Monday, March 9, 2009

I was getting ready to go to the grocery store when I was overcome by the most wretched headache that I've had in at least a year. I started getting migrains when I was in the 4th grade. I remember the first one very clearly; where I was; what I was doing. It wasn't long before I started getting scary symptoms that proved to be common migrain signs: tunnel vision; numb limbs. I used to suffer those symptoms on a regular basis... But for the last 12 years or so, those symptoms have rarely appeared. Well they kicked in yesterday.

It's hard to explain tunnel vision to those who've never experienced it. But it's a kind of blindness. You can see, but you can't. It's very annoying, and very confusing when you don't know what's happening. And even when you do know what's happening, it's hard not to panic as a result. The whole thing is kind of creepy.

Add to that, one of your arms going completely numb. The two symptoms have always arrived in tandom. Though there have been times when I've seen spots just before my vision is compromised...and other times where I see these little silvery lights; like fireworks. The latter has sometimes come and gone without the numbness or even a severe headache, but when I see spots it's time to take my meds and hide in a dark room.

But yesterday I got the headache before my vision went out; before the numb effect. Which...I'm not sure has ever happened before. If it has, it was so many years ago that I've forgotten it.

Having experienced this so vividly yesterday I'm amazed that I dealt with it as well as I did in my youth. This is probably because of my mother. She suffered similar symptoms, and we were perscribed similar drugs to deal with them, so she understood what was going on; I didn't need to convince anyone. Which was probably very helpful.

Anyways - I took my drugs. I hid in the dark. And eventually I slept. Mark woke me up once to check on me, which I understand, but it angered me. I was still suffering and the only way to get rid of that kind of pain is to stay quiet, in the dark, preferably asleep, until it goes away. It's not his fault. I mean, he's only seen me have 1 other migrain like this one before, and that time it freaked him out that I could hardly walk and that I couldn't feel anything in my right arm. He's used to me having severe pain, but these other symptoms take things to a whole new level, for which I've not given him instructions. I'll have to be sure to explain it to him later.

I was thankfully able to get Mark out of the room with a minium of discussion, and no bruised feelings. I slept until around 2am. My head still hurt but nowhere near as bad. I called Mollie, who has left me a message several hours before. We talked briefly about problems that her mother is having and updates in our lives. I told her about my horrible headache experience and she'd recently experienced the tunnel vision herself so she knew exactly what I was talking about. Mollie and I often connect on subjects and levels that I don't get to as easily with other people. She's such a comfort.

I watched the finale of Voyager to prepare for the post-series books. I've watched the finale several times of the years, and I've enjoyed parts of it far more than when it first aired. It's very much a Voyager episode, and so it's a very appropriate ending to that series...but just like the show that it's celebrating...it mostly feels like a wasted opportunity.

I read the first 40 pages of the 1st post series book, "Homecoming". I read it years ago when it was new, and I remember enjoying it. But this time I'm finding it rather trite. It's a fairly good continuation of that final episode, but I don't like the writing style...it's not horrible, but every once in awhile I just don't believe these are the actual characters talking. It's a flaw that has thankfully been mostly absent in the post DS9 books. There has been only 1 post DS9 book that I've felt this way about, but I seem to be the only fan that I know who felt that way, so perhaps it was a fluke? I hope so.

Anyways. I wanted to go to the bank and the grocery store this morning. But my stomach is upset again! My IBS, which has been held at bay (thankfully) for months seems to be giving me troubles again. I suspect many reasons. One cause might be that the pills for my eating helped the process along, and now that I've reduced the number that I take, things are going back to how they were. They seems likely. Also, I've had several horrible headaches this last week, with yesterday's being the worse, so I've taken quite a bit of Midrin this week, only it's not Midrin, it's a generic called Migrazone, which is basically the same thing (I looked it up online), but one I've never taken before. Perhaps there's something in the mix that's upsetting my stomach? I had also been drinking quite a bit of soda this last week, but I stopped that several days ago... Anyways...I'm not happy about this. I might have to take one of my cymbalta pills. Really not looking forward to Zombie Jason

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:08 AM
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