Monday, March 16, 2009

Friday night, I didn't get to bed as soon as I'd have liked, as Mark got home before I could get to sleep, and he felt like talking and cuddling, which was ok. It was nice actually.

Saturday. Mark & I cuddled some more. Later we went to his work to get some of his tax information. We went to Hillards to get water and other stuff. We saw Michael. I talked to DJ on the phone; Hollywood is taking him to court saying they don't owe him unemployment!?! Fuckers. Was still good to hear DJ's voice. Mark & I ate at Little Caesars. A great day with Mark. We still have them sometimes. lol.

Later Saturday night and into Sunday morning my stomach was killing me. It was odd, because I was suffering symptoms that I used to have to deal with every day, and it just struck me how amazing it is that I survived for 7 years dealing with that bullshit. It was horrible, but revelatory.

Sunday. Mark & I went for a walk. It started out alright, but we hit this trail that I like, and it was beyond muddy. It was crazy. We decided to hike up the hill to the road and head home that way, only I got caught in this mudslide (mud all over me) and sliced my arm open. I wouldn't have thought anything of it when I was a kid, but now I'm old, out of shape, and a bit of a pussy. On our way back home, we visited this park I've always wanted to stop at, and found a cool enclosed sidewalk path that took us back to our street. Showering the muck from my wound and dousing it with alcohol was very UN FUN. lol. But we just wrote it off to our little adventure.

Sunday night Mark was able to get the final 7 episodes of Wolverine for me, but I still haven't watched them.

This morning I watched 2 episodes of Brothers and Sisters; there are 4 more that I haven't seen. Later I finished off the most recent season of Nip/Tuck. Mark changed my bandage before he went to work. I napped later.

Also over the weekend I chatted with Michael and Chris at random intervals. I dealt with a 14yo boy who's prone to using a fake e-mail addy that just happens to be mine. I didn't hunt him down or anything, I just figured out who the fuck he was, and let it go for now. I also spent a lot of time on this Star Trek forum. I made a new online friend named Jonathan, who's gay, and lives in NC. Plus I posted about all sorts of Trek stuff, and I think I made some other friends too, as several people seemed to respond to the things I had to say.

I'm wondering if I should shave off my beard, which hasn't even been trimmed in two weeks. I feel like Grizzley Adams.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:46 PM
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   Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I shaved and showered; got pretty and went to Necto. My ex-bf (from 5 years ago) Matt was there, with his friend Emily, and some other friends. I met one of them, but I didn't quite catch her name in the loudness of the bar. I danced. I talked to Jim and Simon (the latter boy I just met, and made out with - 21). Simon is part gay. lol. It all amused me. Everything amused me, but I was asleep last night at this time, so I was tired most of the night.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:29 AM
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I snapped a few pictures and uploaded a new gay.com pic. I've been trying to keep up to date with my pix there. Karen was chatting there, incognito. It was nice to chat with her...but I'm exhausted. I still need to shower the sweat and smoke of the bar off me. Blah.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:29 AM
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I just found out that some of the episodes I need of Brothers and Sisters, and Desperate Housewives are probably NOT available anymore. Damn it. :-0( This is a sad note to end my 'day' on.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:49 AM
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I slept until around 10am. I watched 4 Wolverine & the X-Men episodes before I slept. I watched the final 3 parter when I woke up. A fantastic ending to an amazing season. This series would make a really great dvd box set. The series is heavily serialized, and the end of the season is a huge payoff to stories throughout the season. Sometimes you think you know something, and then you don't. It's the best X-Men series ever, IMO.

Some things that I loved about the series is that it wasn't overwhelmed by the Phoenix / Jean Grey plot, and yet both were used, and actually added in new elements from the comics that I've never seen dramatized before. Like, I know my friend Mollie hates Jean Grey, but she might like this series as Jean is in maybe 10 of the 26 episodes, if that. And the Phoenix story is only played out in about 6 of them, though it's far more subtle than previous adaptations. Emma Frost is my favorite character. The series has a huge cast, but doesn't let anyone overwhelm the main plot; the characters are all used well, and there is some really strong character development. I hope the 2nd Season (currently in preproduction) can match the quality of the first. This felt a lot more like the comics than previous attempts, and the series didn't shy away from the complex characters, and the darkness found in many of the stories.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:07 PM
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I had one of my headaches, but it's mostly gone now. I'm having trouble signing in to gay.com, which sucks. I posted on the Trek forum.

Oh. So...spoilers for all episodes through "No Exit". This spoiler is actually for the last episode, but it's something that Ron Moore WANTS us to know before seeing it. So...people have seen through "No Exit" feel free to read this; others can ignore it.

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This Ron Moore quote is from the podcast for "Islanded in a Stream of Stars":

"...I should probably say as a sidenote -- I know that there is a tremendous amount of speculation out there on the Internet -- that Kara is the daughter of Daniel or that Daniel, Daniel being the Cylon model that was killed or destroyed or aborted, however you want to choose to define it, by Cavil, that there's a connection between Daniel and Kara and that's part of the revelations that we're gonna reveal in the finale. I don't typically want to, like, put theories to rest, because it kinda spoils the enjoyment and fun of people in the show, however I do think it's worth saying that that is not part of the plan.

In this particular case, I don't want people to really be distracted through the finale by this other idea which has gained a tremendous amount of currency on the Internet and among fan circles and that's probably my own fault, because I don't think I realized the impact that the backstory of Daniel would have in "No Exit." I sort of thought that it was an interesting story about, that defined something about Brother Cavil, or John Cavil, and his backstory and how he reacted to the threat of someone else being as beloved as he was. It was a sorta Cain and Abel type allegory. All those reasons, -- I just thought it was an interesting piece of backstory, but in recent weeks I've realized that the Cult of Daniel has grown and there's a tremendous amount, there's a LOT of people out there who are now investing a tremendous amount of time and energy and thought into the notion that Daniel is really a powerful figure in the show and mythos and is directly related to Kara, and I don't want anyone listening to this podcast -- I don't want you to go into the finale with your Daniel-hopes up too high, because that's really not part of the plan. And again, I apologize if people think that that was such a gigantic mislead or clue or something. That was not the intent and I don't think I anticipated how strongly that would be grabbed by people."

And there you have it. Daniel is not key to the finale, and he has no relation to Kara.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:42 PM
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   Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I spent yesterday in a daze. I did eventually clean my room a bit, and read. I watched the news, including a bit about Britney's 'If You Seek Amy' video, which amused me. I've never been a huge fan, but I'm not a hater. Mark on the other hand can't stand her chipmunk voice.

Speaking of Mark, he kindly tracked down some tv episodes I needed, so I got to see the last 4 Brothers & Sisters episodes this morning before I went to bed.

I only slept about 5 hours. I got Mark up for work. I watched the final 2 episodes of The L Word, and then watched a special about the show. I didn't love or hate the finale, and it struck me that there are almost NO finales that I love. There's DS9. I enjoyed 'Epilogue' for the DCAU. I think of Star Trek VI as the finale to Classic Trek, and I like that well enough. And I like 'Serenity' as the finale of Firefly. I thought the final episodes of Buffy & Angel were both pretty flawed. Alley McBeal was ok. ALIAS sucked. I love the last episode of Dawson's Creek (I know; shoot me). And the 'Sex & the City' Movie seemed like a good wrap for the series (though they're making another one). I hated the endinging of Seinfeld, and if I'd been a fan of Sopranos I'd probably hate that one too.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:15 PM
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I got dressed and took a walk around the block. While walking I called Janice (who had to leave right then), my Grandmother (for a long, fun conversation), and left messages for Jennifer, Mollie & Tony. It was a nice walk, and the weather was nice, but it got pretty dark towards the end and looks like it might rain; I'm glad I got out when I did.

I guess I should also note that 17 years ago today (back when I was 17) I cut my wrist with a razor and ended up in a hospital for 13 days, which had a profound impact on my life. It's weird to think that I've doubled my age since then. That's incredible to me.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:40 PM
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I chatted with Paul Ferguson and Bobby on gay.com. Also chatted with Michael briefly. Later I watched 'Psycho Beach Party' on LOGO; I'd seen it years before. I took a brief nap. My stomach wasn't feeling that great; I blame the toast I had earlier. Later I clicked on CNN and read that Natasha Richardson died today. I had to look up her movies because I knew I'd seen her in something recently. What I saw her in was "Evening"; I own it. Her sister Joley plays Julia on Nip/Tuck. Natasha was married to Liam Neeson. :0(

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:51 PM
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   Thursday, March 19, 2009

I went to bed around 3am. I woke up at 8am. I wanted to sleep more, but I'd promised Mark I'd bring his new paper shredder in from the car as he hurt his back the other day. Mark & I were both tired and grumpy. I got the paper shredder in and sat on the couch for about 40 minutes trying to decide if I wanted to sleep or get some groceries. I got groceries. Then I stayed up so I could wake Mark up for work at 12:30. In that time I talked on the phone with my nephews, who had the day off of school. After Mark left I took a 20 minute nap. I chatted online with my ex-bf Paul, and Bobby. I updated some Doctor Who stuff. I updated my BSG page devoted to "The Plan" (spoilers for Season 4.5), and shared that with Bobby.

Oh. About tomorrow's finale to BSG. Not that anyone reads this, but the episode starts at 9pm, and isn't 2 hours after all; it's 2 hours and 11 minutes. Hopefully it's a satisfying ending.

Paul & were talking about seeing movies, and I told him that Mollie was my movie bud and that I don't see many movies since she moved. I saw 2 movies last year, and I haven't seen any this year. He put forth that he'd like to be my replacement movie buddy, but I don't really have any movies I want to see until May, except maybe Watchmen, and he's seeing that in the Imax on Saturday. Regardless of all that, we're planning on hanging out Tuesday night.

I tried watching some Robotech earlier, but I get disinterested in the early episodes because I've seen them so many times. I'd would probably be better if I stared a few discs in, but I don't like the idea of skipping ahead.

I'm listening to Radiohead. Snacking. I want to take another nap. Or read. Or watch LOST, or something. I'm not sure.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:05 PM
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   Friday, March 20, 2009

I read more Robotech last night; I'm still having trouble sticking to any single book this year. At least I'm reading a lot; I'm just not finishing anything. lol

I slept well. About 5 hours. I woke up because our car alarm was going off. The sensor in the door is fucked up and it's messing with other stuff - or that's the theory.

I stayed up reading the news, and commenting on facebook. I then updated more webpage stuff (more BSG & Who). I got Mark up for work, and I started making my fun lists. I'm reworking my opinions on how Seasons 31 & 32 of the whoniverse will play out, which is actually impossible to tell as I don't have nearly enough info to figure it out, but it's still fun. I'm such a geek.

In less than 8 hours I'll be watching the series finale of BSG. I was worried about loose ends, but a tv guide person who's already seen the finale had this to say:

"So many questions will be answered — including some you probably thought wouldn't be addressed due to time constraints."

I hope that's true, and that the series ends well. That's all I want.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:27 PM
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I sorted some pictures. I worked on my webpage. I had a shake. Apparently I just can't have icecream anymore. It makes me sick, the way I used to be sick all the time. Friends should remind me of this when I get a craving for icecream. Blah.

The finale of BSG stars in 1 hour and 17 minutes.

I'm ready, but I'm not. Every week I wait for the new episode, and then everytime a new one arrives I can't believe it's happening. I can only imagine this sensation will be increased with tonight's episode which isn't just super long episode, but also the finale of the series. I'm able to enjoy these things far more on DVD, but I just can't wait for that this time.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:43 PM
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10 minutes and counting.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:50 PM
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So I've seen the finale to BSG; the tv version anyways. Part I should have aired with Part II. I think it said a lot of important things. Not everything was explained as I wanted them to be, yet I think I like that. I think I will come to love the ending of this series, very much. One thing that wasn't explained...it was explained, but...not. And I think I like that a lot. And I wouldn't have expected that. Still, I look forward to rewatching the DVD extended edit (I've heard about several deleted scenes), with DVD quality imagery. And it will be interesting to see the beginning of the series now that we've seen the end (and had those flashbacks explain certain things). I'm only waiting for the extended dvd cut of "The Plan" before I rewatch the series again. They showed a new trailer for Caprica which looked pretty good, and also the first trailer for the The Plan. I'm excited to see both.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:42 PM
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   Saturday, March 21, 2009

Mark got home. I was worried because he was so late. I was thinking I might go to Necto. A friend of mine had invited me, and I said I might go. I shaved my head. Then Mark finally got home, and said that the sensor in our passenger door is so bent up, and that it's my fault for doing that - and that 'they' probably won't fix it. I don't deny that I've closed the door on my seatbelt, and my jacket before, but Mark has done this too; I've seen him do it. I can only remember it happening once, but still. He says that never happened. I remember being surprised when it happened, and sharing a look with him, of good natured humor. I was proud of myself for not making a big deal about it, only in retrospect maybe if I had it would be more memorable for him. Only there's no way to know as his memory is so fricking bad, and listens to things so selectively that it's impossible to know what he will or will not remember. It's something I've struggled with ever since I met him. The good far outweighs the bad, but it doesn't stop the bad from hurting. Anyways; my stomach hurts now, and it's not a good idea for me to go the bar now. Thanks Mark.

Mark came to my door while I was typing that and talked some more. He told me about his crappy day... This while I was shaking at his callous accusation. He ordered a gift for his dad on Amazon, but then found a better version of the gift, but his order was already placed. That sucks. A callous person would say that he should have looked at all his options before ordering, but I simply told him that sucks, and agreed with his statement that instead of buying 2 versions of the same gift (a socket wrench set), that he would be best served by getting a different tool altogether. This while my stomach was roaring.

I was having a really great night until Mark got home. I love him, but he hurts me sometimes. I don't think he means to, most of the time, but it still hurts. I know that I hurt him to. I think all close relationships are sometimes hurtful, to some degree. I just shouldn't let this bother me.

I told Mark that I liked BSG but I don't think he will. It's just a feeling, but perhaps I'm wrong. Maybe he'll enjoy it. I don't really know. Parts of it were very moving. And I think I'll find those things even more moving now that I know they are coming, and what the payoffs are. Perhaps I'll post a spoiler rich review later.

I think I want to read my robotech book. I'm tempted to go get a hug from Mark. I always want a hug from Mark when we aren't getting along. I mean, I often want to hug Mark when we are getting along, but I always want to hug him when we aren't getting along.

We had an interesting conversation the other day. I referred to him as my brother, and he said that he hates it when I do that. That he wants me to desire him. And I told him that I do, but that put those feeling away...and keep them buried, because if I had those feelings on display all the time, that living with him, and not having him would drive me crazy. He said that he understood the words that I was saying and that he believed that I believed them, but that he couldn't comprehend my meaning. We definitely have a very interesting relationship.

17 years ago, when I was 17, I was in the hospital. And we watched "Ferris Bueller's Day Off". If I'd remembered that earlier I would have rented it. A week later we watched "Drop Dead Fred". I also remember that the weekend before my arrival they had watched "The Sound of Music"; I remember them talking about how the girls wanted to watch it, but that the girls eventually went to bed and the boys stayed up to finish it. I remember watching Saved by the Bell, and the A Team. Eating Oreos. Drinking iced tea. Playing bullshit in the kitchen at those little tables with my dead friends. There was a ping pong table in that room. I played against Mike before they let us go to school. I wasn't allowed at first as I was on suicide watch, and Mike Neal wasn't because he'd made an escape attempt. He was crazy. And there was Alan, who was only 12 years old. The older kids tried to convince him that they'd started a club where you wore all your clothes inside out, and I stopped him from turing his tennis shoes inside out. I remember Rachel was exactly 2 years younger than me; we had the same birthday. Michelle was born around Halloween. Bryan was born July 24, 76; I always remember because I thought he said July 4th at first. Those are the only birthdays I'm aware of. There was Joe Egan from Canada. Christine Deppa. Amy. Heather. Jason Green. Amanda. Rhonda. Ron. Names come back to me...and I can hear their voices right now. That's unusual. Usually I don't remember them anymore. I remember my room with hard bed. And my bonding with others I met later that had stayed there; some of who were even crazier than I'd have expected. I remember some woman helping the kids to make pizza from scratch. I remember the Educational Therapy teacher (Pat), and how I once ran into her at gas station in Milan; she said that she drove past my parents house all the time and would think of me; I think she lived in Briton (MI), or around there. Remember playing wallyball to deal with my anger. Mom got me ball to use after I got out and I bounced it off the barn that is no longer there. Grandma got me Oreos. And I bought Ferris Bueller's Day Off on video. It all made me sad. I used to talk to Mike, Rhonda, & Bryan on the phone. I traded letters with Christine. I ran into Amy & Heather at school. This tidal wave of memories is coming fast and hard now...it's a bit overwhelming.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:56 AM
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I got my hug from Mark and I told him some hospital stories that he's probably heard before. It was nice. He downloaded the finale to BSG. Maybe I'll watch the highlights.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:10 AM
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I ended up not watching highlights from the finale to BSG. I started to, but realized that I don't really want to rewatch it until it comes time to see the extended cut, or when I rewatch the entire series. It would be nice if I could wait until I have the extended cut of The Plan as well, and I might not even have to wait that long as the date of BSG 4.5 on DVD hasn't ever been confirmed; maybe it will be moved to the fall as well.

I read more Robotech instead.

I talked to Mark about the finale when he was done watching it. He pretty much hated it, as I suspected he would. He even hated things that I thought were awesomme. Maybe I'll hate it the next time I watch it. I don't know. We'll see.

I'm tired.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:40 AM
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