9 years ago I was in a hospital

& I felt everything so very deeply

while dealing with it all so very quietly.

The others are all quiet now.

Now I wander through the days -

Sifting through mathematical haze

of all that's come & gone before...

Black & white photos...

What memories are for;

The dream & desire that still fills me somehow.

I felt...

I remember...

I'm alive...

I still feel.

I felt him against me...

Inside me...

Surreal.

I walk in a daze of hunger

& lightning...

I walk through this maze;

so wondrous;

so frightening...

I talk & I dance & I touch

those who touch me.

I feel & I quake as life

lives & corrupts me.

I whisper & write of all those

that I know.

Wish I was out there with him in the snow...

Wish I could hold him with no one to see.

Wish I could hold him & smile & be

nothing more than what we were together;

A laugh & smile...

A caress; soft & wild...

An interest...

A feather...

A suggestion;

An erection.

All of those things that we were in

this city.

A drink & a sneeze...

Close my eyes...

On my knees...

The taste of his lips

in our complex simplicity.

- For Kent -

A smile in my memory,

that I still feel regardless...