Saturday, December 3, 2005

I did see Harry Potter 4 on Wednesday with Mark & Mollie, and we all really enjoyed it. I think it's easily the best film in the series, and I know that the 4th book is my favorite in the book series. The 3rd film was a great film, but a horrible adaptation, while the 4th film was a great film, and a fantastic adaptation. ;-0) We also took Mollie to the police station that night because some creepy guy seems to be stalking her.

Thursday. I don't remember what I did thursday, but I was busy. And I wanted to call Bob that night to hang out, but I was so exhausted after being busy all day that I just went to bed. I remember what I did now; I woke up around 4am; I drove Mark to work at 9am, then I went home and changed and ate, and drove to my grandmother's in milan. I visited with them for an hour or two; I rode with my Grandparents to pick up my cousin Andrew from school. I gave Grandma a calendar to give to Janice for me, and Grandma let me have a large assortment of board games that no one uses anymore. I picked Mark up from work at 6pm and we went to Kroger, and then we went to Borders, where I spent some money that I probably shouldn't have, even though I'm doing "ok" money wise - I'm still not great with the cash flow, so I shouldn't have spent it - but it was mostly fun. When we got home I was so tired, and if I didn't go to sleep my acid reflux would have killed me - so I slept.

Friday I read most of the day; finished "The Captain's Daughter", and ordered "Vulcan's Forge" & "Vulcan's Heart". Mark picked up Mollie after work and when they got here we hung out in my room for awhile, and then Mollie & watched 5 episodes of Nip/Tuck, and 1 Desperate Housewives episodes. I was really tired, so I took Mollie home, and came back here, and went to be around 3am.

I woke up today around 11am. Mollie, Carrie, Adam, and maybe Kenny are all going to see Harry Potter 4 today. Mollie's supposed to call me to see if I want to go, but I'm still not sure if I'm going or not; it depends on when they go. I'm very tired again, but I just ate a while ago and I don't want to lay down.

I got a strange e-mail from Matt in Bowling Green, which I responded to. He was telling me again that he really regrets fucking things up a couple of years ago, and he wanted to know if I would have been faithful to him back then. Weird. We're friends now though, so I answered him, and I hope he finds happiness in whatever form it takes, because he seems like he's been unhappy for far too long. I'd give him a hug if he was here.

Maybe enough time has passed that I can lay down now. I'm not tired so much, as my eyes are tired.

I haven't seen the work schedule for next week, but I'm pretty sure that I work tomorrow. Maybe if I take a nap now, I'll be up to see Harry Potter, and get my work schedule??? We'll see.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:34 PM
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So I fell right asleep, and woke up to the phone ringing at about 8:50. It was Mollie wanting to know if I was up for seeing the movie. I asked what time? - feeling all refreshed and ready to get ready. She said they were already at the theater and that they could see one at 9, or they could wait for me and see one at 9:30pm. It takes a half an hour to get there in the cold under normal circumstances. In the summertime, I've made it to Mollie's in 15 minutes, but I've yet to make it to Showcase in that amount of time, despite their close proximity. And I was not dressed, or shaved (I was just going to use my electric razor tonight & I had already decided what I was wearing) so I wasn't even ready to walk out the door. I told Mollie that since they were already there, they should just see the movie (trying to not sound like I was pissed off, but not quite getting there). She asked if I could be at the 9:30 show, and I said no. She said she was sorry, and I said it was alright. And it is; it's just that I waffled on whether I was going all day, and if she had called before I slept, I would have said no - only she called after I was rested and really wanting to go - from the theater. How annoying is that? People reading this are probably wondering why I don't just go see it again on my own, which would be fine if I wanted to see it again just to see it, but the reason I wanted to go was so I could see & hear Carrie's reactions while she watched the movie. When we were watching the movie on Wednesday I even said to Mollie: "I wish Carrie was here." And Mollie then invited me to today's screening.

Blah.

I'm disappointed, and grumpy now.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:09 PM
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   Monday, December 5, 2005

Sunday, I did laundry, and cleaned some stuff up. I got some sleep, and ate before work, which went well. I rented the final episodes of Friends, Fantastic 4, and another flick... The end of friends made me cry a bit, but I'm not sure why, as it really wasn't anything special; I'm guessing the actors & writers were really exhausted or something, because it just didn't have that 'oomph' that I expected from a finale. Fantastic 4 was ok; it wasn't X-Men, but it wasn't Daredevil/Hulk either.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:36 PM
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   Tuesday, December 6, 2005

I got the car from Mark around 2pm yesterday, then I went out in search of film for Mark's camera & black & white film for mine. I used to be able to find black & white film anywhere, but lately, not so much. I found film for Mark's camera, stopped by common language to look for posters (they didn't have any), and then I went home, because I felt kind of tired, and figured I could just order film from online. I read the new Entertainment Weekly, with Brokeback Mountain on the cover. Mollie called me back & we talked for 20 minutes while she walked home. She told me the movie experience for Harry Potter 4, Saturday night was horrible. She said there were drunk people, kids in front of them, noisy people behind them, and that Carrie didn't even like the movie that much. I didn't understand why, until she told me that Carrie had just reread the book. I reread the 3rd book before I saw the 3rd movie and it made all the little changes worse for me - so I imagine that's probably why she didn't like it so much - but really - it's easily the best film in the series, and a fantastic adaptation. The book is better - but that's ok. ;-0)

After I let Mollie go, I ate, checked out the new Star Wars Chronology, and went to pick up Mark, it was about 5:52pm when I got there. I waited for him outside for like 20 minutes, and I was really feeling tired. We went home, and I put clean sheets on my bed, and layed down to read. I feel asleep around 7:40pm, and I woke up around 6:30am!!! I slept so well! I had fantastic dreams, and I was comfortable! That makes up for me missing Necto yet again... But wow. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:48 AM
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I found some wicked mashups this morning! I danced around my room for an hour! ;-0) Then I ate while I read, and Mark fixed up my computer and we watched the X-Men 3 Teaser, which has me all kinds of excited. It looks like it will be on par with the first 2 which is cool. I'm still a tiny bit nervous about it, because I enjoyed the first 2 so much, but it looks like it's going to kick ass! It also looks like it's following the whole 'cure' for mutants thing - which mirrors the whole 'cure' for gays thing. I think I'm gonna like it a lot. I think Beast looks kind of stupid, but he looks kind of stupid in the comic, so that doesn't bother me. It looks like Colossus & Kitty Pryde will be getting more screen time and I approve whole heartedly. Looks like Storm flies (finally!), and has another haircut - which is yet another improvement of her first do. A bit of phoenix & cyclops, Rogue & Iceman. Pyro, Magneto & Mystique were all seen; the latter with longer hair. Wolverine, of course, and Prof. X - not to mention ANGEL. ;-0) I'm far more excited about this movie than Superman Returns, though Supes will probably do better at the theater - he's got a huge following, but I think the X-Men flicks have been the best of the recent Superhero Flick Trend.

See The X3 Teaser Here.

Now, I'm gonna go brush my teeth, and shave this fur off my face. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:17 AM
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   Wednesday, December 7, 2005

I wore my new shoes to work yesterday, which was fun for awhile, before they started killing me. Work was slow, and sort of...tiring. I called Janice, but she wasn't at home, and Jerry was in the hospital; Justin & Jordan were home alone, so I talked with them the entire way home, and then some, which was great. I was so tired though. I watched the latest Desperate Housewives, which is really getting good again, in my opinion, and then I went to sleep. I woke up around 4am; my stomache in knots, and I took a bath, which helped a little. I was not feeling good at all. I got back to bed, and woke up around 8:30am when Mark got in the shower. I'm still really tired, but I don't feel as bad as I did earlier. I have to work at 1pm so I have to eat & get ready; hopefully I can make it through my shift... erg.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:47 AM
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   Friday, December 9, 2005

I made it through my shift ok on Wednesday. It's always cool working with DJ & Andrea, plus we had a new guy named Jeff (Jeef) who was amausing, and the other Jeff who...was annoying me for some reason. But I started feeling a lot better around the time my shift was due out. I wore jeans to work that day, but I won't have to today. I watched some Dawson's Creek with Mark that night, and then I went to bed.

Thursday I fooled around online, most of the day. It was nice. The final boxed set of Batman: The Animated Series (really The New Batman Adventures) arrived around 4pm; as did the 2nd boxed set of Superman: The Animated Series (really The New Superman Adventures), Star Wars: Clone Wars, Volume 2, and the new Velgarth/Valdemar collection: "Crossroads". I dived into the new Batman DVDS; I'd only seen 3 of these 24 episodes before; I finished the first disc, and I'm nearly done with the 2nd. I've heard people argue about which Batman series is better for YEARS, but I've never really gotten to see them in such detail until now, and though both have their high & low points, I prefer these 24 episodes to the previous series; I enjoy the animation more, and the participation of Batgirl, Tim Drake/Robin & Nightwing - plus they just look cooler. I also watched another Dawson's Creek with Mark. I slept for about 7 hours - then watched another Batman episode.

I went back to bed around 7:30am, and woke up at 8:50am, from a really odd dream. I dreamt I was in my final week of High School, and had to go in at really odd hours. I thought I was getting ready for work, but I was actually being taken to school that ran from 5:05pm-12:30am. lol While getting ready I was on the phone with my cousin Heather, talking about a boy that lived in Mooreville that Jamie & I both dated, which didn't work out and we were all fine with that? lol (this never happened) Then at the after school dinner that was in some warm sunny place, with lots of movie stars, and distant relatives (I remember Jennifer Flynn was there, but she was actress Barbara Bach at the same time?). I sat down between two people, letting my feet dangle in a pool, when I realized I'd just sat down between David Arquette, and Courtney Cox Arquette, and then I felt weird having sat down between this married couple that I didn't even know. Then somehow David was sitting across from us too, with Rosanna & Patricia, and they said that it was ok. And I expressed how I thought the entire family was so gifted, and so attractive. I told them that the first time I saw Rosana was in "Desperately Seeking Susan"; Patricia was in "A Nightmare On Elm Strett, Part III: Dream Warriors" (which seemed to upset her); the first time I saw David was in a magazine article with him and Alexis (who wasn't there - but they explained to me that Alexis was now a woman, and that he hadn't kept the name, which shocked me; the name part. lol - and I wished he'd been there); and I pointed out the first time I saw Courtney was the Bruce Springsteen video, and she hugged me. I also said I remembered her from Family Ties, and Misfits of Science, and the latter brought a smile to her face and she told me she's teaching a class about acting and stuff, and that she tried to sing that theme, but she couldn't remember the words, so I joined in with her with the rest, which she said was "a really great sound!"??? lol And then I woke up. lol

Weird Huh?

I'm going to get something to eat, and watch still more Batman ;-0) I work today, so I have to shave & shower later (not that I don't usually shower a couple times every day), and I have new pants to try on for work. Hopefully today will fly by. I'm really looking forward to watching all these episodes of Batman & Superman. Also, I don't know if I mentioned this before, but the first season boxed set of Teen Titans comes out in February (though I already have all those episodes) and the first seasons of Justice Leauge & Batman Beyond are both due out in March!!! And it's rumored that the final set of Superman episodes (the best ones) will be out in June! Can Static Shock & The Zeta Project be far behind? ;-0)

My only worry about Justice League being released, is that this might mean that Justice League Unlimited may be in it's final 13 episode season, which would suck, as the show has always worked in 26 episode arcs before; not 13. Also, Justice Leauge has 52 episodes - that's the usual number of animated episodes of a series. JLU would only have 39; but with 1 more 13 episode season, they would have 52 episodes, and also have 26 episodes to finish with style, like I know they could. It's still too early to tell though, and there are still rumors of a Legion of Super Heroes series to come (though this may or may not even be part of the DCAU that began with Batman: The Animated Series).

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:18 AM
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   Monday, December 12, 2005

Work was lots of fun on Friday, though we were hella busy, and I was tired after work. I watched some Bats, and slept. On Saturday I watched all but 1 episode of Bats, and then took a break from the computer and went to Borders to get some mashup related tunes, and some books that I didn't really need, but wanted to read anyways. My new cock ring arrived, with some nifty posters for my room, and I ordered some shtuff. (for anyone reading this that remembers, I didn't order pot or acid - lol)

Sunday. Mark went shopping to get stuff, including frames for my new posters, but when he got ready to check out, he had forgotten his wallet! Luckily, he didn't need to buy gas to get home. He came home, got his wallet and headed back out. I made sure to eat something before work, and shaved & showered, and made a mixed cd. Work was mostly fun. I had a really good Buffy/Angel conversation with Redcloud; it's been a while since I had one, and it made me ache to watch the show again. Mark wants to watch it all again, so maybe we can start watching them... Carrie came to see me, which was awesome, but it got really busy at the end, or at least constantly busy, and I was tired, and tired, and even more than that: I was tired. I rented that Lord of The Fans DVD to her on my account, and she left so I could finish my work... I didn't get out too late.

Oh! Also, when I went to work, I also forgot my wallet! lol funny. So I've watched the first couple Superman episodes from the 2nd boxed set, and I really love the Superman show, which I really didn't expect to. It just has a really good continuity to it, that I like, and a really good balance. And the Superman stories carry over so well into Justice League - plus Supes appears in Static Shock and Batman Beyond.

I also learned over the weekend, that while Justice League Season one is being released in fullscreen (which is fine, because that's how it was animated) - the followup seasons are reportedly also being prepped for fullscreen releases (which is absurd, because those seasons were animated in widescreen) - which is really annoying, and pisses me off. So I'm writing friendly letters, and faxes, and possibly even phoning them to let them know that this is a huge mistake, and hopefully they will release them in widescreen.

I just got out of bed about an hour ago. Mark is home; he called in to work. I think he's cleaning the bathroom. I should eat something, and watch some more Supes. ;-0) I might try to track down Mollie later; she wants a mashup cd, and I want to see if we can find the time to see "Rent" and "The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe" together sometime this week.

Ooh. I'm also trying to find a theater that will be playing Brokeback Mountain on Monday, the 19th. It will be playing in about 50 theaters by then, but won't be in really wide release, which sucks, because Mark & I would like to see it on the 10 year anniversary of the night we met.

Brokeback Mountain is doing great in it's limited release. It's grossed an absolutely unheard-of $109,000 in each of its 5 theaters for a total of $545,000! Almost all showings were sold out. The movie scored the highest per screen average of any film this year so far. It won the Golden Lion at the Venice Film Festival; it's taken Best Picture awards from The Los Angeles Film Critcs Assn, and the Boston Society of Film Critcs. It's taken Best Director from the same groups, and also the Nationl Board of Review of Motion Pictures; the latter also noted Jake Gyllenhaal as Best Supporting Actor. The movie made the American Film Institute's top 10 list for 2005. There's a ton of Oscar Buzz, and generally good reviews - plus other wacky awards...Entertainment Weekly rated all of Jake Gyllenhaal's on screen romances and Brokeback Mountain got 10 out of 10. Heath Ledger is getting a ton of good press from the movie. Other GLBT themed movies like Capote & Transamerica are also being cited for praise, as well as a few films with gay twists. Nice.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:13 PM
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   Thursday, December 15, 2005

I wasn't feeling like going out Monday, so I stayed in with Mark & watched some dvds. Tuesday, work was work, though it flew by. Tuesday night I watched more Dawson's Creek with Mark. I later went to the Aut Bar, where I hadn't been in a few months. I talked to Terry, and Robert, and Bob. And then in walked singing Robert, with Franklin in tow, with Garret & Zeek, and some other guys. We all went up stairs, and had lots of fun talking and laughing, and being affectionate, and singing of course; the last song of the night being Angel by Sarah McLachlan, which Robert, Franklin & I kicked ass on ;-0) Franklin fixed my bent up glasses, and said he'd like to hang out with me on Wednesday, and before we said goodbye in the parking lot we decided that he would call me. He didn't, which didn't surprise or overly disappoint me. I think I'm slowly becoming immune to the boy gene.

I've been trying to get in touch with Shawn & Jonathan the last few nights. I've been worried about them, and worried about how I met react to them...and worried about how my big mouth might get me into trouble - but it didn't. And Shawn e-mailed me back, and let me know some stuff that hopefully means that things will one day be as right as they ever were; possibly better than that - so that's good.

Mark & I watched still more Dawson's Creek. I hate the first quarter of the 3rd Season, but once you get beyond that the show gets really good again. There are parts of it, which I know Mollie would love, if she'd watch it.

King Kong. I haven't been all that excited about it. It's odd because I used to love King Kong. I owned King Kong, Son of Kong, King Kong vs. Godzilla, King Kong (1976) and King Kong Lives!, when it wasn't cool to like them. I even had all the available Godzilla movies at that time (1987 or so), and the original Mighty Joe Young (I never saw the remake). Now Godzilla is back in a whole series of films that I never saw, and King Kong is back again, in a movie that is getting really good reviews. I'm starting to want to see it... But I'm just a bit wary, because I love the original & I even love the 1976 remake with all it's cheesy dialogue (it has a great music score - which gives me chills - and I don't care what anybody says - Jessica Lang was amazing in that role). King Kong Escapes (the only Kong movie I never owned, but had seen) is now available on DVD, and I'm tempted to get caught up in all those old movies I enjoyed as a kid...but I'm not sure that I want to.

I'm also considering seeing The Family Stone. I'm going to try to see Rent & Narnia today with Mollie. I hate the people at the theater; but I enjoy the movies when the audience is absent or obscure - or just really cool. I hope we enjoy our movies.

Word has it that Justice League's 2nd season will be released in Widescreen after all (which is a load of my mind, since I'm obviously pretty geeky). ;-0) I've been watching Superman, and only have a handful of episodes to go. I really like Bizarro, which I didn't expect. I didn't really love the Dr. Fate episode, though I enjoy him on Justice League. I'm wondering if I'll like the 2 upcoming Steel episodes; he's in JLU. Anyways...I'm sleepy, and rambly.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:25 AM
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I watched the gay themed comedy "Boat Trip" last night. It's like a straight movie, disguised as a gay movie, and some of it was fun, while a lot of it was just crap - but I don't generally enjoy comedies, so take that for what it's worth. I didn't get to sleep until aroun 4:30am. I woke up around 9:30am, or at least got out of bed around then - woke up when Mark was getting ready to leave.

I read a little bit, and mixed a cd. I watched last week's Nip/Tuck, which was fantastic - which was nice since I kind of hated the last one. 3 more episodes to go this season, but I'm trying to not watch them so I can see them with Mollie when she watches them; she won't be able to come over for NipTuck/Desperate Housewives until at least sometime next week, and I'm not even sure what my schedule will be like then.

Looks like Mark & I won't be seeing Brokeback Mountain on our anniversary after all; it will be playing in Detroit, but it won't have a wider release until at least January 6th, and we'd rather just wait to see it, and see King Kong on our day together, which suits me fine.

Mark & switched off the car around 1pm. The roads are pretty crappy, but the snowflakes are big and fluffy, and really beautiful, especially with my new cd playing. ;-0) I went to Hollywood to say hello, and DJ was watching SERENITY, which he thought was ok, though he said that he wants to finish it so he can watch episode 5 of Buffy, which has me geeked! DJ + Buffy = something I've been waiting years for!!! He borrowed the first season from me once, but didn't watch any of it, which I thought was the last straw, but he's getting into it, which is fantastic; he even liked the Mantis Woman episode.

The gift card readers weren't working, and I was going to use them to buy Clone Wars for my nephews, and get 3 queer titles for me - I got Clone Wars, but put off the hassle on my movies until work tomorrow, when I can deal with them.

I'll probably leave early to pick up Mollie since I'd rather hang out with her before the movie, than arrive late. She gets off work at 5pm, and we'll see the Chronicles of Narnia at 6:10pm, and Rent at 9:10pm. Maybe I'll go get some food before, or we can run out to McDonalds or something between shows; there's like a 40 minute window there. I don't know.

My website has been getting a lot of traffic lately, which I don't quite understand, though it's nice. I've gotten a few random, positive e-mails from guys, who mostly live on the other side of the planet, telling me I'm hot, which is nice to hear, though I wish I could see these guys in person, if only to hang out.

Speaking of which...I need to find time to hang out with Bob. And maybe I'll give Franklin a call sometime soon so we can really hang out. Maybe. Maybe not. Not sure.

It's really warm in here; I'm gonna go do something elsewhere; maybe just watch the snowfall, or take a walk.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:14 PM
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   Friday, December 16, 2005

The watched highlghts from the first X-Men movie, before going to pickup Mollie around 4:30pm. It took me a half hour to get to Mollie's work in the snow, but it was very pretty, and Mollie got off at 5pm anyways. I got to see Jennifer & Kenny, and hear about Mollie's crazy customers. We went to Mollie's place so she could change, then we went to McDonalds on Carpenter, which had been completely restructured, and was really nice. We went to Showcase and saw the Narnia movie, which was long and boring; I love the story, and I liked Mr. Tumnis, and the hotness of the kids when they grew up at story's end, but the creatures looked like stuffed animals, and the added material wasn't worth it. If it had been a television mini-series, I would have cut it more slack, but it wasn't, so I don't. Thankfully, RENT was fantastic, so the movie night ended on a happy note. I dropped Mollie off; we said our goodbyes, and agreed that fun was had.

Driving home was easy; the roads had mostly been cleared, and it had stopped snowing. Mark's working on his phone/computer so he's not up for Dawson's Creek. I feel kind of sleepy, but I'm not sure I want to sleep right now. I could read, or have a snack, or play a game or watch a movie or...something.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:40 AM
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I played Aliens VS. Predator 2: Primal Hunt, and beat it as 2 of the species, then I went to bed around 2:30am. When I woke up this morning, I thought I had overslept, and frantically got ready for work, only to discover that I was ready an hour early. Better than late I guess. I ate & chilled, and I was ontime for work.

Work was fun. I worked with DJ, Bryan, Scott, Pat, Nate & Matt. I shared my riddles with Deej & Bry, and DJ told me he completely agreed with my views on the new Narnia movie. He also said that the guy who played Peter was cute, which I agreed on, though I think they all looked cuter when they were 'older'. I watched the dvd extras on the Serenity disc on my break, and around 6:10 (40 minutes after my shift officially ended) I punched out and watched the beiginning of the Polar Express while waiting for my ride with Mark. When Mark showed up, I rented the dvd and we were off to Media Play for their going out of business sale, which was mostly lame, though I picked up a few items for me (2 $7.99 movies, 2 cds & a Trek book) plus multiple gifts for my neice & nephews.

We went to Kroger to get groceries. In all that shopping I also had a phone conversation with my older sister Janice, and I left messages for Carrie & Mollie. Mark's currently asleep; he told me to let him rest his eyes for 5 minutes, so we could watch Dawson's Creek, but it's been nearly 2 hours, as I've been reading my e-mail, checking the news, and updating my blog - and listening to my new cds. I'll wake him in a little while and we'll watch the Creek.

I have the next 3 days off. I only work Tuesday & Friday next week. Wednesday night Necto is allowing the Hollywood crew to have a party in the red room, so I'll have to go to that, and I'm wondering if I can invite my friends; I know that I'm only supposed to bring 1 buddy, but it would be nice if Mollie & Carrie could come, though Carrie not drinking or smoking might hate it, and I wouldn't want to tempt her or anything, it would just be nice to spend time with her. She might be going to the Staples bowling party on Sunday, so hopefully I'll see her there.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:05 PM
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   Sunday, December 18, 2005

After the last entry, I took a shower and woke Mark up; we watched the last 4 episodes of the 3rd Season of Dawson's Creek, then Mark & I went to our rooms, and both went to sleep. I don't know what time I woke up. I know I slept well, and that did nothing. lol I relaxed, but I had some acid issues, and it was annoying. I slept later, which was a mistake. I wrote some e-mails, and I later talked to Mollie briefly on the phone about tomorrow night. Mark & I watched the 1st episode of Season 4 of the Creek, and then he went to bed and I finished watching the Polar Express, which I enjoyed; it reminded me of "The Thief of Always" & the Harry Potter books in that it's a children's story, but told in such a fashion that it can appeal to a larger audience. And now I'm writing this.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:13 AM
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I went to sleep for a little while, and Mark woke me up saying he smelled smoke. Our smoke detector doesn't have a battery in it; it died a few weeks ago. I could smell something too; it smelled like burning plastic. It was stronger downstairs, we searched all over but couldn't find anything & we couldn't see any smoke. I got dressed and we went outside but there was no smoke visible, and some of our closest neighbors have moved out and the shades were open so we could see that there wasn't a fire or smoke in there. It might be the wiring in the wall, which is scary, and it might be the downstairs computer which is shut off now - I hope it's all ok. The downstairs computer has all my slash art on it, and my tv shows, and a ton of stuff for gothboy.

erg.

I'm so tired, but I'm going to stay up for as long as I can, just in case.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:03 AM
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Well, we made it through the night with no fire, at least none that we can see. I haven't been downstairs yet, but I'm hoping the burning smell has drifted out the window we opened. Mark is in the shower, having just cut his hair, and is going to his storage unit & Kroger to pick up a few things. I decided yesterday that I didn't really feel like going out at all, so I stayed home, but I'll probably go to Borders later today with my 30% off coupon, and my $15.00 gift card (Thanks Peter!), to get the full Rent Soundtrack, and the latest issue of The Advocate.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:41 PM
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Mark found the problem; our X-Box died last night. I left it on, but that shouldn't have been a huge problem; apparently the mechanism that spun the discs stopped working. I'm glad it wasn't the computer, or the wiring in the walls, and I had stopped playing games on the X-Box at least a year ago; we only used it as a dvd player, which we can use the computer for, until we can get a Playstation 3, which I wanted to get anyways. So that's cool.

On a side note, I've been trying to find black & white Advantix film, but apparently no one has it anymore. All the online places say they are out of stock, or that's it's temporarily unavailable, but there's nothing explaining why. It sucks. I wanted to take some new photos for my webpage. I also wanted some new photos for my gay.com profile; I've had the same profile name for years, but I was never really happy with it. I opened a new one, but didn't feel like using old pictures in it; even pix less than a year old, so I haven't been chatting there at all - which isn't a big deal, but it's nice to chat there sometimes. If anyone reads this and has access to the film I'm looking for, or knows what's going on, please let me know. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:14 PM
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   Monday, December 19, 2005

Went to Borders on Washtenaw last night to get the Rent soundtrack but they didn't have it; then I met up with Mollie, Carrie, Adam, Jennifer & the other Staples people for Bowling. I won a game; bowling a 163, which is rare for me, because I generally suck really bad at bowling. It was mostly fun, though after a wacky encounter with this one guy who was there, and the night ending all abruptly I left feeling kind of blue. I stopped by Hollwood Video to say hello to Josh Rosen, and then Aut Bar, which was lame. I got home around 11:30pm, and watched some Dawson's Creek with Mark, who gave me an anniversary card (though we'd decided not to get each other anything); it was a good way to end the night.

We saw King Kong today, which I really enjoyed. I knew the previous Kongs so well that I was able to pick up on a lot of stuff, and the movie made me cry. We ate at Red Robin after the movie, then Mark dropped me off at Borders downtown while he went to the storage unit to pick up some gothzone orders. I got the complete Rent Soundtrack (finally), which I'm listening to right now while I type this. I also got the new Advocate, and I read that when I got home, and the new Entertainment Weekly. I read the news at gay.com, and CNN, and now I'm writing this, and probably going to watch some Dawson's Creek with Mark who just walked into my room. In a few hours I'll have known him for 10 years. ;-0)

I might go to the Necto later, but I'm not sure, because I'm kind of tired, and I have to go there Wednesday night for work.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:03 PM
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   Tuesday, December 20, 2005

I watched 2 Dawson's Creek episodes with Mark, then I got ready and went to Necto, which was mostly boring, though it was nice to see Becky, Greg, Vince & Sandor - plus there were peeps from online and stuff. I got to talk to Sandor, which I haven't done in ages. He's got a new band, Kouture, and I met his bandmate Patrick, who remembered me from the night that I made out with Sandor - weird. Sandor is single now, but he's not dating, or even fucking, which is fine, though when I'm up close with him and we're looking at each other...erg. I talked to Becky for awhile and Wednesday night's Hollywood party at Necto is also a Necto Christmas Party so she'll be there, and I promised her I'd try to get DJ to come to the party.

After the bar, I came home, said hello to Shawn Foreman, who wants me to call him tomorrow after 8pm; hope all is well with the 'Shwan' monster. I chatted with Bobby, who's home in Grand Haven, which sucks because we'd love to explore our hopefully budding friendship - plus we're both attracted. roar. I also talked with Paul in sunny California who saw Brokeback Mountain already, and is suffering guilty feelings because most members of his family are dead or dying or suffering and he's not around to help them, and can't afford to send them anything because of him being broke after their recent move. I tried to cheer him up because he's my friend, and a great guy who doesn't deserve to feel crappy...I think I made him smile at least.

I said goodnight to those two - stroked off, and showered, while trying to get the massive amounts of eyeliner off. I need to wash my work clothes, which I just remembered - and I need to get some sleep. I work from 1pm-5:30pm, and then again on Friday. blah. I have the Rent soundtrack in my head, which is nice. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:21 AM
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I put all my work clothes in the washer last night, and watched last week's Nip/Tuck, thinking I'd put the clothes in the dryer after the episode ended - except that I fell asleep, and didn't remember that bit until about 6 minutes ago - so now I'm waiting for my clothes to dry, and may be late to work - which sucks.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:55 AM
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   Wednesday, December 21, 2005

I was 20 minutes late for work. There was construction going on inside the store, of the loud, smelly variety. It sucked. There were a few stress filled encounters, and I didn't get my break until it was time for me to leave, but I managed to have some fun anyways. ;-0) I worked with Bryan, Bobby, Matt, Heidi & Nate; Josh & Pat stopped by, and DJ called. It was an ok day of work. I went to Meijer with Mark after work (I stayed an hour late I think), and then we came home. I watched an episode of Drawn Together, and then I called Shawn for some random giggles, before taking a brief nap. I read the news online, and my e-mail, and then read part of a book I bought the other night about Angel: The Series. Mark just went to bed, and I feel like doing something, but I'm not sure what that something will be, as of yet. Wish me luck.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:06 AM
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   Thursday, December 22, 2005

I ordered some movies yesterday, and I got some stuff sorted, and just enjoyed my day off. I chatted with Mark & Bobby. I went to Necto around 9:30pm for the Necto/HV party. Bryan & Chris were there, along with Bryan's visiting cousin Derek. Jeff & Sarah later arrived. Matt, Sarah & Heidi showed up later, as did Nate, Pat, & Ben. I had a really good time, though the music sucked. Jeff, Sarah & Chris all went home fairly early. Bryan & Ben both got to bartend. Becky, Scott & DJ Jinx were all there enjoying the party, and Robert, Fabio, and Ryan were there. There was an after party at Matt's house, which I drove Matt, Bryan & Derek too; fun was had by all, and I drove Bryan & Derek to Bryan's place and came home. Got here around 4:10am; had a snack and read my e-mail & stuff. I'm about ready to collapse.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:38 AM
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   Friday, December 23, 2005

I watched the final 2 episodes of Nip/Tuck's 3rd season and they were awesome!!! They were filled with surprises, and really restored my faith in the series; it had wavered a few weeks back, but it turned out beautifully. And shockingly, a series I enjoy is actually a hit. According to reports, Nip/Tuck ended it's third season with more young adult viewers than any other single episode of a cable series this year! Those final 2 episodes averaged a 3.0 rating/9 share among adults 18-49 and 5.7 million total viewers; those numbers also made the episodes the most-watched single telecast in FX's history. The 3rd season also remained the highest-rated series on basic or pay cable among adults 18-49. And among all viewers, Nip/Tuck was cable's 4th most-watched show of 2005. It is nice to watch a program that I enjoy, which isn't just fabulous in my opinion, but also watched by others as well. I can't wait to watch those episodes with Mollie.

I'm going to try to catch up on ALIAS. I haven't watched the last 5 episodes, though I have them. From what I've read, it's gotten better...and I do want to be caught up when the series finale rolls around.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:30 AM
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I'm awake...sort of. Getting ready for work; I work 1pm-5:30pm, of course Mark gets off at 6pm, so I have to wait for him, then he'll drop me off here, and then he'll go visit his mom. I'm worried about him driving the car so far (Toledo) by himself. He ran over a hook yesterday that got stuck in the right rear tire, but didn't seem to puncture the tube. He called Suburu and they said it was probably ok... but that doesn't sound good to me. I wish we had the money to just get a new tire.

blah.

The oven is beeping.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:39 AM
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   Monday, December 26, 2005

Saturday was mostly horrible. I don't know if it was holiday blues, or what, but I was just freaked out all day. When I did finally make it out to my Grandmother's I was disturbed by a lot of what I saw, and realized that I don't really like a good assortment of my relatives, which I've never really given a lot of thought to. I did however get to see my nephews, and my niece, and Grandma & Grandpa, and Janice, and Aunt Marge's whole family. Jamie didn't even say hello to me; I said hello to Heather and she was clearly disgusted, as was her preacher husband. I only get a few presents a year, because I have a bad track record with Christmas, and I just sort of dropped out of the entire holiday, but my Mother has found that I enjoy cups with Elephants on them, because of a childhood cup that I had. This year she gave me an Elephant with a Jason cup - which made me smile ;-0) I got money from my grandma, per usual, which I've already spent on other people. And the wife of a cousin that I had a long lasting sexual relationship with, gave me a pillow she made that said "God Bless America - Support Our Troops!" - and instead of handing it back to her, and saying something about how I don't believe in god, and I don't support the current war, though I'm not upset with the troops themselves - AND I wouldn't be caught dead with such a pillow in my home - I just took it and smiled, and then left it under my grandmother's bed - which was childish, and I just...I was so not myself. I had a fun conversation with Chris White, Janice, Mark, Katie & Jonathan. ;-0) There were moments I enjoyed, but mostly I just wanted to leave, which hasn't happened since I lived there about a decade ago. When we left, I went over to say hello to my mother's dog, and she tried to bite me. The dog is mean; it's kept outside on a chain - which is really horrible. My family doesn't take care of pets - and yet they have a ton of them - it has really turned me off to pets, and my family at the same time.

But, my Mother makes beautiful beadwork; just really creative stuff!!! And I remember being so close with my cousins when we were little; Heather & I used to ride rides together at the fair, and at amusement parks, and now she doesn't talk to me at all. It's just...sad...and yet we're so different now that we probably wouldn't like each other very much if we did talk. Ugh.

When Mark & I got home we watched Dawson's Creek, and it felt so good to be at home with him, in our little haven. I told him how much I loved him, and thanked him for getting me out there when I was a kid. It was nice.

Sunday I knew I worked at 7pm, and that I could probably dress casual to work because it was a holiday - and yet I still wasn't feeling up to snuff. I was still feeling the negative effects of Christmas Eve. I knew it would be fine, because DJ had told me that we closed early, at 10pm, so my shift was only like 3 hours long, and then we'd close the store and put out the new movies, because they're coming out on Monday this week, which I don't quite understand. I made plans with Mark to watch more Dawson's Creek when I got home around 11pm. But when I got to work, they said we closed at midnight, which pissed me off to no end. Nate called DJ to confirm this, and Nate said that DJ said that he didn't remember telling us we would close at 10pm, but I know he told me & Bryan, and when Heidi came in to close the store, she said that DJ had also told her that we were closing at 10pm. I was so pissed off. It wasn't like 2 more hours were going to kill me, but I was in such a foul mood, and I had been telling myself that it would only be 3 hours and then I could be with Mark, watching Dawson's Creek. I must have looked like I was going to kill. Nate said he'd close for me, and that he could use the money, and so I left a little after 10pm.

There was a message on my phone from Jonathan Lanius; I called him back when I got home, but he was driving, and he asked me to call him back in a few minutes, which I did. I was feeling a bit spacy because I'd taken a few Midrin at work, but it was nice to hear from him, only my overly negative weekend wasn't over. Jonathan was calling to wish me happy christmas, but he also told me his Grandfather died on Thursday, and that he & Shawn broke up just before that. It was all very depressing, though I assured him that I do want to keep in touch with him, and that Mark, Mollie & I all would like to be his friends - and that we would all, of course, remain friends with Shawn too. It was a nice conversation, but it left me feeling sad for both of them.

I told Mark the news, and he agreed that Jonathan was cool and that we'd remain friends with him. We continued with Dawson's Creek. I had some food to help with my drug induced haze, but it sort of made it worse. The show made me cry, but I felt like I was crying for everything that had happened this weekend. Before Mark went to bed he said some odd things about how a relationship like ours, is something that he would never wish on anyone - which struk me as offensive, considering that he tells me he loves me all the time, and I do the same to him; we're there for each other, and we support each other - and I even attempted to get back together with him, which he didn't accept - so I'm not sure what he means... It's kind of bothering me. erg. And people talk about how our relationship is so unique, and so cool...what did Mark mean? He didn't explain.

I watched "Spin The Bottle"; I only meant to watch one scene, but then I watched it all, and Mark is going to watch it tomorrow so we can finally talk about it. I hope Shawn is ok. I hope Jonathan is ok. I hope I'm ok. Oh. Mark & I are going to see Janice and her family on New Year's Eve - that's when I was going to give them their gifts - but I'm not sure they'll even be here before Saturday. Also, Jonathan & Shawn are having a final party together that night, before they go their seperate ways, and J really wants us to be there. I'll have to figure out how this is going to work.

I'm tired. Maybe I'll get some sleep.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:02 AM
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   Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I didn't get any sleep before work on Monday, and my horrible weekend continued; I felt a little better by the time I left work, but not quite good. I went to bed as soon as I got home, and it felt good to get some sleep. I caught up on ALIAS on Tuesday, and something I heard about the show, turned out to be false, but it has improved since the start of the season, and ended with a cliffhanger, which sucks because the show doesn't come back until March. Hopefully the show will end well.

Mark had a bad day. I was going to take Mollie her Rent cds, but she has a cold and was going to bed. She has the weekend off, and possibly Monday too; I have no idea what days off I have next week, but I always have Tuesdays off, and I'm hanging out with Janice/Dad/Justin/Jordan/Jillian & Jonathan here at the condo. I'm looking forward to that. I might go see Brokeback Mountain tonight, or possibly Thursday night, which would be nice. Mark & I are planning on going to the Shawn/Jonathan New Year's Eve party, which will hopefully be fun...and I most likely close the store Sunday night. I work until Saturday this week. If Mollie & I both have Monday off, which isn't really that likely, we'd like to have a Nip/Tuck Marathon; she's behind by 9 episodes, and I really want to not ruin the ending for her.

I need to go to the grocery store, and get things ready for when I go to work later today. I don't want to be in a crabby mood at work today; I want to have fun. And it's easier for me to do that when I don't have to run around looking for stuff, and getting ready super fast just before work. I like taking my time getting ready, and for me, that requires a little forethought. So...I guess I should get that done now.

I miss Jennifer. I really do. And I'm bummed about the Shawn/Jonathan breakup. A lot. erg. Maybe I'll call Jennifer before I go to the grocery store. I don't think she'll answer, but I could leave her a message at least. And I should call Jonathan tomorrow to let him know we plan on going to the party.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:50 AM
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   Friday, December 30, 2005

I didn't go to the grocery store Wednesday morning. I realized I was more tired than I had first suspected, and decided I'd get a few hours sleep, drive Mark to work and get groceries on the way home, before getting a bit more sleep before work. But it didn't work out the way I planned; nothing ever does, which is why I try not to plan things ahead of time; fate always seems to shit on me when I do.

I hit the snooze button too many times, and when I did finally stumble out of bed, and wake Mark up for work, it was almost time for him to be there. I told him I was driving him to work, and that I'd get groceries on the way home. Mark has been having some physical problems, and he decided that he was going to call the doctor and make an appointment; he got one at 10am; it was already after 9am, and I couldn't drive him, wait at the doctor's, drop him off, and still have time for sleep, so I went back to bed and tried to sleep. I was telling fate to kiss my ass, but I was glad that Mark was going to the appointment; I worry about him.

Mark left in a hurry, after a shower that seemed too loud; the water was probably louder in my room than it was in the tiled shower space. I couldn't sleep, and stopped trying. I worked on a cd. Been so long since I finished a project, and I thought it might help me clear my head. I've been fuzzy ever since Christmas Eve; ever since I realized that the great divide that once, so obviously seperated Gay Jason from his straight ignorant relatives hadn't ceased to exist; it had only been ignored. That was something that I could never have done while living among them, but it was also something easier to ignore when Mark & I escaped. The few relatives that I came to respect in my youth were still amazing people, while ones that I had loved with no thought of who they were... they betrayed me without a second glance, just as I once knew that they would.

The project helped, and I did finish it. I started getting ready for work, and Mark called me to let me know that his appointment had been kept, and that he had lost all faith in modern medicine. I gave Mark some idea of what I wanted from the store... which wasn't much. I had planned on wandering the aisles, just grabbing what looked best. Food & I have never mixed well, even before it hurt me the way it does now. It was sweet of him to go though, and it made me smile a little brighter.

Work was long, and busy, and I was tired. I called a woman by her name, as most cashiers in retail are taught to do, after seeing someone's I.D.; it's to help confirm that the person is who they say they are, and it's just 2nd nature to me after all these years. If the person doesn't anwer to the name on the I.D., then that's a pretty good sign that trouble's brewing. But this woman glared at me, and said: "Don't you be calling me by my name, likes you know me."!?! Sometimes when I'm tired, I don't think; I just speak, and this time I was so tired, that I didn't even have the energy to act offended, or to raise my voice; I simply said: "From your demeanor, I'd have to say that the people that know you must call you something other than your name.", which should have led to something other than what it did. I think the people in line who were obviously put off by her harsh tone with me, and were subsequently amused by my retort, shamed her into not making anymore of a scene. I've had a knack for sarcasm my entire life; maybe because the world I was raised in terrifed me. There have been many times, when this cowardly humor has been a kind of curse that I wanted no part of... but there are other moments, when its strengths justify the horrible need for it's existence.

DJ later told me that I was funny; not because of what I'd said to the woman, but because when it came time to take my break, and Jeff had his stuff all over the break room (though he was now off the clock), and he wouldn't stop talking to me (though it was obvious to almost everyone who saw me that I needed this break more than usual), I looked him square in the eye and said that I was on my break, and that if he could just stop talking, then I would appreciate it. I wasn't trying to be rude, and I didn't intend the remark to be funny; I just really longed for silence. I had to wait for Mark to pick me up after my shift; I usually work the extra time it takes him to arrive, but this time I punched out, made some calls to Mollie, Jonathan, Shawn, & Janice, and then put my head down. Bryan saw me, and turned off the cd player in the office, and shut off the lights for me; it was a small act of kindness from a friend, that I really appreciated, and made me think of a dream once confessed to me, and a previous conversation which only hinted at the dream's profound effect.

I wanted to sleep when I got home, but I also wanted to stay awake for a few hours so that Thursday night I'd be more likely to be awake and willing to see "Brokeback Mountain", which Mark obviously wanted to see this week, but which I was slightly afraid would make this last weekends realizations more painful. Mollie & I had spoken at work, and her cold has gotten worse, and yet she couldn't get Monday off; I still have no schedule for next week; DJ always does it late in the week, and I sometimes don't see it until the new week has started. I'm thinking I'll rent Dark Shadows for Mollie, and drop off her cds with the dvds Friday Night or Saturday so that she has something to distract her from her illness over her weekend off.

My older sister, Janice... We used to enjoy the same books and movies, and that was something that really glued us together. She gave me a book to read, which I've had for nearly a year now, and I finally got around to reading it through; it wasn't horrible, and I probably would have enjoyed it a lot more when I was younger, but as it is, it just made me sad. Sad for the characters, which is cool, but also a bit sad that the Jason & Janice who shared the same opinions on stuff like that don't exist anymore, or if they do, they are buried under so much reality that we barely see them anymore. I'm really excited about giving her & the kids their New Year's presents, which I think will be fun, and I think Janice will really like her gifts. I got her a newer edition of the book she let me borrow, which features a real house on the cover, which is the place where much of the action of the book is centered; I think she'll really like that.

I managed to get a lot more sleep, and was well prepared for work to be busy, except that it was mostly not. I worked with the other 2 Jeffs, Josh, and Scott most of the day. Scott will be starting a new job and won't be with us anymore, which is too bad; he fit in rather well after awhile, though I guess my interactions with him are too random to really say that. But his friendly nature was appreciated by me. Jeff R. was in a good mood, and things have generally been good between us the last month or so. He told me that after his girlfriend got to spend more time with me at the Necto/Hollywood party last week, she decided she wanted to know more about me, and Jeff sent her to my webpage; she later told him that she learned a lot about me. lol He said the tone of her voice made him laugh. Hopefully she wasn't frightened away; she's sweet.

I bought still more presents for Janice & family - and now that's all set. I just need to wrap everything, and get cards, and boxes - plus I need to get something for Dad. I've never gotten anything for my dad. Nothing that I can remember. What do you get for a man who so traumatized you in youth, but is so broken now, as to inspire pity? I sometimes wish that I had more money & that I could afford to take care of him; perhaps repairing some of what has been damaged between us. I'd like to get his teeth fixed, and get him medicated, and repaired, and just... as comfortable as he can be... And yet I don't often think of him. It's scary how much influence parents can have on the life their children will lead, even their children leave them behind; our childhooods ghost us long after we forget they exist.

After work, I set up all the gifts. I took a shower. I had taken one before sleeping, and still felt really clean before work, and (in a rare moment) decided to skip my pre-work shower. The hot water felt good on my scalp. I'd had a terrible headache at work, but had my pills with me. My jaw is so fucked up now, that any day that I smile a lot, or talk or whatever, I get a headache; not all of which require a controlled substance, thankfully, but this one really did. It was gone, but it haunted me. I smiled, and felt good about my energy... dressed, and left with Mark for Brokeback.

The movie was quiet, and slowly moving. The audience was mostly well behaved, though a few annoying people to our left, and just behind us were sometimes loud with conversation, and their was laughter in places that were tragic. Surprisingly, astonishingly, none of the many straight people made noises of disgust during the male/male affection scenes; and the ill timed laughter seemed to be aimed at the other characters, who were no less deserving of silence. I didn't think the movie affected me; it didn't seem to get inside me, until it was over, and then it was still with me. It was so subtle as to be utterly shocking to find it there with me, in the hall, in the car... I cried. When I got home, my headache had returned, and so had the pills. I put the Brokeback soundtrack on, and went to talk to Mark who showed me his blog, which I haven't read since he began writing in it. I used to check his blog all the time, even after he'd done something and no one could read it. I'd even told him a few times, but he didn't feel like writing, I suppose. His words made me smile; grateful that we've shared each others' company for as long as we have. He held me in his bed, while I tried to will away the pain in my head, and our snuggles (so rare these days) made the images of the film resurface, and enrage me, even as I drifted into a short nap.

When I woke, I told Mark that I was going to take another hot shower to help with the pain, and that maybe we could wrap gifts after I got out. He said he might not be awake by then, and I told him I'd wake him. The shower was nice. I got the prsents ready for wrapping, but decided to let Mark sleep; we can wrap them after work tomorrow. Maybe go to the card shop on Saturday, before I go to Mollie's? I cleared the gifts from my bed, and I slept. I dreamed about the movie.

When I woke at around 5am, I picked up the Brokeback book I bought a month or two ago, and I read it straight through. It's only 55 pages long, and the story is powerful. The film adaptation is amazing, and brilliant. This may seem like an odd comparison, but years ago, while staying the night at a friend's home for the night in Royal Oak; I couldn't sleep, and I picked a Clive Barker book off of her shelf, and I read the short story that was the basis for the Candyman movie; a film I really enjoyed. The short story that inspired it was also very good, and it was breathtaking to see this bare bones version; the skeleton of the film. It was like that again with Brokeback, though I fear I'll be haunted by this story for the rest of my life; in a way, I already have been.

I had a snack after the reading, which was nice. The cold BOOST felt rich & powerful sliding down my throat. I felt like writing in my blog, and here is the result. A post longer than I expected, but hopefully enlightening.

A note about Mark's webpage. The music that plays over it, is a wordless version of "Trust" by The Cure. I first heard this song, on 89X around 1991. The song has been a favorite of mine for years, for obvious reasons to those that know me...the words could easily pertain to many people, I'm sure, which is what gives them their power. But hearing it play on Mark's site, I can't help but link it to Mark & myself, and the result is rather staggering.

I work 1pm-5:30pm today; I might get some more sleep. I might read Brokeback again. My headache is back; not sure why, but this one is kicking my ass. I'm not gonna take any pain pills for it though. There's no point at the moment.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:37 AM
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