Sunday, April 18, 2010

I had trouble sleeping last night. Headache. Then nightmares of war and violence. I worked on Michael's farm before sleep and my own as well. More when I woke. Spoke to Michael on the farm around 11am and then later on the phone. Slept with headache again. Watched the season finale of Spartacus which ended well, though the character I most wanted dead did not fall. Working on the farms now.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:44 PM
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Having an odd day. Had a an odd yet erotic encounter; am I losing my mind? Here's a really good Q & A with one of the writers of Spartacus - which makes me very excited for any future seasons.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:04 PM
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Chatted with Mollie on Yahoo (THANKS Mollie!). Also chatted with John, Kurtis & Jeff. All of it supportive. I'm doing the dishes. Mark & I are both doing laundry. I cleaned up my room a bit. We're going to Kroger in a minute.

Mark's surgery is in the morning; I'm starting to get nervous about it. I hate the idea of anything bad happening to Mark. I really, really hate it. :-0( But everyone seems to be saying it won't be that bad...and it does sound a lot less invasive than my surgery. I'll try to be hopefull. I have to be there with him tomorrow though the thought kind of terrifies me. I'll be the supportive best friend but surgery scares the hell out of me now.

Just Breathe.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:55 PM
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   Monday, April 19, 2010

Talked to Michael; we may have some issues which could bust us up. I'm not happy about this. Still...had a good talk and later some yahoo fun. He went to bed. I was gonna crawl into bed but remembered I had clothes in the washer and Mark said he'd need it in the morning. I need to try to sleep now.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:55 AM
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Is awake. Barely. Gonna jump in the shower.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:05 AM
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After showering and shaving, and dressing and almost walking out the door, my stomach (which was upset last night) prevented me from joining Mark & his father. I would have gone but Mark could see how it was paining me to go and told me it was fine for me to stay home as his father was with him; saying that he wanted me to go but that as he knew me so well, that he understood what was going on with me.

That makes 1 of us.

Michael is starting to tell me that I'm too high maintenance. That he wants someone that can go out in the sun more often; who's stomach isn't often upset; who doesn't have headaches all the time. That made me feel really special... I feel broken. Like the broken toy that nobody wants to play with for long. It seems so rich coming from Michael, whom I've forgiven and given so many chances to after ripping out my heart so many times. I guess my nearly boundless forgivness just wasn't enough. This leaves me feeling, after his words and my failure this morning, as though I have nothing to give a potential partner. I hate myself sometimes.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:33 AM
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Mark's surgery went extremely well and he feels fine. I got a short nap. Watched the new Desperate Housewives. Spoke to Michael on the phone a few times; probably head over to his place soon.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:23 PM
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   Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Had great sex with Michael Monday night. We went to the store where he bought me 'Ponyo'. We later watched the 'Alvin & the Chipmunks' movie, which was ok. Michael loves those kinds of movies; he's kind of like a big kid with his entertainment choices. Tuesday we mostly chilled. An afternoon nap led to more sex. I went home later that day. The issues that were raised the other night were mostly just set aside for now but they could be disasterous in the near future. Hopefully things work out, and if they don't...hopefully we won't be too damaged.

I did watch 'Ponyo' last night and thought it was a lot of fun. The thing I like about Miyazaki movies is that even if I don't love them, the visuals are aleways pleasing and surprising...and the characters always do things that I'd never expect them to do. I was pleased. And the little boy in the movie reminded me of Mark's nephew Nick.

I slept. It took awhile to get to sleep. Death thoughts kept me awake, but when I finally did sleep I slept well and long. I had a stomach cramp when I went to bed that has stayed with me all day. Also, I've been throwing up since Sunday. Ick. I hate that my pills aren't working. I feel exhausted.

I watched the new Glee today, then watched 3 more episodes of Lost. I have 2 more and I'm done with Season 4. That will leave me with 2 seasons (35 episodes) to go. The series ends next month.

I need to take Mark to Secretary of State (for the plates) and the pharmacy. I really don't feel up to doing these things but Mark can't do them on his own so I'll do my best. I'd love to take a nap right now. I just took a shower and threw up most of my lunch... I feel used up and a nap would really help right now. Oh well.

Oh. Also read that Scream 4 will be filming in and around Ann Arbor. How weird is that?

Also, while I was away, it was announced that the 11th Doctor & 3rd Doctor companion Jo Grant will be appearing in 2 episodes of Sarah Jane!?! How cool is that!?!

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:13 PM
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   Thursday, April 22, 2010

Later Wednesday I took Mark to renew our plates, then went to Kroger to fill a perscription (my treat), then got gas and Little Caesars. Tried a new soda. Talked to Mollie, Karen, Trevor & Michael. Mollie & Karen aren't enjoying the 11th Doctor at all. Read a bit. Had a terrible time trying to sleep, but when I did sleep, I slept well.

I spoke to Michael today. Been watching LOST. Finished Season 4 & started Season 5. I now have 34.5 episodes left (5 of which haven't aired yet). Michael has been watching 'Being Human'. I also started watching season 3 of 'Secret Diary of a Callgirl' as I was finally able to get my hands on it. I've seen the first 3 episodes; just 5 more to go.

I'm gonna have a shake now and watch some more LOST.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:59 PM
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