Bald Jason's Musings

Sunday, January 3, 2010

I took a nap after the last entry. A text from Michael woke me up. I read some Doctor Who related articles, rewatched the closing moments of the 10th Doctor, which brought me to tears this time, had a chat with Mark, then called Michael back. We chatted on yahoo about his furnature, then I went back to reading about Who. I started reading but Mark interrupted me and I never got back to it. Michael went back to watching Buffy; he's watching Season 3 at the moment - recently finishing "The Prom". I randomly watched "Rose" from Doctor Who; the first episode of New Who from which most of the current magic sprang. I might sleep. I might have a shake and more reading. I don't know really.

posted by Bald Jason at 02:15 AM
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Ok. I've watched the trailer for the 11th Doctor several times now and I've decided I'm rather excited to see how the new season plays out. I didn't like the 10th Doctor at first, and he didn't feel right to me until the end of his first season, and I didn't love him until 3 quarters of the way through his 2nd season, but at this point I'm pretty much hooked on the Whoniverse so it would really have to suck for me to end my association with it. But I don't think it will be bad. I think it will be good. Plus I believe that both Sarah Jane & Torchwood will be back and I want to see what happens next for them as well.

Now if I could just fast forward time until the next installment airs. ;-0)

posted by Bald Jason at 04:05 AM
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Michael & I are no longer a couple. What we are now remains to be seen. He says he doesn't want to lose me and that he needs my help...and I'm willing to help him, but I can't trust him, though I love him deeply. We'll see what happens next.

And my cold is getting a lot worse.

posted by Bald Jason at 05:42 PM
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Everytime I watch "The End of Time, Part II" I cry during a different section. This time I cried when the Doctor heard the 4 knocks...and then all through his speech after that. Tears pouring down my face. The end of an era. I'm very excited to see next season of Who. It would be wonderful if I loved the new series as much as the one that's just finished; wonderful if this wasn't the end of my love affair with Who, and this was just a wonderful transition. Mark said he might not watch the next season, but I hope he will. I wish I could get these episodes to Mollie somehow.

posted by Bald Jason at 08:44 PM
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I don't believe in most religous stuff. I just don't. I think it's possible there is a god, but I doubt it has anything to do with the bible or any other religous text. I don't believe in magic or ghosts. Yet there have been moments in my life when things have been extremely clear...and have clearly been beyond the normal. Times when I knew that my older sister was sick or in a hospital, or pregnant - when there was no way for me to know that. And we've had the same dreams, she and I. And what about that summer I was seemingly randomly haunted by recurring dreams of tornados, which ended when my Aunt was caught in one? I somehow find ways to not believe though. To laugh it off. To pretend it's not happening.

Yet I find in my life that I'm constantly seeking bookends; things in my life coming full circle. I like that kind of imagery. When I've made mixed cds for people I've insisted that the first and last songs be linked. I've always been that way. And I'm sure it's silly nonsense, but it haunts me, and maybe that's because I see bookends in my life on nights like tonight.

Sometimes...Somtimes just for moments, other times for days, I get glimpses of memory and emotion and it's all tied together in the present. It's like I'm meditating or praying and the answers are just there for me to see; clear as day. Maybe I'm crazy. I don't know. Maybe I'm just dramatic. But I know what I know, and I believe what I believe.

On May 20, 2009, my then boyfriend Michael Slaughter cheated on me for the first time with a man named Joseph Mendoza; I wouldn't learn the truth of what happened that day until months later, and lived that summer in blissful ignorance. That same day in May, and also unknown to me at the time, David Tennant filmed his final scene as the 10th Doctor for the Doctor Who episode "The End of Time, Part II", the story for which would serve as the final 10th Doctor story and his regeneration into the 11th. I watched that episode with Michael Slaughter on Saturday January 2, 2010. In less that 24 hours time we would no longer be a couple, and the circle of pain that began with his indiscretion on May 20th culminated with my own regeneration of sorts, from boyfriend, to friend.

On January 2, 2009, almost exactly 3 months to the day, before I met Michael in person on our first date (and most likely exactly 3 months before I slept with him for the first time)...I took a series of self photographs in which multiple people have said that I looked haunted...and while I felt great emotion during the taking of those pictures, I couldn't explain why. Now I believe...that part of me knew...that a year from then my life would be changed. Not knew...but felt. The photographs were an echo back through time you could say. But that's crazy, and silly, and impossible. But that's the feeling I felt and the feeling I feel. Here are a few of the photographs taken that day, 1 year before my loss:

The same night I spent with Michael and watched that episode, the last time I held him in my arms and believed I could trust him - the night I agreed again to marry him - I let him cum inside me (only the 2nd time I'd permitted such an act). The first time a boy did that it was my cousin Jeff. That night with my cousin was very special to me, but I never saw that Jeff again; I woke up without him there, and the next time I saw him was years later, after he'd been in a terrible accident and he'd suffered brain damage which had significantly changed who he was before. This time I let Michael cum inside me, and the next time I saw him I knew that he was trying to cheat again. I could have broken things off with him then, but I decided to wait and give myself the followup night of being held that was denied me when I slept with Jeff all those years ago. It felt like the completion of a cycle.

While sleeping with Michael the morning of January 3, 2010, he rubbed Vicks Vapor Rub into my skin to help with my cough. The first time since my mother did so when I was very young; bringing back a surge of fevered childhood memories, and reafirming to me that Michael is a part of my family and always will be. Our relationship has grown and changed us, and will continue to do so I think, but he's a part of me that I don't want to lose, though we may never be what I'd hoped for. Just like the relationship with my mother.

Maybe I'm seeing things that aren't there to comfort myself in the dark of my pain, but I can't help it. I'll understand if you laugh at me. I probably would if I were in your place. But that doesn't mean I'm wrong. Because even if nothing mystical is happening here, something human definitely is. And all my senses are telling me this moment in time matters, and that other moments in my life have prepared me for it. Maybe that's all this is.

posted by Bald Jason at 09:38 PM
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Monday, January 4, 2010

I've eaten. Exchanged some e-mails. Had moments of delerious doubt, love & pain. I feel empty.

posted by Bald Jason at 12:02 AM
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Chatted on the phone & yahoo with Michael. He still wants to be a couple. I can't trust him. But I want to help him. Not sure where that leaves us.

Chatted on yahoo with Karen. She's all caught up on the Whoniverse!!! Awesome!

Speaking of which...I need to get my discs out to Mikea, Jean, Pat & Cara! I'll work on them today sometime. After I sleep.

My farm is nearly done though. Maybe I'll wait for sleep until that's done...and then sleep while stuff is growing.

posted by Bald Jason at 04:59 AM
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Having trouble sleeping.

Just finished working on my farm. I've got crops coming in Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday. Slowly getting more cash so I can decorate my farms.

18 days until Dollhouse ends and Caprica begins. I hope Dollhouse ends well, and that Caprica can continue on from the pilot in a cool way, without losing anything. Even if this season is cancelled, there were still be the 77 BSG episodes to follow.

The new season of Doctor Who should start in about 3 months. Torchwood & Sarah Jane haven't been greenlit yet, so aren't likely to air until Fall 2010 at the earliest. No word on when K9 begins airing.

posted by Bald Jason at 07:18 AM
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I read more Robotech before bed. I'm not sure what time I fell asleep, but I woke up at 5:30pm. I talked to Michael on the phone. I had a prilosec. I reminded Michael to harvest his farm. My cold is so much worse than it was a few days ago. Blah.

posted by Bald Jason at 06:38 PM
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Now, along with my cold, my stomach is upset too, which it hadn't been for several days. I took some pepto. Hope it helps.

posted by Bald Jason at 07:10 PM
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New Freakyness - the other night I woke up freaked out from a dream in which Michael's building was on fire. It freaked me out so much that I called Michael to make sure he was ok. That was Sunday morning. Today his building WAS on fire. Crazy. It's under control, but he called to let me know.

Been chatting with Michael Eisinger; former boyfriend, or Michael#1 as he refers to himself. It's fun. Nice. Comforting.

posted by Bald Jason at 10:26 PM
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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

After chatting with Michael E, I read some more Robotech, and then randomly slept for a few hours. Mark had gone to the store and I was planning on going to Michael Slaughter's when he got home and the car was nice and warm, but I didn't wake up until around 1:30am, at which point the car was surely cold again. I read called Michael, who was also sleeping, to tell him I'd fallen asleep. He called me back to tell me he'd fallen asleep too. We had an intense conversation about our relationship; where it's going; if there's any way to fix it. We talked about his cheating and how he feels when he does that, and where I fit in, and it was all very sad. His life makes me sad; his pain makes me sad. He let me go.

I talked to Mark for a bit, and then Michael called me back and we talked some more. I want to help him, but I'm not sure how. I want to be his friend. I want to be his husband, but I can't be his husband if I don't trust him. I need time. And I don't know if he can give it to me. It's complicated and simple at the same time. But I'm keeping the conversation going. If I can be there for him, then I want to be. I love him. I like to think that's just the kind of person that I am.

Anyways, I might go visit him for a little while. But it's not all selflessness. He has chocolate I want to try! ;-0)

I'll probably finish my book later today - and I'll work on my farm too. I may start rereading the Harry Potter books next. Not sure.

posted by Bald Jason at 04:46 AM
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I did visit Michael yesterday morning. I gave him a handjob, but refused anything else. I told him I don't want to lose him, but I can't trust him and don't see a way to fix this; that I can't be with him unless I have some kind of guarentee that he won't cheat on me again...and his word just isn't worth a lot anymore. He's lied by omission; he's lied to my face after the fact; he's lied to me on the phone while looking for sex. I can't believe him when he says it won't happen again. I need something more. I don't know what that something is, but it can't be me holding him prisoner because that's not the kind of relationship that I want or deserve. He said he'll figure something out and I told him he'd better because I'm not letting this drop. I can't afford to. Oh...and the chocolates I wanted to try (Hershy's pot of gold) were crap. I'm so glad I didn't buy them for myself.

About Michael. We broke up the other day, but we're still a couple. It's hard to explain, but I don't feel single. And I am willing to give this relationship more time to heal and work out a solution than I would have in the past for anyone else...because I simply love this man...and while I'm putting my foot down and saying what I need for this relationship to work...and while I don't know if it can survive this stress that's been placed upon it...I hope that it can endure. I can give him time. I can give him support. I can give him almost anything because my love of him makes me strong. I just can't be with him and pretend that everything is alright when it's not...I can't allow him to treat me in this manner in the future because no matter how much I love him, I have to love myself too.

I came home after and worked on my farm much of the day. I didn't get to bed until around 3pm, and even then I was only able to sleep about 4 hours. This cold is tough, plus Mark coughs really loudly so it's hard to sleep unless he's asleep.

Before I slept, Michael called me to let me know that he'd caught my cold, something I've warned him about since I got it, but he's insisted on kissing me open mouthed at every opportunity so I can't feel terrible about it as I did all I could; I even resisted the kissing at first. Later, after I'd woken (and just shot a load all over my self) he called to tell me he's taken tomorrow off. I showered and then wrote this.

My farm will need work in about 6 hours time I think. I haven't read my book today, but will probably do that soon. Also require food...and possibly cough medicine. Mark says he's starting to feel better, but he doesn't sound better. Hopefully he is on the mend; I hate seeing him suffer. I doubt my illness will improve as quickly as his though; my colds either last a week, or they linger. This one feels like the latter.

posted by Bald Jason at 09:34 PM
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Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I watched Nip/Tuck 6x01. It feels like the show has lost it's way. I'm sorely tempted to stop watching it...yet I know there are only 18 more episodes; the series ends in March. I'll probably watch the rest of it.

I didn't get much sleep, so I'm tired. I haven't eaten really, so I feel out of it. I'm sick...so I feel...sick.

posted by Bald Jason at 12:03 AM
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I talked to Michael on the phone while he drove home from work. We talked again about where we stand. Michael implied that something might be happening on Friday to help ensure oure possible future together. I'm not sure what that means. He asked me if I was scared that there might be a chance that we might break up. I told him that I'm scared but not because there might be a chance, but that I know there is a very real chance. It's not a theory. It's at the door and tapping it's foot.

Erg.

It wasn't all doom and gloom. We worked on each other's farms. And will do again in a couple hours. I think I might read a chapter or two, and then eat.

posted by Bald Jason at 01:56 AM
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I read. I slept. I ate during the next round of farm work, around 4am. I got some new mashups for the first time in like 9 months. I read still more; I have 25 pages left, but was distracted by the neighbors fucking. lol. I should be tired, but I kind of want more food.

posted by Bald Jason at 08:41 AM
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Finally got to sleep around 11:30am. Slept until around 5:30pm. Woke up with a migrain. Called Michael, who offered to go to the pharmacy for me, but Mark was dressed and ready to go so we let Mark go instead (for which I'm very grateful); he also went to kroger and LC so I'd have food to eat with my Midrin. Now my headache is getting better, but my stomach feels very full; not like I ate too much, but kind of like there's food stuck in there inspite of me taking my reglan. Maybe it's those damned vitamins. lol

Michael & I worked on our farms. He's in Season 5 of his Buffy marathon. I'm gonna lay down with my Robotech book and try not to miss him too much. I'm miserable with head pain and a cold, but still wish he was here cuddling with me.

posted by Bald Jason at 07:22 PM
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Thursday, January 7, 2010

Entry UPDATED!

Farm work / play. Reading. Sleeping. Chatting with Mark & Michael about by suppressed 3rd grade attraction to Billy Idol. Talking about my past with Michael upset him, as it often does. He feels threatened when I have a close connection with people I knew before him and wonders if I'd be happier with someone who hasn't made as many mistakes as he has, but what he doesn't understand is that I'm in love with him and only him, and that the only things I need from him are his love and his fidelity. If I could have just those 2 things he'd make me a very happy man.

I later found some Doctor Who news and artwork like the picture below which is my new desktop pic:

SPOILERS TO FOLLOW:

The Who News is the list of writers for the new season of 13 episodes; the list doesn't count the next Christmas Spcecial. Here's how the writers line up:

Steven Moffat [6 episodes]
previously wrote:
The Empty Child *****
The Doctor Dances *****
The Girl in the Fireplace *****
Blink *****
Time Crash ****
Silence in the Library ****
Forest of the Dead *****

Chris Chibnall [2 episodes]
prviously wrote:
"Day One" ****
"Cyberwoman" **
"Countrycide" *****
"42" ***
"End of Days" *****
"Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang" ****
"Adrift" *****
"Fragments" *****
"Exit Wounds" ****

Mark Gatiss [1 episode]
previously wrote:
"The Unquiet Dead" ****
"The Idiot's Lantern" ***

Toby Whithouse [1 episode]
previously wrote:
"School Reunion" ***
"Greeks Bearing Gifts" ***

Gareth Roberts [1 episode]
previously wrote:
"Attack of the Graske" **
"The Shakespeare Code" ****
"Invasion of the Bane" ****
"Revenge of the Slitheen" ***
"The Unicorn and the Wasp" ****
"Whatever Happened To Sarah Jane?" ****
"Secrets of the Stars" ***
"The Temptation of Sarah Jane Smith" ****
"From Raxacoricofallapatorius with Love" **
"The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith" ****
"Planet of the Dead" ***

New Writers:
Richard Curtis [1 episode]
Simon Nye [1 episode]

It's rumored that the episodes play out like this (though not all of this has been confirmed):

01 The Eleventh Hour
Written by Steven Moffat
Directed by Adam Smith

This episode picks up exactly where "The End of Time, Part II" leaves off. It's also known that we'll be getting a new version of the TARDIS, the opening credits / music, new sonic screwdriver, obviously the new Doctor, new behind the scenes crew and new companion Amy Pond:

And here's the 11th Doctor, still wearing the 10th's torn clothing:

Scenes from this episode can be seen in the recent trailer which I'll repost at the end of this post.

02 The Beast Below
Written by Steven Moffat
Directed by Andrew Gunn

Rumored to feature monks with keys.

03 Victory of the Daleks
Written by Mark Gatiss
Directed by Andrew Gunn

Rumored to feature Daleks and Winston Churchill. Daleks can be seen in the recent trailer, including what appears to be a white variant. A WWII set episode which sees the Allies using the Daleks to take on the Nazis.

The plot of this episode, and it's writer, were revealed in a Dark Horizons article.

04 The Time of Angels [Part I]
05 Flesh and Stone [Part II]
Written by Steven Moffat
Directed by Adam Smith

The episode titles and the return of River Song were revealed in an online post by a fan claiming to have a list of 7 spoilers about upcoming Who episodes and specials; so far 5 of the 7 spoilers have proved true, while the 2 that remain pertain to these installments.

The return of the Weeping Angels & Professor River Song (after she's met the Doctor, but before 'Silence in the Library) - featuring the previously mentioned 'crash of the Byzantium' (mentioned as an event in the lives of River and the Doctor's in "Silence in the Library").

***note the wreackage the Doctor is walking past. Then flip it and enhance:

Nifty.

And here's River Song:

And the Weeping Angels have definitely been confirmed to be returning, and were seen in the recent trailer...as was River Song.

06 Vampires in Venice
Written by Toby Whithouse
Directed by Johnny Campbell

Rumored to be set in 1580. The rumored title of this episode appeared long before we actually saw what appear to be vampires in the recent trailer.

07 ???
Written by Somon Nye
Directed by Catherine Morshead

08 ??? [Part I]
09 Cold Blood [Part II]
Written by Chris Chibnall
Directed by Ashley Way

Rumored to feature the return of Classic Who villains the Silurians. The Silurians are a reptillian race, and there are reptillian aliens in the recent trailer though they don't look quite like the Silurians of old, which has the fans fuming in some quarters. I'm sure if these are Silurians there will be some form of explanation.

10 Vincent & the Doctor
Written by Richard Curtis
Directed by Jonny Campbell

Richard Curtis wrote and directed "Love Actually"; one of Mollie's favorite movies (which I also love).

This episode features Van Gogh & a yellow monster. Recent filming suggests Van Gogh will vist 2010.

11 ???
Written by Gareth Roberts
Directed by Catherine Morshead

12 The Pandorica Opens [Part I]
13 ??? [Part II]
Written by Steven Moffat
Directed by Toby Haynes

Rumored to feature the Cybermen or Daleks, though this is seeming less and less likely as anything more than a cameo apperance. Also rumored to feature River Song (she's been seen during filming) - though if she returns it's unknown if (per her timeline) it will be set before or after the earlier episodes in the season - there are also rumors that River may become a companion in this episode.

It's been said that the 'diary' of River and the Doctor has been seen during filming and that Stonehenge & a museum will also feature.

14 ??? (Christmas Special 2010)
Written by Steven Moffat
Directed by ???

I'm excited about everything but the Daleks. I'd have been slightly more interested in the Dalek installment if Steven Moffat was writing it as I've yet to see anything by him that didn't rate 4 or 5 stars (out of 5). Still, he is head writer and will have to have approved the story and has the power of rewrites...so there is hope.

Here, again, is the trailer for next season of Who:

What of the other Whoniverse shows?

According to a recent interview with RTD, Sarah Jane will be back in Autumn 2010. The previous 2 seasons have had 6 stories spread over 12 episodes. It's been said that a 1 hour special is also in the works, but it's unknown if this will give us an episode total of 11 (like they had in Season 1) or 13.

K9 Mark I will have his own series of 26 episodes. Titles for which include:

1x01 Regeneration [Part I]
1x02 Liberation [Part II]
1x03 The Korven
1x04 The Bounty Hunter
1x05 Sirens of Ceres
1x06 Fear Itself
1x07 Fall of the House of Gryffen
1x08 Jaws of Orthrus
1x09 Dreameaters
1x10 The Curse of Anubis
1x11 Oroborus
1x12 Alien Avatar
1x13 Aeolian
1x14 The Last Oak Tree
1x15 Black Hunger
1x16 The Cambridge Spy
1x17 Lost Library of Ukko
1x18 Mutant Copper [Part I]
1x19 The Custodians [Part II]
1x20 Taphony and the Time Loop
1x21 Robot Gladiators
1x22 Mind Snap
1x23 Angel of the North
1x24 The Last Precinct
1x25 Hound of the Korven [Part I]
1x26 Eclipse of the Korven [Part II]

Torchwood is rumored to be returning for a 4th Season of 13 episodes, though that hasn't been confirmed. It's also rumored that Alonso Frame from Doctor Who's "Voyage of the Damned" & "The End of Time, Part II" might be appearing in the new season. And there are multiple rumblings that there may be episodes set in America.

And that about covers everything for now.

posted by Bald Jason at 03:28 AM
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I finished my Robotech book [#03: Homecoming] & cried a little at the passing of a beloved character. It's not so much that I love the character, but I love the characters that love him, actually.

I showered. I ate. I burned some Who discs for my friend Jean. I've got 2 more before I'm done. Perhaps I can get them to her today.

posted by Bald Jason at 05:13 AM
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Got some sleep finally. Woke up around 1pm (I think, though I'm not sure). There was a really sweet voicemail from Michael. Worked on his farm. Talked to Mark for a bit. Worked on my website. Updated a blog entry with still more Doctor Who news ;-0)

We got a huge snowstorm today which sucks. I was going to drive out to my friend Jean's house to deliver Doctor Whoniverse Season 31, but I'm not sure I can make it. Plus we need more water. Hmmm. I'll take a shower and consider my options. Oh...and I should clean my place up a bit, as Michael's coming over tonight. We're still a couple officially; I want this to work and I'm giving it my all. I just hope Michael can give me what I need to give us our happy ending. If he can, AWESOME! If he can't, then I'll always be there for him, and I can be his friend...though if he ever got his life together where he could couple and it wasn't with me it would kill me.

posted by Bald Jason at 05:58 PM
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Friday, January 8, 2010

Michael didn't come over last night due to the storm, and having to be at work at 9am. I slept a little. Put some stuff in order on my computer. I ordered a new remote for the camera, Buffy Season 8 Volume 5, preordered Buffy Season 8 Volume 6 (which comes out in March), and also preordered the final 3 David Tennant specials: "The Waters of Mars", & "The End of Time, Parts I & II" (which come out February 2). I used a gift certificate which saved me about $16. I want to go to the comic shop today and get a Willow 1 shot that came out last month which may explain some of my confusion about her Season 8 arc away. When Volume 6 of the graphic novels arrives I might read the season thus far (which includes 9 volumes & a couple 1 shots which may or may not be collected in future graphic novels) and continue with the final issues of the season as we are fast approaching the end of Buffy Season 8 and I'm very interested to see how it plays out. I've not read the last 11 issues, so that could be a lot of fun.

I tried starting a reread of the Harry Potter books and just couldn't get into it for some reason. I instead started the next Robotech book (#04: BattleHymn); perhaps I'll just read that series until I need a break from it (there are 21 volumes all together); I've read the entire series before in 1996 (having read several of the volumes multipe times before that), but I've not really read them since then. I read the firt 2 volumes last year. The first 6 make up the First Generation. Volume 7 is a Lost Generation volume, which is my favorite book in the series. Volumes 8-12 ("The Sentinels") carries on from one point of view in space, while Volumes 13-20 (Lost Generation: "The Masters' Gambit", 2nd Generation, Lost Generation: "Before the Invid Storm" & 3rd Generation) fill us in on what was happening on Earth during 8-12, sometimes crossing over with the previous novels. And volume 21 ("The End of the Circle") brings it all together in one huge finale.

I've been tempted lately to start rewatching BSG (I keep having memories of the miniseries), only I have so many other things to watch that I'm not sure I can afford to. I watched the first episode of Dexter last night (we have the first 3 or 4 seasons) and I'm not sure I'm going to continue with that one or not; it's pretty gruesome and I don't know if I want to be watching that one all the time. I suspect I'll put off rewatching BSG as long as I can so I can see where Caprica takes us. It would be interesting if Caprica had a good long run and then I rewatched all of that, continuing on with BSG. I'm such a geek.

I kind of feel like cleaning. I may do that next.

posted by Bald Jason at 06:51 AM
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Cleaning was sidetracked by monster migrain. Pain Killer is slowly taking effect. Hoping I can get some cleaning done after I plant crops on Michael's farm.

posted by Bald Jason at 07:48 AM
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Headache is still with me but muted. Made my bed. Finished burning Whoniverse discs for my friend Jean, which I hope to deliver today, as she lives in Ann Arbor. I'd like to go to the comic shop and pick up that Willow comic. I need groceries. I'd like to work on my BSG page on my website. Michael should be here for a visit by noon. Our relationship is in turmoil at the moment, but he's looking into therapy which I think could be very helpful; at least I hope it will be, because I don't want to lose him. When he's not looking for sex with other boys he's perfection, despite his love of Charmed ;-0)

Anyways...I should get some more cleaning done. Also...I so need to clip my nails and finish shaving.

The back of my tongue feels oddly swollen. What's up with that?

I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I have an appointment with a TMJ specialist (not covered by my insurance) on March 2nd at 3pm. I hope that all goes well. I try so hard to not stress about my jaw but it's an every day annoyance. And I really can't express enough how much I miss sucking cock.

posted by Bald Jason at 09:39 AM
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Doing the dishes now. Sorted some trash from my room, the bathroom and living room. Got rid of some stuff and organized other things in the refriderator. Cleaned off the counters a bit. Trying to make the living room look less like we don't use it at all. lol. There are just so many things to do!

posted by Bald Jason at 10:08 AM
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Washing towels. Sorting clothes. Just got off the phone with Michael; he's on his way here. I'm sleepy. There's still so much cleaning that needs to be done in this place, but I need to shave. I clipped my nails earlier. Michael is gonna stop and pick up water for me on his way, which is nice as that's the only thing I had to do today that would have taken me out of Ann Arbor (or is it merely the other side of Ann Arbor?) - whatever. So...Vault of Midnight, Whole Foods, and Jean's. I can probably do that. I do need to sleep though. And cuddles are required.

posted by Bald Jason at 11:25 AM
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Saturday, January 9, 2010

When Michael arrived on Friday we went, almost immiediately (after he harvested his farm) to bed. Naked cuddles, asleep in each other's arms for about 6 hours. Perfection. Sometimes when we sleep together it gets too hot, temperature wise, but I didn't feel that this time, which is always nice. While we were sleeping Mark went to a comic shop, and kindly got me the special Willow one shot issue that I needed. After waking, I left with Mark to drop off Jean's Who discs (success), Meijer for some Boost / Frozen foods, and then Whole Foods for my daily doses of tofu / soy / bread. I forgot to get some Silk. I still have a bit left so I'll be ok. Then home. Michael was watching Buffy ("Belonging") but I've always had a hard time watching that episode so I begged him off of it. We had fun masturbatory time (twice), and I gave him a really good massage I think. He watched the first episode of "Wolverine & the X-Men", but didn't seem overly impressed - though he responded to the humor. I don't know if he'll watch the rest of the series or not. We wrestled and played a lot; lots of laughter. Later, I decided I wanted a more intense sexual encounter, with the knowledge that he's not cheated on me since September, and that I might not be able to trust to that fact in the future, we had a fantastic fuck; knowing all the while that it could be the last time, but hoping that it wouldn't be. And I should note that Michael resisted this; didn't pressure me at all because of my earlier feelings, but I knew what I wanted and went for it. No regrets. Later we worked on our farms, and then ate, and watched the first 3 episodes of "Lost"; he seems to like the show. I've seen most of the first 2 seasons. My only worry about us watching the show is that we'll rush through it and then I'll have to wait for the final episodes...but it should end in a few months anyways so I guess that's not too much to worry about. We slept. I slept for 4 hours. I woke and couldn't get back to sleep. I read my e-mail. I read the Willow one shot, and then wrote this.

posted by Bald Jason at 09:59 AM
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Michael just left. He's gotta work today, so he needed to go home to get ready. I miss him already.

Ok. BIG BUFFY POST!

About the Willow one shot ("Goddesses & Monsters") - it wasn't what I expected it to be, and didn't provide the answers I was looking for exactly, but it did touch on them, so I suspect that my questions will eventually be answered. Also, the volume is set between the end of Season 7 ("Chosen") and the start of Season 8 ("The Long Way Home, Part I"). There's another 1 shot that I need, but I'm not sure how it fits in to the series over all. Perhaps I'll track that down later? Anyways, as I see it, discounting the Angel comics (which I read about 20 issues of and decided they were lame), this cool continuation of Buffy has the Buffy / Angel saga unfolding like this:

Buffyverse Season 01:
001 Welcome to the Hellmouth [Part I]
002 The Harvest [Part II]
003 The Witch
004 Teacher's Pet
005 Never Kill a Boy on the First Date
006 The Pack
007 Angel
008 I Robot -- You Jane
009 The Puppet Show
010 Nightmares
011 Out of Mind, Out of Sight
012 Prophecy Girl

Buffyverse Season 02:
013 When She Was Bad
014 Some Assembly Required
015 School Hard
016 Inca Mummy Girl
017 Reptile Boy
018 Halloween
019 Lie To Me
020 The Dark Age
021 What's My Line, Part I
022 What's My Line, Part II
023 Ted
024 Bad Eggs
025 Surprise [Part I]
026 Innocence [Part II]
027 Phases
028 Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered
029 Passion
030 Killed by Death
031 I Only Have Eyes For You
032 Go Fish
033 Becoming, Part I
034 Becoming, Part II

Buffyverse Season 03:
035 Anne
036 Dead Man's Party
037 Faith, Hope & Trick
038 Beauty & the Beasts
039 Homecoming
040 Band Candy
041 Revelations
042 Lovers Walk
043 The Wish
044 Amends
045 Gingerbread
046 Helpless
047 The Zeppo
048 Bad Girls [Part I]
049 Consequences [Part II]
050 Dopplegangland
051 Enemies
052 Earshot
053 Choices
054 The Prom
055 Graduation Day, Part I
056 Graduation Day, Part II

Buffyverse Season 04:
057 The Freshman
058 City Of...
059 Living Conditions
060 Lonely Hearts
061 The Harsh Light of Day [Part I]
062 In the Dark [Part II]
063 Fear, Itself
064 I Fall to Pieces
065 Beer Bad
066 Rm W/A Vu
067 Wild at Heart
068 Sense & Sensitivity
069 The Initiative
070 The Bachelor Party [Part I]
071 Pangs [Part II]
072 I Will Remember You [Part III]
073 Something Blue [Part IV]
074 Hero [Part V]
075 Parting Gifts [Part VI]
076 Hush [Part I]
077 Doomed [Part II]
078 Somnambulist
079 Expecting
080 She
081 A New Man
082 I've Got You Under My Skin
083 The I in Team [Part I]
084 Goodbye Iowa [Part II]
085 This Year's Girl [Part III]
086 Who Are You? [Part IV]
087 The Prodigal
088 The Ring
089 Superstar
090 Eternity
091 Where the Wild Things Are
092 War Zone
093 New Moon Rising [Part I]
094 Five By Five [Part II]
095 Sanctuary [Part III]
096 The Yoko Factor [Part IV]
097 Primeval [Part V]
098 Blind Date [Part VI]
099 Restless [Part VII]
100 To Shanshu in L.A. [Part VIII]

Buffyverse Season 05:
101 Buffy vs. Dracula
102 Judgment
103 Real Me
104 Are You Now Or Have You Ever Been?
105 The Replacement
106 First Impressions
107 Out of My Mind
108 Untouched
109 No Place Like Home
110 Dear Boy
111 Family
112 Guise Will Be Guise
113 Fool For Love [Part I]
114 Darla [Part II]
115 Shadow
116 Shroud of Rahmon
117 Listening to Fear
118 Into the Woods
119 The Trial [Part I]
120 Reunion [Part II]
121 Redefinition [Part III]
122 Triangle
123 Checkpoint
124 Blood Money
125 Blood Ties
126 Happy Anniversary
127 Crush
128 The Thin Dead Line [Part I]
129 Reprise [Part II]
130 Epiphany [Part III]
131 I Was Made To Love You [Part I]
132 The Body [Part II]
133 Forever [Part III]
134 Disharmony
135 Intervention
136 Dead End
137 Tough Love [Part I]
138 Spiral [Part II]
139 The Weight of the World [Part III]
140 The Gift [Part IV]
141 Belonging [Part 1]
142 Over the Rainbow [Part 2]
143 Through the Looking Glass [Part 3]
144 There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb [Part 4]

Buffyverse Season 06:
145 Heartthrob
146 That Vision Thing
147 That Old Gang of Mine
148-149 Bargaining, Parts I & II
150 Afterlife [Part III]
151 Carpe Noctem
152 Flooded
153 Fredless
154 Life Serial
155 Billy
156 All the Way [Part I]
157 Once More, With Feeling [Part II]
158 Tabula Rasa [Part III]
159 Smashed [Part IV]
160 Wrecked [Part V]
161 Offspring [Part I]
162 Quickening [Part II]
163 Lullaby [Part III]
164 Dad [Part IV]
165 Gone
166 Birthday
167 Doublemeat Palace
168 Provider
169 Dead Things
170 Older and Far Away
171 Waiting in the Wings [Part I]
172 Couplet [Part II]
173 Loyalty [Part III]
174 Sleep Tight [Part IV]
175 Forgiving [Part V]
176 As You Were
177 Hell's Bells
178 Double or Nothing
179 Normal Again
180 The Price [Part I]
181 A New World [Part II]
182 Benediction [Part III]
183 Tomorrow [Part IV]
184 Entropy [Part I]
185 Seeing Red [Part II]
186 Villains [Part III]
187 Two To Go [Part IV]
188 Grave [Part V]

Buffyverse Season 07:
*I think I need to rework this season*
189 Lessons
190 Beneath You
191 Same Time, Same Place
192 Deep Down
193 Help
194 Ground State
195 Selfless
196 The House Always Wins
197 Him
198 Slouching Towards Bethlehem
199 Conversations with Dead People
200 Supersymmetry
201 Sleeper
202 Spin the Bottle
203 Never Leave Me
204 Apocalypse, Nowish
205 Bring on the Night
206 Habeas Corpses
207 Showtime
208 Long Day's Journey
209 Potential
210 Awakening
211 The Killer in Me
212 Soulless
213 First Date
214 Calvary
215 Get It Done
216 Salvage
217 Storyteller
218 Release
219 Lies My Parents Told Me
220 Orpheus
221 Players
222 Inside Out
223 Shiny Happy People
224 Dirty Girls
225 Magic Bullet
226 Sacrifice
227 Empty Places
228 Peace Out
229 Touched
230 Home
231 End of Days [Part I]
232 Chosen [Part II]

Angel Season 5:
233 Conviction
234 Just Rewards
235 Unleashed
236 Hell Bound
237 Life of the Party
238 The Cautionary Tale of Numero Cinco
239 Lineage
240 Destiny
241 Harm's Way
242 Soul Purpose
243 Damage
244 You're Welcome
245 Why We Fight
246 Smile Time [Part I]
247 A Hole in the World [Part II]
248 Shells [Part III]
249 Underneath
250 Origin
251 Time Bomb
252 The Girl in Question
253 Power Play [Part I]
254 Not Fade Away [Part II]

Before Buffy Season 8:

Tales of the Vampires:

Fray:

Tales of the Slayers:

Willow - Goddesses & Monsters:

Buffy Season 8:

Season 8, Volume 01: The Long Way Home

*Volume 1 collects issues 1-5:

Season 8, Volume 02: No Future For You

*Volume 2 collects issues 6-10:

Season 8, Volume 03: Wolves at the Gate

*Volume 3 collects issues 11-15:

Season 8, Volume 04: Time of Your Life

*Volume 4 collects issues 16-20:

Season 8, Volume 05: Predators & Prey

*Volume 5 collects issues 21-25:

Tales of the Vampires (1 Shot)

Season 8, Volume 06: Retreat (March 2010)

*Volume 6 collects issues 25-30:

Forthcoming Issues (Sneak Peeks):

Issue #31: Turbulence [January 6, 2010]

Issue #32: Twilight, Part I [Feb 3]

#33: Twilight, Part II [March 3]

#34: Twilight, Part III [April 7]

(Twilight will be unmasked in this issue)

#35: Twilight, part IV

There will be 5 more issues in Season 8, all written by Joss Whedon himself. ;-0)