MUSIC OF WANTING

Years are passing faster now -

But NO - they always passed -

And all this slow

burn

building

screaming in my ears

so quiet

slurring.

The tap tap tapping of rain on shaved head

like water torment in a scary cartoon from

childhood memory.

The beat beat beating of my heart that only

beats so that it can one day stop.

The slap of his hand collides with my face before

I hear it, but after I feel it, & after the words that

I have not yet spoken.

The pain exploding behind my eyes...

The tears that no one can see in the rain drenched

darkness of city scape nightmares that I dream

while typing away in well lit bedroom.

The press of his face - hot against mine...

The water is ice cold - his breath warms my cheek,

& his hands warm my own.

The kiss is slow & we both taste the water that bathes us

in our most violent moment... The water is cold & pure...

Our tongues are warm & alive & searching.

Our mouth are locked together in this music of wanting...

The music that stirs me from that frostbitten dream.