Sunday, September 4, 2011

I was gonna walk yesterday...then the power went out several
times before it stayed out. I stayed in and read more than I
have in ages. In some ways it was wonderful. I didn't know
that Shane was a few blocks away on a date...which I found
out when the power came back on sometime between 1 & 4
pm (I was asleep) Blah. Sad now. Oh well. I hope it works out
for them. Maybe this will make it easier for us to be friends.
Sort of sad the power came back on now.

I have the new Doctor Who.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:22 PM
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Talked to Donny today for the first time on the phone. The
conversation went well. It made me feel better.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:31 PM
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Doctor Who 6x09 Night Terrors was sort of stupid. Yet it
wasn't stupid because it made no sense or was crap...it was
just sort of stupid. It reminded me of "Fear Her", which was
also sort of stupid...and just took a long time to get to the
point.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:27 PM
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   Monday, September 5, 2011

I did the dishes. Cleaned up the living room & my bedroom. I
was going to go to Meijer but I got run over by a runaway
migraine! I took some Excedrin Migraine but it's only taken
the edge off. I'll probably take some Ibuprofen and go to bed
in a bit. I want to watch last night's penultimate episode of
True Blood Season 4...and start reading "Murder of Angels",
the sequel to Silk.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:28 AM
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   Sunday, September 11, 2011

I skipped the bar Friday night. I watched the finale of
Torchwood: Miracle Day. I enjoyed it. Season 4 isn't my
favorite, yet it had a lot to offer. I hope we get a 5th
Season, or at the very least that Jack will turn up on Doctor
Who again at some point.

Saturday I slept. A lot. I watched the new Doctor Who
(6x10 The Girl Who Waited) which I loved. I also went out
to Plastic Passion at Necto, and then went to Aut Bar. I saw
lots of people I knew (Johnny, Tom, Ryan S., Jim, Felix,
Cameron, Redcloud) and met more (Steve, Ron, Evan,
Aaron, Joe)...and all in all it was good night.

I've picked up where I left off in my rewatch of the
Whoniverse. This weekend I've watched:

29x12DW3x04 Daleks in Manhatten [Part I]
29x13DW3x05 Evolution of the Daleks [Part II]
29x14TW1x08 They Keep Killing Suzie
29x15DW3x06 The Lazarus Experiment

Actually, I've not finished 'Lazarus' yet.

I've been awake since about 9pm and I'm very tired. I've
got a splitting headache. I've done laundry. I've done the
dishes. I've sorted the trash and made my bed. I'm gonna
go to bed soon. I'm hoping to go the Cherry Republic and
the bank tomorrow; hopefully get a walk in. The season
finale of True Blood is on tonight.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:02 PM
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   Monday, September 12, 2011

I went to bed soon after the last entry, but I woke up around
11pm.

Andy Whitfield, the star of Spartacus who left the series to
battle cancer died on Sunday. :(

I'm possibly approaching some interesting drama; not sure
how I'm going to handle that or if I'm making something out
of nothing.

I chatted with a guy last night (not the source of this possible
drama). He's a good kid and I hope things work out for him.

I had a horrible headache earlier, and it's better now...but it's
still BAD. At least I can look at the screen without wanting to
cut out my eyeballs.

Mark's coming home today. He's having lunch with Felix and I
may meet them. I'm planning on walking downtown today
anyways to give Johnny his new disc. Blah.

Fuck. This drama thing is something I just knew was gonna
bite me in the ass someday. Erg.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:04 AM
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   Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I met Mark & Felix for lunch on Monday. Felix was a dick,
which is rather surprising since he barely has one. Mark
was obviously surprised by Felix's tude. We visited Johnny
Vaughn afterward. Mark headed back to work and I chilled
with Johnny for a few hours, then walked to Cherry
Republic for some Cherry Jelly. On my way to Starbucks I
ran into my friend Charlies Lindsay. We chatted it up and
eventually ended up walking and talking for several hours.
I was exhausted when I finally got home, but felt
energized and inspired by the conversation with Charles.
Hearing about how he and his friends viewed me back in
the day versus how I saw myself, both then and now...it
made me want to get back to the version of me that
existed a few years ago. Not in a 'recapture your youth
kind of way' - more like getting back on the horse and
riding better because you've learned from the experience.

I slept for 4 hours (a habbit I'm trying to break) and when I
woke I took some Tylenol PM, which I'd never had before -
and it was actually really cool. Like...it helped my
headache...it helped my jaw...and it kind of gave me a
buzz. And it didn't make me tired all the next day the way
a muscle relaxant does.

On Tuesday I had eggs for breakfast. I had another
headache but it passed eventually and I went downtown
again. I visited Mark & Johnny. Got some coffee and
walked home. Later I went to Kroger (2 of them), RiteAid &
Little Caesars with Mark. I got a new perscription at Rite
Aid which sounds like it MIGHT help prevent my migrains
though I'm not sure if it will work as I suspect they're more
tied into my jaw troubles than anything else.

I watched the Season 4 finale of True Blood last night. It
was the best finale since season 1...probably better than
that. Nice.

I slept. Woke up 4 hours later. Blah. I don't know why I'm
not sleeping better. I think I'm gonna shave off my beard
in a bit - it's starting to itch. Blah. I still haven't read any
more of my book.

Oh. I wrote an awesome poem yesterday...and I want to
write more. And I want to work on my website. I just want
to get back to the sexual freak poet that I used to be. A
lot. :)

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:33 AM
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I'm having a good day so far. Mark and I chilled and goofed
off, then we went for a walk downtown. We went to Arbor
Brewery for lunch then headed home. He just headed out to
Gen's and will be back tomorrow. I'm gonna shave off my
beard, change my clothes as it's slightly chilly out and then
go chill with Charles for a bit. Probably pop in to see Johnny
too.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:51 PM
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   Sunday, September 18, 2011

After the last entry, on Wednesday, I did shave my beard
and walk downtown to see Johnny & Charles. It was chilly
so I wore warmer clothing than in the morning but it
warmed up for a bit so was actually quite warm on the way
there. I dropped off a cd for Johnny (Billie Piper) then
headed over to the library where Charles was. We hung
out for a few hours and when we left the library the
weather had changed dramatically. It was much colder and
darker and a storm was coming. We went to see Johnny for
a bit, who was busy entertaining an ex-bf of his, and then
I got some HOT coffee to warm me which didn't help.
Charles and I parted company and I walked home in the
freezing rain, which was NOT fun. lol. But I tried not to let
it bother me and I think I had a good night.

Thursday was chilly too. I drove to my therapy
appointment, which again, went well. I only have 4
appointments left, plus I've having a psych eval and
another appointment with a nurse which I should have had
ages ago. A little sad about that...slightly vulnerable, but if
my current state of mind is any indication I'm leaving Dr.
Mike in much better head space than when I met him. And
I know that if things ever get bad again or I have another
problem that seems overwhelming, I'll hopefully be able to
get back in. After my appointment I met Mark for lunch,
then headed home and tried to relax.

On Friday I did some artwork :) I also started playing a
scrabble type game with Mollie. Mark took me to get some
groceries after he got home from work and then took the
car to visit Gen for the weekend. I had originally planned
to go to Necto to see a friend's cousin, but I was feeling
exhausted and EXTREMELY relaxed and I decided to chill at
home instead. I slept early, and for a very long time - it
was fantastic.

Saturday I watched the first new Clone Wars episode (4x01
Water War) which I found boring, but I might not have
been in the best mood for it. Later I watched the new
Doctor Who (4x11 The God Complex) which I enjoyed
quite a lot. I believe the next week's episode begins the
multi-part finale. Later I traded texts with Michael, which
was emotional but important. Later still I walked down to
Out Fest to meet Charles. The festival far more limited
than in years past but the company was fantastic and
Charlies and I met Michael (34 from Ypsi) and Joe (28,
magician's apprentice, originally from Saginaw) who were
fun; Joe especially. We were there for MAYBE an hour and
then walked back to the condo. The whole point of
meeting was so that Charles could return with me and
crash here. I got him to watch some Doctor Who which he
LOVED and we had some great conversation, both of us
going to sleep around 4am.

I woke up at 8am. The damned 4 hour curse has begun
again. Blah.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:37 AM
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   Monday, September 19, 2011

After the last entry I messed around online until Charles
woke up. We chilled for a bit. I got him to take a shower and
he had to go to work. I didn't do much the rest of Sunday. I
was a bit out of it. I slept at odd hours.

Monday morning I was still feeling weird and was getting a
headache when Mark got home. We showered together then I
took a nap after he went to work. I woke up feeling slightly
better. I did the dishes. I did my laundry. I washed some
towels. I scrubbed down the counter tops / handles in the
kitchen. I scrubbed down everything in the bathroom. I made
my bed and sorted trash and recyle bits. I scrubbed down my
desk. Taking a break from the cleaning fumes in the
bathroom. I may clean a bit more or...not. Not sure. I'll
probably do more laundry but the bigger stuff might have to
wait because I'd like to do some other things. I burnt another
disc for JV & played Farm Town for a bit. I'd like to write
something today...maybe do some art or work on my site. It
was raining, last I checked, but I might go for a walk. I might
upload pictures to facebook or set up some stuff online. And
I'd like to read a bit as well.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:16 PM
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I've not slept since this morning. I feel wiped out...and my
stomach is acting up for some reason. First time in weeks
really. Depression is crashing in. I was going to talk to Mark
about it but he was on the phone with Gen.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:39 PM
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   Tuesday, September 20, 2011

...last night and today were great. Well, mostly great. I
went to Necto last night. Saw Joe from Saturday night with
his apparent gf; he did not mention that bit. I hung out
with R.J., Monica, Jesse...George T. showed up later. Also
met Sarah & Ilyssa...and got very buzzed...and danced a
lot. Later George & I had an interesting conversation, and
near the end of the night I met a guy who'd been sort of
circling me all night, named David...who is all sorts of
cool...and we kissed goodnight. Fantastic morning. Got
home around 4am...uploaded pictures and went right to
sleep...

...for about 3 hours. Got up and drove Mark to work.
Called in my meds. Had breakfast...twice. Couldn't keep it
down. I'm trying not to worry about it. I went to visit Janice
(saw Jerry) and we went to Grandma's; our parents weren't
there but our grandparents, Aunt Marge, Chris & Tina &
Rusty were all there. It was a short but fun visit. I came
home; stopping at Kroger on the way. Wrote a poem for
my friend Tom. Tried to relax.

I'm exhausted. There's so much more I wanted to get done
today. I wanted to get money in the bank. I wanted to buy
an umbrella and some groceries. I wanted to organize the
clutter in my room and take out the trash and go for a
walk. I may still do some of these things but I really want
to sleep. Blah.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:03 PM
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   Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Mark & I went to the store last night and I got that umbrella
and some groceries...we also got our flu shots (THANKS
MARK!!!). We mutually decided that we NEED to get the car
fixed so I loaned him $700.00 to help pay for the repairs...I
have this obnoxious dentist bill to pay and that's pretty much
the end of my savings :( We watched an episode of
Torchwood last night (4x07 Immortal Sins); it's my favorite of
that season and Mark loved it too and even said they should
have started the season with that episode. Really looking
forward to this week's Doctor Who episode.

I slept fairly well last night, but I woke up with a migraine,
complete with scary fireworks that only I could see. It passed.
Later I wrote a poem for David, downloaded shows to watch
later (Chelsea Lately, Glee, Weeds) and went for a walk
downtown. I went to Wendy with Mark, gave JV his new disc,
and we went to Starbucks for yummy treats, then the banks
to transfer my money to Mark's account. I came home.
Showered. Chilling now. I may go back downtown after I eat. I
also might write some more...or sprout wings.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:32 PM
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   Saturday, September 24, 2011

Trying to get stuff done. I've rinsed the dishes and loaded
them in the washer...though I think there are more in Mark's
room. I'm scrubbing down the kitchen and bagging up trash.
Also trying to download all the television shows from this
week. It must be chilly out cause it's freezing in here.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:05 PM
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The living room / kitchen are mostly clean; they at least look
WAY better than they did. All the clutter has been picked up;
the floor has been vacumed. The counters & floor and
handles in the kitchen have been scrubbed. The dishes are
washing in the dishwasher. I have laundry in the washer and
dryer. My bed is made. The trash has been emptied in the
bathroom. Maybe if I finish cleaning I can get some writing
done or go for a walk? Feeling much better today than
yesterday...so far. I've not really eaten anything today so I'm
not sure how my stomach is doing. I want to shave though. I
texted Mark 2.5 hours ago to find out when they'd be getting
here but he hasn't responded; I hope everything is ok.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:33 PM
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   Sunday, September 25, 2011

Gen & Mark came home last night. It was kind of touch
and go. Like...we didn't haven't any arguments...exactly,
but she all but admitted that she'd called me a bitch
earlier (she's always referencing things that happened
when I wasn't around and then when I ask what she's
talking about she dodges and it's really obnoxious). There
were a few moments where I thought we would argue but I
never raised my voice or said anything rude. I've never
known anyone like her before...it's EXHAUSTING talking to
her most of the time because she's so reactionary and
acussatory that every little thing I say has to be thought
out and rethought out and I'm not used to bending over
backwards to not upset someone.

Beyond that, I picked up Charles and he so saved my
night! He made me laugh and I love his voice and it was all
good. Mark & Gen actually went to bed really early. We all
got up around 10am. Mark drove Charles to work. I
managed to have a conversation with Gen which was less
terrible. And then we all got dressed because Roger &
Donna (Mark's dad & step-mom were coming over) so that
they could go out to eat and meet Gen.

I watched the new Doctor Who...in sections, throughout all
of that, so I don't think I got it. I feel like I should have
loved it, but didn't. I have however watched the twist
ending like 6 times now, and the mini-episode that
followed it. I'm very interested in what will happen in the
finale. I'm also looking forward to all the mini-episodes
we'll get (we'll be getting at least 6, possibly 8)...the 6
final Sarah Jane episodes (which I've heard won't end
well...which is hopefully wrong) and the Christmas Special.
Then a big vacation from Whoniverse land - but I'll be able
to share the correct order with my friends at last :)

I feel a bit out of it. It's like 68 degrees outside so I should
go for a walk but I feel a bit ill, honestly. Plus I feel a bit
out of it in general. I think I might stay in and read. I feel
like...the last 24 hours have been sort of stresful for one
reason or another and I'd like to just relax.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:09 PM
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   Monday, September 26, 2011

I feel like my life is falling apart. Each day brings something
else to lose...something more that's ripped away from me. I
want to cut again. It started on Saturday. Yesterday was even
worse. I was ok for most of today...and then. A lot of things
are colliding in my head again and emotionally I don't know
how to handle it.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:02 PM
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   Friday, September 30, 2011

Rough week. Not all bad, but the darker parts overshadowed
everything...making the brighter bits nearly blinding.

I got back in touch with an old online friend this week,
Jeremy. A nice surprise.

Mark is at Gen's. I'll pick him up on Sunday.

Shawn Foreman is coming over tonight to go to Necto so we
can talk and he can hit on boys. lol. My cousin Joy might be
there too. Shawn is probably crashing here.

Tomorrow is the season finale of Doctor Who, which I'm
looking forward to. I might hang out with Charles or might
go to gigi's bar...or possibly both.

Sunday I'm picking up Mark and he'll watch the new Who
episodes (there will be a mini-episodes on Saturday as well).

I'm doing laundry now. I need to do the dishes. But right now
I have to get ready and get my ass up to my therapy
appointment at 2:45.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:58 PM
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