Sunday, June 5, 2005

Work was fine on Friday; DJ rode his bike to work, and was in a really good mood. It was Josh Herder's last day for a couple of months; we got some new shirts, though I left mine at work with the Star Wars Graphic Novel I brought in to show DJ; I hope no one swiped either one; I doubt that a coworker would grab the comic, but "guests" go back there too, and someone may think that the shirt was unwanted, which it definitely is. I'll know later tonight, when I get to work.

I took a nap after work till about 11pm; I was going to relax and rest up for Saturday's activities, but I saw a giant ant on my desk, and I spent the night cleaning my room. Mark set up some ant bait in my room, and put some more outside; hopefull that will be the end of that invasion.

I think I got 2 hours of sleep before I left for my Aunt & Uncle's 30th wedding anniversary party. I'm glad I went; it was nice to see so many familiar faces, and relatives that I don't see very often. I spent some time talking to Michael White Jr. and his wife Jalynn(?) who said I should visit them sometime, and we exchanged phone #s. Hopefully that will pan out as I don't see enough of them.

I got to play with my nieces & nephews too ;-0) I'm planning on meeting Janice & the kids at Grandma's house sometime this week for a video interview with Grandma; something to remember her by if anything ever happens to her. ;-0)

Jamie was there, but she ignored me, which was fine actually.

After the party I headed home, showered, and had a snack just before Solomon & Janella arrived to play Euchre, which was a lot of fun, and I'm really glad they came over. It was another step in what will hopefully be a great friendship, and they seemed to really enjoy themselves as well.

After they left I went to bed, and slept till about 2:30am. I downloaded the newest JLU episode "Flashpoint" - Flash didn't die, but something fairly hardcore did take place that still seemed pretty gutsy, though 9/11 happened more than 3 years ago. And the show continues to rock my socks. After it was over Mark wandered into my room, and I wathed it again with him; the sound was really messed up, but I'll record it again when it airs in the U.S., which should only be a few weeks from now, really.

I work from 7pm to 12:30am tonight. I'll probably watch some Batman episodes, and attempt to get some of them in order. Speaking of, I was on a message board the other day, and people were talking about Batman, and they actually helped me out with the continuity of the show, which was a big help! ;-0)

So, I've got plans with Janice & company sometime this week. I've got plans with Shawn & Jonathan on Wednesday (and possibly Mollie); which reminds me I need to call her back. She closes on Tuesday, and opens on Thursday, which means we'd have to leave Shawnathan's by 10pm; if we got out to vist them by 4pm that would still be 6 hours. I'll have to check to see when they want us to arrive, and when Mollie is up for leaving, and then we can decide if we have enough time to include Mollie; I think we probably can, and I look forward to spending time with all 3 of them. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:42 AM
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This post is really...whiney(?) - jesus, I can't even spell.

Today is sucking. Well, I guess it was ok at first. This morning I watched some Batman, and then talked with Mark before he left to see Episode III, which he said was ok (the movie, not the talking). I slept for a few hours. I woke up with my stomach in knots, and though I was exhausted, forced myself to stay up so as not to kill my insides. After a while I felt a bit better, and went back to sleep, only to wake up feeling worse. I had an hour before work. I got ready, but my stomach was not happy, and I called to let them know that I'd be late - and asked Ben to make sure that my graphic novel & new work shirt were still in back...the novel was, but ths shirt was not.

We've gotten two new kinds of work shirts in recently; one promoting the "movies & munchies" bundle, and one promoting the new trade in at hollywood thing that starts next week, and now I don't have either one of these new shirts, while other employees have multiple ones, which pisses me off. They're black t-shirts, which I enjoy wearing, and I've grown to hate our purple shirts, which they just ordered a new one for me, which means I'll have yet another of the hated purple shirts, and none of the black. I'm sure they will order some for me, but they tend to take a long time to do anything like that, which means I have to go work and see people wearing the shirts that I want, while wearing the shirts that don't like, and pretending that I'm not annoyed. I don't know that I can do that today. And I'm especially disgusted because I did have one of the shirts, and it was stolen, by a coworker. It's been along time since I had cause to be disgusted by my place of employment, but I guess it was bound to happen again someday.

My stomach is feeling somewhat better. I should go to work. erg.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:26 PM
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   Monday, June 6, 2005

Well, the power is on, and I'm grateful. We had a lovely storm last night, that produced the strangest light, and multiple rainbows. The air in the store was so muggy & damp. On the drive to work I noticed that several traffic lights were out, and that the lights in Bryan's apartent building were out. He later called me at work to see when I was getting off; he hoped that I wasn't closing and that I could join him & Robert at Pizza House, as they had indeed lost power. Perhaps theirs has returned. He stopped by work to, and I got a good hug.

I also spoke with a customer last night who has been renting for some time; he's gay, and we've never really spoken before except in passing. He's 33 years old, and has only been dating men for the last few months. Men who come out of the closet later in life have always made me sad. Not for their new found lives, but for the seemingly dead years that have passed away. I could never have survived as long as I have without coming out at a young age; I felt stifled keeping it to myself as long as I did... Lies close one up in a an ever tightening cage, and I suppose I'm a bit too claustrophobic for such scenarios.

I watched "Seed of Chucky" last night; I thought it was amusing, and a good followup to "Bride of Chucky". I als watched the Ken Russel film "Women In Love" which, like every Ken Russel film I've ever seen, was rather odd. I liked a lot of it, and was confused by much of it, but when it ended suddenly, with a glance, with a stilled frame that forced me to examine it's content; I loved that moment, more than the actual film. I also watched "Second Skin", which featured the most oddly beautiful woman, who kept my attention just as much as her character's husband's love affair with Javier Bardem! So, all in all, my rentals were wisely chosen, or at least I was very lucky. "Women In Love" & "Second Skin", could make nice additions to my GLBT inclusive shelves, but I'm trying to cut back on my spending; with the movies that I have already ordered combined with the ones I already have filling the shelf in question, I have 300 titles. And yet I want more. lol I try to avoid collecting things, because I've never been able to just stop; I have to have a complete collection.

Solomon & Janella stopped by briefly after the store was closed, and I went out to see them; the night air felt so wonderful after being in that storm ridden steam bath. They had dropped some movies in the drop box, and seemed to be glowing with a fantastic energy, which made me smile for them, and look fondly on them, and smile at my good fortune at having found them.

I slept for a little while last night, as has been my habit this last week; sleeping a little at night, and then again in the day; it's not bad at all really. I'll have to call Janice later & find out what day we will visit our Grandmother. And I need to call Matt, as he hasn't yet confirmed that he could work for me on Wednesday while I'm visiting Shawn & Jonathan. And I still need to call Mollie back, which I will also do today.

I'm really glad I watched those moives, in that order; they've put me in a very perculiar mood, and I'm rather enjoying it. And on a side note, I graduated from High School 9 years ago today.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:08 AM
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   Tuesday, June 7, 2005

When Mark got up for work, I joined him for a shower. Mark & I aren't a couple, and were aren't sexually active with each other (or seperately of late), but we're very affectionate. We hug everyday and try to make sure the other feels loved. We sometimes hold hands in public, and we sometimes cuddle... However, when we cuddle I get aroused, and then we have to stop. lol We shower together sometimes as well, and people might think that's odd, or sexual or something, but it's really very innocent. Mark is more than a friend, or a lover, or a brother, because we've been all of those things to each other; on December 19 of this year, we will have known each other, and been close to each other for 10 years. And for this, I am grateful.

After Mark left for work, I tried to sleep & failed. I tried calling Janice but she was out shopping with Justin; my brother-in-law Jerry answered the phone. Jerry sometimes seems really ignorant & other times seems quite good, so I'm never really sure how to respond to him. His sense of humor, which he didn't have at all when we met, has improved over the years, probably thanks to spending so much time with my sister, who used to always make me laugh.

One time, I was in Adrian, where my sister & her husband, and their children live, because I used to go to the clinic there to get my HIV status tested; I was negative the last time I checked. I went & got tested, and I had to wait 3 weeks for the results, but I went to see Janice & spend time with her before I left for home. Jerry asked me what I was doing in town, and I told him that I had just gotten tested for HIV, and he said: "So now you've got the AIDS?"!?! And I looked at him, completely disgusted by his ignorance, and then I looked at Janice, who looked embarassed, and then I couldn't bring myself to rip into him the way I would with anyone else who said something so universally stupid. I simply tried to explain that if I had AIDS I wouldn't be getting tested to learn if I had HIV, and that even though I used condoms during sex, as a sexually active person it was my responsability to be tested for stds in order to have a full understanding of my health, and the safety of my partners. He just looked kind of dumbfounded, like he really didn't get it.

But he's good to my sister, and he seems to be a good father, and they (Jerry & Janice) have 4 beautiful children whom I love unconditionally. And I'll always be grateful for them.

After not getting in touch with Janice I tried to sleep & failed. I cleaned up my room a bit, which I'm trying to keep orderly, which isn't easy for me, as I'm definitely a clutter moster. I don't think my room gets DIRTY, but I like having a certain amount of clutter around me. My parents' house is dirty, and gross, and while I'm a bit messy, I take great comfort in knowing that I'll never be as bad as all that.

I called Matt from work, and I left him a message asking if he could come into work an hour early on Wednesday, allowing me my visit with Shawn & Jonathan. I called Mollie & left a message on her machine saying I'd love to have her for that visit to Hillsdale. And then a tried to clean up some space on my hard drive.

Around 3pm the mail arrived, and 4 GLBT moves arrived for me. They were "Murder in Portland", "Traveling To Olympia", "Gods of Olympia" & "Revenge in Olympia"; none of which look that fantastic, but they each generally cost anywhere between $30.00 & $40.00, and I got them all for $9.99 a pop, which saves me $120.00 - $160.00, so I'm really happy with them in that sense. Perhaps they won't be terrible movies either; we'll see.

Later I decided to watch some of the movies on my GLBT inclusive shelf, which I've not seen before; I probably have 20 such titles. I watched "Eden's Curve" which was quite a bit different than I had expected; I liked it alot more than I thought that I would, and the story was set in 1972, which I didn't suspect from the description of the film I had read. It was very well done in my opinion, with what I felt was a tragic ending, that would have pissed me off quite a lot, if after the movie ended, it hadn't been revealed to be based on a true story. I liked the song that played during the closing credits, and promptly ordered the CD of the artist, who actually appeared in the movie.

After I finished watching "Eden's Curve" and I still couldn't sleep, I decided to watch another one of my unseen treasures. This time I chose "Prom Queen: The Mark Hall Story", which was about a Canadian boy who wanted to take his boyfriend to the prom, and was rejected out of hand, and who took his case to court, and won. It had really happened in 2002, and I had read about the events on gay.com, and I so I already knew the outcome of events, but that didn't make the movie any less emotional. It was filmed in such a way that it was actually lighthearted despite the subject matter, and some of the scenes in the movie were very well dramatized reenactments of real life events, while others were added to flesh out the film's storyline. I believe it was produced for Canadian television, and I thought it was very well done. I cried a lot at the end. lol The movie starred Aron Ashmore; Shawn Ashmore's twin brother; Shawn plays Bobby "Iceman" Drake in the 2 X-Men movies, which are also about intolerance. After the movie, I watched the extas, and there was actual video footage of the real life events; it was really moving.

There was something strange about the 2 movies that I had watched in a row, which I had picked at random, and had very little to do with each other. Both films revealed to me the origin of the term "faggot" when used to describe homosexuals. For those who don't know, a faggot is a bundle of twigs, sticks, or branches bound together, often used as kindling for a fire. And when they used to burn witches at the stake, they would often use suspected homosexuals as the kindling for the flames; a human faggot. So when people called homosexuals faggots, they were originally suggesting that the homosexual in question should be used as fuel for a fire to burn witches. I'm sure very few people realize this today, though the continued use of the word is somewhat troubling. I can't believe I had never heard of this before, and I can't believe that they mentioned in 2 seperate movies that I watched in less than a 5 hour period of time.

After watching all the extras on the "Prom Queen" dvd, I was extremely tired. It was nearly 5:30 when I called Janice and we decided to meet at Grandma's house today around 10am; I'll drive Mark to work and then drive out to Milan directly from there. I got to talk on the phone with Justin (who wants to come over to my house), Jordan (who wanted to tell me that he started reading "The Thief of Always" by Clive Barker, which I had given to him and Justin, on Jordan's birthday, and then finally to Jillian who had a lot to say to me; she even sang me her "bird song"; lol. I told them I'd see them today, and I said goodbye to Janice.

I called Mark to tell him of my days events, and that I loved him, and that I was finally going to sleep, so that he would know not to wake me up when he got home; this was at about 6pm. I slept until 10pm, and I checked my messages, to find one from Matt, not only telling me that he could cover my shift on Wednesday, but that he had the shirt that I had left at work on Friday, and that he would leave it for me on Wednesday! Matt is awesome! ;-0)

Mark & I talked for awhile, and hung out in my room so he could watch the trailer for "Prom Queen", and then the actual footage of the real life story. I also told him the origin of the word faggot which gave him pause. Mollie called me back and said she wasn't sure she could go on Wednesday since she broke 2 of her toes on Sunday!?! She was in good spirits though through the wonderful healing power of DRUGS, and it was great to hear from her. Mark & I cuddled for a little while, and then he was sent away. lol And I managed to fall back to sleep, and I slept until around 1am. Then I slept some more until 5am. And I've been awake since then. I had some breakfast, and then I wrote this.

I'm trying to curb my spending, which I talked about with Mark the other day, and when he suggested I watch all the movies on my shelf that I hadn't seen yet, before I buy more of them, I told him that I don't really think that will work for me. I explained to him that I've noticed in the last few years, that I watch movies less often, but that when I do get in the mood to watch a movie, I generally watch more than one, and often times, more than four. There are over a dozen movies that I would love to buy right now, but I'm not. I really want to see "Brother To Brother" which will be released one week from today! I've been waiting for that one for months. I may break down & buy a couple this week, but not in the numbers that I have been buying them.

If I watch another movie today it will be "Sugar"; which I've now owned for several months, and is a movie I've wanted to see for some time.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:21 AM
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   Thursday, June 9, 2005

I almost gave in & bought 8 movies at Amazon today, all but 1 of which were under $10 used... But I'm trying not to spend money. blah. Boring. And I didn't end up watching "Sugar" the other day.

After driving Mark to work Tuesday morning, I headed straight to Grandma's house, and arrived at almost exactly the same time as Janice & the kids. We had a fantastic visit, with lots of fun had by all, except for a small exchange between Janice & I, at Kroger. Justin & Jordan were with us, and I told Janice that the one of the things I regretted about not coming out to her sooner was that we were never able to look at guys together, and she said that was inappropriate to say in front of her kids because it related to sex, which I thought was weird because I didn't think it had anything to do with sex, and the thought hadn't even crossed my mind. What inspired the thought in the first place was this hot blondie boy that walked by that I couldn't help but notice, but whom Janice didn't notice at all, which shocked me. Janice later said that she had talked to her kids about me 2 years ago (or so) and she couldn't remember what was said, but that it was positive, but the way she told me & then said she couldn't remember...I'm not so sure.

Whatever she said to them couldn't have been super terrible, because they seem awefully excited to see me & spend time with me, and they are playful with Mark as well - and have asked me questions about him... But I wonder what Janice said exactly. She could have told them that I was evil. lol I don't know. It's in the back of my mind now, and it's not cool.

After all that I headed home, got the mail, took an all too brief nap and before picking Mark up from work, heading back home and going to bed; the kids always wear me out! lol I slept from 6pm-1am. I got online later, and chatted with Jonathan, who had left me two phone messages, that I hadn't gotten yet - we planned for my Wednesday visit, around 4:30pm at their place in Hillsdale. Ironically Shawn was in Ann Arbor when we made these plans; at UofM Hospital with a friend of his with Chrohn's Disease. UofM Hospital isn't even 3 blocks from my condo, so it was odd hearing that Shawn was so near to me.

I drove Mark to work at 9am, shaved & showered, and tried to sleep, but couldn't. Mollie broke two of her toes the other day, and then got food poisoning, so I helped out as best I could; I called her and she wished me luck on my visit, and asked if I had plans on Saturday. I was running late to Shawnathan's so I gave them a heads up; letting them know I'd be an hour late...and I was on my way.

On the drive there, I realized that I really dislike the summer months here. This wasn't true when I was younger, but now, I prefer cooler temperatures. Autumn is my favorite time of year actually... And in San Francisco I remember how the evenings were always cool, and the days were cooler than I had expected them to be. I'm actually looking forward to living there someday. ;-0) And I called Mollie back to tell her so.

I found Shawnathan's place with little to no trouble at all, which speaks volumes about Jonathan's skills at giving directions, because I have no fucking sense of direction, and yet he made it easy for me. I gave them a cd of mashups, which both amused & disgusted shawn - which was more than I expected, so that was cool; Jonthan seemed to like them a lot. We went to McDonald's, and the lake/park, and we went back to their place, and overall I had a blast just spending time with them. Jonathan is awesome, actually, and I really enjoyed talking to him, and getting to know him better. And it is always nice to be around Shawn; I'm just very lucky to know him.

Jonathan & Shawn are working on Saturday, but Jonathan seemed hyped about the idea of maybe calling in that day so he could hang out with Mollie, Mark & I, as we have all but confirmed that we are heading out to the Hillsdale area to visit the grave of Kevin Clark. Jonathan actually knows right where the cemetary is, which would be helpful, and I'd love to spend more time with him, and allow him the chance to get to know Mollie & Mark. Hopefully that will pan out. Of course if he decides to work that day we could still visit him, as he works at a gas station right at the edge of Jonesville. Perhaps we'll visit Shawn as well, as Mollie & Mark haven't seen him since the funeral. We'll see.

I left at around 11:30pm, and I was back in my room by 1am. Several GLBT movies had arrived for me, eariler in the day, and I checked them to make sure that they were working. One of the movies, "Skin Flick", which I had seen back in 2000, was not what I had expected. I had originally thought the movie was called Skin Gang, but I had recognized the cover online, and just assumed I had got the title wrong, which seldom happens with my wacky memory, but nobody is perfect, right? Well, it turns out that "Skin Flick", is the edited version of a pornographic permutation call the Skin Gang, so I was right about the title, and the cover of the movie, but it was odd seeing hardcore sex scenes edited down to R rated content. I decided that I'd just order the X rated one come morning, only when I did finally get up this morning I found out that the X rated Skin Gang flick isn't available on DVD; what the FUCK? So, I'm a bit cranky about that, because the sex in the movie was really hot, and that's what I thought I was getting. Perhaps one day it will be available.

I drove Mark to work today so I could go pay the condo fees. Then I came home, and set aside my amazon order (which is still tempting me), and I wrote this. I'm going to the grocery store in a little while; I might stop by Staples to see if Mollie is working, and/or go to VideoHut & rent some porn. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:17 PM
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Ok, ok! Enough with the 3rd Degree! I did it! I broke down and got some of those movies I wanted! Are you happy now? I admit it! I didn't lie before though. I hadn't picked them up. And I actually switched around the movies several times before finally ordering them. I'd feel guilty, but I got some awesome moves that I've wanted forever. I should make a short list of the ones I want above all others, and set that aside, and then just buy them as they become available at used prices or something... It's a thought at least.

I had some "breakfast", and now I'm not sure I want to go out at all. I hadn't originally planned on going anywhere today, but Mark needed the condo fees paid so I drove him to work so we could get that done, and now I've got the car when I didn't plan on having it... Not that I'm complaining. I'm just....

I'm rambling.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:17 PM
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   Friday, June 10, 2005

I fell asleep shortly after the last entry, and 'woke up' just in time to go pick up Mark from work. I rolled out of bed, dressed in a hurry, and ran to the car, all the while trying to keep my eyes open. It was pretty odd.

We had to go to UPS to pick up some packages for Mark, but they wouldn't be available until 8-8:30pm so we went to the storage locker, and then home to have a snack. I talked to Matt Habel for a while, and I left message for Laurie, and one for Amber, who was "busy". I also made sure I called Shawnathan to let them know that I made it home safely, and that Mark, Mollie & I would most likely be in town on Saturday.

I called Carrie & asked her to join Mark & I at Red Robin, which worked out nicely. First Mark & I picked up his packages, and then we stopped by VideoHut where I rented some lovely porn ;-0) Then we met up with Carrie at Red Robin, and watched the Pistons, and talked about multiple random events. It was all good. Mark & I stopped at Kroger on the way home, and when I actually got to my room, I slept until about 3am. I watched 2 episodes of Robotech "Sweet Sixteen" & "Miss Macross"; had a snack, took a shower, and now this.

They didn't have everything I needed at the Kroger we went to, so I'll probably go to the other one (not that there are only 2 in the area) later; possibly before Mark gets up for work. I work today myself: 1pm-5:30pm.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:33 AM
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After the last entry, I remembered Shawn mentioning that Anne Bancroft had died, and it made me remember the first film that I remember encountering her in, which was "Torch Song Trilogy", which I happen to own on dvd. The first time I saw it was on late night television in the late 80's, and it was only the 2nd gay themed movie that I had ever seen, and this one struck me on so many levels; it made me weep. I watched it twice this morning; once just to watch it, and then again with the commentary track by Harvey Fierstein, which was fantastic, actually.

Anne Bancroft appeared in several other films that I had seen, and I was always struck by her performances, though the ones I enjoyed most were (probably) not always, her best. I loved her in "Point of No Return" & "Agnes of God", and of course, "The Graduate". And I don't care what anyone says; I adore everything about the version of "Great Expectations" in which she appears. And I look forward to encountering her in years to come in movies I've yet to see, but she'll always be Ma from "Torch Song Trilogy", to me. ;-0)

After watching TST twice, I tried to sleep & failed, watched an episode of Robotech, while eating & filing away my slash art, then got ready for work. Work went by fairly quickly, but it was hot outside. I ate pizza for lunch, which was made wrong at first, but they fixed it. I had fun. I rented various queer titles, which I intend to watch before returning... I went to Kroger after work for the stuff I didn't get yesterday. I enjoyed the porn I rented, when I got home, took a shower, and then wrote this.

I'm tired. I might watch a movie with Mark. I might take a nap. I might go to Aut or Necto (though I serioiusly doubt it). Jonathan told me he 'knew' Justin Dotson; makes me wonder what he's up to these days, though probably not enough to actually call him.

Speaking of Jonathan, I should maybe call Mollie & figure out what time we're going to Hillsdale tomorrow... but I think sleep is going to win for now. I'll try to get in touch with everyone when I wake up. For now, I'm gonna crawl into my big comfy bed (which I love) and just...relax.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:37 PM
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