SUFFERING IN HEAVEN

uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

This Is What It Was Like In The Hospital.

I Stayed There For Two Weeks

And Never Masturbated Once.

I Looked Out My Window And Watched As Brian Got Ready For Bed.

He Pulled The Shade Down Eventually And I Was Compelled

To Observe His Silhouette.

Those Moments Were So Erotic... So Magical...

And Yet I Never Brought Myself To Orgasm.

Never Tipped My Hand, So To Speak...

And It Is The Same Now With Joshua.

I Look Out Into The Darkness

And The Memory Of His Visit To This Apartment Affronts Me.

I'm Compelled To Watch...

Feeling Sad, And Strange,

With A Tumultuous Stirring In My Belly.

I'm Hard...And I'm Hungry...

His Lips Are Beautiful.

But This Suffering For His Caress...

This Longing...

Is Wonderful.

In The Absence Of Lovers...

This Suffering Is Heaven.

But All Sins Are Forgiven

In The Afterglow Of His Mortuary Smile.