Sunday, April 5, 2009

Ok. This entry is mostly about this new guy I'm seeing. I've mentioned him before. His name is Michael Glen Slaughter (not to be confused with recent ex-bf Michael Eisinger). He likes to be called Collin, but since I've always thought the name Michael is sexy, he lets me call him that. He's 36; he'll be 37 in June, but he looks a lot younger than that (not that he would have to; he just does). He looks amazing actually. I thought he looked cute in his pictures, but when I met him in person he was so much cuter. Mark, who had also seen his pictures, said the same thing. He's sweet, thoughtful, funny, giving, and aside from all those wonderful things...he's also quite the sex god; not only is he really good in bed, but he sports a constant hardon (I'm not even kidding) - and he's NOT small.

I've been talking online with Michael for about 2 weeks. We had planned on a date for Saturday (April 4, yesterday), but he said he wanted to see me sooner and he took me out to eat Tuesday night. I've already covered this before, but it all went really well. We got along great. We slept together, which was also great, though I had some odd emotions tied into it that I sorted out later. During this visit Michael invited me to join him and his friend Melissa for a trip to Necto on the 10th; he also wanted to see me again on Saturday, and was talking about maybe inviting me on a trip up north with him and his friends.

Now let me say that I've shared stuff with Michael that has in the past freaked out a lot of potential boyfriends (such as the contents of my webpage, my medical bs, stories about my past, etc) and he's taken everything in stride. He actually seems to find most of it cute, which I'm not used to. He's a perfect gentleman...who at times seems older than me - and then completely ageless. It's extremely refreshing, and all together unexpected.

We talked on the phone and texted Wenesday-Friday. Actually, it's a really good thing that I have my pretty new RANT phone, as I'm texting all the time lately, and he's a big part of that. Michael wanted to know if I could hang out Friday night as well as on Saturday. My ex-bf Paul & I had been trying to find a time all week to hang out but nothing was working and the last resort was Friday night. I told Michael that I'd think about it. And Friday morning I just knew. I wanted to see Michael. I called and told him this, which made him very happy. I also rearranged my plans with Paul which was no big deal.

Friday I slept. When I woke I called Michael and he came over; he dressed up for me, and it was so great to see him again. We went to Little Caesars for the Crazy Bread I'm so in love with lately (I paid for our bread; he bought me a soda - I'm so not used to dates paying for anything), and that was all good fun, with the eating and the chatting, and the Little Caesars people there. It was nice.

Then I showed him the Hollywood Video that I worked at, before we went to Necto. We got a really great parking space out front, then I got us in for free; introduced Michael to Keevan, who watched our coats for us, then introduced Michael to everyone that I could, while showing him off (he's so hot). We got drinks (from Becky - who I didn't think to introduce him to). I introduced him to Doug (who's got an interesting look going on right now), who drank one of my 3 cream bombs. I introduced him to Leon & Scott. I was sad that Calvin from HARC wasn't there. We danced, which was nice. We left fairly early for Aut Bar.

Calvin from HARC was at Aut Bar. So was Tracy (a guy I went out with a few times back in 2006) - and his former roomie Shane. Gino was there. Redcloud was there but I didn't get to talk to him before he left. We met T, Josh, Otto, Butler...and assorted other peeps. It was all good. Then we went back to my place.

We cuddled. And showered. And screwed. And cuddled. Talking all the while. Michael told me that his friend Melissa wanted him to invite me to see Stomp; I told him I'd think about it. Michael went to sleep and I worked on some Trek stuff, which I'll discuss after all the Michael stuff. Michael was so cute while he was sleeping. He eventually woke up while I was reading the news, and he pulled me into bed. I was so content, holding Michael in my arms. He said this made him happy too. We were snuggled up so nicely.

Later, when Michael was more awake, we fooled around some more. I hadn't cum the night the first time around, but he made sure I did the 2nd time, which a lot of guys wouldn't have done - and it touched me that he wanted me too. It was nice. Michael had to leave though, which sucked. He left, I took a shower and talked to Mark about random stuff before I went back to trading messaged on the Trek forums - and texts with Michael. He asked me to call him when I woke up.

I slept really well. I woke up in the evening. I called Michael. He was hanging out with his friends Melissa, Mark & Dan. He let me go so he wouldn't be rude. As soon as I was off the phone with him I missed him terribly. I went to text him that, and he'd already texted me telling me he missed me and that his friends wished that he'd brought me. I was about to text him asking for directions, if that was ok, when he asked if I wanted them to come get him and I said sure. I got ready (changing my clothes several times) and let Mark know I was going.

Michael & his friend Dan arrived to pick me up. I was nervous about meeting Michael's friends. Sometimes when meeting friends of a boyfriend or lover there's drama or a clash of somekind and there was none of that going on which was a relief. When we made to Dan & Mark's house I was welcomed in, and made to feel at home. Melissa was so cute, and Dan & Mark make such a fun couple. We drank and talked. We played Wii Bowling, which was fun even though I came in last each game (I improved on my score every game though). We played euchre. Michael and I lost the first two games but beat Dan & Mark the final one (Melissa likes to watch). We were listening to a great mix the whole time, and at one point U2 came on, and I said "I LOVE U2", which made everyone look at me funny, as they thought I was saying to Michael "I love You Too" - Michael looked like he was going to have a heart attack. I quickly explained what I meant and that was funny. Later during euchre I made a great play and Michael said he loved me, then I did something else and he said he loved me even more. I pointed this out and he blushed and said that wasn't what he meant.

Melissa is adorable. She's in love with this ex-gf of hers, and the ex is involved with someone else, and Melissa is helping her through this, even though she wants the girl for herself. She's a good friend and I so respect her for that. Plus she's funny, and cute, and she gives good hugs. She told me tonight about how the Stomp thing wasn't happening now as the tickets were outragious. There was talk of musicals, which Mark hates (as does my Mark).

Dan & Mark are cute together and you can see they really love each other; they've been together for years. They have 2 dogs and are dog-sitting 2 others - all of which are cute. Winston was my favorite. Dan is 32 and I think Mark is 38? I can't remember. But I pointed out while we were there that we all look really young. And I felt young hanging out with them.

We left Dan & Mark's house around 4am I think, though I could be wrong. It was after 3am. We stopped at a gas station so I could get some snacks as I'd not eaten since Michael was asleep at my place, at least 14 hours before. Then we went to Michael & Melissa's house. They have cats, so they were careful not to keep me there too long, but I got to see Michael's room, which is adorned with weapons (he likes weapons but not guns; he has weapons from Xena, Batman, X-Men and more). He's also got a lot of dvds, especially tv shows, many of which we have in common. He's a really big Xena fan, which is cool.

Aside from Melissa, Michael also lives with 2 other guys. One's name I never remember unless it's mentioned. The other is Scott, who's 38 and an ex-bf of Michael's. One of them reads (or is reading a) Velgarth book. It's actually cool that Michael lives with an ex, as this means he understands me living with Mark. It's also cool (if sad) that his living situation with Scott is kind of shitty (it sounds) as it makes my living with Mark even more understandable, and nice by comparison. Selfish of me, I know. I don't mean it to be though. I didn't meet the other 2 roomies though as they're both out of town. Scott is apparently in Toledo with a guy he met on line named Antonio?

Michael and Melissa then drove me home. I loved hanging out with them, but it's nice to have some alone time to collect my thoughts. Though, part of me wishes I was back in Michael's bed at his place, holding him the way I did in my bed last night.

As I was writing this there was a lengthy exchange of texts. The short version is that Michael and I really like each other; our feelings are intense. And we both acknowledge this. It might just be infatuation, and only time will tell if these feelings are real, but we're talking about them, and it's really great. No matter what happens, I've told him I'm grateful for the time we've shared together, because he's really made me happy.

Michael likes it when I scratch his back. And when I hold his hand in public, or when I kiss him. I think his friends liked me, but I can't be sure. They seemed to like me though. Mark gets along with him fine so far. So far everything is going fine.

Michael told me tonight that while we aren't a couple or boyfriends, that he kind of feels like we are and he's not interested in anyone else and that he can't stop thinking about me. It's sad that I've been hurt so much, by so many men, that I can't easily trust his intentions or his words. It's very sad. But they're nice to hear, and I'm taking the simple joy of hearing those words, and spending time with him, and I'm taking all that to heart. Because I'll have the memory of that even if everything else falls apart. I don't want it to fall apart, but experience tells me that it's likely. Even if part of me dreams that it won't. This is nice.

Oh. The Star Trek thing. I'm working on this section of my webpage devoted to LGBT inclusive Trek in the series, novels, comics, games - everything I can think of. Well in the Trek Forum I've been going to I opened a thread asking for help, and I got a lot of really cool responses and messages about it, which I've been checking up on over the weekend. That's been another really cool thing.

And Robotech continues to amuse.

And I'm hearing exciting things about the Christmas Who Specials! I want them now!

I miss Michael.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:54 AM
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   Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I just woke up from hours of dreaming the most amazing, silly, fun dreams...so pardon if there a tons of errors in this post. lol There were so many different stories told in those wondrous dreams. I remember buying my father a new suit, and hanging out with Janice and the kids. Taking pictures with my camera phone at a supermarket on this endless road down which dragons were traveling. Kara Thrace's untold history of capturing Robot Kong in a Destroy All Monsters type deal; she was a amazing - and then her and some other in a coed bath - which was graphic but not sexual at all. The murder of a child (we found the foot) then went back in time to see what happened. A journey through fields in Milan that I've longed to explore, and a magical adventure in the backyard of what was once my Great-Grandfather's house. I think I slept for about 10 hours or...actually more. I think I went to bed around 3 or 4, and I woke up around 2am - that's amazing to me - I feel so rested though. I find myself longing to see 'Princess Mononoke' & 'Spirited Away'- both of which I don't own. I do have that one with the voice of Christian Bale, who's name escapes me at the moment - oh, "Howl's Castle".

There was however a time when I woke up, with the worst stomach cramps, which I've not had in at least a few weeks. The pain was so horrible... I worked it all out though - and that was a 45 minute ordeal. Earlier, before sleeping my stomach was also not doing well. I waw throwing up again, which hasn't been happening much at all anymore. There have been maybe 3 times in the last 2 months I'd wager. So while things have improved a great deal, the last 24 hours have felt like the old days when I was sick all the time. It was not a fun walk down memory lane.

Ok. Now let's fill in the blanks of what's happened since my last entry, which was written in the early morning hours of Sunday, April 5. I can't really remember much about Sunday. There were texts with Michael, and he told me he'd call me after he got out of work around 1am on Monday morning. I slept.

Mark started working third shift that night, and I told him I'd drive him so I could go to Little Caesars on my way home (he needed to be at work at 10pm, LC closes at 11pm on Sunday) - but Mark suggested we stop on the way there so he could get some too. It was raining and the news on all fronts was that it would turn into snow. When we stopped at LC there was no fresh bread so while we waited, we talked and chilled - it was nice. And we watched as the rain became sleet, which became snow. I couldn't eat the bread in the car as it was so hot. We went to Mark's work and ate the bread there. I met some of Mark's coworkers, and then left durring a blizzard.

I had originally planned to stop at Meijer / Kroger for groceries, but the weather was so bad that I put that off, figuring I cold go in the morning with Mark. Instead I drove through the falling snow listening to a recently mixed cd, thinking about Michael and all that's been going on with us. I got through 5 songs on my way home:

01 The Blower's Daughter
- Damien Rice

"I can't take my mind off of you..."

02 There. There. (The Boney King of Nowhere)
- Radiohead

"Just because you feel it, doesn't mean it's there."

03 This Twilight Garden
- The Cure

04 The Rake's Song
- The Decemberists

&

05 Don't Take Your Love For Me
- VAST

That last song I've loved since it was first released but now is tied into imagery from Smallville, as it was used in the 8th Season episode "Bride" to remarkable effect.

I quickly realized on my trek home that the snow didn't bother me. I'd heard people bitching about this coming storm for days and I expected to be bothered by it too, but instead I found it quite beautiful. Perhaps since I've stayed so isolated and avoided the weather on purpose, this storm felt new. A lovely side effect.

More texts with Michael. Another conversation with him, while he closed down his store, which is in Allen Park. His coworker and friend (Patches - who's daughter made Michael a friendship bracelet that hangs from his rearview mirror) said hello, and later locked her keys in her car. Michael and I talked for hours, with him eventually making it home to a drunk Melissa...and his comfy bed. We talked about how sad it was that he wouldn't be able to make it to my AVP LAN party, which was set to begin between 7 & 8. The plan for Michael was to come over after work at around 2 or 3 am. Michael told me again that he loves me. I told him that I believe he cares for me, and that he's had a lot of terrible partners and I just seem really cool by comparison...and that I have some intense feelings for him too, but it's way too early to know if they're love. I've been infatuated; I've had very intense crushes which were gone within a month or two - and they felt just like this, so having had those experiences I understand why it's best to take your time in these matters. Michael eventually had to go to sleep and I let him go.

I found it very difficult to sleep. I stayed up not doing much of anything. I slept for about 20 minutes. I picked Mark up in the morning. It had stopped snowing but there were massive amounts of the stuff. Again, I thought it was pretty, rather than annoying. We brought home a monitor for the AVP party, and we stopped at Kroger where I got some groceries. Mark went to sleep almost as soon as we got home, and again I found it impossible to sleep. I tried. I lay down in the dark, but I just couldn't quite get to sleep. This can often be the symptom of a larger problem...meaning that things are going to get worse for me soon, as I get very cranky when I don't sleep, and this causes more troubles which can then multiply. I figured this wasn't that big of a deal though, as I could party with my friends later and sleep between them leaving and Michael's arrival; I thought I might even leave the front door unlocked for him and he could just come upstairs and join me. When I was in bed trying to sleep, I noticed I had a text from Michael saying something about a surprise and that I should call him; I didn't want to call him right then as I was afraid that would wake me up even more and I'd never get to sleep - I decided I'd call him during the game, or possibly before my guests arrived if I had the time.

I did get to sleep around 4pm. I set my phone alarm for 6pm. I woke up at 7pm to the sound of the vacume cleaner. I felt recharged, if confused. I checked my phone and it said I'd missed my alarm. Apparently it doesn't play if you have the volume turned down which I think is a stupid feature, as I need it turned down so that texts and phone calls won't wake me up! I jumped in the shower. I got out, quickly cleaned my room up. Mark had cleaned the livingroom, which I was planning to do had the alarm thing not fucked up; it made me smile that he was doing this, when he didn't have to. Mark came upstairs just as I was finishing with my room and was just about to get dressed - then Bryan arrived. I peeked around the door, told him I was naked then bounded up the stairs to put on a shirt and some underwear.

I came back downstairs and got a big hug from Bryan. He returned BSG 4.0 + he gave me a book about LGBT history he'd found, and also let me borrow his copy of Repo. Nice. Then DJ & Jamie arrived with food and we all chatted about stuff. Then, just as we were setting up the game there was another knock on the door. It was Michael. This was unexpected, and kind of threw all my plans into disarray, as Michael couldn't actually join the game (Mark's room was unprepared for a 5th player, as we didn't know we were going to have one), and even though I was feeling recharged, I was definitely looking forward to going back to bed as soon as my friends were gone. It was an extremely awkward moment, that continued to be awkward for at least 20 minutes after his arrival, and actually colored the events of the entire night. His unannounced arrival felt wrong, and no matter how much I was looking forward to seeing him later, his sudden arrival stressed me out more than I would have expected - possibly because of my sleep deprived state. I was also extremely hungry, and I find it hard to eat at home in front of many people, even close friends, let alone people I've known less than a week - which meant that not only was I about to not spend the time with my other friends the way I had planned; I was also not going to get to sleep or eat the way I had planned either. I tried to express this to Michael, but he (unsurprisingly) didn't get it. I'm odd. And that anyone understands me at all is amazing to me. I did know, as soon as he'd arrived that this was the surprise that he'd texted about, but the idea that he would follow through on this surprise without actually getting in touch with me, when we hardly know each other, seemed like a gross oversight. When I was able to express this to him later, he told me that I could have just sent him home, which I wouldn't have felt comfortable doing to anyone who'd just driven through the wintery storms to join me - no matter how inconveniant it was for me - I just would hate myself for such an action. Anyways...the damage was done.

Mark left for work during our game time. Michael played AVP a bit in my room, and I played too. I think everyone had fun. I was snacking nervously, and I felt like I couldn't really enjoy anything that was happening around me. Like my senses were completely overwhelmed. I felt like I was have an odd sort of dream, where everyone else was normal, but I felt there was something terribly wrong. It was fun at some moments and disturbing at others. It was like a bad drug trip, I suppose. I guess the important thing is that it seemed that everyone else was having fun. Michael was bothered by his error in judgment and my reaction, which I felt bad about, but I think I managed to get him to have some fun with the game and stuff...but I found the entire ordeal exhausting rather than the party experience that I usually have. It all felt spoiled. It was just...terrible. I know Michael will probably read this and feel bad, but this is the first I've been able to express the sensations I was feeling. And after waking a few hours ago from my 10 hours of sleep feeling completely rested, my first thought was how happy I was that all that madness was behind me.

Michael and I talked. We chilled. Things started feeling better. It wasn't as nightmarish now. We had some really great sex. I think sexually we fit together very well, and we like each other, which is good. It's all good, actually, except it feels like we've skipped massive steps...or like Michael has, and I just haven't been able to keep up. Take for instance him spending the night. The first night it happened I knew I was going to be awake and wouldn't have to try to sleep with him there - something I have a hard time doing with strangers - and that worked out really well. But on this night, I was exhausted and wanting to sleep (hopefully before he arrived), and feeling uncomfortable trying to sleep with him there, and not understanding why - because my mind was so confused. Here I was with this great guy, who's super hot and sexy and funny and all these other great things, and he tells me he loves me and is sending out all these kinds of signals that in my experience don't happen until certain bridges have been crossed - and so in my mind I feel almost like we have crossed those bridges, but the rest of me still felt I was caught in some kind of odd dream - where nothing felt exactly right. It wasn't horrible, but there was this sinister quality of something being wrong just below the surface that I couldn't quite pin down. There were moments that I loved. There were intervals of surprising normalcy, tenderness, and humor. But the sum total didn't add up. I'm not sure I've ever felt anything like it before. And then my stomach exploded.

My stomach, especially when things were really bad, was very sensitive to upsetting stimuli. This was another sign for me that something was wrong. Because here I was smiling in my scary dream of a waking life, and having fun, even though something felt wrong...and my body started screaming at me to see that something wasn't right. It's possible my body was just fucking with me, but that's not how it feels to me now. It feels like my body was reacting to something I wasn't facing - and my later stomach cramps felt like an extension of that.

What I'm thinking is that Michael is really cool. But that if we're going to coninue seeing each other, that he needs to dial it back. Or we both do, to be more precise. We need to cut back on the time we're spending together, and let things go at a normal pace...or I won't be able to have a truly happy ending with him. Fools rush in, and while much of what we've experienced in our first week was fun, I can't help be feel that it was foolish - not stupid and not insane; just not the best way to go. I think both of our reactions have been completely understandable...but completely unfeasible as well. We can't just skip to the end, no matter how badly we want that happy ending.

I feel good about these conclusions. I feel like the experiences I've had in my life, terrible as some of them have been, are paying off a bit here. I feel I'm looking at this situation with the seasoned eyes of a person who would never have had this kind of insight when he was 20. When I was 20 I went along with another man who wanted to jump to the end (Gene Warrick) and it too was a kind of nightmare. I wouldn't change that, as I learned a lot about myself in those days. But this situation is different, because (and this is key) Michael is sane. lol. He's not crazy. I think he's a remarkable fellow who's had some very difficult times and has come through them better than other people would have. Plus...I'm not the same man I was when I was 20. I know you can't jump to the end. And who would want to? It never works when you try, so why bother?

Michael apparently texted and called while I was asleep. As I was writing this he sent a text saying that he was scared and worried about me and if I wanted to end things with him to just let him know (apparently thinking that I hadn't responded because I didn't want to speak to him) - this, less than 24 hours after I've last seen him. That's the kind of thing that's worrying to me. For one thing, I'm not the kind of guy who ends things with a guy by not calling him. And beyond that, less than 24 hours without a call (after knowing each other for 1 week) should not a crisis make. I have to call him and talk to him about this. I hope it goes well. If we can land on the same page than things can progress...and if for some reason they can't, I'll be grateful for the fun times he gave me - even though we've only known each other a week (we chatted online before that, but only like 3 times) - it was intense and memorable.

Wish me luck.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:04 AM
   [Karma: 0 (+/-)] [Comments Welcome Here]

After the last entry, I called Michael but he didn't answer (he was asleep); I left him a very direct voicmail though telling him all my feelings and how I needed our relationship to slow down. I rambled on a bit, but I think I expressed myself well, and I felt good about it. I then called Mollie, hoping to get her feedback, but she didn't answer; I very rarely get to talk to her anymore and I hate it. Then I went on AIM and chatted with Mark (as he'd sent me an e-mail about a song he liked) - then Michael called me back. He hadn't listened to my voicemail, so I told him what was going on with me, and he understood, and admitted that he knew he was very intense and that he was willing to give me space to take the pressure off, even insisting that he wouldn't be calling me until Friday when he's picking me up to go to Necto. That was nice. It all went very well. Hopefully things continue to go well.

So I saw this interview and it suggested that the first of the 3 December Who specials, might actually air in November, with the final 2 airing in December. That would be nice. Also...there are at least 3 returning charcters in the final 2 specials:

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Donna Noble (!!!)
Sylvia Noble

&

Wilfred Mott, who will be the Doctor's Companion in the final 2 specials - which SOOO ROCKS - as I have long hoped to see him and the Doctor travel together (though I suspect they won't do much traveling in the TARDIS). I feel really good about all that I'm hearing about these final 3 specials. Plus we also know the Ood will appear and that there will be sequel elements to 'Human Nature' / 'The Family of Blood'.

There is also a picture which people are saying is The Master, but this has not been confirmed.

'Planet of the Dead' which airs on Saturday is described as the last romp, before the final 3 specials get 'very dark'. I like my Doctor dark, so I'm very excited about those 3 specials.

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:26 AM
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   Thursday, April 9, 2009

My stomach was upset again yesterday. I feel like I'm regressing, and I'm not happy about it.

I chatted with Michael a few hours ago, on gay.com. I think we sorted some stuff out, but there were a few moments where I thought we might be done. Michael isn't good at expressing himself using the written word and the things he was trying to say ended up sounding like something else altogether. But we cleared that up. I think. We might be hanging out Friday evening.

I just watched last week's Smallville episode. I've really been enjoying this season, after the dreadful Season 7. But one of the things I loathed about Season 7 was the 'Veritas' storyline, which was retroactive continuity done horribly wrong. I don't mind that kind of thing when it fits in with things we've actually seen, but when the shit they're pouring out doesn't match up with the first few seasons and we're just supposed to have forgotten that - I find it annoying. The retrocon in this episode ("Eternal") was better than last season, but they still brough in the Veritas storyline which was so terribly handled last season and was deadly dull to boot - and it ended with the suggestion this will be important to the closing episodes of the season, which I'm a little worried about.

I have about 20 pages left in the 2nd Robotech book, "Battle Cry". It's slow going.

I was watching "Repo: The Genetic Opera" earlier but it feels like something that needs a lot of volume, and I didn't want to wake up Mark, so I was going to wait until Mark went to work. Only he stayed home with a migrain (which I can relate to) so I'm trying to be quiet.

I think I'm gonna jack off and take a long hot shower.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:32 AM
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   Friday, April 10, 2009

After my shower Thursday morning I took a nap. Michael texted me at 10:05am to let me know that he tested positive for Mono, having caught it from his female boss, who has been coughing and then using the phone at work. He texted me as soon as he found out so I could get tested. I tried calling my doctor's office for an appointment, but I couldn't get through. Mark & I decided we'd both go as he needed to make an appointment as well, and also needed to stop by his work, which is located near by the doctor's office.

We made it to the Doctor's office around noon I think. I talked to a nurse who took all my information, and said she'd e-mail it to my doctor, who wasn't in. She also said that it would be better to test for Mono in a few days as I might test a false negative. We set up an appointment for Monday at 2pm, with everyone being extremely helpful. Mark then made his appointment (for today) and I made sure they had a note on the file that he too should be tested as he & I have shared food and he might have been exposed as well.

Next we headed to Mark's work. The weather outside was very nice when we left home, with most of the snow from just a few days ago gone and the sun was bright, but it seemed to be warming up even more as the day progressed. Just before arriving at Mark's work, Michael texted us to invite us to his Arby's for lunch, but we had so much to do that we declined. Michael also had it be known that anytime we went to hang out with Michael's friends that Mark should feel welcome to come and that he never wants Mark to be feel excluded, which I thought was sweet - except that all of Michael's friends are smokers and Mark can't be around that. We said our goodbye to Michael and were soon at Mark's work.

Mark was busy with work stuff so I went outside to call my Granmother to see if we might stop by and get my tax info - only she wasn't home. I called my mom's house (which is attached to my Grandmother's house) and my step-father Doug answered. We had a really great chat about his work, Easter & family, but he didn't know where Grandma was. He did tell me he'll be retiring in 6 months. Mark & I left for Meijer soon after I got off the phone with him.

On the way to Meijer (so Mark could return some movies) I called Janice. I let her know I had Mono and that I was seeing a new guy (Michael) and then I put her on speaker phone so she could talk to Mark about his tax questions. Then we talked about how her kids are doing and other family stuff, before I let her go while we drove out to Little Caesars.

The food was good. We ate it in the car with the windows down. And the woman who waited on us (who knows us by name, though we don't know hers) gave us an extra free drink. It was a nice little car picnic. I tried my Grandma's again and she was home so after stopping at the gas station we went out to Milan to get my tax stuff and visit.

The trip out there was a bit nostalgic as we had to enter Milan the way we often did back when I was first dating Mark. We noted all the changes to the landscape, and I pointed out different spots that recur in my dreams. It was nice.

Grandma was watching a divorce court show when we arrived and was anxious to learn the results of a paternity test. lol. She looks good and I told her that her haircut was nice. My grandmother has always liked that I talk about things that nobody else is likely to say, and so I feel free to bring stuff up with her that I might not otherwise...so in our conversations I mentioned that her haircut was sexy, and then later we discussed breasts. lol. Most of the visit was just normal family fun though. We left Grandma's to visit Aunt Marge. We visited with Aunt Marge, Uncle Mike White, Grandpa, Mom (who got home while we were there) and Katie, who had a letter saved that I wrote to her when she was born, that he mother had saved. It was all good. Very good.

We headed home eventually as I was feeling tired. When we got home Mark went to his room and I went to mine. I got naked asap. I'm almost always naked at home. I read a quote by 10th Doctor David Tennant about Saturday's Doctor Who Special:

"It's quite a romp I think. It's got some dark moments. There's a tiny little hint at the very end that it's all about to get a lot darker. Because obviously at the end of the year it's the end of the line for the 10th doctor. This is kind of a romp. This is the last time the doctor gets to have fun, in a way."

That bit about there being a tiny little hint of darkness at the end makes me excited to see this special.

I decided to rewatch last year's Christmas Special ("The Next Doctor") which I hadn't really enjoyed the first time around. I liked it a lot more the 2nd time, though I still feel it pales in comparison to just about every adventure since mid Season 3. But maybe it was supposed to in a way. I don't think they made it to be bad, but I think they may have made it to have the silly romp qualities that "Planet of the Dead" is said to have - so that the darker quality of the final 3 installments would be better served?

I went to sleep soon after the special ended and woke up at nearly 3am. I felt like I had a fever. I noticed that Michael had texted me a few hours ago, saying he was going to bed. I texted him back to let him know I was awake and how I was feeling and to wish him sweet dreams. He unexpectedly called me right back. He was awake and in a lot of pain with an Anal Abscess, which he's experienced twice before. He had decided that he was going to the hospital, but was worried about surgery, having experienced this problem twice before. We both expressed worry for the other, and exchanged texts explaining what was going on. I took some Ibuprofen for my fever and laid back down feeling feverish and drowsy. If I had been well I would have driven Michael to the hospital myself, but as it was Michael ended up driving himself, letting me know he'd text me with info, and giving me his friend Melissa's phone # in case of emergency. I fell asleep soon after, around 4am I think.

I woke up around 8am. There was a text from Michael at about 5:12am:

"Waiting now to be called to go back will let you know everything when I konw ohand still MISS YOU"

That final message was nearly 4 hours ago. My fever feels gone for the most part, and while I'm certain I had one, I doubt it had anything to do with the Mono, as symptoms don't usually kick in this fast. It could have been anything really, as many of my friends have reported being ill or having odd symptoms of late.

One good piece of news. The new "New Frontier" book has been shipped so that should arrive on my doorstep next week. The new book in the series (which I read all of in the last 2 years) is called "Treason". I'll most likely read that book next.

Anyways. I'm sitting here feeling loads better for me (though still slightly off) - but very worried about Michael. I just texted him; hopefully he's ok. I'm contemplating a trip to the hospital to check on his status if I don't hear from him; he went to St. Joe's.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:57 AM
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Just got a text from Michael:

9:29 Surgery right now.

   posted by Bald Jason at 09:29 AM
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Michael surgery seems to have gone ok. I left to visit him at about 10:30am. I was let back into the emergency room to see him, and I was with him while he got dressed. We checked out (the nurse who gave him his meds said he talked about me while he was there) and went out to Michael's car to wait for his friends Melissa & Scott (his ex). We talked and held hands and were affectionate while we waited. We didn't wait long. Melissa, who I met last Saturday gave me a hug and said it was good to see me again. Scott looked bitter, but accepted my handshake and I told him it was good to meet him. He then turned to Michael and said: "Do we have to drive him home now?" - as if he didn't know my name and I wasn't even there. Erg. Michael and I both said no at the same time, and Michael explained that I'd just come to visit him. Michael and I hugged goodbye and we went our separate ways.

When I was leaving I noticed the car made an odd noise while starting. It had made the noise when I was leaving home, but a neighbor's car had started at the same time as mine so I thought it was their car. Our car needs to be taken it; there are a few minor, but annoying troubles with it at the moment. I took a way home that I don't usually take, enjoying the weather and the happy feeling of just seeing Michael.

When I got home I cleaned up the car a bit. I stripped down when I got home and started sorting laundry. I REALLY need to do some laundry today. I was watching the news when Michael called. We talked about how good it was to see each other, and how Scott was an ass; I guess they got in a fight about the way Scott acted, on their way home. Michael didn't want me doing laundry or anything as he wants me to rest and make sure I feel better, but I told him it made me feel good to get stuff done when I'm in a mood like this. We said we'd contact each other later, and said goodbye for now.

I finished watching the news, and I wrote this. Now I'm going to get some laundry started.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:23 PM
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I was planning on staying in today and resting and doing laundry (I've already started 1 load), but Mark wants me to go to his doctor's appointment with him; he says he's braver with me there. We do things like this for each other so I guess I'm going back to the doctor's office. The only thing is I've just put most of my pants in the washer. And I want to take a nap. But now I have to be ready to leave in less than an hour... And we won't be going to the appointment and then home because I need to mail my tax stuff, and Mark needs to run some errands too (though I forgot what they were). Still...that's what friends are for.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:53 PM
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I talked to Michael on the phone. He's a little jealous of the time I share with Mark, and that Mark knows me better than he does, but he says he's not threatened by him. He said he's trying to be an adult about this stuff and then said he thought he deserved a prize for this, saying he wanted a hug. I told him I had a better one. I suggested I could refer to him as my boyfriend, as that's what he has become in my mind; that it didn't mean we were going to work out or that we'd live happily ever after but that it seemed silly to pretend he isn't my boyfriend when that's what he is to me. He said I'm the best, and that I was making him cry. Awwww.

He just texted me his address. lol.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:37 PM
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Mark's doc appointment seemed to go well. We then went to the bank, and then Meijer so he could pick up some stuff related to his problems. We went to the post office to mail out my state tax info & get some stamps. And again went to LC where we got more delicious food. We came home and ate some more of the food while I showed Mark the volume compromised version of Repo that Bryan gave me. I put the first load of laundr in the dryer and a 2nd load in the washer. I'm kind of exhausted, but today has been good for the most part.

I forgot to mention that a nurse called me earlier and said that if I have contracted Mono that I might not get symptoms for over a month, possibly two. And that if I did catch Mono (I'll be tested for it on Monday) that Michael & I couldn't reinfect each other with the same strain, which means if I have it we can go back to kissing like crazy. They also said I may have had the strain in the past without knowing it and might be immune. But if I don't have it, then I still might not be able to kiss Michael for 6 weeks - though - maybe I'll kiss him anyways.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:56 PM
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   Saturday, April 11, 2009

I went to bed around 8pm I think. I woke up around 3am. There was a text from Michael to call him when I woke up, but my throat was feeling really scratchy and I didn't feel like talking; I'm worried I might have caught Mark's cold, but I'm not coughing (or not as much as him) so hopefully it's just me being paranoid. I slept well. I had odd dreams about vampires and monsters. They weren't frightening, so much as gorey; I was a monster fighter. lol Well, I'm gonna call Michael.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:59 AM
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Nice chat with Michael. We're happy. But we're both under the weather per say, which sucks. My stomach was bothering me so I let him go. Now we're texting back and forth about e-mail. lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 05:44 AM
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About an hour ago a migrain hit me. It's weird. Yesterday I thought I was getting one and then I didn't. And this new one just hit without any warning signs at all. Just BAM; there it was. I had noticed an odd smell before hand, and I know some migrain sufferers experience that, but I don't think I ever have. It was odd.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:27 AM
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My headache is mostly gone now. I worked on my website a bit. Not really sure what I'm doing... I'm trying to organize stuff, but I suck at it.

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:58 AM
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I slept a little; was going to sleep more but Mark woke me up to see if I could go to the store for some water. I plan on going later. I was going to go back to bed, but instead I got up, gave Mark a hug, and continued doing my laundry, which I'm nearly finished with; just 2 more loads I think. I made my bed and picked up some clutter in my room. Things look better. I also printed up directions to Michael's as I'd like to stop by later, assuming that I don't pass out. I'd also like to do the dishes, take out the trash, and shave.

Wish me luck.

I'm listening to 80's music on random play. "Under the Milky Way" by The Church was just on; reminding me that I want to rewatch 'Donnie Darko' sometime soon; I've not watched it in years now.

   posted by Bald Jason at 12:50 PM
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