Wednesday, February 7, 2007

If I have an opinion, that is different than Mark's, and I express that opinion, then he says I'm being mean; that I'm just a mean person. And he says that I don't even believe what I'm saying; I'm just trying to be cruel...which I think is mean of him to say. I mean, how could I ever have an opinion that differs from him? Ugh. He says the next time I tell him something, that requires his sympathy, he's not going to give it. But surprise, he seldom does that anyway. In fact it's so rare an occurance, that I'm already shocked at every instance.

This all started, as Mark was telling me, once again, that he was playing poker, and he 'should have won' only he didn't because someone 'who shouldn't have played the way they did, because it's stupid' did play, and beat him. This is the same story he tells me every time. He did very well in this tournament, coming in 8th out of (I want to say) 40some players? Or maybe it was 400? It was a lot, anyways, and I told him he did good (I never doubt his skill at the game), but then he just kept going on about how stupid these people are that beat him. I said that maybe it wasn't stupid, and that bluffing and GAMBLING are part of the game - and he didn't like that. That was mean of me. Whatever.

I just watched Pirates of the Caribbean 2, as I was missing Mollie overly much today; she loves those movies. I hated the first one, both times that I saw it. I think I laughed once, and the only redeeming quality of the film was Johnny Depp; which is a sad, sad thing. I enjoyed the 2nd one quite a bit more. The ending had been ruined for me, by a customer who I'd pleaded with, not to tell me...but what can you do? I think the 2nd one was directed better, and the tone was a bit darker. If the 3rd one is more like the 2nd than the first, that would be nice.

I'm usually asleep by 9pm, or lately I am, but I'm having trouble sleeping tonight. I'd like to turn the heat down a bit, but Mark will think I'm trying to freeze him. I'm so tired.

Jennifer called me on Monday, but I missed her call by about 8 minutes; I called her back, and she asked if she could call me back in a little while, as she was on the other line with Elvis. I said sure, and fell asleep with my phone next to my head on the mattress. She called me back, nearly 24 hours later, while I was in a meeting at work. I called her as soon as the meeting was out, to let her know I was at work, and I would call her back as soon as I could. I called her when I got home, but there was no answer. Oh well.

I got a lot of fan/het/slash art yesterday. Tons. It was fun. I need to finish putting all that stuff in order, so I can file it all away, but it's a constant struggle.

A week or two ago, I let Bryan borrow all my DCAU dvds. He's been watching them in basic chronological order at home, but he's been hooked into later epsiodes at work, which is fine. I'm excited that he's excited about it. I'm looking forward to talking to him about all the crossovers and connections and stuff.

I know I should be asleep, but I'm not and it bothers me. I have to drive Mark to work in the morning, so I can have the car, so I can get to work. That means I have to be up early, and that I can't just sleep the morning away before work. It also means that I can't come home right after work, but I have to pick up Mark, which often times, takes a lot longer than you'd think. I'm not looking forward to this.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:27 AM
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Oops. I don't have to drive Mark to work in the mornings anymore; I guess I misheard him. That's cool, and yet it sucks, because I'm extra tired now, but can't really sleep, because I have to work at 1, and need to eat and get ready... blah. I'm trying to not be upset about this though, and just kind of go with the flow...but I'm so freaking tired!

I got a bunch of pictures in order this morning, which makes me feel good. I haven't gotten any reading done over the last few days, which is annoying. Maybe after I eat I could read a chapter of something? We'll see. Maybe I can read a little after work, before falling into oblivion.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:51 AM
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   Saturday, February 10, 2007

I want to get some more piercings. I used to have my ears & eyebrows pierced. The eyebrow piercings hurt like hell, and one of them was constantly getting infected; they looked cool though. I still have my lebret and right nipple pierced. For a long time I didn't think I'd ever get another piercing...the last one I got was back in 2000 I think, or possibly 2001. It's on my mind a lot lately, but while I have some ideas about what I would like, I'd like to be sure, and have some kind of plan for them, as I'd like something a bit more elaborate than anything I've done in the past, but classy.

If I had hair, I'd change it all the time. I used to. I don't miss having hair really, but I like changing my appearance as much as anyone else, and it's harder to do without having the option of hair style/color.

I need some new clothes too. Pants especially. It sounds like I just broke up with someone doesn't it? Isn't that when most people have the urge to change themselves like this? Only I haven't, and really, this has just been on my mind of a long while now, and I'm just making a note of that.

I'd like to do something about my teeth. I can see that they are yellowing more in the last few years, which is odd, as I've been brushing more than ever...but I think part of it is from my acid reflux. I mean, it's gross, but it's like every time I sleep, I'm having a 3 course meal or something, only in reverse. Yuck. Sometimes I don't know how I keep on going, or how I've managed to get used to this. It's sad that I'm used to it, I think.

I don't hate the outside of my body though. I don't know why so many people go through life hating the way they look; it just seems kind of pointless. And in the end, I don't think that what you look like has as much to do with being attractive as people would have you think. Obviously it factors into it, but the majority of people could get passed the little things just by being outgoing, and having confidence in themselves. I think that's why so many people find me attractive, when I'm not really anything special; not really. And that's kind of cool too... Either that, or they just want my dick, which is nice too. lol

I'm in a strange mood; can you tell?

I saw Jeremy on Thursday. It was nice, brief, and odd, but good. I hope I see him again soon; he stirred up a lot ideas and feelings; a lot of ghosts and memories...good ones. I talked to Steve Ball this week too; we might hang out on Wednesday. I don't ever know what to make of him/us. We're fairly odd, aren't we?

I had a date Thursday night with this guy, Ray. It was nice. I'm not looking for anything spectacular. I'm just going to have fun, and take that with me, and let all the drama pass me by. I started doing this last year, before Jeremy came crashing into me, but even then I mostly kept it together, which is something I'm really proud of.

I'm worried about Mollie. I called her this week and her mom was back in the hospital. I wish there was something I could do to help. But honestly...I don't know what to do. I talk to her as often as I can, and I think that's probably all I can do. I wish I could hug her, and spend time with her, and be with her. And I'm not the only one; I know a lot of people here really miss her. She's that kind of person you know? Life seems just a little less lively without her around. Like everthing is fine here, and yet you know something isn't right, and it's that Mollie isn't there to make a joke, or to just look at me and understand without us saying a word.

I talked to my ex-gf Jennifer this week too. She broke up with the asshole she brought to my party back in September. I was all set to give him a chance, because he seemed to be making Jennifer happy, but my initial impression proved dead on, and he was just a dick after all. I wish I'd been wrong though. Jennifer was going to spend Friday night with Elvis; I hope that went well. I like the old gang being together. ;-0) But Jennifer got another cat. I guess I won't be visiting her new place anytime soon.

Things at work are good. I'm a little worried that I might lose my job because of the piercings. My store's people don't care, and the customers don't care, but the higherups don't like it, and that could be trouble. It's so stupid. I know about movies, and I can help people there. Why does a piece of metal in my ear change that? It doesn't.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:12 PM
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