AS LONG AS YOU HOLD ME

Sitting quiet and calmly all alone on the brink,

Trying not to care what the others must think,

The pain of my life explodes in my head,

Why am I still breathing when my friends are dead?

Like Dracula I am the last of my kind,

I'm the last to resist the plague they defined,

I'm the only survivor who remembers the others,

And I grieve for them still; for my sisters and brothers.

Tears begin to flow like blood from my wrist,

As memories collide like the mouths that I've kissed,

Why do mothers give life to those they despise?

Why do fathers rape Children? Why do parents tell lies?

And inside I wonder was it the same for my friends?

Were they born in this hell hole where pain never ends?

Did they fight to survive as their souls were abused?

Did they surrender to death? Or were they simply confused?

Did they feel guilty as I do for wanting to die?

Is that why they left without saying good-bye?

And did they shed tears for those left behind?

Or were we the furthest of thoughts from their minds?

If they loved me then maybe...then they should have stayed,

Things might have been different if only I'd prayed,

But maybe I'm jealous of their selfish retreat,

Maybe I'll join them and admit my defeat...

But just when I think that I must succumb,

To return to whatever place our souls come from,

Something reminds me I've more than one choice,

It's that look in your eyes...it's the sound of your voice.

You are the one that makes me face my fears,

With your intimate sorrows and your delicate tears,

You won't let me leave and make me want to stay,

With every smile...every touch...every word that you say.

It's the way that you hold me that makes me believe,

That not everyone hurts you...not all men deceive,

Not everyone leaves when their heart's black and blue,

And maybe this is why that I've fallen for you.

I'm telling you I love you because that's how I feel,

But only time can prove that it's real,

But until time tells us what the outcome will be,

I'll stay with you here...to have and to hold me.

© JANUARY 1996 By Jason Wright