Sunday, December 27, 2009

Saturday I stayed home with Michael. We mostly cuddled. My belly was a bit upset, but it passed. We cuddled and loved and cuddled some more. It was perfect.

Michael chose not to stay another night, to save money, and to be closer to his work (he works today), and have his work stuff sorted. He chatted with me online for a bit, helping out with some stuff, and later watched some Buffy ("Welcome to the Hellmouth" / "The Harvest", "Prophecy Girl").

Also Sunday night, I spoke to Mollie on the phone. She seems to be doing ok. She'll probably get unemployment at the start of the new year. She told me about a book, and her mom, and I told her bout Michael, Christmas, Doctor Who related bits, and Abarat.

Mark spent the day with his mother, Marcus, Julie, Nick & Ethan. Maria sent home Christmas gifts (Gloves! A nice scarf! Socks, and $20.00); all of them appreciated. Mark looked nice, and made it home safe, though he mentioned driving through a blizzard.

I'm very sleepy. I might actually finish the final chapter in my book. But I have an appendix to read after that which is quite lengthy, and that might have to wait until the morning.

I forgot to take my prilosec earlier so I'm quite acidy. Blah. Oh. My phone is blinking. A text from Michael. Night.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:14 AM
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I slept alright, though I had serious acid troubles so my throat is pretty sore. Mark is coughing a lot; I hope he's not ill. I haven't spoken to Michael since last night; I have some stuff to think about there.

I finished the final chapter of Abarat, but I'm holding off on the appendix, because I want to finish the book in 2010. lol. Each year (starting in 2007) I've kept track of the books that I've read in each year. In the several years before 2007 I'd hardly read at all. In 2007 & 2008, as I applied myself to the pleasurable task, I managed to read a lot more. But 2009 was kind of a bum year for reading. I only managed to read 14 novels. I'm hoping to read at least twice as many in 2010, so I'm holding back slightly on Abarat to give myself a leg up. lol. I realize I'm being silly, but...I'm ok with that.

Here are links to my years in books.

2007
2008
2009
2010

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:47 PM
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Read a bit (Robotech, though I've not decided on which volume I'm going to actually read), and slept a bit...I had nightmares; life and love spooling out of control...and technological porn drugs. Worked on my farm, and Michael's too.

Mark IS ill. I hope he feels better soon. I should eat soon; I think it's been long enough that the acid shouldn't bother me.

Here's Lada Gaga's Bad Romance video, which I swear has slightly different imagery than the first time I saw the video upon it's release, though that could just be my brain playing tricks:

   posted by Bald Jason at 08:57 PM
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   Monday, December 28, 2009

I feel broken. Almost all the sex I enjoyed was oral in nature and now that's either gone, or so painful that it might as well be. I don't want to be broken. I feel weird bitching that sex is the main problem I have with my jaw, but it is, and it is important. I don't know how to express that to a doctor or even if I should because if the doctor is perjudiced they could fuck me up worse on purpose and I'd never know the difference.

I'm having some trouble with Michael. It's related to him cheating on me in the past. He cheated on me with this guy, and I thought I was cool with that, except some of my friends now live less than a block from where this took place and going to visit them is painful for me. I had a plan of action to heal this open wound, but Michael won't participate; this I did not foresee. I feel abandoned.

I really want to cut myself.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:33 AM
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I have a slight cough. I hope I'm not getting what Mark has. I'm fucked up enough as it is.

Slept for about 3 hours. Dreams about working at Hollywood Video and Meijer. I've had a series of dreams where I'm working at 2 or more jobs from my past, but usually it's Target and Little Caesars. Weird.

Feel slightly less pained than last night, but more cut off...like I'm sinking into depression.

Gonna have a shake and some vitamins; hope that helps the cough. Perhaps I'll read a bit.

Michael is coming over after work tonight; he has tomorrow off.

I feel slightly zombie-like, yet I'm moving around and stuff. Blah.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:40 AM
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   Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I eventually got some energy last night and decided I'd go to Necto, and then get assorted groceries afterward, using my Christmas money. I had a great time at Necto. It felt good to go out, and I danced a lot without getting tired, despite not getting much exercise in the last few months. Paul's old flame Mark (Mork) was there and actually spoke to me for the first time in about 14 or 15 years. Collin was there. Christine & Bobby were there, the latter apparently having moved back from Chicago and all in a good mood. Dan & Keevan, Becky Scott & Joey were all there as well. It was a good time. I got there around 11 and left around 12:30am so I could get groceries and meet Michael back at my place. I went to Meijer. Spent all my Christmas money on needed groceries. I need more, which I'll probably get later today (Water & Tofu topping my list). I met Michael at my place; getting there before him and showering off the smoke. Michael is trying to quit smoking as his New Year's resolution, but I've heard him say that dozens of times and he lives with a smoker so I don't see it happening, sadly.

Michael had to work on bills and wanted to watch 1 thing (Lucy) and I wanted to watch Metrosexuality, so we watched our separate programs. There was a shocking amount of stuff in Metro that I'd forgotten (full frontal male nudity? Plot twists? crazy), and I'd never watched the DVD extras before which were very illuminating. When I crawled into bed with Michael I wasn't quite ready to sleep so I finished the last 3 chapters of the 2nd Robotech novel, which I'd begun earlier this year and never got around to finishing. I'll continue with the 3rd one now I'm sure as I'm finding it quite enjoyable to visit old friends. I've wanted to reread the series for ages, but I have trouble getting past the first 2 volumes (though I love all the exta scenes - especially the prologue involving Zor).

I slept from about 7am - 2:30pm. I woke up feeling like I had a cold, though I feel a lot better now. Michael and I have been spending time together, but separate on this visit which is nice, but odd. I'd love some cuddles. Maybe I should get back to him and grab some.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:14 PM
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Michael fucked me in this position we seldom use, but which hits all the right spots. Very nice. Later we worked on our farms, and then went to Hillers (for water) and Whole Foods (for Tofu). Michael left after that to do work at home. I'll probably read more Robotech and surf the web. I have to harvest my farm around 10pm. I'm currently on level 60, and despite getting tons of points I'm not moving up in levels the way I did previously; so 60 must be the new cap for easy progress; it used to be around 35 I think and they they updated it. I'll keep plugging away and maybe they'll raise it again and I'll move up several levels at once.

Michael's doing this chat thing that's raising red flags because of our history, but he told me not to worry and I'm trying not to.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:23 PM
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   Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Michael & I had some tense moments tonight, but some nice moments as well. Our relationship is odd I think, but powerful. He admitted he finds other guys attractive and wants to pursue them sexually, but acknowledged this was fucked up - and that what keeps him from following through on his actions is that he doesn't want to lose me. It's normal to be attracted to other people; it's acting on those impulses that gets people into trouble.

Working on my farm, then planning on reading a bit and going to sleep. 2.5 days until the 10th Doctor leaves us. I expect I'll enjoy Part II better than Part I.

   posted by Bald Jason at 02:52 AM
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I planted 3 & 4 day crops on my farm last night. Stayed up for a very long time. When I did eventually sleep I slept ok. I'm not coughing as bad as Mark but there is some coughing and I feel congested, and there's some green sludge, and my throat is irritated. Hopefully it remains mild.

I spoke to Michael today. We talked about last night a bit. It was hard for me to trust him before I knew he betrayed me. It's nearly impossible now, though I'm trying. I'm not sure that I ever will. We'll see.

   posted by Bald Jason at 01:46 PM
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I read a bit. I showered. My cold is getting worse I think. It's hard to concentrate on stuff, and it's not fun. It's still not as bad as Mark's, and I hope it doesn't get that bad, cause he sounds like he's dying. It's becoming increasingly harder to ignore though.

   posted by Bald Jason at 04:24 PM
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Poor Mark, sounds terrible. I can only imagine how he must be feeling. I'm a lot better off. There are stretches of time where I don't feel sick at all, and then I just randomly start coughing and hacking. Blah. Loving the new Lady GaGa; been singing "Bad Romance", "Monster", "So Happy I Could Die" & "Teeth" for days.

Michael's at work. We talked on the phone when he was on his way there. His life is so stressful right now. I hope he'll be ok. I'll probably talk to him later. He's coming by tomorrow night after work. New Year's Eve. Tomorrow is the last day of 2009.

Friday brings the entrance of the 11th Doctor. Not sure I'm ready for that. But I'd better be. Hope the episode is awesome. It's got an amazing guest cast list so it's likely that'll I'll enjoy it.

SPOILERS
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The guest cast of the 10th Doctor's final appearances include (but is not limited to):

Krystal Archer (Nerys)
John Barrowman (Captain Jack Harkness)
Nicholas Briggs (Judoon)
Lachele Carl (Trinity Wells)
Camille Coduri (Jackie Tyler)
Bernard Cribbins (Wilfred Mott)
Jessica Hynes (Verity Newman)*
Paul Kasey (Ood Sigma)
Jacqueline King (Sylvia Noble)
Tommy Knight (Luke Smith)
Alexandra Moen (Lucy Saxon)
Billie Piper (Rose Tyler)
John Simm (The Master)
Elisabeth Sladen (Sarah Jane Smith)
Matt Smith (11th Doctor)
Catherine Tate (Donna Noble)
David Tennant (10th Doctor)
Russell Tovey (Alonso Frame)

Nerys was last seen in "The Runaway Bride".

Captain Jack was last seen in "Children of Earth: Day Five". (Torchwood)

The Judoon were last seen in "Prisoner of the Judoon". (Sarah Jane Adventures)

Trinity Wells was last seen in "Children of Earth: Day Four". (Torchwood)

Jackie Tyler last appeared in "Journey's End".

Wilfred Mott last appeared in "Journey's End".

*Jessica Hynes previously played Nurse Joan Redfern in "Human Nature" / "The Family of Blood" - and this new character seems to be related to the events in those episodes.

Ood Sigma last appeared as a vision in the closing moments of "The Waters of Mars". The Ood had previously been seen in "Planet of the Ood".

Sylvia Noble last appeared in "Journey's End".

Luke Smith last appeared in "The Gift, Part II". (Sarah Jane Adventures) - though it's likely a story set between that episode and this one will be forthcoming.

Lucy Saxon last appeared in "Last of the Time Lords".

Rose Tyler last appeared in "Journey's End".

The Master last appeared in "Last of the Time Lords".

Sarah Jane Smith last appeared in "The Gift, Part II". (Sarah Jane Adventures) - though it's likely a story set between that episode and this one will be forthcoming.

This is the first appearance of the 11th Doctor.

Donna Noble last appeared in "Journey's End".

The 10th Doctor last appeared in "The Waters of Mars".

Alonso Frame last appeared in "Voyage of the Damned".

It's hard to say how much screen time the guest cast is allowed, though most of these are most likely cameos. It's also likely that 10, The Master, Wilf & Donna have far more screen time.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:01 PM
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   Thursday, December 31, 2009

It's cold in the condo today. Feel a bit out of it. One of Mark's little relatives is in the hospital; worried about her. Worried about Michael, who's having trouble at work, and at home - as David is apparently planning on breaking his lease and moving to Chicago - leaving Michael with the bills plus money he owes Micahel from before. So far, New Year's Eve sucks.

Hoping tomorrow is better.

   posted by Bald Jason at 07:46 PM
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I cleaned my room. Doing some laundry. Cleaned up a bit in the kitchen. Disinfected some surfaces. Shaved and showered. Worked on Michael's farm. Added Janice as a friend on Facebook (she finally joined). I randomly watched 1 of my favorite Buffy scenes (the closing of "Beneath You" between Buffy & Spike in Season 7); I noticed something that I'd never noticed before...some of the powerful music used in that scene is later reorganized in the season ender; been listening to that on repeat for awhile now.

I got a really sweet text from Travis:

'Happy new year to the man I consider "the one who got away" :) I hope 2010 brings you many jaw-dropping joys, literally'

How sweet is that? I almost cried. Mark thought it was sweet too.

Michael called. He's having a very stressful day, and most likely won't be here until after 1am; possibly 2. I told him not to stress and that my New Year doesn't start until he arrives so he can just take his time and not worry about that bit. I hope he's able to chill out.

Despite my holding back the New Year for myself - everyone else begins 2010 in just 13 minutes. Crazy.

   posted by Bald Jason at 11:47 PM
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