Saturday, January 1, 2005

First day of 2005. nice. I did nothing for New Year's Eve, as is my custom. Mark wished me Happy New Year at about 3 after midnight & I went in & kissed him, but then I was back in my room.

I was looking for Robin Slashy Fan Art online, when I got a call from Shawn Foreman; drunk; happy; contemplative. He & Jonathan have an apartment in Hillsdale now, and they had a few people over for the holiday. Shawn wants us to hang out & he thought that I was freaked out about seeing him before. But I was actually freaked out that I wasn't freaked out if that makes any sense. I'm not attracted to him anymore, which...is odd. I recognized his voice right away though, and that does still give me chills, because it's SHAWN. lol He wants the CD's I've been working on, which is nice, though I don't know when I'll actually be finished with them. I have most everything recorded, but I've been putting off mixing them, and I don't have access to a working printer so I haven't done the covers. Also, when I listen to what has been recorded...I think it's honest, and powerful, but it's also...crazy; naked crazy. And it's all about things that don't apply any longer, and how I came to this place, and I don't want it to start something dramatic when there's no need, you know? And yet, I always intended to give him a copy; it would seem dishonest to not do so, and I have a hard time keeping stuff from him, which I actually love.

Anyways, Shawn called and it was a nice surprise, though it may have been better if he were sober, though I'm not sure exactly. The last time I heard him that drunk was a party at his & Lynn's shack. I really do like him & Jonathan together, now that I've met him, and I hope Jonathan will like me eventually too, though I guess I freaked him out before. I'm always too direct; it freaks people out a bit. Damn.

So after that I called Mollie & Laurie to wish them a happy new year. Then I continued with my search for slashy Robin pix, but I found slash stories instead which are usually fun. I found a site with Flash/Batman stories, which I never really thought of as a hot couple, and yet...they so are. lol I'm so insane. But the stories were hot. Here's a link to them.

I slept till about 2pm; Mark woke me up. We were going to go see Series of Unfortunate Events today, but I don't really feel like going, so he's gonna see Blade 3. And here I sit.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:40 PM
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I took a shower with Mark; I'm feeling a bit better. Listening to One Man Army by Our Lady Peace. I told Mark about the Justice League Slash & he said he could never get into it, because he could only see the characters as cartoons, and would be imganing the voice actors recording their dialouge: "Oh Yeah! Right There!". lol

Mollie & I might do something later. I should see if my e-mail is fixed so I can reply to whatever has arrived. I wanted to give Carrie a Trek tape today, but Mark doesn't have the "motivation" to set it up for me, and I have no clue what has to be done. bitch. lol Anyways...

Maybe I'll get some more work done on Shawn's CD's; the call last night left me motivated. Maybe I won't ever be finished with them; I'm never going to be completely happy with them; I keep tweaking them. Hopefully, they will one day be heard, and understood as the desperately needed tool that I once required, which served it's purpose and allowed me the freedom to love friendship, as much as I once did.

I've got to get out of here. lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:23 PM
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   Tuesday, January 11, 2005

I haven't felt like writing lately, and when I have felt like writing, I haven't been able to. Our power got turned off last week, with no notice, during a blizzard, and it wasn't restored for more than 24 hours, though we payed a $200 something fee, plus our bill within a half hour of the power being shut off. That was on Wednesday. Mollie was nice enough to let Mark & I stay with her until Friday when the power was returned.

TV Stuff: The new season of Alias started Wednesday night, and while I loved most of it; the twist ending made absolutely no sense, which pisses me off. New episodes of Enterprise begin this Friday night; I just finished watching the 1st Season last night.

I watched a movie yesterday called "A Touch of Pink" which I really enjoyed. I don't usually love comedies, but perhaps I simly needed one, or I identified with this one a little too much. Perhaps both.

So much has happened in the last week, and I just don't feel like writing about it, but I wanted to get something down, and now I have. I have to get some sleep though because I have to drive Mark to work in about 4 hours, and I have to be at work at 1pm.

I should reply to that letter that Peter sent me, but I'm so exhausted. I don't want him to think I've lost interest in our conversations. I updated my pix section, and some of th poetry stuff.

Whatever. I need to sleep.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:50 AM
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   Sunday, January 16, 2005

I cut my head open pretty bad shaving it on Friday; that's the 2nd time that's happened within the last 6 months. I should get it all lasered off & be done with it. After work I finally let Mark take me to the mall (I hate that place) to get a new leather jacket; I found 2 that I liked and would have gotten both but the cuter one's sleeves didn't fit me. :-0(

I also finally responded to Peter's e-mail; I hope all is well with him. I caught up on all my e-mail actually, which is a relief. I wish I felt like writing more often when I have the chance to do it, or that I was able too when I did feel like it; my timing sucks, and always has.

I haven't seen Mollie in over a week; I dislike being away from her so long, but I'll manage somehow. I may have a surprise or two for her when I see her on Thursday.

Last night I slept till about 1am, then Mark & I got a ton of groceries, watched an episode of Enterprise ("Carbon Creek") and then we got ready to finally order some clothes I've been dying for. I seldom if ever shop for clothing; I enjoy wearing clothes (sometimes, lol) but I don't really love shopping for them. But I've been wanting to get some flashy clothes for a while now, plus I need new jeans, boots, jewelry; the whole closet needs refurbashing. But, there was a delay in the ordering (again) and we'll not be able to order them until Monday night; possibly Tuesday. blah! While we shopped I read an article about Star Wars, Episode III; really looking forward to seeing that.

Ok. I'm tired, but I'm hungry, and I can't sleep after I eat, so I'm going to install RollerCoaster Tycoon 2, and play that for awhile, or possibly watch some "Voyager" which isn't as bad when I only compare it to itself and not DS9, which constantly made it look stupid. I'm such a geek, but I can live with that. lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:53 AM
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   Tuesday, January 18, 2005

I've been awake since 2:28am; don't ask me why because I honestly don't know. I'm sure it will hit me soon, but until then I'm just chilling out. I played RollerCoaster Tycoon 3 today, which was a huge improvment over the first two in my opinion; it's one of those games that's fun to play once in a while.

I got an awesome letter from a friend today. I want to write him back right now, but I'm afraid that my sleep deprived brain will fuck the whole thing up. I'm ordering new clothes today (finally); it's a start at least. I need to start working out again; it's so easy to stop; so hard to get started again; but once your going it's fine.

I added more pix to my Assorted Jason Pix section; many of the ones I've added lately have never been posted before; sort of makes up for not having any spanking new ones. I need to get more taken ASAP. It was so much easier when I used to carry a camera with me everywhere. Blah!

I think that lack of sleep thing is finally catching up with me...I'm gonna drop this now.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:41 PM
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   Thursday, January 20, 2005

I feel like a good ramble.

Lots of sleeping on my days off; it feels great. I'm seeing Mollie, Karen, Kenny, & possibly Carrie & Adam; sounds like fun. I have to remember to bring Zim. We ordered clothes after many delays, and because of these delays, clothing I wanted, was no longer available; I'm still pissed about that.

Just saw a movie called "Bounce"; it was ok. And I was just distracted by randomness and whoa; it's after 8am and I've gotta cut this short; gotta get Mark up for work.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:02 AM
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   Thursday, January 27, 2005

I believe I'm in shock. My roommate Mark just got home from work about 40 minutes ago, to find me cleaning the condo because Marcus (his twin brother) and Julie (Marcus's pregnant wife) were going to visit us tomorrow night. I've been cleaning for about 2 hours, because I know Mark likes everything to be perfect when his friends & family are over, and he's been stressed out so often lately, that I just thought I'd help out. ;-0) I was looking forward to seeing Marcus & Julie, since they haven't visited in several years and I always enjoy seeing them.

Ok. Now, Mark wanted them to sleep in my bed, which I didn't want to give up, but eventually relented to, but then Mark told me last night that they would be getting here aroudn 8:30pm & going to bed aroun 11:30pm (or something to that effect), and I'm going to be awake all night, away from my bed, away from my computer and forced to stay in a Friday night that I had originally planned to go out on, because I wouldn't have acccess to my room. I live in my room.

So I told Mark that I'd need my room so I could get ready & go out; that way I wouldn't be around to make noise while they were asleep. Mark has a bed that could be used and Mark could sleep in my room and not be bothered by coming & going, and changing my clothes & searching through my closet & drawers for random things to wear & use. Mark said his room wouldn't work, because it's really messy; filled with boxes & stuff - so then he wanted to fill up my room with the boxes; and stopping me from getting to the things I needed. I suggested he store them downstairs, which wouldn't bother me in the least; he said that he'd just call Marcus & Julie and tell them that I didn't want them here. I said, "So...you're going to lie to them?" and he said that it wasn't a lie. He went in his room, called his twin brother & then told him two lies; he told him that we'd just gotten into a fight (we never even raised our voices - I didn't realize we were arguing?) and then that he told Marcus that I now didn't want he or his wife here, which isn't true. Basically, Mark is ashamed that his room is a mess & instead of telling his brother the truth he lies about me.

I know I shouldn't be surprised when he lies. It's why we aren't a couple after all. But this was just so hurtful. I don't want Marcus & Julie thinking I don't like them, or don't want to see them, or that they aren't welcome here. I was really looking forward to talking to them. Marcus is such a sweetie, and Julie & I have always gotten along reallly well. This just sucks. I don't want to call them and tell them the truth (I don't think I even have their phone #, anyways); I don't want them to know that Mark lied... This whole thing just sucks!

I was gonna go see my dad today, after Mark got home, but then realized I needed to clean the condo; cancelled my plans and cleaned instead; does that sound like something someone would do if they didn't want someone to come over? grrr. If I didn't love Mark, I'd really hate him.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:07 PM
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   Friday, January 28, 2005

I woke up around 10am; jacked off; took a shower. Looks like Mark has been cleaning his room; I wonder if this means that Marcus & Julie are coming over after all? ;-0) Probably not though; I don't see him telling them the truth anytime soon. Maybe if he outlives me, then he might tell them. Whatever. At least if his room is cleaned up he won't be stressed about it and that's what this all comes down to really. Mark never lies to hurt anyone; he always does it to protect himself from being seen in a certain light. I'd say I can't believe I'm not more upset about his actions, but I think I've grown used to them after all these years together. And I've done nothing wrong...which is maybe why my stomach isn't upset over it. hmmm. Perhaps the way Mark feels is more important to me than the way that M&J see me? That's something new. Maybe a side effect of not having seen them in so long. I still wish this weirdness had never happened.

After I picked up Mollie last night, we got balloons, a card & some flowers for Heidi at work (her 21st B-Day was on Wednesday, and just about everyone cancelled for her party so she called it off); she gave me a big hug & told me I was sweet, and almost cried ;-0) I returned my rentals (Boondock Saints, The Man I Love, & When Boys Fly) - 2 of which I actually watched, and rented The Grudge because Mollie wanted to watch it; I invited Mark to watch it with us and he seemed surprised by the offer; the movie sucked. I drove Mollie home (my stomack was really upset; I think because I took my pills really late) and I stopped by Carrie's on the way home to give her the new DS9 books that I bought for her, and the bonus DVDS for the Lord Of The Rings which made her jump up & down. I came home, read a chapter of my own DS9 book, & went to bed.

I have poetry in my head for Tony & Darla; I'm going to try to write them after work sometime. I work from 1pm-5:30pm. My new clothes might come today but I won't be here to sign for them, so I'm pretty sure I won't be getting them today. Looks like I work Sun-Tuesday; Tuesday night I'm hanging out with Mollie & hopefully Bryan; Wed., gonna visit my dad at his rehab center, with Janice; new ALIAS on Wed., then Thursday I'm gonna visit Mollie & Karen, work Friday, and there's a new Enterprise, on, Saturday I have off & there's a new Justice Leauge Unlimited. Those are my limited plans for the week. lol I'm such a geek. Oh - & Monday night Carrie wants to go to goth night at Necto? Just like old times.

Marcus just pvted me and said he was seeing me tonight, which means he & Julie must be coming over after all!?! But does this mean that Mark told them the truth, or that he made something else up? Mark isn't answering this question on AIM - though I guess he might be on the phone. Either way I need to finish getting ready for work. If he told them the truth then I'm ecstatic, but if he lied to them again, then I know I'm going to be tempted to tell them the truth, and I don't know if that's the right thing to do...you know? I dont' want to hurt Mark, or for them to have a bad opinion of him (though they both love him); it would be better for Mark to tell them himself, if he hasn't already. wacky.

I need to leave.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:48 AM
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   Saturday, January 29, 2005

Work was fine yesterday; I love working with DJ & Matt; they always make me laugh. Nate is great. lol And Bobby is often great to talk to, but when he does annoy me, it's a very bad day at work. Luckily, that didn't happen yesterday. Scott was there too, but I didn't see him that much.

When I got home, even though I was dead tired, I helped Mark clean up the place, and it was great to see Marcus & Julie when they arrived. I talked a lot with Julie, while Marcus & Mark went out to get Little Caesars, which I abstained from, since I had some at work. We all talked and I showed Julie my slash art collection, and then Mark & Marcus joined us and I showed them some mashups which they seemed to enjoy. We played 2 hands of euchre, boys against girls, as Mark put it (Mark & Marcus vs. Julie & I); they won a game, and we won the 2nd game. We all went to bed, we all slept well - Julie said this was the best night's sleep she's had in months! I gave them a mashup cd for the road, and said goodbye. It was a great visit, and I'm really glad it all worked out in the end.

After they left, Mark & I watched last night's new episode of Enterprise "Babel One", which impressed me quite a lot; Enterprise is kicking ass this year! The story & development, continuty & special effects were all great, but the direction was amazing; it looked like a feature film. I hope the next two installments in this story hold up to the promise of this episode. I know bits & pieces about upcoming episodes, and the next 4 episodes all sound awesome. ;-0)

Mark is getting ready to go to his Dad's, where Julie & Marcus are, and I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do today. I find it hard to plan ahead; my plans fall apart, and so I don't plan, or at least not very detailed plans. I won't have the car, which limits things; and Heidi wanted to hang out tonight, so I'll have to see if she can drive out here; not that she lives that far away... I just, don't like to ask for things, I guess.

Anyways,

I'm off...

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:29 AM
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