PLAYER

Warm skin on me

as I learn of your eyes

on me & your voice

of pain & your suffering

so sweet & loving &

hurtful.

Pain in my eyes

as I think I need sleep

without you here to

see me creep into

that other world

where men reach

out & hold me without

turning away the next morning

& dancing to music that

will never really save them.

Murder is such a pretty word

for such a horrible crime

that no one can understand

till they've experienced it from all

sides & shapes & screaming bloody

murder.

I watched you murder me every

day & every moment that you flew

at me all hands & rage & shit

screaming hated love songs by

pop star diva freaks who inpired

your survival.

I called out through the foulness

you thrust inside my lungs while

kissing me sloppily & pretending to

innocently care for me.

I cried at the dirt & crud & damage

on my skin & my soul as the blood

leaked out of me & down the drain

you left to collect my dreams while

you leaned back & laughed like

a happy little boy child who learned

how to blow bubbles, ride bicycles,

swim, or ride horses.

I saw the cross reflected in the shame

in your eyes as you buried me in that shallow

grave that you barely escaped from but

could never forget or leave behind.

I knew I was dying because the tears wouldn't

flow any longer & the blood had stopped pumping

& my heart had stopped beating; my body stopped

breathing - though when I looked up into your eyes that last time

I felt so sorry for you & for myself that I welcomed

death's desicated fingers...

But no matter how much Death wanted me it couldn't keep me.

Resurrected I smiled,

though it hurt the scorched skin

& it betrayed my broken heart.

I looked into your eyes & I saw all

the horror & all of the insanity & I knew

that I still loved you.

And then I walked away

into a world that sought to burn

more grooves into my pain etched

persona.