Thursday, October 13, 2011

The headache this morning got worse, and worse, and
worse, and better, then worse. I finished washing Mark's
laundry and made him breakfast. Then I went to bed.

I slept well, and woke up with no pain. This is good. Mark
made some comments the other day which made it sound
like me driving him out to Gen's is really draining and that
we might be in trouble...and today is when I usually drop
him off so I'm not clear on what's happening. I think it's a
little unfair for him to go there for 4 or 5 days of the week
and then blame me for wanting to have access to a car
during that time. If he only went 1 day a week. Maybe 2,
then it probably wouldn't be an issue for either of us, but
he goes 4 nights a week, which is basically 5 days; that
leaves 2 days where I have access to the car. And he's
gone on Fridays & Saturdays when everything is going on
too. It sucks. I've made my peace with dropping him off
and picking him up. He says it's not fair to Gen to have to
pick him up or drop him off because it costs her more
money, yet, if she's giving him gas money to come there
he hasn't told me, which means that for her, having me
drop him off is completely free; that's quite a savings for
her; it seems like she should be giving him some gas
money, you know? If she really wants him there and he's
the one doing almost all of the driving. It just doesn't
seem fair to Mark.

I got a lot of work done on my website last night, but I
think I need to tear myself away from my computer and
take a shower and maybe a walk if I have time.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:47 PM
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I just need to wash my whites and all my laundry will be
done.

I took that shower! It felt AMAZING :)

It looks pretty scary outside so I'll probably skip the walk. I'm
gonna mix a new cd for the car I think and then get dressed /
put my clothes away.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:18 PM
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Mark's home. He looks terrible. Not physically...just worn
out. He says that he has some good news for me, though he
hasn't told me what it is. He also said that he and Gen are
fighting, which, is why he's depressed, but he hasn't said
why...and I'm terrified that it's because of me, because they
seem to fight about me a lot, and it makes me feel terrible.
Actually, anytime Mark tells me that he has something to tell
me lately my stomach drops because it's almost always
something horrible.

Aside from that, my night is going pretty well. The headache
is still gone. My laundry is put away. I'm working on this new
section of my NEW galleries, which seem to be working out
well. I'm making so much progress! :)

I'm listening to Tori Amos singing "A Case of You". :)

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:43 PM
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   Friday, October 14, 2011

Last night got crazy. Gen & Mark were fighting about
money and me. It was stressful and horrible. Mark & I
watched an episode of Glee and I ate, which was a
mistake. I think I would have been ok if I could have taken
a Xanax but I was waiting to drive Mark to Gen's...which I
eventually did around midnight after a long, emotional
talk with Mark about everything that's going on. We cried.
He said he was sorry for hurting me and breaking his word
to me and tried to make me feel better.

I went to Aut Bar on my way home. Saw Tom & Jeff. Met a
bunch of people. It was a good time. I worked on my
website most of the night. I took a nap before my therapy
appointment, which went really well. It was raining so I
wore my pscycho straight jacket trench coat, which was a
hit with pretty much everyone I encountered. My session
turned out to not be the last, and I'll be seeing Mike again
next Friday.

I visited Johnny at Wendy and met some people. Much
discussion of Doctor Who / Torchwood followed. Johnny
told me he's cut back on the drinking. Nice. I hope it lasts.
He deserves to be happy.

Later I traded texts with Michael. Not sure how that went...

And finally I slept. I slept for about 4 hours I think? Maybe
5. I woke up feeling fine. Not sure what I'll get up to
tonight.

I was planning on working on my new galleries for my site,
but there's a glitch and Mark might be able to fix it, but I
may have to do something far more radical...so I'm gonna
have to put that on hold until he gets back, which SUCKS.
Trying not to worry about that.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:46 PM
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