Tuesday, June 7, 2005

When Mark got up for work, I joined him for a shower. Mark & I aren't a couple, and were aren't sexually active with each other (or seperately of late), but we're very affectionate. We hug everyday and try to make sure the other feels loved. We sometimes hold hands in public, and we sometimes cuddle... However, when we cuddle I get aroused, and then we have to stop. lol We shower together sometimes as well, and people might think that's odd, or sexual or something, but it's really very innocent. Mark is more than a friend, or a lover, or a brother, because we've been all of those things to each other; on December 19 of this year, we will have known each other, and been close to each other for 10 years. And for this, I am grateful.

After Mark left for work, I tried to sleep & failed. I tried calling Janice but she was out shopping with Justin; my brother-in-law Jerry answered the phone. Jerry sometimes seems really ignorant & other times seems quite good, so I'm never really sure how to respond to him. His sense of humor, which he didn't have at all when we met, has improved over the years, probably thanks to spending so much time with my sister, who used to always make me laugh.

One time, I was in Adrian, where my sister & her husband, and their children live, because I used to go to the clinic there to get my HIV status tested; I was negative the last time I checked. I went & got tested, and I had to wait 3 weeks for the results, but I went to see Janice & spend time with her before I left for home. Jerry asked me what I was doing in town, and I told him that I had just gotten tested for HIV, and he said: "So now you've got the AIDS?"!?! And I looked at him, completely disgusted by his ignorance, and then I looked at Janice, who looked embarassed, and then I couldn't bring myself to rip into him the way I would with anyone else who said something so universally stupid. I simply tried to explain that if I had AIDS I wouldn't be getting tested to learn if I had HIV, and that even though I used condoms during sex, as a sexually active person it was my responsability to be tested for stds in order to have a full understanding of my health, and the safety of my partners. He just looked kind of dumbfounded, like he really didn't get it.

But he's good to my sister, and he seems to be a good father, and they (Jerry & Janice) have 4 beautiful children whom I love unconditionally. And I'll always be grateful for them.

After not getting in touch with Janice I tried to sleep & failed. I cleaned up my room a bit, which I'm trying to keep orderly, which isn't easy for me, as I'm definitely a clutter moster. I don't think my room gets DIRTY, but I like having a certain amount of clutter around me. My parents' house is dirty, and gross, and while I'm a bit messy, I take great comfort in knowing that I'll never be as bad as all that.

I called Matt from work, and I left him a message asking if he could come into work an hour early on Wednesday, allowing me my visit with Shawn & Jonathan. I called Mollie & left a message on her machine saying I'd love to have her for that visit to Hillsdale. And then a tried to clean up some space on my hard drive.

Around 3pm the mail arrived, and 4 GLBT moves arrived for me. They were "Murder in Portland", "Traveling To Olympia", "Gods of Olympia" & "Revenge in Olympia"; none of which look that fantastic, but they each generally cost anywhere between $30.00 & $40.00, and I got them all for $9.99 a pop, which saves me $120.00 - $160.00, so I'm really happy with them in that sense. Perhaps they won't be terrible movies either; we'll see.

Later I decided to watch some of the movies on my GLBT inclusive shelf, which I've not seen before; I probably have 20 such titles. I watched "Eden's Curve" which was quite a bit different than I had expected; I liked it alot more than I thought that I would, and the story was set in 1972, which I didn't suspect from the description of the film I had read. It was very well done in my opinion, with what I felt was a tragic ending, that would have pissed me off quite a lot, if after the movie ended, it hadn't been revealed to be based on a true story. I liked the song that played during the closing credits, and promptly ordered the CD of the artist, who actually appeared in the movie.

After I finished watching "Eden's Curve" and I still couldn't sleep, I decided to watch another one of my unseen treasures. This time I chose "Prom Queen: The Mark Hall Story", which was about a Canadian boy who wanted to take his boyfriend to the prom, and was rejected out of hand, and who took his case to court, and won. It had really happened in 2002, and I had read about the events on gay.com, and I so I already knew the outcome of events, but that didn't make the movie any less emotional. It was filmed in such a way that it was actually lighthearted despite the subject matter, and some of the scenes in the movie were very well dramatized reenactments of real life events, while others were added to flesh out the film's storyline. I believe it was produced for Canadian television, and I thought it was very well done. I cried a lot at the end. lol The movie starred Aron Ashmore; Shawn Ashmore's twin brother; Shawn plays Bobby "Iceman" Drake in the 2 X-Men movies, which are also about intolerance. After the movie, I watched the extas, and there was actual video footage of the real life events; it was really moving.

There was something strange about the 2 movies that I had watched in a row, which I had picked at random, and had very little to do with each other. Both films revealed to me the origin of the term "faggot" when used to describe homosexuals. For those who don't know, a faggot is a bundle of twigs, sticks, or branches bound together, often used as kindling for a fire. And when they used to burn witches at the stake, they would often use suspected homosexuals as the kindling for the flames; a human faggot. So when people called homosexuals faggots, they were originally suggesting that the homosexual in question should be used as fuel for a fire to burn witches. I'm sure very few people realize this today, though the continued use of the word is somewhat troubling. I can't believe I had never heard of this before, and I can't believe that they mentioned in 2 seperate movies that I watched in less than a 5 hour period of time.

After watching all the extras on the "Prom Queen" dvd, I was extremely tired. It was nearly 5:30 when I called Janice and we decided to meet at Grandma's house today around 10am; I'll drive Mark to work and then drive out to Milan directly from there. I got to talk on the phone with Justin (who wants to come over to my house), Jordan (who wanted to tell me that he started reading "The Thief of Always" by Clive Barker, which I had given to him and Justin, on Jordan's birthday, and then finally to Jillian who had a lot to say to me; she even sang me her "bird song"; lol. I told them I'd see them today, and I said goodbye to Janice.

I called Mark to tell him of my days events, and that I loved him, and that I was finally going to sleep, so that he would know not to wake me up when he got home; this was at about 6pm. I slept until 10pm, and I checked my messages, to find one from Matt, not only telling me that he could cover my shift on Wednesday, but that he had the shirt that I had left at work on Friday, and that he would leave it for me on Wednesday! Matt is awesome! ;-0)

Mark & I talked for awhile, and hung out in my room so he could watch the trailer for "Prom Queen", and then the actual footage of the real life story. I also told him the origin of the word faggot which gave him pause. Mollie called me back and said she wasn't sure she could go on Wednesday since she broke 2 of her toes on Sunday!?! She was in good spirits though through the wonderful healing power of DRUGS, and it was great to hear from her. Mark & I cuddled for a little while, and then he was sent away. lol And I managed to fall back to sleep, and I slept until around 1am. Then I slept some more until 5am. And I've been awake since then. I had some breakfast, and then I wrote this.

I'm trying to curb my spending, which I talked about with Mark the other day, and when he suggested I watch all the movies on my shelf that I hadn't seen yet, before I buy more of them, I told him that I don't really think that will work for me. I explained to him that I've noticed in the last few years, that I watch movies less often, but that when I do get in the mood to watch a movie, I generally watch more than one, and often times, more than four. There are over a dozen movies that I would love to buy right now, but I'm not. I really want to see "Brother To Brother" which will be released one week from today! I've been waiting for that one for months. I may break down & buy a couple this week, but not in the numbers that I have been buying them.

If I watch another movie today it will be "Sugar"; which I've now owned for several months, and is a movie I've wanted to see for some time.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:21 AM
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