Monday, July 14, 2008
Oh. I made this birthday list yesterday, but I'm afraid that people will miss it so I'm going to start posting a link to it at the start of every entry, and then if I update that list, all the links will take people to the correct list.
Have you seen my Birthday List?
So Mark took me to the pharmacy yesterday, where I got my drus, some aftershave, boost, and some sun block. I used the sun block after we got home, and took my Red Thunder out for a spin. A fairly short spin, but a spin none the less. It was fun. Shortly after that, Mark went to work.
I got a voicmail from Jordan (not my nephew) while I was out riding my bike, asking about what we were doing last night. I called him back but he didn't answer, and never responded to my voicemail. Yeah. Drifting apart. I sort of suspect that he's met someone else, but doesn't want to tell me about it. I'm not that attached, so I'm not upset or anything. I just hate the boy-goes-silent thing.
I put up more pictures in my room, in more hard to reach spots. Very cool. I'm loving the way it's looking, and that's a good feeling.
My stomach, was mostly fine yesterday. In the evening there were a couple momoents where stuff came up, even though I took my pills. It wasn't painful, and it wasn't a lot, but it was still gross.
A bright spot appeared among all that muck. Not actually in the muck. Eww. But a short preview had been released for Season 2 of The Sarah Jane Adventures! It had all the cast, and Sontarans, and (Mollie's not gonna like this) scary clowns. That should be fun to watch in a few months.
I chatted on gay.com for a few hours. I actually ended up chatting with Chris; the Chris that is moving in with Michael, and spends a disturbing amount of money on him. It was nice chatting with him though. He's a really nice guy. But it was weird, because it was becoming apparent that he still didn't know that Michael and I are still lovers. I chatted with Michael later, and told him that I was disgusted by the whole situation, and that I didn't want Chris to be hurt, and that Michael should tell him about it. I want to be Chris's friend, but that's kind of hard, when he likes Michael, and I'm 'secretly' fucking Michael, which I never wanted it to be a secret. When I first talked to Michael about this he said that he didn't feel that it was any of Chris's business, and I wasn't hanging with Chris, so I accepted that. But then Chris & I met again, and hung out, and that complicated it for me. Plus, Chris obviously likes Michael, and it seemed dishonest for Michael to pretend to not be involved in any way with anyone, when he was, and Chris was buying him stuff all the time. I talked to Chris about some of this, but in very vague terms, and told him that I didn't want him to be hurt and that I worried about him. He told me that a friend of his from back home had expressed similar concerns. Well, when I told Michael all this, without going into detail about what Chris had said, as I didn't want to betray his trust, Michael asked me if I had Instant Messaged Chris under an unknown name and told him that Michael was only using Chris for his checkbook!?! I was shocked. And yet, I can understand why people would think that. I know that it's more complicated than that, because they're friends, but I also know that Michael has kept information from someone who likes him, and spends a great deal of money on him - with questionable intent. Now I'm curious about who it was that sent that message to Chris, because I suspect it's one of Michael's friends. But I didn't even have Chris's AIM name until last night, so it couldn't have been me. And I don't want to be accused of it. The whole thing is probably moot now, because I got a text from Michael around 3am saying that he had told Chris. But now I'm left wondering what exactly he told Chris. What if he told him this is something new? Then it would look like I was threatened by Chris and hooked back up with Michael as a result. Or what if he told him everything as it happened? Is Chris gonna be pissed at our conversation online where I said nothing about it. It was horrible feeling like I was in the middle of this big deception which never should have happened in the first place, from my standpoint. My feelings in this matter are complex, and I'm just typing this out to try to make sense of them, I susppose. Oh well.
I went to bed around 11pm I think. I woke up around 4am, and I called Mollie. She was supposed to watch the 3 Part Doctor Who finale last night / this morning, and call me with her gut reactions, only she didn't. Now I'm worried. I hope she's ok. I'm constantly worried about Mollie. I don't trust her environment or relatives to keep her safe. I hate them to a certain degree, because it feels like they lied to her to get her away from the people that really care about her, and need her; not just me. Hopefully I'll hear from her in the next 24 hours.
Around...7am I think it was??? I woke up again from a nightmare in which I couldn't open my jaw. My jaw sometimes locks up, so this is a very real fear of mine. I was having some problems with it, but less so than in my dream. I took some muscle relaxants, which helped.
I noticed I had a voicmail from a friend of mine I'll call B-Invsible; B for short. So B is up for this big job where they do background searches and my website pops up on google, and he asked if I could drop his last name from all the links. Which I did as soon as I heard the message, because the message was nice, and he explained that he had no problem with it at all, but that this was about a job - and my website and the expressions on it were never meant to harm anyone, so I did what he asked. It was a lot harder than most people would think too, because there was a lot of 'behind the scenes' stuff that I had to work out to make it all work. But I did it. Trouble is, that the files are still cached on google, meaning people can still click on the cached button and see all the info that I removed. Not sure what to do about that. It will eventually go away, but I'm not sure it will be in time. I hope this works out for everyone, so that B-Invisible can...be invisible.
Also this morning, I stumbled across some Star Wars book info that really caught my attention. Ok. So my favorite Star Wars book of all time is:
Now, I wasn't one of those fan boys who worshiped Darth Maul the moment he was revealed. I don't love the Star Wars universe the way I love Doctor Who or Buffy or Firefly, or BSG. But there are moments in the Star Wars Expanded Universe where everything comes together in a beautiful moment. The above novel accomplishes that in my opinion. It's only got cameos by the film characters, except Maul. You know how the story will end even as it begins, and yet you don't. There is some amazing character work in this book, that allowed a moment of true transcendence, that is all too rare. I never expected anything in the way of a sequel. But amazingly enough, here it is:
Coruscant Nights I: Jedi TwilightIt's written by the same author, and features several sequel elements to the first. There's also a stop over in another Star Wars novel that I already own, but haven't read yet. But the one above is the true treasure. I ordered it on the spot (along with it's 2 sequels). This volume should arrive this week, and I'm really excited about this book. I feel like I've been waiting for this Star Wars book for 8 years, without actually realizing it. Very Cool.
I slept some more after ordering the books. Woke up, realizing that Mark was still asleep and supposed to be at work in 5 minutes. I got him up. We chatted as he got ready. It was nice. I called Mollie again, but there was no answer. I hope she's alright.
posted by Bald Jason at 10:23 AM
[Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]
