Friday, August 1, 2008
My pill was mostly worn off on Thursday; the zombie effects anyways. I had a good day. I had a great date with Patrick. A lot of fun conversation; snacks; a lot of firsts checked off the list. It was nice. Saying it was 'nice' makes it sound like it was lame, but it wasn't. It was kind of perfect. ;-0)
I should try to sleep, but I'm hungry again, so I'm gonna eat first - as my pills will then make me tired.
I'm not sure what time we're meeting for the fair tomorrow (later today). I'll have to call Janice and see.
Patrick and Ruth both want me to go to Necto tomorrow, but I'm not sure I'll be able to go. We'll see.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:34 AM
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So...I ate, and I feel fine. I played more Spyro (58% finished). I'll probably cuddle up with Harry Potter now, and try to get some sleep...with my alarm set for 10am or so.
posted by Bald Jason at 04:28 AM
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Saturday, August 2, 2008
I met Janice for the fair on Friday, and all went well. The rides were fun; spending time with my family was priceless; and the sun was hot and annoying...which is why I tend to avoid it. I was home in time to pick Mark up from work, and I took a nap after work. Patrick & Ruth had both cancelled for Necto, which was a blessing, as I just wanted to sleep, but 3 hours later I kept getting calls so I got up. Ruth had found another ride to Necto, and wanted me to make an appearance, while Patrick and Liz wanted me to join them in Plymouth. I like Ruth, but Necto on Fridays doesn't offer me much hope of fun, and Preston was likely to be there, so I went with Patrick & Liz. I had a good time with them, hanging out at a coffee shop playing "Apples to Apples" with a bunch of people I didn't know...then we went to a late night eatery, who's name escapes me. Patrick was adorable as ever, and Liz continues to enchant. It was all good. I got home around 4am I think. I read some Harry Potter, with a snack, and went to bed.
I had strange dreams.
Mark woke me up around 1pm. I read the news, then Mark & I chatted, then went to get my perscription and some groceries. I'm home now, but Mark had to go in to work to cover someone's shift...and now I'm not sure what I'll be doing.
I'll be 34 in 10 days.
posted by Bald Jason at 04:25 PM
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Sunday, August 3, 2008
Read a lot. Played Spyro briefly (60 some % finished?). Ate. Showered. Chatted with Mollie and some guys. Spoke to Patrick on the phone for a minute. Feel kind of dazed. Trying to track down a track from a mashup.
posted by Bald Jason at 01:02 AM
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I found that track. :-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 01:12 AM
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Finished Harry & the Chamber of Secrets for the 3rd time. It was first published July 2, 1998 in the UK; June 2, 1999 in the US.
posted by Bald Jason at 04:10 AM
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Monday, August 4, 2008
Mark & I went to the mall yesterday to shop for shirts for me, only I was then reminded why I hate shopping. I can never find anything that I like, or if I do, they don't have it in my size. It's just depressing. I did however pick up a new necklace, and Mark gave me some bracelets that I didn't have yet. Accessories can jazz up old sets right? RIGHT? Well, they can help. ;-0)
I stayed up very late this morning chatting online. I tried to sleep, but couldn't. I played more Spyro. I couldn't concentrate on any of my books. I chatted some more...and finally crumbled into oblivion. Though I think Mark knocked on my door this morning...and I may have heard the doorbell ring. hmmm.
I slept as long as I could. Stumbled out of bed around 4pm. Since that time, I've done 2 loads of laundry; scrubbed the bathroom sink and toilet; done the dishes; emptied the assorted trash cans; sorted and prepared all the recyclable plastics, cans & bottles (including the vast assortment in Mark's room); and sorted a bunch of Mark's laundry, which I'll start later, but hopefully Mark will finish. He has so much going on that he forgets to do the little things and they pile up, and probably stress him out more than he knows, so I thought I'd give him a little head start. Oh! And I printed up some art that will fit perfectly in a couple spots in my room, which is no easy feat these days. ;-0)
I'm most likely going to Necto tonight.
posted by Bald Jason at 04:57 PM
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I put away some of the dishes; they weren't all dry. I watered our lawn, as the sprinklers have been down for awhile - I've been trying to keep ours somewhat green. I also vacumed my room, and made my bed. Cleaning. Cleaning. Cleaning.
posted by Bald Jason at 06:20 PM
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Tuesday, August 5, 2008
I made cinnimon(?) rolls, which I ended up burning, but Mark iced them and I ate the non-burnt scraps. I played Spyro. I went to Necto around midnight. I got to see Ruth, Brandon, Patrick, Scott... I met John & Gabe; I saw Jenny for the 2nd time; I met her first at The Bean in Plymoth Friday night. Jim, from Aut Bar was there, who is really cute, and nice, but supposedly a big ho. Preston was there, but he kept his distance. I was pretty tipsy, and had a good time. Oh; Monica was there too. Patrick seems to like me, but wants to sort things out with J & M, which is really thoughtful and sweet. In spite of all that I gave him a really great kiss on the dancefloor, for which he called me a 'a bitch and a half', while struggling to keep my hands off his hardon. :-0) It made me smile. Sadly, Brandon needed a ride home, and so they had to leave early. I left like 5 minutes after they did, as it was getting to be that time of the night when the DJ's interrupt every song to get people screaming, which is fine some nights, but just annoying most of the time.
Anyways... I'm home. Been home awhile, but I'm a bit out of it.
Patrick is sweet.
posted by Bald Jason at 03:08 AM
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Awake. Bored Now.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:59 PM
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So I've been getting these e-mails from Friendster, which I just kind of ignored because I do have an old Friendster account, and I thought that these messages were kind of spamish and would die quickly enough on their own...but they didn't. Then I noticed that the e-mail addy that they were being sent to was one that I own, but would never EVER use (don't ask why or how that is - if you know me well, then you probably understand). So...I went to Friendster, and put in the e-mail addy, and said I'd forgotten my password, so they sent me the password ("Patrick"), and I found myself in this 17 year old's account, from the Philippines who's been using this e-mail addy and getting me all this spam. I was going to contact Friendster about it, but that seemed like such a hassel, so I just changed the password and e-mail addy, then closed the account. Hopefully next time he tries his own e-mail addy, or something that I don't own. Prick.
posted by Bald Jason at 05:53 PM
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Wednesday, August 6, 2008
I ate and slept. Ate & slept. Weird dreams. Took some pictures of the new red shirt Mark got me last week.
Went to Aut Bar. Chatted with Redcloud while I was there.
Redcloud and I - May 2006.He just went through Hell, where the guy he was engaged to, ended up being a liar, who was living with this guy for 2 years, the whole time that he & Redcloud were dating! Men suck.
Came home. Uploaded some new & old pix to my website here & here.
Now I'm listening to this mashup (Tricky vs. Bjork vs. PJ Harvey vs. Rammstein vs. Portis Head vs. Kosheen) over and over, while I try to figure out what to do until sleep overtakes me.
I work today at 1, after 25 days off.
posted by Bald Jason at 04:38 AM
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Ok.
So I just had a fantastic wank. Which probably wasn't on the highly recommended list, as I was beginning to get a migrain, and these things can make them worse, or kind of pointless, but it actually turned out extremely well. Then I took my midrin, which I'm ever grateful for, and took a long hot, invigorating shower. I love to shower, but lately they've not being doing much for me. Neither has masturbation now that I think about it...And I think part of that is that I have a lot on my mind.
So why not clear the air.
I broke up with my last boyfriend, Michael, about 5 or 6 months ago. He was, and is, an amazing man, who I want to remain friends with. It just wasn't going to work out with us as a couple, which sucked, because he's way cool! And he's an amazing lover. So amazing that I've been having sex with him fairly regularly ever since we broke up, which has never been a problem for us. Except I suspect that now it might be, or is about to be, or something to that effect.
See...I've realized recently, that though we're both single, and enjoying the sex isn't a bad thing (and we both agree our sex is fantastic)... Well... If Michael were to start dating someone it would hurt me. And that's bad. That's very bad. That means I'm emotionally attached to something that should just be friendly, casual, amazingly intense sex - with someone I can trust and depend on...
But it's more complicated than that. When isn't it? So, Michael just moved in with this guy Chris, who is also super cool, but who is (to my point of view) in love with Michael. Now we all know how each of us feels, but I somehow always end up feeling guilty for hanging on to Michael, when there's this sweet guy there, who perhaps has deeper feelings for Mikey than I do (though I do love Michael; I'm just not in love with Michael) - even though Michael doesn't return this guy's feelings. It's brought up all kinds of odd feelings and questions. Because someday someone will fall for Michael, and Michael will fall back, and then what happens to me? I know we'll most likely always remain friends, but if we're still fucking like bunnies and then I'm cut off that's gonna suck. Or...if we don't stop, and it prevents Michael from falling madly in love with the guy he more than deserves, that will suck too, even if it provides us both with lots of orgasms...
And there's more...
I've been kind of seeing, this guy Jordan for several months. Kind of, because it's like once or twice a month, rather than once or twice a week. Also, when we first started hanging out, and having sex, he told me that he wasn't the boyfriend type, or something to that effect, which I came to accept, and I made my peace with that, and just enjoyed his company...figuring as long as I was open with everyone, and nobody was getting hurt, than we were all ok. But then something changed. Last time I saw Jordan, which was last week, he told me again that if I wanted to be with anyone else not to let him stop me, and he would never be jealous, accept...he admitted that it would bother him. That, to me, means that a line has been crossed, and things are beginning to change. But what does that mean exactly? I mean...I told myself that this guy wasn't really a boyfriend type guy, and I've been fine with that ever since...but what if that's not the case? Am I involved without ever having realized it. I'm not in love with the guy. I've never lied to him, and I don't intend to, but his confession has thrown me for a loop...and I'm not sure I understand where that leaves me or us.
Then there is Patrick. I met Patrick at Necto a little over a week ago. He's funny, and cute, and all kinds of things that make him the kind of boy I'd date if I were single. And until the previous week I was officially single. Only I wasn't really is my feeling now. Is that ok? Is that really where things stand? Should I change things? Should I stay where I am?
I think I should talk to Michael about how I'm feeling. Of the 3 guys, he's the one I know best, and my best friend of the bunch. I want to clear up some of the confusion that's lurking in my brain (and fear, because I am very afraid), and get his feedback. I want to tell him how much I've enjoyed our time together as lovers (and that's not bullshit, because I really, REALLY have) - and not just on a physical level; I really think it's healed a lot of wounds that I didn't even know that I had, and our evolving relationship has taken me down several paths which I'd never dared follow before, inspiring me now, and most likely for the rest of my life. I love him. Writing this out makes things in this area seem at least that simple.
The thing with Jordan...is less clear. He's always been hard for me to read. I thought he hated me at first, but I was later convinced that was wrong. lol Of course I don't see him often enough to know him as well as I should after all this time, and that's at least part of the problem - he still feels a bit random to me. But I know he's sweet, and gentle, and we have something, though I'm not sure what it is. I need to sort that out. There's nothing bad there; it's all good; but is it enough? When we were just fooling around, playing together for friendly fun, it was. But is there enough there to sustain something more? I'm not sure that there is, but I've been wrong many times before, and know that I shouldn't jump to conclusions here. This guy is really cool. He's thoughtful, and generous, and he's never done anything to hurt me...which sadly, separates him from most of the men that I've dated. I need to think about this, and talk to him, and probably think about this some more.
And Patrick...he knows I'm trying to sort all this out, because I told him so. And he's being very understanding about it, even when I'm being "a bitch and a half". And I'm grateful. I'm grateful for all of them actually. None of these men are my enemies, and I'd like to keep it that way.
Now I'm going to take my eating pill, have some cookies, and sleep. I have to work today.
I feel better now.
posted by Bald Jason at 06:00 AM
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1 other thing. I once again find myself aching to read the Dune series; and so I shall.
posted by Bald Jason at 06:35 AM
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Thursday, August 7, 2008
I had a horrible, horrible day at work yesterday. It turns out, that the reason that I've not been scheduled in 25 days, and the reason I have no money to keep the bicycle that I loved, and have no money to throw my now-annual birthday party, is because my boss didn't want to upset me, by confronting me with the news that people had complained that though they love me, they don't want to work with me, because I call off all the time!?! Now, the complaints don't bother me, because they're understandable (as were my reasons for calling in, which a whole slew of doctors can back me up on) - what bothers me, is that instead of dealing with this issue by talking to me, which would have been all it required as I've now been properly diagnosed, and have medication to deal with my issues...he chose to just let me go, for a month. And that has raised all kinds of questions, as to what people knew when they talked to me...but I've spoken to several of them by now, and it seems obvious that none of them knew why I hadn't been scheduled - they just assumed that DJ had talked to me, and that I quit, or was let go. And that raises other uncomfortable questions... Would DJ have ever scheduled me again? He didn't schedule me this week; I had to go in, and talk to someone, who then offered to give me some shifts, and this was not DJ's decision. I tried asking him this, and he avoided the question. Also, if I wasn't given my miracle drug that tires me out while keeping most of my food down, would I have been fired? I simply don't know, but the idea of being fired from a job that I've almost always loved, and then finding a cure for my ills...well, sickens me. The whole day was a headache of overwhelming what-ifs that filled my brain non-stop. I cried a lot. I wanted to quit. I felt, almost like I'd been lied to for a month. I made my peace with Bryan, who told me his side, and how he'd backed me up with DJ...but DJ always avoids confrontations, but I'm his friend, and his coworker of 6 years - if he can't talk to me about important stuff... The whole thing just boggles my mind.
So that was work, which sucked. It was nice to see people again, but then it was also terrible. I didn't quit. I told DJ how I was feeling, and why, and I cried, and he cried, and hugged me and told me he loves me, and everyone loves me, and that it wasn't personal...and most of that feeling weird is gone...I just don't understand why I was off doing nothing for a month, while the money I was counting on to supply me with a happy birthday party, and to support my decision of a bicycle went away without a 2nd thought. It pisses me off.
I haven't spoken to Michael yet. I'm actually looking forward to it. I really miss him. I feel like I haven't really spoken to him in AGES. I haven't talked to Jordan so I don't know what's going on there, though he texted me about wanting to hang out, so that's just a matter of time, but that part still confuses the hell out of me. I asked Patrick if he wanted to see "The Dark Knight" with me, but he's already seen it twice, and he told me that he talks all during movies, which annoys me. Also...he seemed slightly cold on the phone, though he did warm up a bit later. I think he's mad at me...or maybe realized that I'm not worth bothering with, which would be fine actually. Except that I think he's cute, and fun and... blah blah blah. I'm such a girl sometimes.
I'm enjoying the Dune book. And before Mollie comments about how much DUNE sucks, the book I'm reading takes place thousands of years before the original Dune, and the books are better than the movies...though the David Lynch one still has some amazingly iconic moments...that still hold me in their sway, though the film itself has seen better days - which is still better than that fracking bad school play version that Sci Fi made. I liked Children of Dune though. :-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 05:08 AM
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Friday, August 8, 2008
Thursday I slept. It was great. lol. Then...I took 30 or 40 pictures of myself. lol. Then I read more Dune, which was great. I chatted with some friends. And when Mark got home we went to the comic store where I got new issues of Buffy, Spike, New Frontier &...that's it. Buffy had a cool cliffhanger that I didn't expect - and I thought I knew what was coming, for sure. Then we went to Chris & Bryans to help them with some Computer Who. This entry is making me smile. While there...for what seemed like 10 hours (in a good way), I visited, and then talked to Michael, then Mollie on the phone. It was all good. Then I talked to Michael again; it was nice. My stomach started to not feel good as we were leaving, so we skipped the grocery store, which is all I really wanted to do...was get groceries.
I slept. I felt better. I read. I got groceries. I confirmed to Mark that I wanted to go on vacation with him, and then I ate. It was great.
I'm sorry. I just watched scenes from stupid comedy movies and they've killed most of my brain cells, so this entry is retarded.
posted by Bald Jason at 06:33 AM
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Woke up late; argued with Mark; hustled myself to work. Expected the day to suck, but it didn't turn out that bad. Great to be working with everyone again. I did pretty good in sales. Talked about Doctor Who with Mike and Pat. I worked over. Mark picked me up and we got some more groceries; mostly for Mark. Home.
Oh. I guessed my birthday present from Mark, which is a funny story that I can't tell at the moment, as I long to be away from the computer.
posted by Bald Jason at 07:51 PM
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Sunday, August 10, 2008
Another weekend gone. I'm eating. I have to leave for work soon. I'm thinking of leaving Hollywood. Not sure if it will go anywhere...but it's the first time I've really considered it.
posted by Bald Jason at 06:24 PM
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Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Happy Birthday to me.
Off to Necto I go.
posted by Bald Jason at 12:07 AM
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Wednesday, August 13, 2008
So I didn't have the annual Bald Jason Birthday Bash. I had an ordinary day. But you know what? It was a pretty fucking aswesome ordinary day!!!
A big THANK YOU to everyone who contributed to my special ordinary day!
I went to Necto last night, where I got birthday wishes from several peeps in the know. I had fun. I danced. I drank. I laughed. And I got to make out with a boy that I've wanted (and has apparently wanted me) for years. Nice.
Later I met up with Charlie and his friend Elaina at Denny's before going back to their place where we all got wonderfully blazingly stoned! It was fantastic. Very intense, but just hours of laughter, and flirting, and talking. And so layed back. It was so much fun! Such a blast. The effects lasted until just before I needed to drive home to get the car to Mark. I used some cash that a friend sent me from FAR AWAY to on snacks (and then later for some video games) - which isn't the most responsible use of cash, but for an ordinary type birthday treat, it was just right.
I told Mark about my fun. I left messages for Mollie & Jordan. I slept. Extremely well. Wonderful dreams. Woke up feeling very rested around 5pm. I got up, and got dressed. I talked to Mollie. I answered some Happy Birthday messages from friends and co-workers. It was all very relaxed, and very not-over-the-top - but it was nice.
Jordan never got back to me, which sucked. Beyond that everything seemed to go well, and even that probably isn't that big of a deal. He had a flight out of MI tonight, and probably just needed some extra sleep or something.
When Mark got home, we went to Pizza House where we met Michael and Chris, who we'd invited. We had good food and good conversation. The food wasn't sensational, but we made the best of it. Michael and Chris gave me a card from them and other friends, who chipped in to get me a $100.00 gift card from Amazon :-0) VERY COOL. This means I can order some of the dvds I had to cancel on account of my crappy work situation. ;-0)
After we left Pizza House, we went to Pinball Pete's on a whim, which reminded Mark & I of a previous birthday in which Kevin & I played D.D.R. together. It was a nice happy memory, and it was all good.
Later we all made it back to the condo and played 'Apples to Apples' which Mark had given me for my birthday. It was a lot of fun, but I was tired from my pills. I managed to stay awake though...which was made somewhat easier by Michael being there, which kept me horny. lol
Michael and I probably would have hooked up tonight, but he & Chris had travelled together, and I so wouldn't have been awake to drive him home later... We might hook up later. We've talked about the sex thing, and I think we're in a good place about that now. I still need to talk to Jordan though.
Anyways...I'm tired...and my phone is blinking at me. I must have gotten a message while I was typing this all out. Hope it's good news. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 02:32 AM
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I slept for as brief as it's possible to sleep and still have an intense dream. I dreamt of Jeremy Merklinger. It's probably not that surprising, as in a discussion the other day, I admitted that he was the last man that I was in love with, which was 2 years ago now. Anyways, in the dream, he was in my room, and he put a cd into my computer. I was in bed, watching this happen...and he listened to something I mixed...and there were tears in his eyes. He turned to me and said thank you, smiled and then left. And that was it. It made me think about finishing a cd I was mixing for him back then, with a new perspective. We'll see. I haven't mixed anything on that scale in years.
I'm so fricking tired, but can't seem to get back to sleep. At least I don't work today.
posted by Bald Jason at 08:16 AM
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I didn't get to sleep until after 11am. I woke up around 6:30pm. I had good dreams, though they seemed to get a bit dark towards the end there. Mark got home soon after I woke up, and brought in the mail, which included my birthday card from my grandmother. I was so happy to see that card. Usually I get it just before or on my birthday, and I meant to mention in my birthday entry that I didn't get that card and that it worried me - but apparently I was worrying about nothing. There's a little note inside saying she's sorry for being late...but some people don't even send a card. I hope she's doing well. My grandmother is awesome! :-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 07:31 PM
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Thursday, August 14, 2008
I just finished reading "Fray", "Tales of the Slayers", and then reread the last 2 issues of Buffy. It's good to have Fray in my life; maybe they could make that into a movie :-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 02:15 AM
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I'm rereading / rewatching Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban, and I'm once again struck by how much better the film is than the 2 before it, while the book it's based on is superior to the film version in almost every way! There are a few improvements from book to film, including the way Harry finds out about Black's relationship with his parents (which just makes more sense, and is followed by the stand out acting moment in the film), and the way that Sirius speaks to & hold Remus as he's changing into his werewolf form (which speaks volumes about their love and close friendship - which the movie does little or nothing to support), but it's like the film makers were so in love with the time travel angle that they made this the heart of the film (lots of camera tricks centered around a large clock, and an overbloated, severely altared ending highlighting the time turner), instead of the relationships between Harry and the Marauders, which is clearly at the center of the book. It doesn't help that Wormtail's transformation into human form and then back into rat make absolutely no sense, even within the context of the film. Thankfully, the two films that have since been released in this series fixed almost all of the mistakes of this entry, while also improving as films in their own rights - better films and better adaptations. While I recommend the Potter books and films to friends, for those that had planned on skipping the books, I highly recommend reading chapters 17-22 of this book (after seeing the film), as the information given is so important, and so different than the film as to be essential.
posted by Bald Jason at 07:01 AM
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I can't sleep. It's just as well I suppose, as I've got to drive Mark to work in about an hour. I've got my work clothes in the dryer, and I'm just trying to get everything ready for work later so I won't have to think about it later when I'm exhausted and just want to sleep. I can't wait until I get home from work so I can pass out. Blah. lol
I saw a trailer of the 3rd Season of Heroes. I want to watch it. Perhaps I'll rewatch Season 1 and finish Season 2, before the season begins after all? I don't know. It depends on if we get Season 2 in to rent at work. I think we probably will.
posted by Bald Jason at 07:46 AM
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I got Mark up for work early, just so he could be on time, as he's usually late. I was hoping to get him there, and get back so I could get some sleep before work. I felt like I was getting a headache, but I was hoping it was a minor one and took some motrin. We were on the expressway when we ran into a traffic jam. There was an overturned semi plus cops and firemen. It took a long while to get where we were going, and then I had to take the long way home, even though it was probably a lot shorter time wise than any other way, as the normal roads that aren't the expressway are under construction. And now my head is killing me. Ugh. So far today isn't all that great. I'm counting on getting major sleep tonight - which is my light at the end of a very dismal tunnel.
posted by Bald Jason at 09:53 AM
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Woke up for work, after an hour of sleep - I'd shaved before hand; laid out my clothes and bag and stuff. I'd driven Mark to work so I could have the car. Got a call from Bryan asking if I wanted to take the day off, or at the very least come in later. My food was in the oven, so I couldn't just go back to sleep...but my pill will make me tired... I told Bryan all the prep I'd made, but that I was exhausted...and that I wanted to work with Pat, who comes in at 4pm, and that I'd have to go out that way to pick up Mark anyways, so I'm going in at 4:30 to work for an hour, which will let me sleep a bit more, and work, and see Pat and everybody. My food was good. Going back to bed now. ;-0)
And though I'm not holding my breath, it looks like Mollie might actually enjoy an Underworld movie, as this new one is centered squarly on the shoulders of her favorite character from the first film, which she despised.
posted by Bald Jason at 12:45 PM
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The one movie I was excited to see this year, is no longer coming out this year. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince has been moved from it's November 21st release date (2008), to July 12, 2009. You can read all the reasons for that here, and while they all make sense, it doesn't change the fact that the movie I wanted to see in 3 months, is now the movie I want to see...in 11 months. Ugh. :-0(
posted by Bald Jason at 10:17 PM
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Saturday, August 16, 2008
Work on Friday was fun, though I was tired. I didn't have to pick up Mark after work as he was playing Poker, and he said he'd try to get a ride home. I went home and went to bed. Woke up with my computer blaring an mp3, as Mark needed a ride, and my ringer was off - he hacked into my computer and woke me up. I was having a nightmare, and I hadn't slept very long so I was really grouchy and confused. It took me awhile to get ready and pick him up. We had to get gas on the way home. We played some Soul Calibur IV when we got home. I was so tired but found it nearly impossible to sleep. Eventually I fell asleep on my bed, with my clothes on.
I woke up at about 7:30am - from a dream in which my older sister gave birth to an alien baby, which I cared for. I worked on some projects for some friends, which took me far longer than I expected. Then I was able to sleep, far better.
Everything from this point on kind of sucks.
I woke up around 7:30, checked to see when Staples closed, and tried to get Mark to go with me, as he's supposed to have this account on which there should be $60.00 in credits for ink we returned, only he told me at the last second that he wasn't going, which pissed me off beyond the telling of it.
I ended up going by myself. I bought all the tape they had, plus all the ink that I needed. Then I went to Kroger where I got a disturbing amount of cinnimon rolls as I've fallen in love with them.
When I got home, Mark explained that he cancelled one of our credit cards, and had ordered new ones from the company. I tried to activate mine, and they wouldn't let me. Mark tried to do it, only they asked him all these memory questions, which Mark can't answer, so he asked to cancel the card instead - only they couldn't because the department that does that was closed. Ugh.
I'm going to clean the condo now. I've been bagging the trash up for like a month, and figured it was Mark's turn, so I've waited, and waited. Only he hasn't done it. There's so much trash piled up in and around the trash can that you can't even see it anymore. Well...I've reached my limit and now I get to deal with all the shit that I just assumed I wouldn't have to. It will make me feel better once it's done though. I've been doing most of the dishes too...which are piling up. And the laundry...which is piling up. It was maybe better when I didn't do these things and they weren't expected of me.
And I need to clip my fingernails. I look like one those scary 'lesbians' from girl on girl porn with the fingernails that are like 20 feet long, yet can still finger themselves without looking like they've just had an abortion...which always just frightened me. lol
I'm not in a good mood. I want to work on my room. Want to have as much of it done as I can get done with what I have now, which probably isn't much really - but still. We'll see if I can get to it. Michael was going to come over tonight, but now I'm not sure I can see people I'm so grouchy. Blah.
posted by Bald Jason at 09:25 PM
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I did the trash; the dishes; scrubbed the kitchen counters; sorted the recycle bins; tidyed my room; and now I'm waiting for the dishes to be done so I can have a meal. I'm feeling rather odd. I haven't really had anything but candy in over 24 hours. Food will be good. ;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 11:06 PM
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Sunday, August 17, 2008
posted by Bald Jason at 07:26 AM
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Monday, August 18, 2008
Work went well last night. I worked with Alex & Pat. I rented stuff. Michael & Chris visited me, and we sort of set up some Jason/Michael time, but then I lost my phone on the way home and couldn't call him. I played Soul Calibur 4 with Mark then we both went to bed. I woke up early and updated my webpgae, myspace & facebook. Now I'm gonna eat. Possibly sleep. Maybe work on my room, and try to find my keys, which have been missing since Friday.
posted by Bald Jason at 12:17 PM
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I tried watching the Scorpion King prequel, but I just can't do it. I did however find my keys. And I ate. Now I'm kind of exhausted; probably from my pills. Some of my birthday gifts from Amazon should be here today; I'm surprised they aren't here already. Oh well. I'm sleepy.
posted by Bald Jason at 01:33 PM
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Tuesday, August 19, 2008
My amazon stuff arrived yesterday. I burned some discs for Chris. Then slept. I woke up with a stiff neck and a migrain, which never went away, despite hordes of drugs, and some wonderful friends who massaged my head and neck at the bar (thank you Michael and Liz!). The bar was the bar, only with the pain it was less fun that usual, though it was nice to see everyone...even Patrick who's acting really strange around me.
The after-the-bar was painful as well. I chatted on gay.com for awhile, as the new loads of painkiller tried to mute the pain. I slept. Woke up with still more pain. I thought about doing a new section of my wall with Doctor Who and Legion of Superhero art... Got Mark up for work, and decided now is the time to finally read all the Angel comics I have. I read the first 5 issues, and then wrote this. I took some prilosec. I'll take more pain killer later. What the fuck did I do to my neck!?!
posted by Bald Jason at 10:49 AM
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Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I finished reading all the Angel comics yesterday afternoon. It made me want to rewatch Angel the series. I've never watched it separate from Buffy before; I'm not sure that I can. I've been meaning to send copies of the series to Mollie & Kenny, as Mollie hasn't seen it in years, and Kenny never has. Perhaps I'll start that up soon.
My neck has moments of no pain, but this is most likely from my drugs, mixed with hot & cold compresses. Hopefully that works itself out soon.
I finished the collage section on the outside of my bedroom door. Anytime I finish a section I feel rather accomplished. Now I get to concentrate on just the inside of my room. What to do next though? I was thinking of doing the spot behind my desk, but I'm not sure now. I'll probably work on that later.
Now...I'm gonna relax a bit, then shower and eat. Maybe chat. Then get back to it.
posted by Bald Jason at 02:06 AM
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The drugs continue to ease my pain. I put up 17 more pictures, finishing off another section of wall, while adding to others. I wish I had more time and energy to work on this motherfucker. Still...it continues to rock. ;-0)
I have to work today. My work clothes are about to be put in the dryer. Mark is picking me up on his lunch. I couldn't drive him this morning because of the painkillers I had taken.
I captured a fat red spider this morning, but it escaped when I tried to kill it. Oh well. Red spiders creep me out. I'm used to the pale white ones that I see all around our property. Ever since we named that one (Where did Herman go?) that haven't bothered me as much. Though I do wish they would stay outside.
I have so many ideas for different projects...and then I lose them. lol. I'm so odd sometimes.
I read a few chapters of Harry Potter 4 last night. I read "The Quidditch World Cup" & "The Dark Mark". I love that book.
I'm missing people today. I miss my family. I miss Michael. I miss Jordan. I'm even missing Preston (and when I say that, I mean sober Preston). I miss Jennifer. I'm constantly missing Mollie. I just wish I could see everybody all at once. :-)) Maybe this is emotional fallout from not having a birthday party this year.
posted by Bald Jason at 11:06 AM
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I have the day off. They needed to cut labor (DJ got chewed out about the other day, apparently), and Mark has the car, which means if he came to switch with me on lunch, I'd have to drive him to work, then back home, then back to my work (which is between our home and his work) - and I'd have spent more CA$H on gas than I make on a full day, let alone one that's been cut short. It sucks, because I'm not making any money, seeing my friends and coworkers, but in this case I'm actually saving money by not going to work.
This, sadly doesn't mean I'll be getting much more done on my room, as I only have one more roll of tape left. If I'd known this was going to happen, I'd have gone to the store last night and stocked up...but what can you do?
What this does mean is I can continue my hot/cold compresses, which I think are really helping me at this point. I haven't taken any drugs in about 5 hours, and I seem to be doing better. I'm visiting with my sister, our father, and my sister's children tomorrow, so hopefully it will be cleared up by then. Mark is going to the Sprint store after work to get my dad a phone. I should get something for Janice too. Their birthdays are on Saturday; Janice will be 38; I'm not sure how old my dad will be; he's in his 50's.
posted by Bald Jason at 12:18 PM
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20 pictures total. I'm so nearly out of tape now; I could probably get at least one more picture up, but all the pictures I want to post are kind of useless without putting a 2nd one up. I guess I'm done then.
I texted Jordan. He's in Florida, where they're having crazy dangerous weather. He has no clue when he'll be back in Michigan...but he says he misses me too.
I'm listening to "More Than This" by Shane Mack on repeat. Been listening to it all day. It's from the "Shelter" Soundtrack; a movie from my shelf that I watched with Jordan. He knew the words to the songs in the movie...they must have meant something to him. I tend to get soundtracks to the movies I enjoy...and I often notice music in movies even when most people don't. This is the only song I have from the movie, but it was the only song I remembered from the movie. It was a nice date.
I think I might take a nap now that I don't have any more room stuff to accomplish. I read more of Harry Potter (a couple more chapters), but stopped as I was falling asleep. I should just turn down the air and enjoy the time I have.
posted by Bald Jason at 03:36 PM
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Thursday, August 21, 2008
I'm now almost completely caught up on the current season of The Closer.
Mark called in, and will be vising with my family as well today.
The titles of the 12 episodes of the upcoming season of The Sarah Jane Adventures have been announced:
01 The Last Sontaran I
02 The Last Sontaran II
03 Day of the Clown I
04 Day of the Clown II
05 Secrets of the Stars I
06 Secrets of the Stars II
07 Mark of the Berserker I
08 Mark of the Berserker II
09 The Temptation of Sarah Jane Smith I
10 The Temptation of Sarah Jane Smith II
11 Enemy of the Bane I
12 Enemy of the Bane IISounds like fun. That season of the series completed filming this month, and is believed to begin airing sometime next month; it will definitely air before the year is out.
posted by Bald Jason at 09:49 AM
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Friday, August 22, 2008
I lost one of my cool piercings! I wore it yesterday. I'm sure it's around here somewhere. I was in a daze yesterday thanks to some pretty heavy *and private* revelations, and I don't really have any recall of taking the jewelry out, but it's obviously not there now. lol. Hopefully it will turn up later.
I have to get ready for work.Oh! And Mollie got a job!!! :-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 12:02 PM
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So...found the jewelry. It was on my bed? Also, ready for work. I'm doing the dishes. I have to go in early today so I can stop at the bank. blah.
posted by Bald Jason at 12:14 PM
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Monday, August 25, 2008
Work was fine on Friday. This guy ("Joe") got my phone #. Went to Meijer after work, then picked up Mark, and everything was about setting up the LAN party, which went fairly well. Bryan & Chris, Pat & Cara were the only guests, but that was just enough for us all to play and get our fill. Chris didn't play as she gets motion sickness, but it was great to see her and everyone else. They all seemed to like my room collage a lot too. ;-0)
Saturday I read a lot of Harry Potter 4. Mark & I took my dad the groceries that he left at the condo on Thursday, then got some groceries (and saw Michael briefly). I slept well. I watched last week's Closer episode. It was a really nice day off.
Sunday, more Harry Potter was read. I was early to work; worked with John & Brad. Lots of fun actually. I rented "Four Letter Word" which turned out to be a spin-off of "Slutty Summer", which I own. It was ok; just like the first one (I watched it today). I left work slightly early to balance out the labor. I did ok in sales, so I was in a good mood.
I slept well again. Cool.
Today I read more Harry Potter; I've less than 100 pages left; probably 3 or 4 chapters. I watched that movie. I'm thinking of possibly seeing Michael today. I can't believe it's 2pm already.
Beyond all this...I've had a LOT on my mind...that I can't really talk about in my blog. Suffice it to say that I'm very worried about one of my family members, and they're in my thoughts almost constantly.
Oh. And Mollie has a job! Congrats! And she's also found the cause of some of her troubles, which is also a wonderful thing, so I'm very happy for Mollie. :-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 02:19 PM
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I finished reading Harry Potter 4. I talked to my cousin Joy on the phone; she seems to be doing extremely well; she sounds happy and I'm happy for her. Perhaps we'll hang out sometime soon!
I rocking out to a "Barbie Girl" / "I Kissed a Girl" mashup. ;-0)
I'm about to eat and finish the Harry Potter 4 movie.
I'm in a good mood...and I'm looking forward to Necto tonight. I want to Dance. A lot. ;-0)
I'm thinking of curbing my chocolate intake. I've been eating increasingly massive amounts of the stuff ever since I found that it wouldn't make me sick. And while I feel I deserved to enjoy it after so long, I'm thinking I'm going a bit overboard with it. I'm feeling like I'm not eating enough good-for-me stuff. I'll try to work that out.
posted by Bald Jason at 04:55 PM
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Tuesday, August 26, 2008
After the last entry, I watched another dvd I'd rented, then took a nap. I then went to Necto where I had a great time, but I was really tired afterwards. In spite of that, I joined some friends for food and chat at Zack's in Canton...and didn't get home until around 4:30am, at which point I did laundry so I'd have work clothes today.
I slept a few hours...I think. It's kind of a blur. I woke up with stomach cramps. My IBS, which has been infrequent of late, thanks in part (I believe) to my stomach doing it's job these days, returned with a vengence this morning. I ache. And it's not over yet. I could probably call in without upsetting anyone, but I kind of need the cash.
Anyways...I'm exhausted. I'm back to reading the first Titan book, which I now have less than 100 pages left to read. I have 3 other Titan novels to read, a new Enterprise novel, a new Next Generation novel, and a book called Articles of the Federation, all of which I need to read before the new crossover trilogy comes out in September-December. I'm working on it.
I wish I could stop shivering.
posted by Bald Jason at 11:28 AM
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Thursday, August 28, 2008
Tuesday night and Wednesday were a huge improvement over Tuesday morning. I even got to chat with Jordan and see Michael, though the latter didn't go as planned, it was still lovely to spend time with him. I also finished the first TITAN book, and started the 2nd. I need to eat and get ready for work.
;-0)
posted by Bald Jason at 11:43 AM
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Bryan just called; they want me in at 2pm instead of 1pm. This coming just as I was putting on my aftershave and getting ready to walk out the front door. It's hard to relax when I'm all dressed for work. erg. It could be worse.
posted by Bald Jason at 12:34 PM
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Friday, August 29, 2008
"3 Billion human lives ended on August 29th, 1997. The survivors of the nuclear fire called the war Judgement Day. They lived only to face a new nightmare: the war against the machines."
Sorry. It's August 29th again, and that always makes me think of sitting in a theater in 1991, seeing T2 for the 8th time. Never Again.
Work went well yesterday. Nice to see everybody. I had my delicious pizza. After work I saw some Amish peeps, but sadly, there were no hotties for me to even dream about seducing (so I just imagined there was one there). After picking up Mark, I took a nap, and then had Mike & Chris over for an AVP LAN party. Michael had never seen any of the Alien or Predator movies so it was all new to him. He borrowed Predator when he went home, as I gave him the option of watching the movies in chronological order, which he liked best.
I stayed up for a long while, making nonsensical Doctor Who related lists (as I do); the last one I remember making was of characters and aliens brought into the new series from the old, which was surprisingly limited to like 9 entries; I thought there were more. I slept from 5am until 8:50am, at which point I got up, took my prilosec, and woke Mark up. I couldn't drive him to work as I woke up with a migrain.
I took my midrin, which is working now. I'll eat something soon, and shower; my clothes are in the dryer. I called work to let them know I didn't have a ride to work, and that if they didn't need me, I'd be fine staying home; they're going to get back to me on that. I'm sort of aching to read some Trek after reading a long debate about the merits of 1 of the books. Hopefully tonight.
I started rewatching Heroes, but I'm trying to pace myself. I so need to take a shower.
posted by Bald Jason at 11:33 AM
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I'm supposed to be at work in 3 minutes. I haven't heard from work to know if I'm being picked up, or not coming in. I'm shaved and showered, dressed, ready to go. I've eaten. My headache is more or less gone for the moment. And I'm bored.
And all I can think about is how much I want Obama to win as President. He actually talked about GLBT peeps in his speech. He really is different. And I never expected there to be anyone different... But I'm afraid to get my hopes up, and have them quashed like 4 years ago, and even more so, 4 years before that. Election days have been pretty depressing the last 8 years.
posted by Bald Jason at 01:00 PM
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Just played AVP with Mark. Bad idea. First we started off both as soldiers, just using pistols. That was pretty repetative with us both killing each other, with the least interesting characters and weapons; got boring fast. I like variety. I like switching species (which doesn't allow me to win the games usually - because when you switch species during the game you lose all your points). I like using different weapons. I like using 2 pistols at a time (which Mark forbade). So I told Mark I was bored, and that I wanted to switch up, and that if that was a problem to just let me play on my own. He ruled that he'd play as long as he could be a predator (the easiest IMO) and I was a soldier (the hardest IMO); I said sure as I thought that would be great practice, and Mark would get to kick my ass alot. Only he didn't. I got the heat seaker and blew him away a few times. You can see Predator's when they move just like in the movies, and you can see when they're scoping you out, which I thought was cool to see. He did kill me good eventually (bloody human bits all over the place). Then he got me in a net and I thought I was dead for sure, but I switched to my knife, cut my way out, and blasted his head off. He got grumpy after that, quit (without telling me) and said that I apparently only like playing when I have the advantage. What advantage I have only comes from playing the single player games all the way through, which he's had 7 years to accomplish. And he's racked up years of Multiple Player time...
(while typing this, Mark came to my room, told me I'm an asshole, and then left - which actually made me giggle a little, as it makes me feel like a have a little brother - like my room is so dark that I couldn't see him, and I actually pictured a little boy with a backwards ball cap on!)
Anyways...he also said that I only enjoy the games where I win. Which is the pot calling the kettle black; seriously. Mollie can attest that I used to get slaughtered by her on a regular basis, and I loved it. I didn't win most of the rounds last night; Michael did, and I had big fun! While it's fun to win the game, it's mostly just fun for me to be the ALIEN, or the PREDATOR, or the MARINE and just run around attacking things. It's Mark that has to win to enjoy himself, which is just kind of sad. He's yelled at me about this before in front of friends who were made uncomfortable by his childish tirades. His own mother has pointed out he's a sore loser, on several occasions.
In one bout last year, he yelled at Mollie because he said she was "Camping" (sticking to one area and waiting for people to pass by so she could kill them) when she wasn't, she just got stuck and was getting unstuck when he wandered by. This is another point of contention, as he's been known to camp himself, and the thing is, you are allowed to camp in the game. It's not necessarily a good strategy either, because if no one walks by then you don't score and can't win the game. And even if you do, and you stay in that spot, there are weapons that can be used to blow you out of there.
He bitched at me during the same game that I had an advantage as the ALIEN, then I became the Predator, which he also bitched about, so I became a soldier and then he bitched about that too. Corey & Mollie were here and they just looked at me like they felt bad for me. It sucked, because besides this really wacko-child-Mark that comes out during competition, he's really very cool. He's beautiful. Sexy. Funny. He's got this dry sense of humor that can be outragious! He's the best friend man of my dreams... And then we play a game, which should be fun, only he makes it this hellish life or death bullshit, and then blames me for it. And it's never, ever pretty. It's actually pathetic.
He actually yelled at my boss once when we were playing the Buffy board game years ago. It made my boss so uncomfortable that he didn't want to play with Mark anymore; not because he doesn't like Mark (because he does, and asks after him all the time) but because Mark ruined the game. My boss actually thought that Mark hated him after that, but Mark doesn't hate him (that I know of); he just gets bent out of shape during 'games'. He yelled at me once years ago when I made a bad call during Euchre, which to me had always been a fun, unimportant kind of game to be played with friends; I mean...it's just a game...and I was in love with him back then. I was so upset (tears and everything) I considered taking a taxi home. Mark's sister in law (who was just his brothers gf back then) gave me this huge hug at the time and told me it would be ok...and I've loved her ever since.
Anyways. I don't want to write about this anymore. I'm pretty sure there are other entries about this very topic... It just never ceases to amaze me is all. We all have our flaws though. And I love my Mark, riddled as he is.
I'm planning on playing the single player version of the game tonight. I also want to read some of this new (to me) TITAN book. And that's pretty much all I have planned. I'm such a geek! lol
posted by Bald Jason at 08:04 PM
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So, I finally watched "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog"! It was so yummy. :-0) Grrr...Arg. I want the soundtrack now. And Joss's new show can't come soon enough!!!!!!!
In the aftermath of such sadness, and still feeling the after-effects of another disagreement with Mark (which sucks, cause I enjoy Mark/Jason harmony), I feel like dancing any icky feelings out of my body, but sadly, Necto only plays crappy music on Fridays. Ugh. But maybe I'll go. I'm not completely sold on the idea is all.
I still have my Trek to read, and lovely bed right there behind in which I can pass out... hmmm. It's a toss up at the moment. Though I do think I'll take a nice relaxing shower...while concentrating on happy memories of the Mark/Jason puzzle:
posted by Bald Jason at 09:06 PM
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Saturday, August 30, 2008
So...I didn't go out last night. I made up with Mark, right off, and then took my shower. Didn't want Mark & I to part on bad terms and all that, and we actually had a very relaxing, fun evening. After my shower, Mark joined me to (again) watch "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog", which made Mark laugh a few times, and he said I was cute for downloading the songs. We cuddled while we watched it, then I read a bit, while Mark packed his stuff.
I slept.
I woke up this morning, just when I was supposed to. I got Mark up. We got ready, and hugged, and I drove him to the airport. In case I never mentioned it here before, Mark is going on vaction in Maine, as he has a friend there. I was invited to go, but we can't really afford for both of us to go. Mark offered to blow a bunch of money last night so that I could go, but the truth is...even though my stomach is better now, part of me still can't believe it, and I'm just not ready to travel yet. It honestly scares the hell out of me at this point.
So I miss Mark already, though I got to hug him goodbye at the airport, and I made it home safe & sound, listening to Dr. Horrible the whole way 'there and back again'. I felt sad. Like I'm missing some big party or something, and then I'm worried. Mark & I don't spend time apart that often, and it's weird when we don't see each other for more than day or two. Mark comes back on Tuesday. Erg.
Mark just sent me a text a bit ago saying that he would be boarding soon; then we exchanged some more happy sad lovey kind of texts. We're such an odd pair, Mark & I. Wer're not a couple. We're not boyfriends. We're not lovers. We've been all of those things though...and now we're family. Mark is my family. The family I chose to have.
Ok. Enough worrying.
Ok. So the book pictured above is the one I'm currently reading. So far I'm loving it. It's a direct continuation of the last book I read, which is pictured below...
This series of Trek books, follows Riker & Troi from Next Generation on Riker's new command. Now I've never loved Riker & Troi's never been a favorite either, but their crew of characters are so cool. I didn't enjoy the first volume as much as I hoped, because a lot of it centered around the aftermath of events in "Star Trek: Nemesis", which is a pretty lame Star Trek movie. But other than that I rather enjoyed the read. But the new book I'm reading, is also a sequel to another book I read this year...
...which I loved. So this was a really great surprise! I'm really only at the beginning of the book, but I have high hopes for this one. And...I'll stop rambling about this for now, so I can actually read. lol
posted by Bald Jason at 10:39 AM
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Mark has been safely in Maine for nearly 2 hours.
I've eaten, slept, read. Now listening to classic Catherine Wheel. Why do I love that voice so much? It makes me want to makeout. ;-0)
My attempt at eating less chocolate, has resulted in me eating even more. It's an insidious addiction. Part of me finds it kind of gross, while the other part of me cherishes each bite and is making funny faces at the me that couldn't have it. Blah.
posted by Bald Jason at 04:32 PM
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Sunday, August 31, 2008
I didn't go to the Aut Bar last night. I stayed in and read. And I slept 8 hours last night, which was really nice. I'll probably read some more today. I work tonight at 7pm.
posted by Bald Jason at 09:44 AM
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I'm well over half way through my book; 160 pages left. I'm enjoying it quite a lot. I need to eat soon. But most of the dishes are currently washing in the machine. My upperback feels like I've pinched a nerve or something, ever since waking. Hopefully that will pass. I seem to do that quite often. I need a new pillow or something that can prevent that...anything that could help would be appreciated.
posted by Bald Jason at 12:23 PM
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I have less than 80 pages left in my book, which continues to rock. I spoke to Mollie on the phone earlier, and we talked about Dr. Horrible, and some family stuff that I can't discuss here until it's been settled. It was good to hear her voice. I cleaned my room. Ate. Showered. Read. I haven't heard from Mark, though I'm pretty sure he said he'd call me today; perhaps he's forgotten that I work tonight? Speaking of which, I should finish getting ready. I close the store tonight with Bill, while Amanda is with us until 10pm.
posted by Bald Jason at 06:00 PM
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