I don't often think of myself as such...

I don't often think of myself surviving...

Because it just doesn't make sense to me...

Maybe it's a defense...

Maybe it's a cowardly front...

Maybe I'm not a loser...

Maybe I just sound like one.

Maybe he meant it affectionately...

& it hit too close to home.

How did I become so fragile?

When did I lose my way?

Why is it now, that I have to ache over every

word inflicted upon me without snapping back

with a quick phrase

a trick daze

that keeps them from ramming their fear

down my throat?

I don't know...

I ramble...

I guess & I gamble...

But I don't know the answers...

& that's all I wrote.