Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Ok. This will most likely be a very long post, as I've been putting this off for days now.

Friday, we were dead at work, again. But my coworkers, as usual, were fun to be with. I got a roll of film developed, which turned out great; lots of pix of coworkers, some friends from Necto & Aut bar. Friday night, I stayed in; Art Fair sucks. Over the weekend I reread "Magic's Pawn" by Mercedes Lackey, almost without trying; and just like all the other times I've read it, I cried a lot.

Saturday morning I tried to watch "Mallrats", and failed. My cousin Joy had suggested we see "Clerks II" together, and I had to tell her that I saw the prescreening of "Clerks" for free, and walked out of the theater, 3 quarters of the way through the movie out of boredom. I'd never seen the prequel "Mallrats" (which takes place 1 day before "Clerks") though I own "Chasing Amy" & loved "Dogma" (both of which take place 2 years after "Clerks"). "Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back" (which takes place 3 years after "Dogma" )was mostly stupid, but in a fun kind of way - and their cameo in "Scream 3" was perfectly cool. Anyways, I've come to the conclusion, that I don't need to be a fan of the entire series; I'll just stick to the ones that I love. I slept all day, which was FABULOUS. When I woke, there was a voicemail from Jeremy who was still up North, but had some minutes and a signal, and could now tell me how bored he was, as everyone else was out 'log splitting'; lol. Later, I picked up Mollie, bought Jeremy his frivolous, but sweet birthday gift (which he hopefully understands and doesn't hate), picked up a perscription, returned the porn I rented Thursday night, went to McDonalds (where I bought Mollie a Jack Sparrow Plushy, which she loves far too much), and then headed home, where we played Jenga & Poker, until 5:30am. lol I left Jeremy as we were setting up the poker, to tell him that his earlier message made me smile, and that I wish could be playing games with us.

Sunday. Hmmm. I slept. I worked. Work was busy, but then slow at other times; we got everything done (I think). After work, I headed to Club Divine to see if I could maybe get a glimpse of Jeremy, but he wasn't there, and I headed home.

All through the weekend, I worked on my webpage and scanned pictures - mostly at random. I've been writing more poetry this year than in the last few, which pleases me. And I like that I'm putting so much work into the webpage; it's one of those projects that will never be finished, but that isn't the point. ;-0)

Monday morning I drove Mark to work, as he still can't drive; he tried, and failed. ("They tried and failed?" "They tried and died.") As we were about to leave, Jeremy called me. I'd left him a message the night before, telling him of my attempted Jeremy viewing, and he was calling me back. Mark talked to him while I drove Mark to work, then he said goodbye to me, as he had arrived at his destination (a chiropractic appointment); he called me back, about 18 minutes later, and we talked while we drove home. We both had the day off (mostly) but he was really busy. I had an omellette while I finished the Aquaman episode of Smallville; I've been watching the 5th season a lot slower than the previous ones. The Omellette was yummy; made just right, and while they sometimes bother my stomach, this one did not - even when I fell asleep shortly thereafter. I didn't intend to sleep; I just lay down while I was deciding what to do, and I was out like a light, and awoke shortly before it was time to pick up Mark. Nice.

I picked up Mark, and I didn't have to wait for him, which was nice. He wanted to go to Kroger, so we went, and it was all good. He also wanted to go to Best Buy so I could use my gift certificates, but I didn't really want anything, so we headed home. When we got home we took out the trash, and Mark talked to Mollie on the phone; helping her with a computer problem, I think. I got the mail, which included the new Entertainment Weekly, The Advocate, and a letter from my lawyer, telling me that he negotiated a plea bargain on my speeding ticket, from 40 in a 25, to 60 in a 55, which means I won't get any points on my licence (they could have given me up to 3!), and my insurance won't go up at all!!! I still have to pay my ticket tomorrow ($120.00), but that doesn't bother me, as I don't doubt that I was speeding - but the situation called for it, I think, and I didn't deserve the horrible treatment I received as a result thereof by the local police squad.

Mark asked me why I'd put the pan I used for my omelette in with the clean dishes in the dishwasher, and I told him that I thought the dishes were dirty because the washer hadn't been locked, but he insisted that it had been locked. He wasn't there, so how he presumes to know that, I don't know. So I go off and talk to Mollie for awhile on Mark's phone, to tell her about my ticket, and let her tell me about her computer and how it's going to kick ass for games now - and that she's now on the rag, and Cedar Point is mostly out of the question, which I can deal with, as we can maybe set a date, when Mollie is well, and Mark can walk (and drive) - and maybe Jeremy can go too; I like including him in things - I want him to meet my friends and he gets along with Mark really well. It would actually be cool if Danny could go. ;-0)

So after my Mollie conversation, I head downstairs, and Mark is making a salad with one of the bowls he recently bought (which I love), and I tell him that one of the bowls in the dish washer was used to make the omelette, which really pisses him off, he gives me the bowl and when I ask why, he tells me to dump it, which I do, then I sit it on the counter and turn to leave. He asked me if I was going to rinse it out, and I told him no, because I didn't make that mess; shouts after met that: "Yes you did!!!". And shortly there after there is a loud smashing of glass. I tried not to let his behavior upset me, because when I get upset, I get sick; sometimes for hours, sometimes for longer. I was able to not get sick, or upset, and that was a good feeling. Shortly after I got to my room there was another loud glass shattering noise. I didn't let it bother me. Mark later slammed his bedroom door. Something that I'm forbidden to do, as he says that it really hurts his ears - in fact he once told me that since I wasn't sorry for slamming my door that he was going to hit me. But I didn't let any of that get to me. Later when I went downstairs, I found that he had smashed both of the bowls, which I so loved. And again, I didn't let it get to me. I said to myself, that those were his bowls, and if he wants to smash them, that's fine. It was childish and stupid, and could have hurt him, or me - but whatever. What if I had walked into the kitchen in my bare feet, without flipping on the light? There were huge shards of glass all over the place. I figured he wasn't going to clean it up, as to do so would hurt him because of his ankle - and also because he was being a dick. I ate the apple I got at the store earlier, then cleaned up all the glass I could find, before going to Meijer, and buying the same bowls, this time for me; if he breaks these ones, I'll be pissed. lol

He answered a question for me later, but you could tell he didn't want to speak to me, and he kept his door closed the rest of the night, which he doesn't often do. I read, and cleaned my room a bit, and tried to get things ready for today. I slept for an hour and a half, then got Mark out of bed.

We had to be up early as I had a dermatology apointment at 8:35. Turned out that the appointment was at UofM Hospital, and not Briarwood Practices as I had first thought, so I didn't have time to drive Mark to work, and headed out on my own. The appointment went well, I guess. If you're not a fan of TMI, then you wouldn't be reading this, so I'll just continue on I guess. I've had these patches of discoloration on my penis for about a year. I thought it might be an STD and got tested for everything, but it wasn't an STD. I was given a cream to use, but it didn't help. The spots are getting worse. They aren't painful, and I'd been told they wouldn't hurt me or anyone else. And while it's obvious to me that my dick looks different, other people (i.e. - men who see my cock up close and personal) don't seem to be bothered by it. But I'm a bit nervous of having my cock photographed, as it will be apparent that it's changed, when compared to my other photos. It turns out that I have Vitiligo, which I've seen other people have on their bodies; but it's only on my dick, which seems weird. lol I had some blood drawn, as this condition is sometimes linked to those with Thyroid problems, and they gave me A perscription for a cream ("Protopic"), which may help if taken twice a day for 3 to 6 months. The cream is not required, as I'm not in any danger, nor are any people who come into contact with me, but I'm considering it.

I have to work at 1 to 5pm. It turns out I won't be going to Cedar Point tomorrow, which I covered, but that's fine, since I can pay my ticket tomorrow (the last day to do so) and then sleep when I'm done, before I pick up Mark. I have Thursday off as well, which is Jeremy's birthday; I'll have to see if I can get his gift to him.

Alright. I'm going to take a short nap. Oh, and I trimmed my beard this morning, which was good, because it was getting kind of scary. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:00 AM
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   Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I didn't get any sleep before work yesterday, so my stomach was a little troubled, and still is, but it will pass soon enough I'm sure. This time of year, it's really slow at work, and everyone was talking about how slow the day was going by. I just wanted to sleep. I rented "Gattaca" which I've been watching on my breaks at work, but only have about 30 minutes left to watch. I saw bits of it years ago when it was first released on dvd, when Mark rented it and watched it; I remember the ending. I've always wanted to see the entire film, and recently read that Joss Whedon wrote "Serenity" while listening to the "Gattaca" soundtrack. I also rented "The Fury", which I've always enjoyed, but haven't seen in many years.

I picked up Mark from work, and helped him carry in the parts for my new computer; not all the parts have arrived yet though. I was really looking forward to our internet connection being fixed on Thursday, but Mark forgot about the appointment and won't be able to keep it now. :-0( It takes forever to check my e-mail - and update my webpage right now.

I went to bed right after I got home, and slept until around 12:30am. I worked on my weppage a bit, and something to eat. I read, and watched an episode of Trek ("The Tholian Web"). And now...I'm not sure what I'm going to be up to. Especially since I'm not going to Cedar Point today. Erg.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:00 AM
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I drove Mark to work this morning, then came home. I was going to drive to the court house, but then decided to walk, which didn't work out as I assumed I'd need my old ticket (even though it wasn't really valid anymore, as it was still part of the case), only I didn't need it after all. After walking there & back I drove and parked near the Aut Bar. I had to go through the metal detecter at the court house, and I had to take off a bunch of jewelry and then my boots too. I was wearing an older pair which are a bitch to get on again, so it took me forever to actually get to the place I needed to go, but when I did there wasn't a line, and my horrible ticket case was officially closed.

I walked back to my car, but then headed over the Farmer's Market. I wanted an apple, but decided I'd visit Jeremy & Kim first at Encore. They were both at the front of the salon, which was conveniant, and it was a nice visit. Jeremy had to go cut hair, and I was going to leave, but one of his coworker's had brought her little boy to work, and he started playing with me and asking me questions, and I didn't really need to be anywhere else, so I just played along. I told him about growing up on a farm, and all the animals; and my favorite pet, the raccoons. He was very impressed. He was adorable, not annoying at all; 4 years old, named Dominique. I took a walk up to the toy store to get some things for a friend that I'd been eyeing for awhile, and saw that they had a raccoon puppet, which I bought for the kid, which he really liked, and everyone else just...beamed at me. It was just this impulsive thing, but it felt good. ;-0)

Kim, Dominique & I were going down to the market; I'd been vocal about my desire for an apple, and Jeremy decided he could join us as well. When we got to the actual market though he told me to wait for him and ran back inside. When he returned he told me that he had forgotten his money and he wanted to buy me an apple. Awwww. We toured the little market area, and Jeremy learned about some plants he has in his yard, and others that he wants to have in his yard. He told me interesting things from his recent vacation, that were both surprising and vague, but we weren't in the best forum for a graphic discussion. lol

I told Jeremy about my mother. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but Tuesday I had this weird feeling that I needed to call my mom. I did but she wasn't home. I asked my younger sister Jamie how mom was and she said that she seemed fime, and I left it at that. Mom called me when she got home from work, and asked me how much I had heard, which confused me, since I hadn't heard anything really. She told me that she was told by a doctor that she might be going blind!?! I told her that was horrible, but she said that she didn't really trust the doctor that told her this and that she was getting a 2nd opinion on Friday. We didn't get to talk more because I had to go...

So I told Jeremy about that, and he asked some questions, and I mentioned that she was probably at work right then, and that she worked in Ann Arbor, and where she worked, and Jeremy told me that his brother and a cousin of his had both worked there too! His very Christian brother's name is Josh. My little sister dated an annoying Christian boy named Josh who worked there as well!?! We were all freaked that my little sister might have dated his little brother!?! lol How weird/cool would that be? lol I talked to my Grandmother about it though and she seems to think that the boy's name was Josh Hill. Even if it's not the same boy, it's still pretty weird to me. And it's possible that mother knew Jeremy's relatives. Wacky.

Grandma also gave me some info about my Dad. I need to track him down, because he want's us to hang out for his birthday (which is also his daughter's birthday - August 23). I called Doug (my step-father) as well, and we had a funny little chat. I miss him.

Jeremy bought me an apple from inside the Kerry Town Shops, and also bought some cheese, cherries and raspberries. We ate in the salon, and talked. It sounds corny, but it's always fun to hang out with Jeremy. I was parked at a parking meter, and I put way too much money in that thing today! lol Jeremy couldn't find his keys so I drove him to his car (which he did have keys to), and then we went to WRAP so could get some work done there. It was still fun hanging out, and having random moments of smiles, and conversations, and flirtations, but he was really busy, and I was really tired, so he gave me a hug goodbye, and then gave me some good kisses. ;-0) I went home and went to sleep.

My alarm woke me to pick up Mark. I finished a cd for Magan, and dropped that off on the way, so I wouldn't miss her. I picked up Mark, and we went to Lowes, as Mark needed some stuff for my new computer, and I didn't want to have to go there tomorrow. Tony Flint, my old boss from Meijer (10 years ago now), was there! He's been working there for 2 years, and sees Mark all the time, and always tells him to tell me hello, and he never has!!! I was so happy to see him. We exchanged phone #s, and even though I was very tired, I asked him if he wanted to hang out tonight, but he has to work early tomorrow and couldn't do it. He's about 10 years older than me (he's 42), which he would never tell us back in the day. He has a person he sleeps with, and he lives in Ann Arbor, and seems happy with his job - and we might hang out sometime tomorrow, which would be great.

I'm also, hopefully spending some time with Jeremy tomorrow, who took the day off for his birthday, only to have people insist he do a bunch of stuff that day (as nobody really knows it's his birthday, and he doesn't want to tell them). He's not handling the aging process very well, which is something that I've never had a problem with, so I can't really relate. Like, I'm excited that I'm going to be 32, which seems weird to a lot of people I've told.

I have to drive Mark to & from work tomorrow. I have to see Jeremy at sometime. And maybe see Tony tomorrow as well; he works until 3pm. Oh, and our old friend Yvette Tower will be starting as a cashiere back at Meijer tomorrow after 7pm, and I thought it would be great if we went and saw her, but he doesn't go to that Meijer ever; they let him go where there were a bunch of job cuts a few years ago, and I think it still bothers him. That's all I know about tomorrow.

After we left Lowe's we stopped at Meijer for nothing, and then Aut Bar, so Mark could briefly meet Magan & Gerry, then home. I went right to sleep, and slept until around 10:50pm. Then I had a snack and wrote this. I need to take a shower and get something more substantial to eat.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:37 PM
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   Thursday, July 27, 2006

After the last entry, I took Jeremy's present(s) down to Mark so he could wrap them; I can't wrap things...not if I want them to look good. On the way out of my room one of the gifts got caught in the doorway and sliced my belly open :-0( It's just a scratch, but it hurts.

I took a shower.

Ok, from here, until the last 3 paragraphs or so, this post is about Jeremy, and me figuring stuff out - or just getting it out there, so for anybody not interested in that - feel free to stop now, and skip to the end, or just wait for the next entry. ;-0)

I was thinking about the day, and Jeremy. I miss dating Jeremy, back before meeting Seth; before the lie was known, and before... Just before. Our time together is fun; it really is, and I enjoy it, but it's different. Everything changes of course. But there are walls between us now; at least there seem to be. Those walls are there for a reason; to protect us, and keep us from falling into each other when we're not ready - but I'm starting to feel like I did when I first met Jeremy. Back then I could look at him but not touch him. Now there is TOUCHING going on, but there are parts of him that I can't reach, and I'm not supposed to, and it's distracting and annoying. Perhaps I'll get used to this, and it won't be a big deal. But I liked it when he referred to me as his boyfriend, and told people we were dating - even if that isn't what we planned on. I liked seeing him get so excited to see me and spend time with me - and it's not like he doesn't seem happy to spend time with me now - but there was this whole GLOW factor which seems slightly less bright of late. We're friends now because I broke up with him, and then said I wanted to be friends. I'm not whining exactly, I'm just trying sort out what I'm feeling, because it's very confusing. It's complicated; like all relationships I suppose. But I feel very close to him, and I care about him. But I've never felt this way for anyone who had a "boyfriend". It's true that their relationship mirrors my relationship with Mark (maybe this is Karma at work?), and part of my feeling of closeness with Jeremy even stems from that, but they still refer to each other as boyfriends, while Mark & I made that separation when it first became apparent that we couldn't be that to each other. And yet, Jeremy being close with Danny doesn't bother me either, just because I know what it's like to date someone for a very long time, and then still live with them, and still be close to them, and still have all the same problems, even while slipping up now and again and trying to make it work. I know all of that stuff intimately! So, I get it. The ways we're alike have always enthralled me, I think - but sometimes they're a bit overwhelming too.

And I miss him reading my blog. He used to struggle to keep up to date on it, and now I don't think he does. I didn't expect him to before actually; it wasn't ever something that I required, but when he'd tell me that he was actually investing time in reading it; it made me smile, and feel really great.

Hmmmm.

Jeremy is a great guy. He's a really busy guy, who does a lot of great work, helping a great many people. I'm very idle by comparison. I'm very introspective, and I spend a lot of my time sort of dealing with all kinds of issues that plague me, while he helps others and avoids a lot of his problems thusly. He's trying though, which pleases me; I want him to be good. I want him to be able to look at himself; really look at himself, and know himself, and love himself. That's what I want most for him.

Jeremy is hot. Something about his body, and him just being him, really turns me on. Our sex is really great. I think a lot of that has to do with how open we've been with each other; it's challenging to be that open, and there are definite rewards, which we've reaped at every opportunity. There are also all these parts of our lives which are so alike, that a lot of people just don't get - but we both do, because we're virtually the same in those areas that others scoff at. It's very comforting to know that someone else has experienced these things and survived - and I can share that with him. It's very compelling. I think it adds an intensity to all of our more intimate moments.

He's not ready for, and may never be ready for, a commited monogamous relationship. That's been a problem with most of the men that I've dated. But he's struggled to be as honest as possible about this. He did lie about it once. And he did keep other things from me, but the latter was because I wasn't as clear as I meant to be about what I wanted and needed to know. That may sound like an excuse, but it's not; I just get what he means; like always, it seems.

Now, I like the idea of being monogamous; that's something that I've always strived for, and I've never been comfortable having an open relationship, and when I'm dating someone I don't feel very comfortable seeking out other partners, and why that is, I don't know. I cheated once, and I hated it. Of course there's a lie involved in cheating, and guilt. I told my partner the truth as soon as I saw them though, because I knew that I'd made a horrible mistake in not talking about my problems - when that's what I should have done in the first place, but I didn't even realize the problems were there. It was a revelation, and a painful one, for both of us. Would it have made a difference if I'd been open about it? I don't know. And there was a time, much later, when I finally knew exactly who I wanted to be with - that I encouraged that person to explore other partners because I wanted him to be as sure about me as I was about him - but he refused - and said that he already knew. The only thing I required from him, to make that exploration work for me, was his honesty, and his openess where his partners were concerned. Maybe that's what I need now.

Not being mongamous scares me a little. Sexually. I know that Jeremy plays things pretty safe. But we don't have protected oral sex. And where I felt completley safe with him in that arena before; I'm not sure I do now. So that's an issue. It's one thing to accept that risk when you & your partner are dating and you're not seeing anyone else. It's another thing to go down on someone who's had sex with random people the week before, the day before, or the day of...

I'm also worried about him blacking out. What if he had unprotected anal sex with someone in that time? What if he did any number of things? And this isn't just selfish; I don't want him to be hurt! It scares me to think of the trouble he could get into. I care about him, and I don't want anything bad to happen to him.

I love seeing him smile.

And I love our conversations, when we get to have them. Those are usually in my room; when we can talk about anything. That's a huge turn on. For instance, I know that I could talk to him about anything that I've written so far, in this blog, and many things that I haven't. We're just really cool like that. He's seen me when I've felt very vulnerable and during each of those encounters he's been thoughtful, and kind, and respectful. And I very much want to do the same for him, and I think I have in some instances, and I'd like to continue being that for him.

I guess I get the birthay thing. He'll turn 29 before I finish this post. 29 means in a year he'll be 30, which seems like a huge milestone in someone's life. I thought it would be for me, because I never expected to live that long, and then it just...wasn't. I realized, for myself, that all of the things that other people seem to want to have by that time in their lives just doesn't hold the same sway for me. I feel a little bad that I haven't gone to school more, but that's really the only thing. I feel like I'm not really racing other people, or that if I was, I'd already have won, because my course has been so full; emotionally. My memory has kept me very in tune with my past, and how I've dealt with that...and that's been my journey. While most people seem to forget parts of their lives, and just move on; I've explored those paths, and will continue to do so - I'll go where ever I'm called. And that's all I require of myself.

I feel really good having written this out, but I wish Jeremy was here so I could share it with him, and hold him, and kiss him, and...well, you get the idea. I know it would rock beyond the telling of it, after something like this. ;-0)

"I want to feel you from the inside."

Ok. I need to get dressed; go to the grocery store; and get gas in the car. I'm really glad I have this blog, because I feel great now.

Ooh. Mark & I are trying to plan a trip to Mackinack in late August. I know that the two of us would be going, plus Mollie does tend to join us, and I want her there. I don't know if the rest of our friends are up for the trip or not? I know that Karen wants to go. Do Carrie & Adam want to go? I don't know.

We also want to take a trip to Chicago with everybody. I want to take a day and go to Greenfield Village, and Jeremy would like to go too, which sounds like a lot of fun to me. I also want to go to Cedar Point sometime; I miss roller coasters! And we need to play some damned Lazer Tag!

Ok. I'm off.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:43 AM
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After the last entry, I tried to trim my beard into a new style, which turned out to suck a lot. Long story short, I shaved the whole damned thing off by the time I was done, and you know what? I love my face. I love my face when it's devoid of fur. I did like having a beard, and I'm sure I'll enjoy it again soon; but I always feel so much better when I shave it off! This is how Bald Jason is supposed to look! ;-0)

I went to Meijer for stuff. I went to Kroger for food. I filled the gas tank, which was, not surprisingly, a depressing activity. When I got home, Mark helped me out with some stuff, and we talked about the bowl shattering events the other day, and worked that out; love that part. When we saw Tony Flint at the store he said that one day after we've grown old together, Mark & I will get back together. I don't think that's true. I think we'll always be close; very close, and we may live together, but I doubt we'll ever be a couple again. We tried that, and it didn't work.

I worked on stuff, and now have to wait for Mark to get up so I can drive him to work. Then I have to run an errand, and then go to bed for awhile. And hopefully Jeremy can come over later, and maybe I'll see Tony Flint & Yvette Tower? ;-0) But sleep. Sleep would be good. I've got a really bad headache right now...also my back hurts; what's up with that? I should get to it.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:51 AM
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   Friday, July 28, 2006

After the last entry...

I drove Mark to work; I went to Party America to pick up a gift box and some cards. I needed another card though, and I wanted some gay imagery on it, so I went to Common Language, and waited in the parking lot for a half hour for them to open. Got the card really fast, and shot home, where I filled out all the cards, and situated all the gifts. Just as I was about to call Jeremy, he called me. He was on his way to lunch with the Chief of Police for WRAP business. He said he was tired and his stomach was bothering him; things I could easily relate to. He asked me what I was up to today, and I told him that I had just finished setting up his "gift", and that I was going to bed, but that I'd leave the door unlocked, and he could join me at any time. He liked that idea; saying that just crawling into bed with me, and sleeping for awhile together would be great.

I went to bed, with the air turned down low, but they were working on the lawn or something, so I used some of my earplugs. Next thing I knew there was a naked Jeremy crawling into bed with me! lol It felt more like it was my birthday than his. But I couldn't go back to sleep right away because I had some acidy issues. I told him so and we talked. I took out my earplugs before I spoke to him, and he told me that my alarm had been going off when he got there and he thought that I must just really be a heavy sleeper. lol I didn't want to keep him awake, but he said he came there to see me, not sleep. We talked about a lot of stuff, most of it very casual. It was nice; like a dream, what with the surreal lighting, and waking up with him there - and us both being naked and cuddly without being all sexual. It was almost perfect.

I gave him a card, which he liked...then I brought out the presents. I thought he'd be pissed, and he was a little - only not. He just doesn't like admitting he likes attention. The Barbie Dolls I got him (which Mollie helped me track down - while Mark wrapped all the gifts) were a hit; he absolutely loved them! I also got him some survival gear (condoms & lube), and a photo album, for Jason/Jeremy themed pictures, with the first few pages already filled with the pics I have of us, plus some of me that he had told me he really liked. He said he hoped this was the first of many such photo albums. Awwww.

On a side note; I have "Fade Into You" by Mazzy Star, stuck in my head. A few months ago I started tracking people down on MySpace, and I found an old chum named Steve Rink. Steve & I knew each other, and hung out a couple times, and even had a naked encounter or two, but we were never really very close. Anyways, he was recently married, to a man, and they live in Switzerland! Cool. So I read that one of the songs that they danced to was "Fade Into You" by Mazzy Star. I had heard the song before but never really paid attention to it. I downloaded it, lit a candle, and toasted my old friend while listening to the song, and then set the song aside. I try to update my myspace song fairly often, because I'm constantly listening to different things, and I thought it might be neat if my page reflected that. So I added that song the other day, and I find myself kind of moving through my life to that song, at least for now, and that song colored the day as well. ;-0)

So Jeremy, who has never seen an episode of Buffy...says to me that he thinks we should watch the musical episode, which made me smile. ;-0) But we were sidetracked by hunger, which was itself sidetracked by conversation, and the ever approaching time when I would have to pick up Mark and Jeremy would have to head home. But next time: Food, Buffy, Fun For All!

The Jeremy interlude in my day still feels like a dream, and I like that. ;-0)

I picked up Mark from work, and I was so tired. I had wanted to see Tony Flint and Yvette Tower today, but I knew if I didn't get some serious sleep soon I'd just wilt away. The rest of my computer parts had arrived. Mark & I took those out to the car, and then went to McDonald's where the cute, soft spoken, eyeliner, nail polish wearing boy served us our food. We actually went through the drive-thru because the line inside was long, then we ate in the car. Then home Home HOME. Brought the computer parts inside, and then went right to sleep.

I would say that I went to sleep around 7:30pm. I woke up at 11pm, and used the bathroom, and went back to sleep. I woke up around 1:10am. It was really cold in the condo, but I didn't want that to change, so I put on my sweats and went downstairs. Mark was working on my new computer! He had told me that morning that he probably wouldn't work on it, as he hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. I told him thank you, but that I was worried he'd make himself sick, not sleeping like this. He's still working on it, but it seems to be working.

I was hungry. I had some soup, and bread, and I ate my McDonald Land cookies. And I had an apple before that. Now I'm good. I answered some myspace e-mail. Linda Riker left me a comment that just said "Hi Love" which put the song "Goodbye Love" from RENT in my head, and now "Fade Into You" and the RENT song are duking it out in my head. We'll see which one wins; maybe they'll get along really well and just share my brain.

If Jeremy is reading this (or anyone else for that matter) my myspace page can be seen here. My gay.com profile can be viewed here.

Oh, and I also used a Amazon Gift Certificate I'd been saving to pre-order the Widescreen Special Edition of "V For Vendetta", which comes out on Tuesday. If Jeremy hasn't seen that, it would be a great movie to watch! It's so cool! ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:33 AM
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Since the last entry...

I watched the 2nd Season Finale of Enterprise, which makes me want to watch more of it. I've seen it all, of course, as this blog has attested...but I miss it. We'll see if I can find the time. I've been having a persistant migrain over the last few days; probably because of the random changes in weather. My meds are doing their job right now, but I know the headache is still there. ugh.

I drove Mark to work. He didn't get much sleep last night. I should probably take a nap before work, but I'm not sure I can sleep.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:31 AM
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   Saturday, July 29, 2006

I didn't sleep before work. I just relaxed, ate, and got ready to go. I was on time. I had considered going early and taking Jeremy's birthday flowers to him, which I had bought for him, but then put in their vase, which kind of precluded him taking them with him. I thought I could drop them off at his work, which is really close to where I live; that way they could be enjoyed, and when they died, he could just keep the vase. But I didn't really have time, so I didn't. I'll probably do it tomorrow morning sometime.

At work, with Bryan and DJ, it was mostly slow; not dead, but not busy. This guy came in that I've had problems with in the past. He's about 6'4"; about 300 pounds; and he's an asshole, and probably mental... I think he's kind of retarded. I've never liked him. He rents on this old man's account, so he can get his discount. This old man, who must be his father or grandfather, is on oxygen, with one foot in the grave, and this guy, who depends on him for stuff, treats the old man like shit. I think the guy must threaten the old man, or the old man is even meaner than him. Typically, the asshole guy comes in, looks for stuff that he wants, while sneering a lot, and then has the old guy come in to pay - as DJ once put a note on the guy's account that he has to be there in order fot the asshole guy to rent on his account. So, this one time, as he was leaving he called me a fag. I told Bryan and DJ what had happened and that I didn't want him in the store, because, firstly, he's a dick, and 2ndly, I'm not allowed to saying anything rude to him, which kind of ties my hands and pisses me off even more. I've only seen him one other time since then, before today, and he was in & out before I could do anything about it. Today he came in, and called me a faggot. DJ was right next to me and asked him what he said, and as he was walking out the front door (in the same cowardly way he did it the first time) he said it again, only louder. DJ dropped everything and chased after him! Bryan followed suit. DJ chased him into the entry alcove of the Credit Union, next door, and asked him to repeat himself to his face - and the asshole guy, who towers over DJ and is HUGE got right up in DJ's face and asked him "Do you have a problem with that?". Which was when DJ's anger was turning to healthy fear... But then Bryan was there to back him up, and even though the guy could probably kill them both, DJ told him that he didn't want him in his store anymore. They came back, without the asshole; the got the licence plate # of the old guy's car, and reported them to the police, and asked that they be barred, but what has to be done, is that when the asshole is in the store again, we need to call 911 and have the police read him this statement which bars him from the store, and then he can be called in on trespassing. That sucks. But I can't tell you how good it made me feel to see Bryan & DJ go ripping after him! I thanked them, and they said I didn't need to, but I told them that I'm well aware that there are gay people that work at a job where what happened might actually have been turned on them, and that I wanted them to know that I appreciate them. It would have been very different if I hadn't been at work. Asshole Guy would have called me a fag, and I would have said "Yeah, and? I am a fag, and I'm hot, while you're a grotesqely fat, disturbingly ugly, retarded fuck, with zero chance of getting any pussy whatsoever. I think I've got the far better deal, ASSHOLE." or many a varient thereof.

After that things were quiet. Bill, Andrea, Joe, and Matt eventually joined us, and Bryan left, and Nate stopped by. I watched the start of "Gay Sex In The 70's" on my break. After my break, this woman who had rented season 3 of Buffy came in with her husband, and confessed that she had watched season 4, without Angel, and that she wanted to go right to season five of Buffy and skip Angel - which I talked her out of, because she's basically just skipped 22 episodes of Buffy! It was so much fun convincing them to watch it, and they rented the first 3 discs of Angel! Then my lesbian gal pal Jennifer came in, as did Linda (this other woman, who's a big favorite at work) and someone asked Linda if she was ok, and she said that she was fine, except that I had obviously fallen in love with another woman! And I said that NO ONE had EVER accused me of that before, which we all laughed about. lol (Only I was, once accused of that by Jennifer Clemente!). I walked this Jennifer outside, as I was leaving too, and I recommended V for Vendetta to her, and told her about the anti-bush, gay/lesbian content, and she got really excited about that. I love it when a new movie is released that I can actually feel good about encouraging people to see. It's not like I encourage them to see the bad ones, but we haven't had anything to encourage in so fucking long! lol

It took awhile for Mark to get out of work, and I was so beat. When we got home, I went right to bed. I woke up several times before I actually got out of bed. I had considered, at one point, going to Aut Bar, and Necto, but I feel a little out of it, and I just think that's a bad idea tonight.

Mark & I have to go to comcast tomorrow sometime before noon to get this thing to fix our internet connection, which had been deadly slow this past week. My new computer is all put together, but Mark has to put it through some tests, and get everything perfect before we set it all up. I'm trying to not be excited, and not be freaky happy about it until I actually have it, and all my stuff has been transferred to it, and it's all good. We'll see how that plays out this weekend.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:42 AM
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