RANTING ABOUT WILLIAM
I saw this boy in a bar over a week ago,
and I wasn't the only one who noticed him.
I wasn't even the only one noticing them noticing.
I was a bit rude to him, though I meant it affectionately.
I later told him I was sorry.
I took him out of that bar and asked him about his life
and listened to him speak about Taylor Trash, money & destitution,
and how he worked all his life so he could depend on himself.
I liked him, at least as much as my cock did.
We kissed goodnight in his truck as time continued to tick away,
He said he would stop kissing every guy that walked up to him -
because now he knew that it was something special –
and eventually I drove home alone,
to wait for his promised e-mail.
He never wrote it.
I figured he'd changed his mind; my website can do that to people.
I saw him today, at about 1:00 AM. He said he'd been looking for me; had been
to my webpage about 12 times; some pictures disturbed him; others "didn't";
he said he was vulnerable; that he'd seen his ex; he told me the boy named Brandon that
was eyeing him really liked him, but he wasn't sure that he wanted him, because when
he was with Brandon, he could only think about me; I took his breath away & if I didn't want him
in my life to just leave him alone. So dramatic. I spilled his drink and bought him a $4 shot; and while
leaving a $3 tip for Erin I looked over to find him kissing Brandon; not a little kiss.
He must really like me a lot to stick his tongue that far into some other guy's mouth. I said I was leaving.
He told me not to. He asked me if I wanted him to tell Brandon that it was nothing. I told him I wasn't going
to play games like this. He asked me if I wanted him. I told him that he already knew the answer. He pulled away,
and when I asked him if he was going to come with me, he told me thanks for the drink.
After I left, in shock, wondering why he wanted/needed us to fail so brutally, I thought maybe I should
swing back around the bar to see if he still needed a ride home. He wasn't there anymore though; neither was Brandon.
He told me, that night that we talked, that his first boyfriend had ruined him, and that he didn't trust anyone. He later told me that he trusted me. I think he needed for this to not work; not ready to risk me screwing him over; so he ended it himself. I hardly knew the boy but I'd caught myself thinking about him ever since the night I first saw him. I'm glad I took him out to talk; I'm glad that I didn't just fuck him, as everybody else seems to want to do. It was HARD not to, but I have a piece of him that the others can't touch. In the restaurant where we spoke, with him open and honest; he was so naked; so hot; hotter than I've ever seen him at the bar.
I hope he'll be alright. I hope... I hope he finds someone he can trust; who he'll let inside for more
than one conversation. I understand that him hurting me tonight must have made him feel safe. I could be wrong,
but if I'm not, I don't mind. That's all I ever wanted anyways.
Written By Jason Wright
JANUARY 30, 2004
- For William Joseph M. -
Be Happy.