Saturday, October 11, 2008

Apparently, using a paper shredder in close proximity to my monitor can kill my monitor, or that's the theory Mark has on why my monitor is now all wonky. More good news I suppose. Blah.

Mark & I took a walk down by the river, through the woods, across the dam, back up by the train station, through another park and back home again. It was nice to get some exercise and get out of the house. Both of us liked getting out. And we went through and around some places we'd never explored before. Just before we left, I cried on Mark's shoulder. Things are kind of terrible right now. I mean, I'm sonn gonna have this surgery and if it doesn't help me it could kill me - not literally, but it might as well. My pills don't even work as often as they should; my time with Sean demonstrated how bad that can be for me...and how it can get in the way of the things that I desire. Then there's not being able to go to school. Not having a job, or money; politics; all kinds of stuff that's just buidling and and building... But the tears were helpful I think, as was the walk and I'm feeling more upbeat now.

I sometimes feel like life is passing me by; like I'm not actually experiencing, but the time with Sean, and the walk with Mark helped quell that feeling a bit.

I keep having quick flashes of memory of Sean and the things we said and did. It's nice to be haunted sometimes. I'm gonna take a shower, then Mark & I are going to Hollywood so I can rent "The Wizard of Oz", and "Meet Me in St. Louis"; I've never seen the latter, and with Sean raving about Judy Garland and the Oz books, I'm thinking now might be the time.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:11 PM
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