That's what I think of myself when I

imagine calling Carlos & saying:

"You want your cock sucked?"

in my most urgent man voice...

"I'll be there in an hour."

But the thought makes me hard

with the memory of his mouth,

his voice, his dick...

I went down oh him in his car

parked just off Liberty Street in

Ann Arbor, Michigan - but that

seems like a lifetime ago.

How many cars has Jason

sucked dick in?

hmmmmmmmm

There was Jeff, & Christopher,

& Mark, & Carlos... that's four

without trying.

Everyone's fucking...

Everyone's dying....

Everyone's shedding tears for the fallen.

Nightmare of AIDS crisis is buried; forgotten.

The diversified crucified;

My art is my coffin.

My writing is life in the presence of death -

My words are priests that confess & protest

what seems so unfair & what is really just life -

My problems are nothing.

My life is my life.

I may be a slut...

But nothing is certain -

All life must end -

And so all life is urgent.