Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I cleaned my room on Sunday. I also did laundry and cleaned the bathroom a bit. Shaved and showered. I watched the first of the final 3 episodes of Pushing Daisies. Michael came over Sunday night; after midnight it was our 2 month anniversary. We had some really fantastic sex. We also watched the next episode of BSG that he needed to see: "Sometimes a Great Notion"; a brilliant installment (my initial spoiler free reaction to the episode can be read here). Then we talked for a bit and went to sleep.

We only slept for about 4 hours before we got up and ready to meet my sister Janice at our grandparents' house to practice the song we're singing together by my grandmother's request, at her anniversary party in a few weeks. Michael got to see my grandparents again, and met Janice & Doug. It was a nice visit. Oh. Also drove Michael in our car for the first time; all our other trips, other people have driven. I got us home just before he had to leave for work, and we parted company. He's coming back on Wednedsay; Thursday is his birthday and we're planning on seeing Wolverine & T4 in the theater that day.

Monday I had woken up with a headache and took some Midrin, which kicked the pain to the curb, but after Michael left I took a nap...and after waking the pain had returned. I didn't want to take any more Midrin, as I'm nearly out, so I suffered in silence. I worked on my cyber farm and read all the news. My monitor was acting up. I watched the final 2 episodes of Pushing Daisies, and though I've read that they weren't given any notice that they'd been cancelled and they tacked on an ending in response it actually played out alright in my opinion. The show has something resembling an ending - which is more than a lot of shows get, and while I'll welcome any future installments, I'm ok with where the series left us, which is nice.

I slept some more. I later talked to Caleb online. We talked about how odd it was that my last text to him was that he'd made my boyfriend jealous by texting me, and then he met my boyfriend and spent the night at his house! lol. Small world. Caleb stayed the night with Jesse, but according to Caleb they didn't have sex, though he said that Michael & David think think that they did. Michael later told me he doesn't care at all. lol. People are silly.

Oh. When Michael was over, he mentioned in passing that just after Jesse moved in (before he'd even told me that Jesse had moved in) that Jesse had confessed to having a crush on Michael...which Michael didn't tell me. If you confess that you have a crush on a guy that you're moving in with, that seems to me like you're making a pass at him - which would be fine, except he knew that Michael was with me. Michael even said that when Jesse told him this, Michael told him that he was with me, and then Jesse responded that he respected that. Whatever. I didn't trust him before, and now I trust him less. So, Jesse went from Michael to this Phil guy (whom Michael had fucked the previous year, and who uses a different name online [AdenAdrennes], and who states quite proudly that he's not into dating or fucking just one guy, ever) who fucked Jesse over. Then Jesse hangs out with Phil's friend Caleb & is now hung up on Caleb. It's all very much like a gay soap opera. lol. I find it all oddly amusing.

I talked to Michael on the phone around midnight I think. He was closing his store and was way behind. He was working with his friend Patches and Jesse was coming in to help him close. I was kind of foggy, as I'd taken some strong pain killer, so he let me go. I texted Mark to find out when he was coming home, as I was worried. He called and said he'd be home very soon. When he arrived home, he hung out in my room for like an hour. It was hard to concentrate on what I was doing while he spoke about random things... But it was nice to see him. We had a serious moment concerning his happy memories of a time that wasn't really happy at all, and then he went to bed.

And then I wrote this.

I found some old notepads; e-mails and letters and sort of blog type things. I might transcribe them as old blog entries. We'll see.

Oh. And Michael Anderson, whom Mollie & I both worked with (her at STAPLES and me at HOLLYWOOD) shares his birthday with my Michael! lol. Cute.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:04 AM
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I'm still awake. I should have gone to bed, but I had to harvest my farm...so I stayed up on gay.com (first time in at least 2 weeks). And this was not an assortment of conversations that ended with guys hitting on me... This was me chatting with a friend about the intricate plot strands of BSG. It was great fun. lol. Then, I ended up clicking a link to find out that Season 3 of Torchwood comes out on DVD the same day as BSG 4.5 - July 28. Also released that day, is Doctor Who: Planet of the Dead. No word on when "The Next Doctor" will be released. Hmmm. Then I clicked a link and watched the premiere of Nurse Jackie. I liked it. I think Mollie might like it. I'm exhausted. I'm going to brush my teeth, turn down the air, and try to get some sleep.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:30 AM
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woke up around 1pm. Somehow I hurt my back. I sometimes sleep on it wrong, but I think I probably hurt it coming up the stairs the other day. I'm extremely clumsy and I almost fell, and I had to move in an odd way to prevent that, and I think that hurt my back. I have a fucked up back, and the doctors tell me it's really easy for me to mess it up. Thankfully I don't mess it up too often, but I'm telling you right now this is the worst back pain I've had in years. It feels like it's spreading out.

I got a text from Michael. Apparently, Jesse, who is quickly becoming very, very annoying - told Michael this morning, that I had chatted with Caleb and that during that chat we talked about hooking up. What Jesse didn't know was that I'd already told Michael that Celeb and I had talked, and what we talked about. And while we did briefly (like in the course of 2 sentences of the chat) discuss our almost hooking up last year, we did not discuss hooking up in the here and now in any capacity beyond us all hanging out, as a group (not in an orgy kind of way). This leaves me thinking that either Jesse feels threatened by me, or he's just a vindictive bitch. Even if he does feel threatened by me, I'm the wronged party here. First he hit on my boyfriend (after moving in with him); then he tries starting shit again when he's moved on to another boy (or to one guy, and then another guy; he's on the rebound from yet another guy, so I won't call him an outright ho). I think when Michael turned him down on my behalf he got burned and now sees me as an obstacle, even if he's not after Michael anymore. This is the kind of pointless drama that I've managed to avoid in the last year, and I'm annoyed that it's cropping up now. Oh. And did I mention that Jesse used to chat with me years ago too? And that he friended me on gay.com, and implied that he was interested in me (though I wasn't interested back)? Now that I think about it, finding out that Michael (who he's hot for) and I (who he used to like) are a couple must stir some emotions in him. Then for him to go from Michael to Phil (whom Michael had sletp with last year), then to Caleb (who almost hooked up with me last year) might drive anyone crazy. Hmmm. It's Small Small Small Small Gay Gay Gay Gay World. But he hit on my man when he knew we were together, so I call that shit KARMA...and slightly funny.

There's only one guy I'm interested in having a relationship (or even just sex) with at the moment, and his name is Michael Glen Slaughter (also known as Colin in various circles). I get hit on when I'm online or at the bar. 99% of these men (and a few women) hold no interest for me at all, even when I'm single. I used to be annoyed by such attention, but I've learned to take it as a compliment and nothing more; I even appreciate it because I know there might come a time when people don't find me attractive - so why not accept these advances in the spirit that they're given? But I don't take most of them seriously is my point. The 1% that I do find attractive are often unavailable or undesirable depending on multiple factors, or even if they are available, I'm not. I cheated once, over a decade ago, and the experience taught me that cheating doesn't give me a thrill and it doesn't turn me on, and I don't find it fun or exciting or attractive...so I don't cheat. I do notice when other people are hot (and I don't expect my partners to not be attracted to others - that's just silly), and I often tell them when I think they're hot but that's as far as it goes. That's part of me complimenting people when I can, which started years ago, and is one of the aspects of myself that I like. I like to think that it balances some of my darker humor that annoys some people. But like I said, that's as far as it goes. When I used to write poetry all the time (something I miss) I used to write hot sexy poetry about people I found attractive, even if I was in a relationship, as I saw that as a healthy outlet for such tension. But even when I'm single, I can't just randomly hook up with people, which Michael CAN do, and often used to, right up to the point where he met me. For me, there has to be something more than just the physical attraction for me to not regret the activity. I've learned that by my own experiences. I understand that I'm probably a minority in the way I feel, and that's fine. I don't expect others to be exactly like me, but that's how I am, and I'm ok with that. If I'm attracted to a guy, but that other connection isn't there for me, I'd rather just jack off. Oh, and I'm not one of those guys who doesn't jack off, or doesn't enjoy it, who always feels the need to have sex with another guy (or girl) to get off, and I'm glad I'm not. That would drive me crazy! But I know LOTS of guys who ARE like that. Michael is one of them, and while I don't understand them, I know it's fairly common (I encounted those guys all the time), where as if I get horny, and I'm on my own I don't go looking for a guy to satisfy me - I just dial direct and then hop in the shower, because if I'm going to be with someone it isn't about satisfying a sexual craving; at least not to that degree. I do (for the most part) enjoy sex with a partner to sex with myself, but I don't pursue men to fill that desire - that's just a really great bonus....

Anyways...I've ranted enough.

Before I wrote this, I called Michael about the text and we talked and talked (and it was good) and Mark, who was getting ready for work came in and was nice enough to get me a water and some ibuprofen for my back. Mark also showed me his new haircut which he thought he'd messed up, but I honestly couldn't see what he was talking about in my dim lighted room with my glasses off. I'm sure he'll find some way to fix it; he's so much better at that sort of thing than I ever was or ever will be. He's sweet.

Michael eventually let me go so he could get ready for work. Before that I shouted out how much I loved him and he told me that I make him feel really good, which made me smile. Now I'm on my own. I ate and took some pain killer, which is kicking in and making me foggy. I do seem to take a lot of pain killer...but sadly, I have a lot of pain, so I guess that's just part of my survival. I do have days and sometimes weeks where I don't take any, but I seldom realize this until I need more and then I realize how long it's been and I'm always a bit shocked. That's sad...isn't it?

So Torchwood Season 3 (which hasn't aired yet) will be out on DVD on July 28; the same day as BSG 4.5, and the recent Doctor Who special, "Planet of the Dead". What's odd is that they've not released the previous Doctor Who special, "The Next Doctor", and I'm wondering why that's not been released, and if they'll release it as part of a boxed set with the other specials? and I'll have to buy this one twice or something? They've just never released them out of sequence before, which has me slightly worried. The other news about Torchwood is cool, because it means I'll soon have Season 3, and it's cheaper than previous seasons as there are 8 less episodes this season (which sucks, but saves my limited funds).

About the new Doctor Who; the 11th Doctor, and his coming to the screen, with a new companion, and a new head writer, and a new production team, and a new TARDIS, and a new everything - in my head, it feels very much like My Doctor Who is ending and a new show is beginning. That might not be how it feels when it actually happens, but that's how it feels in my head. When the 9th Doctor regenerated, I felt slightly odd about that, but the show was pretty much the same show. Rose was still there, and they followed up on many of the same things that they'd done in the previous season, while having some cracking new adventures - though there was a new flavor to things. The same thing happened with the arrival of Martha Jones, and then Donna, but while each season has had at least one major cast change - this is seems a lot larger than that. This feels like the entire series is regenerating into something else. I'm not saying it will be terrible; I might love it. But what I am saying is that I'm a bit more worried about this transition than I've been about any of the other changes since the show's revival, because this really feels like the end of an era. I think Mollie feels the same. I believe Wendy commented on this feeling last time I saw her, and I be a lot of other people are experencing this the same way we are. This is why the upcoming specials are so thrilling.

And my back HURTS. And the painkiller is helping, but the back pain is annoying, and... I'm done.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:50 PM
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Watched news. Chatted with Chris. Made friends with a fellow Doctor Who fan. Tried to not think about the horrible pain in my back. I'm thinking I'm going to sleep, read, watch Lost... or something. lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:20 PM
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   Wednesday, June 3, 2009

My back was hurting really bad this morning, but has since gotten a lot better, I think. Or maybe I'm just getting used to it? I don't know. I think it's better. We'll see how I feel in the morning.

I talked to Mollie last night. First on Facebook, and then again on the phone. She's going through some crazy shit; just like always. Her fainting spells continue, but now they think they might be caused my massive migrains!?! She's had some really scary things happen, but she's in good spirits, which is better than if she wasn't. Her mother continues to worsen, so Mollie might be back with us. It's sad because people get sick...and then it takes them a long time to die, and during that time they get worse and worse and their lives become very painful and very pointless - and they end up far worse than if they'd just died earlier. It sucks that people have to die at all, but it sucks worse when your life is so beyond anything enjoyable and you're not allowed to die. Ugh. Heavy thoughts.

Oh. And Mollie did get Kenny's phone. She thanked Mark for it in her blog, but appaently he doesn't read it.

I argued with some fans today. Not fans of me, but fans of things I like. The thing is, I seldom get along with people who like the same things as me, as they almost always like them for completely opposite reasons. Annoying.

I'm tired.

I chatted briefly with Wendy. She saw the new Star Trek movie (XI) and is now loving Trek; she's currently watching the first season of Classic Trek! Crazy. I'll be interested in seeing if she ever gets to watch DS9 (the best Trek ever). Wendy is also going back to Peru, this weekend I think.

Michael came over around 8pm, and I let Wendy go after Michael got out of the shower. We cuddled and talked. And had really great sex. TWICE. Like...right in a row. I've not done that in years. It was fantastic. Sadly, LC was about to close so I couldn't get my crazy bread I wanted, but Michael wanted to go get food. I stayed here to rest up. I think I'm going to lay down.

Tomorrow is Michael's 37th Birthday. Mike Anderson, that I used to work with, will be turning 25 I think, as well.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:56 PM
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   Thursday, June 4, 2009

When Michael got back, we watched the BSG webisode series "The Face of the Enemy". I was struck by the realization that the webisodes make more sense if viewed after "A Disquiet Follows My Soul". Though the bulk of TFotE takes place before ADFMS, there are 2 scenes that take place during it, and it's odd trying to reconcile the two installments while watching ADFMS. It's easier to view TFotE as a series of nothing but flashbacks, set in the New Caprica Arc, in the later 3rd season episode "Take a Break From All Your Worries", in the spot that we just mentioned, and again in scenes leading up to the end of ADFMS - with all of these flashbacks explaining how Gaeta came to his decision at the end of ADFMS, and setting the stage for the following 2 episodes which serve as a reckoning for the character. I updated my BSG pages accordingly. I get so excited when I'm able to place a new installment in it's precise place. lol. I'm such a geek.

After that Michael paid his bills while I slept. We slept for a few hours. I got up when my back started hurting. That's when I updated my site. I worked on my cyber farm. I had an exchange with an increasingly annoying Brit about Doctor Who air & release dates. It's been confirmed that BBC America will air Doctor Who: The Next Doctor on Saturday June 27th; Doctor Who: Planet of the Dead on Sunday July 26th. Torchwood: Children of Earth will be aired from Monday July 20 - Friday July 25, and be released on DVD & Blu Ray on Tuesday July 28, along with the Blu Ray version of Torchwood Series Two, and both versions of Doctor Who: Planet of the Dead. This is also the day that BSG 4.5 is being released on DVD. All great news! Though it's unclear why 'The Next Doctor' isn't being released as well, or when & how it will come to light.

I slept some more, but barely. My back, my head and my stomach are all unhappy. I just took some prilosec & Midrin. We're seeing 'Wolverine' today for sure. I'm not sure I'll be up for T4 or not. We'll see after 'Wolverine'. I figure it's best to see Wolverine now as it might not be in theaters for much longer, while T4 probably has a few more weeks left in it.

Michael is getting out of the shower. I need to get dressed so we can go. Argh.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:08 AM
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We saw 'X-Men Origins: Wolverine', and I mostly enjoyed it. There were two minor things that were annoying. A special effect that didn't really work in one scene, and a line of dialogue that should have been cut, as it stretched all common sense to the breaking point. The only other flaw in the prequel format that I can think of, is that they don't explain how Sabretooth gets his name, or how he ends up mildly retarded in the first X-Men movie. It was great seeing the movie with Michael though. We held hands, and kissed. There was only 2 other guys in the theater. My back hurt like a mofo during the movie though.

We went to LC after the movie. Then came home. Aside from some playful diggs we're getting along great, and the day is working out so far. We still might go see T4 later, but it's not been decided yet. We still need to get a ranch dressing from LC that we forgot, as Michael used one of Mark's last night. We also need to get my drugs from the RiteAid. I just had one of my eating pills though so I'm sort of exhausted.

Michael's watching me type. I love him so much. The last 16 hours or so have been amazing and I'm very grateful for him. ;-0)

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:43 PM
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We layed down for a nap. That became cuddles. Which became sex. Apparently fucking is good for my back, as it always feels better during and directly after. I've been fucked 3 times in less than 24 hours. I hope my body can take it. I mean...it took it. lol. But I hope I don't suffer any negative side effects. Wish me luck. But for the record, it felt perfectly natural; it felt amazing.

Michael's going to get some food. My stomach feels weird so I'm staying here. I don't think I'm ill; it's just that now that my stomach works better I'm very sensitive about food moving through my body; probably because it didn't for so many years. I'll be fine, I'm sure. I just need to chill for a bit.

A few times today I've felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack. I'm not sure why. I'm not that stressed or anything. I just feel... I don't know how to describe it. I'm happy...yet haunted. Haunted by what, I'm not sure.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:14 PM
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When Michael got back with his food, he watched a movie ("Rites of Passage"), then started another one ("Sugar"); both starring cast members from his current obsession: "Roswell". I napped. Then we had sex again. lol. Later we went to RiteAid to get my drugs only to learn that my insurance doesn't really cover them!?! Issues. Erg. Then went to Kroger, then visited Mark. We were going to see T4, but it looked crowded, and I suggested we see the matinee in the morning. We then went to LC & Baskin Robbins, came home and watched BSG. Now, it's come out that Michael is going home tonight, so we're not seeing the movie tomorrow, but we're planning on going on Tuesday.

   posted by Bald Jason at 10:57 PM
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   Friday, June 5, 2009

I watched an episode of a series called "Party Down", which amused me. Later I read the first story in a cycle of tales by Caitlyn R. Kiernan called "In the Waterworks (Birmingham, Alabama 1888)". I'd read it once before, years ago. I've read 2 of the other stories in this book ("Tales of Pain and Wonder"), that relate to the cycle of stories that I mean to read now. But perhaps I'll read the rest of this collection? Her books often scare me.

   posted by Bald Jason at 06:49 AM
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My back has really been bothering me today. I slept a lot though. I had odd dreams. Mark worked out my perscription woes, I think. I'm listening to remixes and mashups of the Jennifer Paige song 'Crush', and the Chris Cornell song "Part of Me" which were stuck in my head when I woke up. I should call Michael. Actully, Mark just told me that Michael texted him earlier. I keep forgetting that it's Friday; I thought it was Saturday all day.

The 60th Milan Fair is closing down tonight. I've been invited to the fireworks by an old friend, but I'm not sure I can make it out there. My back is really bothering me, though I've been using heat on it, and taking ibuprofen. Erg.

I just read a new bit on Battlestar Galactica: The Plan, which now lists the movie as airing in September!!! That's 2 months earlier than previous reports; I hope this new report is true. It's possible the movie will air in September and then be released on DVD in November. It had been reported before that the DVD cut would be longer and this new report states the exact length of both versions; the tv version will be 88 minutes, while the DVD version will run 126 minutes! Nice. It's also said that the movie covers the first 281 days of the series, which would mean the movie covers through the 2nd Season Finale, "Lay Down Your Burdens, Part II" (and the Cylon exodus from Caprica) - which is what I've been guessing at; in my rewatch order I've placed "The Plan" just after that episode! ;-0) I'm going to add that to my BSG: The Plan page right now.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:47 PM
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   Saturday, June 6, 2009

My stomach, which was upset most of yesterday, is feeling a lot better. My back is still hurting though. I've been working on my BSG pages. I just got all the extended cut running times from the dvds and posted those on the site, as I couldn't find the information anywhere else. Now I just have to wait for the 4.5 boxed set to see what the extended cuts are like on the 3 extended episodes: "A Disquiet Follows My Soul", "Islanded in a Stream of Stars" & the series finale "Daybreak".

While working on the BSG pages I found a few sources that state that Caprica the series starts in January. I don't know how I missed that bit of info. I just knew it that it would start in 2010. I didn't know exactly where. Nice. Just 6 months away, and plenty to look forward to until then...

Off the top of my head:

June 08 The Closer 5x01

June 14 True Blood 2x01

June 15 The Closer 5x02

June 18 Caprica Soundtrack

June 21 True Blood 2x02

June 22 The Closer 5x03

June 28 True Blood 2x03

June 29 The Closer 5x04

July 02 ST-TNG: Losing the Peace

July 06 The Closer 5x05

July 12 True Blood 2x04

July 13 The Closer 5x06

July 19 True Blood 2x05

July 20 The Closer 5x07

July 20 Torchwood: Children of Earth, Part 1

July 21 Torchwood: Children of Earth, Part 2

July 22 Torchwood: Children of Earth, Part 3

July 23 Torchwood: Children of Earth, Part 4

July 23 BSG Season 4 Soundtrack

July 24 Torchwood: Children of Earth, Part 5

July 26 True Blood 2x06

July 27 The Closer 5x08

July 28 BSG 4.5 DVD (with Extended Cuts)

July 28 Torchwood: Children of Earth DVD Set

July 28 Doctor Who: Planet of the Dead DVD

July 30 ST-DS9: The Soul Key

July 31 ST-TNG: The Last Generation

August 02 True Blood 2x07

August 03 The Closer 5x09

August 04 The Red Tree

August 04 Paul of Dune (Paperback)

August 04 Throne of Dune (Hardcover)

August 09 True Blood 2x08

August 10 The Closer 5x10

August 12 My 35th Birthday

August 16 True Blood 2x09

August 17 The Closer 5x11

August 23 True Blood 2x10

August 24 The Closer 5x12

August 27 ST-DS9: The Never Ending Sacrifice

August 30 True Blood 2x11

August 31 The Closer 5x13

September 6: True Blood 2x12 (season finale)

September: BSG: The Plan

September: The Sarah Jane Adventures 3
^guess.

October 01 ST-VOY: Unworthy

October 22 ST-ENT: The Romulan War

October 29 ST-Titan: Synthesis

November: BSG: The Plan DVD (Extended Cut)
^this is just a guess.

Novemberish: Doctor Who: The Waters of Mars

November 30 ST-VAN: Precipice

December 25: Doctor Who: 10 Finale, Part 1

January 1: Doctor Who: 10 Finale, Part 2
^guess.

Somewhere in all that we also have an animated Doctor Who adventure, and the DVD release of Series 2 of The Sarah Jane Adventures. Plus lots of other stuff that I didn't think of now, or just don't know about yet. lol

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:58 AM
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I read a bit more of my book, which is a collection of stories. I had intended to only read a few stories that relate to some books I want to read, but have since decided to read the entire collection. I read the introduction and the preface, then read a 2nd story. The writing haunts me. I think it might take me a long while to finish this book, simply because I want to take the time to enjoy each story on it's own.

I have heartburn today. Kind of random.

I'm having trouble logging into my farm today. Hopefully that passes. And my monitor continues to die. :-0(

I slept for a bit. I sort of want to go back to sleep, and I suppose I could.

   posted by Bald Jason at 03:39 PM
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