SMILE BOY

I spoke to this guy once;

on line -

on fire -

on acid - only not.

I typed to him for that night only

though I saved a link to his picture

& visited it every so often afterwards.

He had told me that it was too bad

that I lived so far away & after seeing his picture

& reading his words I couldn't help but agree with

him.

His picture is perfect. I don't know how to describe it,

but his smile is so... Well - it's so many things.

His smile lights up his face;

what with his bright golden hair which makes him

seem both punk & masculine: not always an easy

combination.

But that smile seems shy & seductive;

with his country boy stubble & white undershirt.

Think I will send this - what could it hurt?

His eyebrows are thick in the picture - like the high school

boys I used to get hard-ons for while in the shower room,

when I was only in the fourth grade.

His image is burned in my mind & smiles at me from country

roadsides, crowded dancefloors, & house parties drunk on

their own adolescent decadence.

The boy smiles - not knowing that I captured that smile & have

kept it safe inside.

The smile boy - I do not know him - which is tragic & magical.

But maybe he'll read this & know that I meant it...

That I'm not out to stalk him...

Not out to harm him...

Not out to have him.

I'm not a believer but his somehow smile -

His frozen visage -

His lack of denial, deceit or dsguise -

Inspired me this far -

In spite of my old scars -

Despite of the cold stars -

I still smile at guys.

© OCTOBER 2, 2000 By Jason Wright

-For "Benjamin Jeanotte"-

Who I Hope Will Still Smile When He Reads