The first time I ejaculated

I was fucking myself with a makeshift dildo

in my parents' home...

in my bedroom...

on the floor...

I think I passed out from the pleasure.

I awoke...prone,

supplicating to an angry god

who would punish me for such debasement.

The angry god was my father;

a pretender to the throne.

The pleasure surging through my body was my life mother.

She taught me what was right & what was wrong.

She never abandoned me.

She never disowned me or cursed the day I was born.

She has my eternal devotion...

Though the angry god's punishment

may one day rip me from her grasp.