Sunday, January 10, 2010

After the last entry I read a bit. I took a muscle relaxant to help with my jaw, which knocked me out for hours. They never seem that potent; like they don't make me FEEL tired, but when I do sleep I'm out for a long time and have a hard time waking up.

Michael was bleeding out his ass before and during work. He didn't want to go to the hospital because there's nobody that can cover his shift today, but I talked him into going when it didn't get better after he got home. He's there now. I'm going to join him soon, but I needed to shower and eat first as I'd not eaten in over 12 hours.

Michael just texted me that they've taken him back to a room. They're aware that I'm coming up and that I'm his emergency contact. Michael says I don't have to come up there to see him and that he's fine, but I don't like the thought of him in the hospital all by himself. :-0(

My breakfast is coming back up. Trying to be relaxed. Trying to be ok.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:00 AM
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I was just walking out the door when Michael called me to let me know that he was ok and on his way home; internal hemmoroids. Ouch. He might have today off as a result and if so, plans to come cuddle with me. Already bundled up I went out and got the mail and the paper bags we use to collect recyle ready plastic bottles. I talked to Michael for awhile and then planted stuff on my first farm; waiting a few mins for my 2nd farm to be ready then I'll harvest and plant that one. I've got "Battlefield" by Jordin Sparks stuck in my head.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:27 AM
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I watched Dollhouse 2x03 "Belle Chose"; it was ok. There are now only 10 episodes left. 2 of those final 10 are unaired. I can't say I'm sorry that the series is ending. It has moments where it's worthwhile or cool or whatever, but so much of it seems....off. I thought Season 1 ended extremely well. I hope I'll be able to say the same about Season 2. A 26 episode series.

My jaw is still bothering me...but truth be told, it's been bothering me for about 3 months. :-0(

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:02 AM
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I played Trivial Pursuit online. Feel like I'm gonna pass out. Sleepy.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:22 PM
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   Monday, January 11, 2010

Slept from around 12:30pm (Sunday) - 6pm. Woke up to texts from Michael. He was ill and wanting my help so I got some supplies together (with the help of Mark) and headed over there (stopping for crazy bread on the way as I'd not eaten yet). He was crashing in between the bathroom and bedroom. I got him blankets, fed him sips of water and massaged his head. I gave him the other supplies and made sure he knew where everything was while he drifted to sleep. I crawled in his bed, telling him to call me, if he needed me. We slept for about 6 hours. He woke up feeling slightly better; I woke up hungry. I headed home, stopping at Meijer for some groceries - ate. He did laundry, then joined me here. He just did some online stuff, and now where going to watch The Lucy Show. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:23 AM
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We watched 2 episodes of the Lucy Show (I didn't find it funny, and it's outdated roles for women irked me) - and then slept for a few hours. I woke up hungry (again), but refreshed. I ate. I read the news. I wrote this.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:59 AM
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   Tuesday, January 12, 2010

After the last entry, I filed away some Doctor Who soundtrack stuff, and finally got the soundtrack to Children of Earth and filed that away too. I cuddled with Michael. We later had some FANTASTIC SEX.

8==========>

Around this time, Michael got a text from a boy he gave his number to last week, asking if he still wanted a blowjob. Michael showed me the text and deleted it. I thought this was a good sign.

We watched 3 episodes of Lost. Actually, we watched 2 episodes of Lost, and then the food Mark brought me (with my pill) made me super sleepy and I went to bed during the 3rd episode, then Michael headed home. I slept for about 6 hours, which wasn't expected. When I woke, Michael was going to bed. He texted me to let me know he would really like a blowjob if I ever say it's ok.

That last bit troubled me. What if I was never ok with him getting blown by other guys? What if my jaw is never fixed? Would I lose Michael because of this? I didn't respond to the text as I was thinking about all this, and then I didn't call him because he said he was going to bed. He later called me, having trouble sleeping and we talked about it and he assured me that if I was never ok with it we just wouldn't do it. I think I should talk to him about it again though, because I don't want him to be hanging on the chance that I might say yes; I wouldn't want to disappoint him...and if that's something he needs, we should end this now before we're both hurt more than we need to be. Erg.

I hate that my jaw doesn't work anymore. It's not just the almost constant pain - it's this aspect of my sex life is gone; vanished without warning. One thing that's helped slightly is that in the last week or so we've been fucking on a level we'd not had before, with some new moves and some new outcomes. It's refreshing...fun, and a complete departure from my past, which is something the last year was filled with until my jaw put a stop to my eating and stuff. I want my jaw to be fixed for sex and this horrible constant pain - but also so I can go back to eating all manner of new things again...it seems so unfair that I lost the ability to eat new things only months after starting to do so. When I think about it I find it terrible distressing and depressing, so I try to not think about it. :-0(

I have a doctor's appointment in early March with an expert to try to find out what's going on with my jaw, but even that is stressful as it's bound to get very expensive very fast and I can't pay... And I'm extremely worried that they're just going to tell me that it's all for nothing and that it can't be fixed... I don't know if I can deal with that.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:36 AM
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Did some checking on how Caprica is fairing. It looks like Caprica is likely to have a split season the way BSG Seasons 2 & 4 did...which I think sucks, but I'm hooked at this point so it's too late to write it off. The series will have a 17 episode first season including the pilot. Upcoming installments of 1.0 include:

01 Pilot [01/22/10 - both missing scenes from the DVD release, and including scenes not seen on the DVD]
02 Rebirth [01/29/10]
03 The Reins of a Waterfall [02/05/10]
04 Know Thy Enemy [02/12/10]
05 [02/19/10]
06 [02/26/10]
07 [03/05/10]
08 [03/10]
09 [03/10 - Midseason Finale]

Season 1.5 would most likely return in October.

If the season is split I wish it would run slightly later in the year; at least until Doctor Who starts. lol.

In a recent twitter Jane Esponson mentioned that she just got studio notes on the finale (to 1.5) and that the studio made reference to Season 2, so hopefully, we'll be getting at least 1 more season of Caprica.

I feel sleepy again. Gonna lay down for a bit.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:22 AM
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Couldn't sleep.

The full list of K9 episode titles (for Season 1 at least) has been released. I went back and posted them in my recent Who rant, but here they are as well:

1x01 Regeneration [Part I]
1x02 Liberation [Part II]
1x03 The Korven
1x04 The Bounty Hunter
1x05 Sirens of Ceres
1x06 Fear Itself
1x07 Fall of the House of Gryffen
1x08 Jaws of Orthrus
1x09 Dreameaters
1x10 The Curse of Anubis
1x11 Oroborus
1x12 Alien Avatar
1x13 Aeolian
1x14 The Last Oak Tree
1x15 Black Hunger
1x16 The Cambridge Spy
1x17 Lost Library of Ukko
1x18 Mutant Copper [Part I]
1x19 The Custodians [Part II]
1x20 Taphony and the Time Loop
1x21 Robot Gladiators
1x22 Mind Snap
1x23 Angel of the North
1x24 The Last Precinct
1x25 Hound of the Korven [Part I]
1x26 Eclipse of the Korven [Part II]

Looking at that list, and thinking on how most of fandom views the Who Specials as part of Season 30 and the 11th Doctor's adventures as Season 31, I started to think I might combine both into my Season 31 of the Whoniverse list to avoid confusion - and list 1 massive season which would include the Doctor Who Specials from 2008-2010, plus Season 31, Seasons 2-4 of Sarah Jane, Seasons 3-4 of Torchwood, and Season 1 of K9! This means what I thought was Season 31 is just a first step and I won't know how the season really works until Autumn 2010 at the earliest (depending on when Torchwood Season 4 airs - though it's possible if it doesn't air in 2010 it might be dropped from the season). My mind is racing with the possible crossover potentials. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:44 AM
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Listening to 'Bladerunner Blues' while the glow from the snow drifts into my room... Lovely.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:14 AM
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   Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I did mostly random stuff yesterday until around 4pm when I finally went to bed. I slept until 9:30pm. I had spoken to Michael on the phone earlier, who'd told me one of his Arby's people had a blood clot in her lung and almost died and was now in UofM Hospital; he was planning on bringing her flowers and then stopping by my place, only he wasn't there so I was very worried. Only she didn't want visitors so Michael went home, not texting me cause he knew I was asleep. He went to bed. I harvested my farm and posted a new old pic of me as a kid (the latest thing on Facebook) when Travis called me. I was planning on going right back to bed, and Travis would have let me go, but I figured it would be fine...but the conversation extended over an hour or so and by the time we finished I was making one of my shakes (Boost, Soy / Coconut creames, Tofu, Silk) to sooth my throat, as I'd started coughing. I drank that and posted some other pix on Facebook, then went back to sleep. I woke up about 10 minutes ago. A train went by just after I woke. I checked my mail and then wrote this.

Michael is planning on coming over after work tonight, which should be around 5 or 6 I think.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:50 AM
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   Thursday, January 14, 2010

Michael did come over in the evening, picking up Little Caesars for himself, Mark & I. I went to bed soon after, while Michael watched Buffy downstairs and did work related stuff. He later joined me in bed and we slept for several hours. I got up later; we had sex, twice. We talked. We cuddled. Some of it was intensely erotic.

Earlier in the day (Wednesday), Michael got another text from this guy who wants Michael to fuck him. It kind of turns me on, but I've made it clear that this fantasy of Michael being with another man might never come to be, and that despite us toying with the idea, his going behind my back or lying to me is out of the question, and not something that I would tolerate. Some of the things we discussed involved this guy. It will be interesting to see how this plays out despite it making me slightly nervous.

Now Michael is sleeping. Mark is too, though he's getting up soon for a doctor's appointment. Michael needs to get up around noon to go to Staples for printer ink, and then his grandmother's to drop of some money he owes her. He also needs to stop at a bank to get Mark the money he owes him for the phone. I'll probably be going with Michael on thes errands, though Michael has said that he most likely won't be staying here tonight. Perhaps I'll stay with him?

I was rewatching LOST with Michael, but I've decided it's too soon for me to do the rewatch thing, and I'm just going to see if my discs work in his player so he can watch and catch up to where I am and then we can go from there together. He still has just over 1 season of Buffy to rewatch first though. We've not started Robotech, and I've not touched my book in a few days.

I'm going to have a snack, and then see if I can't get a bit more sleep.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:04 AM
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I just read that "Spartacus: Blood and Sand", which is a new series that I'd like to see, begins airing the same night as Caprica beings and Dollhouse ends; 1 week from tomorrow. Smallville also returns that night; January 22. Looks like I'll have some stuff to watch soon. ;-0)

Caprica is rumored to have a split season, with the first 9 episodes airing between January 22 & March 19. Spartacus is likely to air it's complete 13 episode season consecutively, so ending on April 16; it's already been renewed for a 2nd season. The new Doctor Who has consistantly begun it's seasons between late March & early April; often airing around Easter:

2005: March 26 / Easter: March 27
2006: April 15 / Easter: April 16
2007: March 31 / Easter: April 8
2008: April 05 / Easter: March 23
2009: April 11 / Easter: April 12

Easter falls on April 4 this year. Here's hoping Who begins sometime between March 27 (it airs on Saturdays) & April 17. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:37 AM
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My belly has been upset all morning so I've not been able to get any more sleep. I feel tired and cranky. Trying not to let it get to me. Perhaps food would help? I never did have that snack.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:40 AM
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Had a snack. Didn't help with the cranky part. And despite my taking a pill it's fighting to come back up. Blah. This morning sucks so far.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:33 PM
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This link seems to confirm that 2 upcoming titles for Doctor Who are "Vampires in Venice" & "Vincent & the Doctor". Titles that have been rumored for some time now. If the other info surrounding these episodes is correct these would be episodes 6 & 10. See my previous Who Rant for more info.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:40 PM
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   posted by Bald Jason at 02:01 PM
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   Friday, January 15, 2010

I had a HORRIBLE migrain yesterday. It killed my plans with Michael, who I didn't end up seeing much of, which has me feeling kind of lost and depressed actually. Not just that I didn't see him, but other feelings and sensations I've gone through in the last 48 hours: dark edged pleasures that may leave me bleeding far after the pleasure has faded. Hopefully I'm just being dramatic and the pleasure was simply pleasure...and a stepping stone to trust. Otherwise I fear the end of things dear to me.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:24 AM
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I slept a little after the last entry. I woke up feeling calm, yet shut-in. I sometimes feel like I can't surrender and enjoy certain things...even television on occasion. Like I'm wasting my time. Today I feel like organizing things. Like trying to put things in perspective. Wish me luck.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:18 PM
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I cleaned my room a bit. I spoke to Mark about other projects I'd like to do. I ate. The drugs to let me eat make me sleepy. Almost all my drugs now make me sleepy; hard to fight it. I spoke to Michael on the phone on his way to work. I miss him. I watched the first really awesome episode of Dollhouse's 2nd Season (2x04 Belonging); it gives me hope that the glimmers of brilliance at the end of Season 1 weren't flukes, and perhaps the series could end well. It's an extremely flawed series that I feel could have been better with more prep time, but as long as it ends well I'll be happy.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:12 PM
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   Saturday, January 16, 2010

I started working on reorganizing my closet, but to get most of the stuff in there moved around I'm gonna need boxes. We have boxes but lack the packing tape to seal the boxes so I can put stuff in the boxes. Haven taken a muscle relaxant for my jaw, and with Mark having isssues of his own I couldn't get the tape I needed, so the closet thing was a bust. I sorted a few random things, but the majority remains where it was.

I tried calling Michael later & I was so tired from lack of sleep and the drugs that I don't think I was making any sense in the voicemail; I caught myself repeating things 3 times, then decided to take a nap from 6:40pm - 10pm, then extended that by an hour. I then harvested and planted my farm, and harvested Michael's. I'll plant something on his around 1am so he'll be home to harvest it.

Hm. I'm trying to stay awake until around 4am. That's when Michael goes to bed usually, and I'm trying to get our sleep scheduals in sync but I have a really hard time controlling mine; always have.

I'm thinking of setting aside my Robotech book for awhile and starting something else, but I'm not sure what. Possibly the 2nd Abarat book.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:13 AM
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Did the farm thing with Michael. Not that farm thing. Get your mind out of my sex life.

We had some conversations that covered old ground, but uncovered some new facets. I'm still not sure of what we may yet unearth, but I hope it's beatiful rather than deadly. Perhaps it will be both, but that's something I'd like to avoid.

I just watched the next episode of Dollhouse (2x05 The Public Eye). It continued the awesomeness that was "Belonging". It wasn't quite as good, I don't think, but it was in the league of episodes that I consider worthwhile; a huge improvement over early Season 1 episodes, though I have to give them credit for referencing those early episodes so often (sometimes in quite subtle ways) so that they seem more important than they were. I mean...they are important, but I think they're still crap that could have been handled a lot better. The finale to the series is on next week; I have 7 episodes to watch before then, and I suspect (though I don't know for sure) that the 7th of those episodes will have a kind of ending for the present storyline of the series, while the finale will hopefully answer some of the grander questions of the show, especially relating to last season's DVD only epilogue episode "Epitaph One".

Actually, I've just read that the finale has been delayed a week and will not air until January 29, 2010. Not what I was hoping for, but I think I'll still continue watching the episodes and merely wait for the finale; perhaps watch "Epitaph One" again just before. I suspect "Epitaph Two: Return" as the finale is called, will be more of an epilogue to the series than a classic finale.

I might have to rewatch Dollhouse to get a better feel for how I'd rate the episodes now, but here's how I'd rate them based on my memory of them on a scale from 1 to 5 stars - 1 or 2 stars are what I consider crappy episodes - 3 stars are what feel like average but not terrible tv - 4 stars are better than average - and 5 stars are true gems:

1x01 Ghost *
1x02 The Target *
1x03 Stage Fright **
1x04 Gray Hour **
1x05 True Believer **
1x06 Man on the Street ****
1x07 Echoes **
1x08 Needs ****
1x09 Spy in the House of Love *****
1x10 Haunted ***
1x11 Briar Rose *****
1x12 Omega ****
1x13 Eptaph One *****
2x01 Vows ***
2x02 Instinct **
2x03 Belle Chose ***
2x04 Belonging *****
2x05 The Public Eye ****

Still to come...

2x06 The Left Hand
2x07 Meet Jane Doe
2x08 A Love Supreme
2x09 Stop-Loss
2x10 The Attic
2x11 Getting Closer
2x12 The Hollow Men
2x13 Epitaph Two: Return

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:37 AM
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I can't sleep. Funny. I was so tired. I just have this horrible feeling in my head. I watched another Dollhouse (2x06 The Left Hand) and started the next one (2x07 Meet Jane Doe), which is apparently the final 3rd of a 3-part story arc; I was really enjoying it too...and then suddenly I felt all overwhelmed with emotion. Not sure what's going on. Perhaps I'm crazy after all. I'd call Michael but he went to bed like an hour ago.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:20 AM
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