FOR THE DECEASED

I didn't know you -

I never will.

I saw you many times

in magic photographs that

were only skin deep, but were

hot & electric & inspiring.

I saw you in dreams of friendly

meals & conversation.

I didn't know until yesterday

that you had died on March 14th, 2000

or that you had been born on October 27th, 1968.

I didn't know your real name, but now that

I do, I'm filled with questions & wonder why

I didn't seek you out & ask those questions

when I had the chance.

I feel trapped.

Suicide. You mudered yourself.

How? Why? I don't know...

In my mind you are in a hotel room...

Time stops... I kiss you... You cry...

And a mother I never knew says she

won't claim you.

I tell her to fuck off - that she doesn't have

the right because you were mine & always

were.

And in the ashes that fall

from fingertips that knew you -

I dance a memorial

in naked tears that well up for you,

though you never knew me;

never shared that dreamed of kiss;

never understood or felt -

at least not enough -

& I'm sorry.

© DECEMBER 12, 2000 By Jason Wright

- FOR -

RUSSELL CHARLES McCOY