
A full final season in early 2010.Doctor Who Series 5
A new beginning for New Who, with a new Doctor, new Companions, New Showrunner, lead writers, producers - and no spin-offs to get in the way - coming in 2010.Works for me. If the rumors prove true, then I'll be sad to see Torchwood & Sarah Jane leave us, but they'll have had good runs, and they'll always be part of the Whoniverse, with the possibility of returning in new stories at a later date. I just hope that by the end of Torchwood we find out why Jack's memories were stolen (as referenced in his first appearances on Who), what Jack's real name is, and it wouldn't hurt if we learned a bit more about the Face of Boe! :0)
posted by Bald Jason at 12:02 PM
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I did a lot of chatting online today. And that's basically all I did. I was going to go to bed earlier tonight, as I've been going to bed rather early, but then I remembered I needed to take my half a zombie capsule tonight so I had to get some things out of the way first. Now that I've got those pills sorted I sort of love them. About 3 days after I take them my dreams get really intense, but usually in a good way. I wish they were like that all the time.
Now I'm tired, but feel kind of awake.
Oh! DJ Earworm released a new mashup. Nice. I've not been especially impressed with his latest work; nothing has really popped since his United States of Pop, but this new one is pretty good.
posted by Bald Jason at 10:30 PM
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Thursday, November 27, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving.
Not a big Thanksgiving person. The holiday's origins are murky. It centers on food. And most of the friends that I would share it with are no longer around.
However, I'm quite thankful that we now only have 4 weeks until 'The Next Doctor' (the 2008 Doctor Who Christmas Special) airs in the UK. :0)
Yesterday I worked on my webpage. That's about all I did. Except just before going to bed I started rereading Harry Potter 6, which I'm enjoying quite a bit, having only read it twice before.
posted by Bald Jason at 09:51 AM
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I watched a bunch of excerpts from 'The Closer' and read the first 100 pages of 'Half-Blood Prince'. I'm thinking of watching some Classic Who. I've got some bad heartburn...but todays seems like the right day for that. lol.
I exchanged 'Happy Thanksgiving' messages with Mark & Shawn Foreman.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:47 PM
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I wished Michael a Happy Thanksgiving on yahoo; his response was "yup". Then I lost the connection so I'm not sure if anything was going to follow that. I tried calling my grandmother but the phone is busy. Mark says he doesn't feel weird about not doing anything for Thanksgiving... that now he's home with me it's perfect. He's sweet.
posted by Bald Jason at 03:57 PM
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My blog is weird. And suffering random doubles. This entry is just to fix that. lol Continue.
posted by Bald Jason at 04:14 PM
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Friday, November 28, 2008
I finally got back on yahoo last night, but Michael was no longer there. I left him a message. I chatted with Trevor for a bit.
I read more than a third of 'Half-Blood Prince' yesterday. My acid reflux calmed down enough to let me have some garlic bread late in the evening. I had odd dreams.
The Doctor Who Proms will be broadcast in the UK around Christmas. This is good news as an edited for consumption version of "Music of the Spheres", a fun, if pointless mini-who episode will be broadcast as well, and this 1 off mini is 1 more appearance for the Doctor in Season 31 of the Whoniverse. This gives the Doctor 6 confirmed installments, with a possible Children-in-Need mini next year, and possible guest appearances in the 3rd Series of Sarah Jane, or the 4th Series of Torchwood. I would place 'Music of the Spheres' just after 'The Temptation of Sarah Jane Smith, Part II' - giving 2 stories that don't have a lot in common, a bit of a crossover feel. ;-)
posted by Bald Jason at 10:26 AM
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15 years ago today I started working at the Ann Arbor Target store. It was insane. I was happy to be working there, but I was completely lost, and as it's the busiest shopping day of the year I wasn't trained to be a cashier but just thrown out on the floor and told to help as many people as I could. I remember it so clearly. I was jazzed to be working there; my secret boyfriend was an upper level managment person and no one was supposed to know we were dating so we had this whole relationship on the downlow...though people sometimes guessed. lol. It was fun. And I'd just left 'Litte Caesars', which despite the good food, was a terrible place to work, so I really appreciated the new job.
I'd appreciate a new job about now too.
posted by Bald Jason at 05:44 PM
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Saturday, November 29, 2008
I got up this morning and cleaned up the car; I might clean up the car some more; the surfaces are filthy with dust. I took out the trash. I did the dishes. I sorted my dirty laundry. I rearranged the disorganized and messy looking dvd shelf downstairs. I reorganized some of the clutter downstairs, putting stuff where it goes and clearing away some useless bits. I have a horrible headache, so I'm wearing my sunglasses in the house to reduce the light aura bullshit. But I've accomplished quite a bit.
posted by Bald Jason at 12:51 PM
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I started reorganizing the cd rack and found a huge stack of cds...that aren't ours. We're not sure where they came from. My best guess is that Sean Mobley accidentally left them here when he visited in October. I know he had a bunch of cds, and the shelf is right next to the couch, where he'd left his stuff. So...now I'm listening to some really weird music, which will forever mark this day.
Oh. I should empty the trash in the bathroom. I don't really have much laundry to do, so that can wait.
My headache is still bad, but I think it's slightly better. I have the sunglasses off now.
Ok. Listening to a cd labled driving cd or car cd or something...odd music. The 4th track I think is from Kill Bill. An odd assortment of music here. lol
posted by Bald Jason at 01:30 PM
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I was listening to the cds, which I now suspect were left by Bryan Alfaro, when Mark asked me if I was hungry. We're going to Pizza house.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:11 PM
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We found a nice parking spot, and had a nice meal at Pizza House. I had taken the last of my Midrin before leaving, and with the food, they kicked in and my headache is gone. I feel weird not having any Midrin on hand though; there was a refill left on the bottle but it expired in September.
Just as Mark was dropping me off so he could go to Kroger, I got a call from Mollie, which was a nice surprise; hearing from her always makes me feel better.
I'm going to chill, and read the new Buffy comic.
posted by Bald Jason at 04:16 PM
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