17 Yrs Old In 92...Individual Studies Night School Class...

Milan High School Library/Media Center...Alone And Disturbed

By Dreams I've Been Dreaming...Desirable Men Who Touch Forbidden

Places Before Awaking Confused & Alone. I Think I'm Alone. I'll Always Be Alone.

20 Yr Old Arrives Alone But Indifferent....Sad And Angry...But Focused

Through Palpable Pain; His Heart Is Unreachable And All That I've Dreamed Of.

He Takes His Seat As Melting Snow Falls From His Long Dark Lashes.

Opposite Me...He Puts Pen To Paper And Begins To Write.

I Try And Fail: Not To Stare -

Tall And Thin...Rough & Sinewy...Black Silk Hair Looks Natural & Masculine...

Skin Like Candlelight Shining Through Honey Onto Creamy White Surface.

And Light From That Candle Burns Bright In Liquidy Black/Brown Eyes;

Like An Inferno Combusting Beneath Night Shrouded Seas.

His Hands Arms Body Move With An Exotic Air Not Of My World...Nor Of This Earth.

He Stops And Scans The Room And Me; Catches Me Staring & A Look He Gives Me.

Anger? Annoyance? My Decoder Is Broken! I Feel I've Committed The Most

Impolite Of Offenses Against Public Behavioral Standards... He Stands...Breaks

Eye Contact...Turns Inward & Walks Passed Me: I'm Not Even There!

I'm Not Worth Acknowledging... Nothing just Happened... He Is Going...Going...Gone.

I Feel Cold Alone Try Not To Cry...Can't Won't Cry...Want To Die...But Sadness Turns

To Anger & Welcomed Change Exploding Through My Soul! I Don't Deserve Won't Permit

This! I'm On My Feet & Following In Control.

But All Anger Leaves When Stranger Found In Darkened Room Turns To Face The Silent

And Confused...Surprised To Find Me Standing There Lost And Questioning...

"Did You Want Something?" He Asks In Sarcastic Adversarial Voice As If

I Am The Enemy When He Is All I Desire.

"What Do You Want?" His Growing Persistence, Walking Threateningly, Is Painful & I

Can Not Answer: Can't Ever Remember Words.

"What!?!" He Screams & Tears Fall From My Eyes...World Is Falling...Air Is Stifling.

"What?" A Confused Whisper As Teardrop To Finger...Mistook My Intentions...

His Eyes Ask Me Questions That Melt Through My Heart.

The Space Between Bodies Crackles Forever...We Both Understand We're Both Lost

Together...The Look In Our Eyes Of Desire And Yearning...They Draw Us Together...

Our Bodies Are Burning... Is This The End... Oh Please Let It Start!

Bury My Face In His Exposed Throat...Throws Back His Head And Moans: "What....?"

Lust Pierces Skin...Lights The Darkness Within...He Pushes Me From Him & Looks Down

At Me. His Face Wet With Tears In His Blue And Gray Blackness... Leave Me He Must...

But At Last He Is Free... Imprisoned Were We To The Sadness Of Time...Lonely Soldier

Boy Brings His Mouth Down To Mine...& Lost In The Kiss We Forget Space & Time...Our

Sadness & Pain Lost In That Kiss Divine...

"We'd Better Get Back..." My Voice Cracks.

"Wait...What's your Name?" It Is Me That He Asks.

"Jason." I Answer. "What Is Yours, If I Might?"

"Mark." He Replies...Voice Dark Filled With Light.

We Return And Sit At Separate Seats & I Catch Him Staring & We Share A Smile.

I Know That Somehow This Has Happened Before...Another Beginning After Such A Long While.

- For Mark Adams -