Friday, May 9, 2008

I'm feeling frustrated.

I'm home again. Mark drove us to his work, and stopped on the way for food. Around that time, my stomach started revolting. I dropped Mark off and went to work, and I was determined I'd make it through the day...except DJ asked me how I was feeling when I got there, and I told him my stomach was upset. He said he was going to send someone home and asked me if it should be me. Now I wasn't planning on asking if I could go home; I was going to work my shift, and suffer in silence - and try to cheer myself up, as work often does do for me... But before I had even punched in the offer was on the table. It turned out that Bill was not feeling well either, and DJ asked us to decide which one of us would leave. I thought about it, and told Bill he could go. He'd been there before me, and I was pretty sure I'd be fine eventually; I wasn't contagious so I wasn't going to be making anyone else sick, and I didn't want to prevent Bill from leaving if he didn't feel well, because I've been there. Only DJ sent us both home. Which is fine. I mean...he asked me... It's not like he forced me.

DJ also asked me again about my upcoming doctor's appointment, and asked if he shouldn't schedule me until after I see my doctor, which we talked about last time, and I told him that while my acid reflux is getting beyond annoying to me, that there are many days that I feel fine, and I guess to me that was an admission that I'd like to be scheduled, because I didn't tell him not to schedule me, and I told him I felt fine many days - but when I left he hadn't scheduled me at all this week. I know he's looking out for me, and wanting to help me, and I'm grateful...and maybe I shouldn't be working? I think something else that might have scared him was that while I was there I had this...acid thing, where some acid came up, and I didn't have any tums with me, and I had to ask him for some (which he didn't have) and my voice got all kind of scary from the acid... Or it's possible, that our hours are so hard to come by lately, that when I asked for this Sunday off that was maybe the only day he could have scheduled me? Or maybe it's just that he knows that the days that I don't feel well really suck when I'm at work, and figures that cutting me from the schedule will help me out part of the time, while helping everyone at the store with labor?

I'm tired and emotional. I need to not over react to this. I'm fine. Things will be fine. Except they're not...but they will be. I mean...I'll survive.

Of course all this frustration is why I'm seeing my doctor in the first place, so while I feel put out...I know I'm doing something about it...only the waiting is annoying. I'll make sure I get some hours the week after next.

Now I just have to find some ways to fill my time while I'm home, because last time I had a week off, the meds made me kind of crazy, and I'd rather avoid that.

Hopefully Mark isn't upset that he came to get me, and then I came home so soon afterward...but that wasn't my plan for the day at all. This kind of blindsided me. I just need to make the most out of it. I need to do something positive. I think I focus too much on the negative sometimes, and that doesn't really do me any good.

I guess DJ likes Doctor Who more than Torchwood now. He showed his family BLINK in the hopes that it would convert them to Who, but they all thought he was crazy. I told him that I had the same experience with Mark and Mollie when I got them to watch "The Girl in the Fireplace", which he said he was thinking of having them watch. Doctor Who is strange, and if you don't kind of give it a chance, it's hard to get into, but if you just give it that little chance, you get hooked. He's been lagging on Torchwood I guess, and skipping episodes, but is going to catch up on those now, so that the end of season crossover will make sense.

I guess I should nap or something while I have the time.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:52 PM
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