Sunday, April 27, 2008

Ok. Now that I've taken a few doses I'm officially in zombie mode. It's not as all consuming as it is when I'm suffering withdrawls, but it's there. It's not unpleasant...it's just makes everything seem slightly less real, which is actually kind of the point. The stomach part of me doesn't feel real, so it doesn't hurt. But the rest of me doesn't feel real either, which might take some getting used to. This doesn't help with the food coming back up though, which is why I'm hoping for some help from my appointment on the 29th of May. It just makes me not care as much about that, and makes the other parts less painful.

Mark visited me in my room a bit ago, and we talked about a lot of stuff. Dreams. Hellraiser movies. Horror movies in general, and my love of them when I was a child. My old shrink. Darla's message, and my response.

About Darla, Mark said he liked what I wrote and hoped that it would provide us both with more closure than we had... That if we never spoke again, that at least we had this. I'm not sure how I feel about that...but I felt good about everything I said. And I felt my messages while being truthful were also rather restrained, and I'm good with that. I don't want to rip everything open and watch it bleed to death...I just want to move on.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:22 PM
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