I've had more than one person tell me after reading this page that after the reading there was no "mystery" left, so for those of you who want or need there to be mystery, feel free to stop reading now, as you have now be warned. However, those of you who want to know what I'm into, or what I'm not, please, by all means, soldier on.
BALD JASON'S SEXUALITY:
Last Updated: June 18, 2011.
Sexual Identity/Preference: Queer/Gay. I've been attracted to men for as long as I can remember. That said, I am attracted to some women. As a result of this attraction to women I first came out of the closet as bisexual, but learned quickly enough that my attraction to women was fleeting at best, and would never sustain a heterosexual relationship. I have never dated a woman since reaching that conclusion in 1995; though even when I did date women, I made sure they were all well aware of my attraction to men, before we became involved. The last time I had sex with a woman was in the year 1999. Because of this openness to sex with women, not to mention my frequent crushes on female-to-male transsexual boys, I'm often referred to in gay circles as Queer; this is most likely an apt term, but when asked I always identify myself as gay. I do this not to hide my sexual attractions in an effort to fit in, nor out of some sense of shame, rather out of a sense of unity; a common cause; and my own sense of identity. I'm gay. And I don't hide that fact from anyone. To read more about my sexual history, click on the appropriate link below.
Sexual History: I was molested by my father when I was 4 or 5. I became willingly sexually active shortly afterwards; acting out, as they say. I've been sexually active most of my life. Yet I can name every partner I've ever had, assuming that they all told me the truth about their names, which I'm pretty sure at least 1 of them did not. As of December, 2008, I've had sexual relations of some kind (including EVERYTHING) with less than 100 people. If you only include intercourse as a criteria as many people seem to do, then I've had relations with less than 30. For a list of my sexual partners (last names not included for their privacy) click here.
As far as side effects of my abuse go, sexually I find it hard to allow others to get me off. I enjoy sex. But I prefer to finish myself off, and often when others are close to making me cum, I find it very difficult to surrender and allow them to do that; sometimes I find it impossible. I also get off on a certain amount of humiliation, though this is not always required, as I've had many partners that were wonderful, and treated me with great respect - but when someone says or does something that's a bit over the line, my body often becomes aroused. I've learned to balance this response with role playing and such...safe games behind closed doors with people that care about me and wouldn't choose to ever truly hurt me. It's complicated. But it's something that is ever evolving, and I'm inclined to let these things run their course.
HIV Status: HIV- As of Tuesday, May 31, 2011, I've tested negative for HIV. As of early April 2010 I've also tested negative to a variety of STDs. Almost all my partners from the last few years have gotten tested regularly and are negative. I have several friends that are positive, and any of them would tell you that while it's not a death sentence it's nothing you want to get mixed up in if you can help it. I get tested at H.A.R.C., which is really fun actually! (Yeah, I know I'm strange) But seriously, if you need to get tested & you're too embarrassed or worried to get tested by your usual doctor I suggest calling 1-866-HIV-TEST, and finding out your status, both for yourself, & your partner's (or partners') well being.
Relationship Status: Single since July 2010. And loving it. I'm not really looking for sex at the moment, or even a date. If that happens that's fine...I'm just really happy to NOT be with someone who made me feel miserable and really hurt me a lot. He cheated with like 20 guys. He lied. He risked my health and well being. And I'm really still finding my way back to who I was before I let him hurt me.
Masturbation & Toys: I masturbate all the time, and I don't really understand those that don't. It's safe, effective, and it's a lot of fun. I often masturbate to porn stories or videos. I sometimes go for 3 or 4 days without jacking off but I end up getting rather cranky; inevitably, one of my close friends will pick up on this and tell me in no uncertain terms that I need to go blow a load. lol I've known men and women that say they don't masturbate, which may or may not be true; but I prefer people who masturbate and are open about it, and not just because the thought of men stroking their dicks turns me on. I mean, if a guy doesn't know what turns him on, and what gives him pleasure, then how am I supposed to know what he needs. The same goes for women who pride themselves on the fact that they never touch themselves "down there"; how are their partners ever going to satisfy them (let alone how these women will ever find sexual satisfaction on their own). Masturbating alone can be as fast or slow, dull or intense as you make it; you get out of it what you put into it. Masturbating with a partner can be a very satisfying aspect in a sexual relationship. I sometimes use toys when I masturbate (Dildos, Vibrators, Butt Plugs, Masturbation Sleeves, Cock Rings), to enhance the experience. On occasion I've also used toys with a partner to great effect.
Cock Size: I honestly have no idea how long or thick my erect penis is; I've never measured it, which is something of an oddity, or so I've come to understand. The reasoning for this lack of self knowledge is rather intricate and complex, but suffice it to say that I've never cared to know. My own endowment or lack thereof has never been a problem for me; it's never been a source of worry or shame; at least not in any typical way. I love being a guy. I love being a guy who has sex with other guys. And I've always been happy with the size of my cock, whether I thought it small or large. If I was asked I'd have to say I consider myself at least average in length, but a bit above average in girth; this I know from experience. That said, I do have something of a fetish for men with small hard-ons (4 inches or less, and pencil thin is really hot). I do not however, date exclusively small dicked men; I'm an open opportunity guy I guess. lol To read more about my size fetish (where it came from, where it's been, where it's going), click on the appropriate link below.
Grower or Shower: I'm a grower. When flaccid I'm very small, but when I'm even half erect you can tell I'm not tiny.
Cut or Uncut: I was obviously circumcised, but I truly wish I'd had some say in the matter, and this sometimes pisses me off. I don't have a preference for cut or uncut men though; both are sexy. I just wish...for myself, that I was still whole, and un-mutilated. Especially since the reasoning behind this butchery is generally asinine.
Other quirky info about my dick: I have Vitiligo (a skin condition that causes loss of skin pigmentation) on my dick. It's not painful. It's not contagious. It's not anything to worry about, and while it made me a bit self conscious at first, none of my partners have ever freaked out about it, while many of them have said they found the ever changing pattern to be hot or beautiful. The closest I've ever gotten to an insult concerning it was when one guy told me that it looked like I had been burned, but even that wasn't said to be insulting; it was just an observation, and a valid one, actually. The condition is much more common, or at least more noticeable in African Americans as they're skin is darker, and the loss of pigmentation more obvious. The guy who told me that I looked like I had been burned also compared my cock to that of a black man's - which again was not meant to be insulting to anyone; just something that he'd noticed on black men in the past, which makes sense. It's weird, because I'm really pale as is, and now I'm getting even paler. I usually find it all very amusing, but anytime I'm with somebody new I'm always slightly worried they'll think I have some horrible STD or say something really horrible. lol Thankfully, my partners have all been smarter than that. *I recently got an e-mail from a guy who has this same condition and read this and it made him feel better to know other guys have this going on too. Go me! ;-0)
PDA's (Public Displays of Affection): Kissing? Holding Hands? Naughty Touching? Yes. I'm up for it. Aroused by it even, being something of an exhibitionist, and an equal opportunity completely OUT of control, affection junkie. ;-0)
Kissing: Love it. I have over the years met several men who did not enjoy kissing, or simply refused to do it. Most of these men were self loathing closet cases who seemed to think that kissing a guy was somehow more homosexual than fucking a guy in the ass, but there have been a couple of men who honestly don't enjoy kissing of any kind. That said, I enjoy kissing a great deal. Kissing women is fun, but kissing a guy is beyond hot, and is a sure way to measure how much of a chemical spark resides between us. And I love it when a guys kisses my ears and neck. ;-0)
Cuddling & Conversation: Essential. My ideal sexual experience involves me with a guy who is comfortable being himself sharing an entire night together, without rushing; simply enjoying each other. Kissing & Cuddling are a huge part of that. Conversation is also key. The best sex I've had has always involved these 3 elements. Things are hot and heavy one minute and then slow & relaxed the next. Nothing is held back, or left unexplored. Our erections come & go with no rush towards orgasm; in fact, orgasms aren't even necessarily a goal, so much as an end result of our pleasure. Some of the best sex I've had hasn't led to an orgasm at all, and not because we're broken or not enjoying being together physically; but simply because orgasms aren't the point. Being together, naked & honest, strong & weak, lost and found, is so much more than most men seem to allow themselves. And to the few that have allowed this, I thank you. That said, when I'm with a guy like that, and we've been fucking each other for hours, and sharing and kissing, and licking & sucking...when orgasms are in fact achieved, they are the most mind blowing finish imaginable...before inevitably, more cuddling ensues. ;-0)
Dirty Talk: Verbally dominant tops are a HUGE turn-on. :-)
Cock Sucking: I've loved sucking cock ever since I was a little boy (seriously). And I LOVE having my mouth fucked! I don't like having my head knocked around, but if I'm on my knees or laying on my back with a guy thrusting in and out - that's hot. I don't often use condoms for oral sex (see Condoms below); I enjoy the taste of dick far too much, though condoms, when used, can be hot too. I don't always swallow; it depends on how much I trust the guy. When I was younger I always swallowed; it was such a psychological turn on back then, and maybe it's just something I've outgrown, or it's simply too risky in this day and age, or a combination of both. Or more likely, I've simply not been in a relationship long enough in recent years to feel that it warranted the risk, or was even something I wanted to do for someone who wasn't interested in being more than short term lovers. I've only been with 4 men who could make me cum, with only a blowjob for stimulation, but this is perhaps because my dick is so thick that most people tend to scrape me with their teeth, which is seldom if ever a pleasurable experience. Another reason for this is that it seems to take me longer to cum than other guys, and the people blowing me just get tired, which is both understandable and unfortunate. I do however love it when a guy can swallow my entire dick...or that feeling when a guy gags a bit on my dick; I know it's twisted, but that rocks. But given the choice of sucking, or being sucked, I'll choose sucking every time. And I love licking a guys balls; the sweat there is yummy. Sadly, I've had TMJ most of my life, and it's actually getting really bad, and kind of scary, so anything I do with my mouth (smiling, talking, eating, sucking, licking) leads to quite a lot of pain. Oh! And a word on 69ing; I think it's kind of fun now and then, but never for long. In theory 69ing is heaven, but in practice I find it can be distracting and often times cumbersome. Better to just take turns. ;-0)
Rimming: I love to rim. I love getting rimmed. I get off just touching a guy's asshole; it turns me on knowing I'm touching a guy where, apart from other gay men, he's most likely never been touched. But yeah, I love eating a guy's ass. I realize this isn't everybody's cup of tea, but for me it's an intrinsic part of sex, & I won't have sex with someone who doesn't allow for it. Cleanliness is a requirement of course, but I'm sure that it would be, even if I didn't enjoy sticking my tongue inside of a guy's asshole. My favorite thing is when a guys sits on my face and we both jack off while I lick him; or when I sit on a guys face and we both stroke off; love watching a guy make himself cum while his tongue works it's way inside me; that's something I find incredibly hot. And if a top is into it, getting a nice long rimming before getting fucked is awesome.
Fucking - Top or Bottom: Both. It's complicated. Mostly bottom. When I'm getting fucked I prefer to be on top, riding the guy, or on my back, or bent over the bed. Condoms are (sadly) required for anal sex; though I've had bareback sex in long term relationships and I've loved it, and I look forward to my next opportunity to do so safely. In recent years I've described myself as a "versatile bottom". I really do love to get fucked, and I lean more towards bottom sex (I always come faster & harder when there's a finger/tongue/cock/toy up my ass), so I'm looking for a Versatile Top who maybe enjoys getting fucked once in awhile...or a straight out Top - because while I sometimes enjoy Topping, I don't need to do it. For about a year I was thinking that perhaps I'd just grown into my role as a Bottom and may never Top again, but from late 2006 to present I've again emerged as versatile with a vengeance. Like I said; it's complicated...and even I don't understand the shifts in tone.
Barebacking & ATMs: I've had bareback sex & I know from experience that I enjoy it far more than sex with a condom; I simply haven't been in a relationship long enough (recently) to get tested with my partner to ensure (for the most part) the measure of safety that's required for the hotter no barrier fucking. My cock isn't that sensitive to start with, so I find it nearly impossible to top while wearing a condom. And while I don't notice a difference when I'm being fucked by a guy wearing a condom, there is one activity this precludes: ATMs. An ATM (sexually speaking) is when someone fucks you in the ass and then fucks your mouth. It probably sounds twisted, but I find it incredibly arousing when a guy is fucking me, then pulls out and comes down my throat with his cock in my mouth, tasting my ass, his cock and his cum all at the same time. ATMs can be performed with a condom but it's not exactly the same. But I'd rather have a guy wear a condom when he's fucking me and feel safe than have a guy go bare and feel all stressed out about it. Plus condoms are helpful as I don't like guys cumming in my ass. I understand that the idea of cumming inside someone is hot, but I can't feel it when it happens...and later there is an ick factor. lol.
Condoms: Condoms can sometimes be hot. I actually think that going down on a guy (or guys) wearing condoms can be very sexy. It's like I'm almost getting what I'm craving, but not quite - which is stimulating. You still get the shape & feel and warmth of a cock penetrating your mouth, but the flavor is locked away, which is maddening...plus it's safer as well - and they come in a variety of colors! It can be a huge safe turn on. What's not to love about that? And like I said above, ATMs are possible with condoms as well, though they're a bit different than what I grew up loving. ;-0)
Personally, I wear Magnums. I'm not saying I'm huge or anything (I've seen plenty of guys who were way bigger than me), but the regular sized condoms painfully cut into the shaft of my cock, which can really kill the mood. I don't have that problem while wearing a Magnum. They have an even larger brand, but if I have to wear a condom, this one's just right for me.
Bondage: Despite what my assorted pictures may insinuate, I've never really explored sexual bondage. Those pictures were just for non-sexual fun...mostly. I'm up for the real experience, as long as my partner is into it, and I feel I can trust them completely. If it never happens, I'm ok with that.
Leather Sex: People are constantly asking me if I'm into "Leather Sex". I'm not sure I even know what "Leather Sex" is. I don't have a fetish for leather, though I do like it. I don't even own that much of it, as most of my clothing that people assume is leather is really vinyl. I'm guessing that I've never had this thing known as "Leather Sex".
Feet: I've never really been a foot person. I don't think they're gross, but I don't drool on them either. However, if someone's into them, and they want to suck on my toes, I've recently become a fan of such activity.
Water Sports: I feel like I may be living my life somewhat in reverse. When I was a kid I was into all kinds of kinky stuff that most folks don't get into until later in life...if ever. Things like water sports, and I'm not talking about swimming or skiing. I mean, I couldn't ejaculate back then, and I knew I liked dicks, and had the strong feeling that something was meant to come out of a dick, so water sports just seemed like perfectly natural fun. A lot of things that turned me on when I was a kid, don't do much for me now, and this is one of those things. But it doesn't disgust me either, and when I see a guy in a chat room getting teased about liking it, I always stick up for them. As long as no one's getting hurt, then it's ok with me. Now, I do have to say that I did have an encounter with someone that was into water sports that I found to be really, extremely hot, but this seems to be the exception, and not the rule. I've recently come to the conclusion that if a partner of mine is into this in a dominant way, then I can play along and still get off, even though the experience itself isn't something that I crave; it just doesn't repulse me as much as it seems to do for others.
And here's a shocker: I like to be photographed! Sometimes with other people.
NOT INTO: Blood, Shit/Scat, being bitten (though a nibble here & there is ok), being actually raped or forced, being ignored, being tickled (I'm extremely ticklish) being penetrated without lubricant, scratching, or pain in general. Also not a big fan of sex with married men, men who offer me money, men who cheat, or closeted men...though there is some leeway on the latter, depending on the circumstances.
What Jason's Looking For In A Man