Monday, October 13, 2008

On Masturbation:

I jacked off again. It helps. My boundless memory calls up a scene from the movie "Ordinary People" in which Judge Hirsch as psychiatrist asks Timothy Hutton as patient:

"What are you thinking?" or possibly "What are you thinking about?"

"That I jack off a lot."

"Does it help?"

"For a minute."

It certainly does. Jacking off while overwhelmed clears my mind. There's only pleasure.

Just after I exploded (even crying out) the phone rang.

Mark had good news, though he sounded doubtful about it. I believe he's worried about me. He knows this time of year isn't good for me, and sees that I'm becoming more emotionally distraught. Apparently we're going to have some money coming in, as he got a loan from the bank, and also got an offer on a domain name. This is good news of course, but I'm not certain it helps with my emotional breakdown. Ugh. One minute I'm fine. I'm the Jason that everyone knows. And then the next I'm something else. It's so fucking confusing.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:24 PM
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